Sonya, i was diagnosed in February and my children are 10. they knew i had a problem with the boob as back and forward to hospital for biopsies although it wasn't until we knew the results and had treatment plan the we told them and answered they questions as honestly as possible (age appropriately), and didn't promise anything eg will you lose your hair, no I don't think so because the Dr's don't think I need the medicine that will do that at the moment, when that changed out the blue my son was very upset and said you promised that wouldn't happen. It was much easier to say no the Dr's didn't think I would but that's changed and he was far more accepting.
Children are not daft and pick up that things aren't right and I think worry more so I my view honesty is the best policy. The school have also been very supportive especially after one of the few friends my son had told announced it to the whole class which upset him greatly. 😕
Hi Sonya, my husband and I told our 2 boys (14 & 11) the day after I was diagnosed as it was the Feb half term so thought it would be best to tell them when they were off school for a few days. We felt it was better to tell them straight what the situation was as we didn't want to be lying to them about where I was going for all the hospital appointments. They were both very upset, the youngest was angry with us for telling him, he said he didn't want to know and I shouldn't have told him, but things settled down and got back to normal quickly and now when I go to hospital they don't bat an eyelid. I think if we hadn't told them but they did find out then it might have made the situation seem worse than it already is and more frightening for them. The oldest does talk to his friends about it as he comes home with stories about his friends grans and aunties and their treatments, but I don't think the youngest has told anyone and he doesn't like to talk about it at home either. We did tell their teachers so that they could let us know if there were issues at school but things have been fine so far. I think it is better to be honest and answer questions as truthfully as possible without causing any upset. My son also has SATS when I start my radiotherapy, hopefully the trauma of the last couple of months won't affect his concentration. xx
Sonya, I don't have children so have no wisdom to share but from reading your post it would seem that you have very sensible and caring children - you must have done a great job with them.
It was tough enough for me just worrying about how my husband and friends felt about my diagnosis so I feel for you but I expect you will all come through this and it will bring you closer in the long run.
I'm sure someone with experience in this area will be along soon but just wanted to wish you good luck.