Chemo worries

[Sunshiney]

Hi,

One week past my last chemo and I am alive and start to feel like it. I feel like a warrior who concured the enemy. Thank you all for being there and listening, it is really important to me. I wish you all a lot of strength with your chemo path. Not sure why T part was easier for me, but it was. It is also a very good drug they say. Today I literally felt that "all cells are dead now" (even the healthy ones I suppose) and that is good. Good bye cancer, do not come back. -Sunshiney-

[Balli-Boo]

Thats great to hear. 

Thanks for all your help so far.

My chemo starts 2nd Jan.

Your comments are really helpful. 

Take care.

x

[Katherine62]

Bless you all and thank you so much.

I will do the chemo. I have decided on that, all my family and friends think it best and I will just try and accept things one day at a time.

as my dear old Ma said, chosing not to do chemo would be a lonely path, going against advice from the medics that this will give me an over 80% chance of being cancer free in ten years ( and who at 52 can have a 100% esp given my less than ideal life style up to this point). Acceptance is very calming, and i know I'll be nervous and have crisis of doubt, but these are normal and don't mean that I should back off. No more frantic wild eyed googling hour after hour for me.

Honestly, this forum, and you lot are bloody amazing. I thank you all.

and BREATHE!

heaps love

jane xxxxxxxxxxxx

[deelush]

Hi jane,

glad it helped a little, i am also an over thinker and a need to know type too which doesnt always help, but if I've got all the information available then in my mind i can make a plan, understand what i need to do, or can /can't do then tackle it as it happens, i think i was more worried about the side effects because they have to warn you about them all and you kind of go into melt down thinking your going to get them all, but very few people ever do. I never met anyone at any of my treatment sessions that had been very ill or had major side effects, and the little ones that do happen can be dealt with .just make sure you ask for help or let them know if you have a problem, you'll be driving this bus so your in charge and if you need help you'll get it, prompto. Just be sensible when it comes to avoiding people will illness like colds etc, keep a little hand sanitiser in your pocket when your out and look after yourself and get plenty of rest.

take care

deelush x x 

[deelush]

Hi Balli-Boo,

yes ive finished all my active treatment, i am on tamoxifen now and not doing too bad, 

take care 

deelush x x

[Murphy69]

Hi Katherine and all. I elected to have everything offered to me . This was as I had stage three tumour and three other tumours in my breast and twenty lymph nodes testing positive for cancer out of 24 on clearance .my oncologist had today me i have a higher than average chance of it returning even after all the treatment , FEC-T , hereceotin for a year , radio therapy and tamoxefin .so I needed to pursue it otherwise its more than certain t return at least i have a chance pursuing the treatments . I am told charities like tenovus can do research for you on treatments to check you have been offered up to date treatment . I have not used them myself . I am considering using them to look at applying fir dla and a blue badge whicj i told I entitled to apply for on chemo . Good luck . Hope you make the choice thats right for you . Helen xx

[waveylocks]

Hi Jane. It do sympathise - so much to take in a short space of time. The truth is that everyone is different....so you have to weigh up the odds for each person. So for example what are the odds of reoccurrence if you don't do chemo. Personally iahve just jumped at everything that has been showered on me, Everyone individual case is different. For. me for example I realised that there was really no option if I want to survive as I have a large grade 3 tumour and some little ones lurking in my armpit...

[geeG]

Hi Katherine - this certainly is a humdinger of a rollercoaster … none of us choose it and the decisions seem impossible… the Good a News is that the figures are impossible to pin down because they are already out of date - things (research findings of types of breast cancer, treatments, and outcomes to new treatments) have improved SO MUCH over/within the last 10 years. I have met so many ladies who underwent the treatments available 10 to 20 years ago, who are now well, enjoying life and not regretting the difficulties of their treatments (which were much less refined then than now). There really is no choice, given our diagnosis and inevitable result of that without treatment. It is doable.
I was diagnosed in June, had mastectomy and DIEP reconstruction in September, am now half way thru chemo (FEC since mid October, change to docetaxel on Thursday this week), will have 6 radiotherapy treatments thereafter - so expect to finish around Easter - then endocrine tablets… do-able. Hundreds of ladies have been ahead of us and testify that it is more than worth it to take this path. … and realistically - what is our option just now? May be other options in another 20 years - but we need to go forwards now.
All best wishes for your own journey. Hugs x

[Katherine62]

Thank you Sunshiney

I am glad that the chemo part is over for you and you weathered it well.... it's interesting that you found the T part easier than the FEC part... I'm sure as you recover your strength that you will start to feel better emotionally.. it's a gruelling ride and i don't suppose any of us can or will bounce back immediately. Give yourself time.

love

jane

[Sunshiney]

