I feel as if I really should’nt be complaining as I have had 5 out of 6 cycles of FEC chemo and am due for final cycle 15th August 
. This is to be followed by 3 weeks Radiotherapy, Tamoxifen and Herceptin. I am naturally a very positive person and have tried to remain this way since I was diagnosed in March. However, the last couple of days, I’m struggling alot with my physical appearance. I am using the cold cap and fortunately still have a fairly decent head of hair, even though its thinned and is now very grey as I can’t have it coloured. I keep my nails painted as advised to protect them but they are awful-thin, split and discoloured. I looked in the mirror this morning and hardly recognised myself. Sorry for seeming to moan when some of you are suffering far worse than I am but really struggling today 
. I seem to have lost myself somewhere in the last few months.
hi Mac 123 not yet started chemo yet but what you must be feeling may be comparable to "hitting the wall "when running a marathon you are almost there can see the finish but energy levels are nil struggling to get past that line . Listen to all that support spuring you on as you have done for many others on this forum . You are allowed to feel sorry for youself sometimes, as it is no mean feat what are all going through Your appearance is very one sided and others will not see what you are seeing. we see a lovely strong positive supportive person. Be kind to yourself whats afew split nails and grey hair you have come so far the real person is in that mirror not lost at all love Gill
Couldnt have put it better myslef Venice hitting the wall is a perfect analogy.
Mac just think that for xmas your hair will be back to full thickness and strength and this nightmare will be behind you
new year new you
I think we all want to see the back of this year
Hi Mac123 I know where you are coming from. I had 6 cycles of Fec-T followed by 3 and a half weeks of Radiotherapy. I thought at the end of chemo I would feel good - another thing ticked off the list but I felt awful. Very tired, upset with not being able to do all the things I could do before. Then I started Radiotherapy with boosters on the first 3 days and the last 3 days. I said when I was done with the daily appointments I would be celebrating but I finished 2 weeks ago and still don’t feel like celebrating. I did not use the cold cap as my hair was thin and I had highlights so there would not have been much left. I am now egg shell blonde with a few bristles starting to grow again. I lost my eyebrows but went to a Look Good Feel Better session and they showed me how to draw my eyebrows in. If you haven’t been to one then you should consider going. My nails look like they have been trapped in a car door! They have been orange to purple and very sore. My toenails have gone the same. I used nail polish to give them some strength. I am now on Tamoxifen and that seems to be ok. I am normally a very positive person too but you are tested to your limits on this journey. My skin was good on Radiotherapy until I got to the last week then it started to break down. It looked a mess but now 2 weeks after finishing it is healing and I will soon get a bra on again. (I have big boobs which caused me a few issues). Try and stay positive as you will feel better soon. My hair has started growing again but looks very grey. I am not sure when I can colour it but at least it is growing. I have decided that whatever colour i get I will have to accept it. Good luck with your last chemo and radiotherapy. Take care from Vi.
Thanks to all of you for your very kind and positive comments. I’ve tried to be so positive throughout that feeling the way I do at the moment has hit me with no warning. This journey is a real emotional rollercoaster, somedays feeling quite good and other days feeling flat and low. Oh well, todays another day so onward and upward as they say. Thanks again to all of you