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Children

4 REPLIES 4
lexilou3
Member

Re: Children

Hi all,
My peeps were older, but essentially it us just us as the family unit. I have heard since about schools accessing specialist support services for school aged children which may be wirth exploring. Breast cancer care or Macmillan will have more info on this.
Good luck and may they keep on talking wirh you x x
LL xx
helly18
Member

Re: Children

Sonya,  i was diagnosed in February and my children are 10. they knew i had a problem with the boob as back and forward  to hospital for biopsies although it wasn't until we knew the results and had treatment  plan the we told them and answered they questions as honestly as possible  (age appropriately), and didn't promise anything  eg will you lose your hair, no I don't think so because the Dr's don't think I need the medicine that will do that at the moment, when that changed out the blue my son was very upset and said you promised that wouldn't happen. It was much easier to say no the Dr's didn't think I would but that's changed and he was far more accepting. 

 

Children are not daft and pick up that things aren't right and I think worry more so I  my view honesty is the best policy.  The school have also been very supportive especially after one of the few friends  my son had told announced it to the whole class which upset him greatly. 😕

Mumoftwo
Member

Re: Children

Hi Sonya, my husband and I told our 2 boys (14 & 11) the day after I was diagnosed as it was the Feb half term so thought it would be best to tell them when they were off school for a few days. We felt it was better to tell them straight what the situation was as we didn't want to be lying to them about where I was going for all the hospital appointments. They were both very upset, the youngest was angry with us for telling him, he said he didn't want to know and I shouldn't have told him, but things settled down and got back to normal quickly and now when I go to hospital they don't bat an eyelid. I think if we hadn't told them but they did find out then it might have made the situation seem worse than it already is and more frightening for them. The oldest does talk to his friends about it as he comes home with stories about his friends grans and aunties and their treatments, but I don't think the youngest has told anyone and he doesn't like to talk about it at home either. We did tell their teachers so that they could let us know if there were issues at school but things have been fine so far.  I think it is better to be honest and answer questions as truthfully as possible without causing any upset. My son also has SATS when I start my radiotherapy, hopefully the trauma of the last couple of months won't affect his concentration. xx

PeggyCat
Community Champion

Re: Children

Sonya, I don't have children so have no wisdom to share but from reading your post it would seem that you have very sensible and caring children - you must have done a great job with them. 

 

It was tough enough for me just worrying about how my husband and friends felt about my diagnosis so I feel for you but I expect you will all come through this and it will bring you closer in the long run.

 

I'm sure someone with experience in this area will be along soon but just wanted to wish you good luck.

 

Ruth xx

sonyacheet
Member

Children

Hi there.
I have been very honest with my children from the start as I felt they could both handle it. My daughter is 15 and my son is 11. My daughter wanted to know the facts, what it was, how were they going to treat it? Etc. My son said to me the night I told him, you know what mum, I'm not going to worry because they have caught it early. They know what they are doing and they are going to cure you. Which was really sensible and lovely of him to say. Since then he has started to reach out to his friends at school. I work in his school and in doing so has found not all of them to be sympathetic. It also meant that members of staff who previously did not know, do now. He has his SATs the week I have my surgery. I feel awful that he has been worrying about the situation and have asked certain members of staff to step in if needed. How did your children cope with your diagnosis and treatment? Was I right to tell them?
Thanks for your advice ladies.
Sonya