Hi Katherine and all,

I was diagnosed in June 2014 Just had mammogram and was shocked after learning that they actually found something. I had IDC 1.9 cm, grade 3, ER+, PR + HER 2-. No lymph nodes affected but had blood vessel contact to the tumor. Had lumpectomy in July with clear margins. I was so dissapointed to learn that because my tumor was grade 3 and had blood invasion, I would need to have chemo. In my country Finland 2.0 cm is the official limit that they recommend chemo and always if lymph nodes are affected. So, started chemo in August and just finished 3 rounds of Docetaxel and 3 FEC. I used the cold cap through my treatment. Docetaxel was easier for me, I had hardly any side effects. Some flu like symptoms and the taste of food went for couple of days. Also kept very positive because the cold cap seemed to be helping. The hair started coming out only about after the second treatment but I have not lost all my hair at any point. After the fifth treatment I lost more hair and now after the last treatment some more, so I have like a very thin twiggy hair left. Only today my son said that, mon your hair is very thin. But it is still there. FEC was more difficult for me, I have felt quite sick, 3-5 days after the treatment and now after the last treatment, I feel very tired and worn out some how, but now it is over. Also the keeping positive spirit started to fade away a bit towards the end of the treatment, the fear of losing the hair and the feeling sick became more difficult. I tolerated the cold cap quite well but towards the end that also started to feel a bit more difficult. I think it is psychological. I am also a bit worried about the long term effects but my blood cell counts have been quite good through the treatment, I suppose they would show if something would be very wrong. But I have also read quite many posts about BC that reoccurs and I really would like to do everything in my power to prevent that. It looks to be a bit more complicated also if it spreads to other organs, then it is difficult to cure. Lymph node involvement shows that the cancer started to spread already, so it may have sent tiny microscopic cells somewhere else as well. CT scan cannot detect those cells. I had the blood vessel invasion so the cancer may have sent some cells elsewhere. I am tired and also still a bit scared that is it all really gone, the emotions go up and down. I will start rads in January and feel that, thank god there is still something to make sure the cancer is gone. After that comes Tamoxifen treatment for 5 years which protects as well. My cancer was very strongly hormone positive. Now that xmas is coming I am very emotional and feel that I want to do everthing possible to be around for my family.  I don`t want to die and I want to be healthy again. I do feel that BC is a serious condition and needs to be treated properly. Everyone tolerates chemo differently. For me I suppose it was pretty ok, I was expecting worse. It is a journey. This was my story, maybe it helps someone. Good luck with your decision and all the best with your treatments and recovery! Best wishes, Sunshiney

[Katherine62]

Thanks so much Deelush..... I remembered your brilliant post and re-read it, very reassuring. I have had a long talk with parents and daughter today and coming round to the whole thing. I am a dreadful overthinker and tie myself in knots over things frequently. Chemo is a big knot-tier for many of us, I'll bet.

Love to all. This is a brilliant site for being able to express all worries and fears, because I know we can all share ourselves without putting a brave face on.

Jane x

[Balli-Boo]

Hi Deelush. 

So have you now finished your treatment ?

I have just this morning received dates

pre chemo meeting Monday.

1st session 2nd Jan.

I have read some of your ear posts and find them comforting.

So nice to have this blog.

We are all different but it helps knowing how treatment affects individuals.

The blog has helped me with terminology and tips and advice.

Just knowing there are others either in same situation, ahead of you or just starting their journeys.

I was initially petrified of going under a general anaesthetic as not had before.

Fear of the unknown.

I got through it.

I did suffer a bad reaction to the blue dye used but nothing I could do about that.It happened and they dealt with it.

I had a wire guided WLE plus SNB.

Unfortunately node affected.

The team recommended chemo so had my first onc appt last Friday.

Treatment Fec-T 6 seesions.

T given first - session evey 3 weeks.

Then Fec same.

Received a call just now. Pre chemo Monday and 1st session same day! I managed to change it to Jan 2nd.

Absolutely petrified.

Chemo now so real.

I will be giving cold cap a go.

I know the hair loss,ìf i get it, is temporary etc etc but would like to keep as long as possible. 

It is fear of the unknown so will only be able to move forward once start treatmen4.

Thanks for all tips etc. I am sure will need to refer to them in coming months.

xxx

[deelush]

Hi katherine, yes i was so scared about the prospects of having chemo that i really just wanted to run away, but i know if i didnt give everything they offered me ago and cancer came back i would regret it so i had to go ahead for my own piece of mind. Please read the post i put on the 

"Anyone starting chemo in december thread"

I can honestly say the not knowing whats going to happen and how you will react is far far worse than the actual process, and if i was ever in the unfortunate position to ever need chemo again, i would not worry,

its far more doable than people think, and i finished 6 rounds at the beginning of sept, 3 x fec and 3 x tax,  i completed 23 sessions of radiotherapy on friday just gone and feel great.

hope that helps a little

take care deelush x x

[Katherine62]

Hello all,

Diagnosed early November, had my WLE and ANC about a month ago for IDC grade2 at 2.5cm, all out with good margins,  3/15+ nodes, Er+ HER2-, bone and CTscan clear. i am SO depressed that I know all this jargon.

Had first meeting with Onc last thursday, she def wants to go with FEC-T for six goes,  via PIC line, then RX then hormones. She said ten year % risk advantage of chemo was 10%, which made it cut and dried for her.

I am still so SO worried about chemotherapy. I go over and over the pros and cons in my head, I can't stop researching and reading medical papers on the risks..... i don't mean transient SEs like hair loss, nausea etc, i mean the BIG risks... life threatening infections, blood clots, heart damage, sepsis and the fact that in very rare cases chemo can actually cause cancer.They just seem huge to me.

I have talked at length with the wonderfully patient and wise help-line people here, my BC nurses, MacMillan etc and i still can not get over my foreboding. On the predict website it shows chemo would reduce my risk by 4% for five years and 6% for ten years (probably not taking into account that i'm a bit of a fatty......a risk that I am DETERMINED to eliminate, with controlled hypertension and under active thyroid) but nowhere can I find the actual serious long term % risks of chemo.

I have delayed my chemo start date by a week until first week in Jan to give me and my husband time to think, but at the moment all we are doing is getting more and more anxious and confused.

Can anyone help me? I know chemo is 'doable' but at what cost long term? I would really appreciate advise from anyone who felt the same as me, whether or not they decided on chemo. How do i know if I'm just being a big wussy coward or whether my concerns are valid?

Jane