Hi kate I can understand that you are worried about it, as you still have to have treatment. I hope you are feeling a bit better but that will come when it is all finished. It is better to have someone to chat to I feel like I have been to hell and back. I will be glad when the fears all go away, but I don't know about you but i never thought i would get this, did you ? I don't think we will ever forget it as it has been so painful. Do you have any children at all to be able to talk to, I have two daughters and i mentioned to them how nice you are but I don't yet feel like I can talk to them as it is still too painful for me take care hugs Lindalou
Hi LIndalou, I do worry that the cancer may come back or that there is still some floating around.I am sure with time it will settle down and we will start living again. I don't think we will forget all about it will always be there in the background. You are right not to worry about people being horrid after what you been through.The most important thing is your wellbeing. I am worried about Radiotheraphy but I have to get it done.I hope you are feeling a little bit better than yesterday. Take care hugs Kate
Hi Kate I think it's all the worry over the past few months and can't believe it has happened. They didn't tell me what grade I had, they just said I don't need any further treatment till i go for my next mamogram in the new year. I still feel like it will come back do you? I was low yesterday it all got a bit too much for me, I am looking forward to going back, but worrying if one or two of them get a bit horrid to me as I had that all last year starting from Feb 2008 till xmas, but if there is any good to come out of this, I know I cannot put up with anymore. Do you feel any better now you have got the news about your radiotherapy. It must still be traumatic for you I hope you will feel a bit better when you have been,Yes It has been rough for us I knew 31st December 2008 that i would need an op and it has felt like a nightmare ever since take care hugs lindalou
Hi Lindalou, I have to start rads in the next few weeks.Yes going to the hospital is a nightmare it brings it all back. I just wish it was all over with. Did they tell you what grade you had. I had grade 2 but no invasive cancer, thank god. What a start to the new year you had being told you had DCIS.I hope you have got over the bug you had last week.Hugs Kate
Hi Kate I will be thinking of you tomorrow so I hope everything goes okay, Are you thinking like me the sooner the better. I think like you that we don't have cancer anymore but we still dread the word, I don't know about you even the hospital makes me feel ill. I feel like I am in a nightmare and I will wake up and think it has all been a dream (if only) I haven't got much appetite either. Last year had started off terrible for me, as I got told on the 31st December 2008 that i would need a operation. This year has started off with having a lot of tests and you know the rest. Well good luck for tomorrow, lots of hugs Lindalou
Hi Lindalou, I hope your feeling a little better today.I am going tomorrow to see about my radiotheraphy,but I don't know when it will start. No I never got a choc egg either maybe it's just as well as I seem to be eating for comfort just now and then I seem to go of my food.I was just looking at my appt card and notice that it's at the cancer dept. I don't know about you but the very word cancer makes me feel sick. I know we don't have cancer anymore but I still can't get it out my head. Still it's good to be able to chat with you and get things of my chest...... Take care hugs Kate
Hi Kate sorry I have not answered in the past few days as I have not felt very well. Probably a bug or something. I hope you are feeling a bit better it ia getting nearer now but as you say the sooner the better. I hope everything goes alright for you. Well the staff was so pleased to see me and that's made me feel a lot better about going back, They asked a few questions about it all and they said how ill I looked at xmas,I thought I was going mad I still do sometimes. Like you I would like to forget about it all, I still don't want to see anybody and have to answer all the questions to anyone. Well you take care and I will be thinking of you hugs lindalou did you get lots of eggs I didn't get one.
Thats good news about your work being so understanding. I think your right to take a few extra weeks before going back, you have been through a lot. I want and don't want at the same time to start the Radiotheraphy but the sooner I start the sooner it will be all over with. Your right we could not have got through this without the family help. I think we would like to erase the last couple of months from our memory. You have taken a big step by going and meeting the Manager and staff again. WELL DONE. I hope you get lots of chocolate eggs this weekend. Hugs Kate
Hi Kate How are you feeling are you getting all wound up over your Radiotherapy date getting nearer. I have been in to see them at work and it made me feel a bit better as they was all pleased to see me. I am going back in May as I think I need an extra couple of weeks off so I should be okay then. The Manager and the staff made me feel important, they said I looked better and they said i could get back to doing a few less hours so I am looking forward to going back and my Doc said it would be good for me. I still cannot discuss it all with my family, even though I wouldn't have got through all this without their help. I enjoy chatting to you, but i still feel like I don't want to see anybody I know, I don't know why I just want to forget it all. Well I hope you are feeling a bit better and I will be thinking of you next week hugs Lindalou
Hi Lindalou, I do feel exhausted somedays and other days I seem to be able to manage to go for a walk. Yesterday I was exhausted and was feeling unwell but I am ok today.Maybe you should have a couple more weeks of work. Are you feeling nervous of meeting people again at work. I don't speak about it very much to the family. Some parts of the country have drop in centres for people dealing with all aspects of cancer, it something I was maybe going to do as they have a understanding of how people are feeling. Hugs Katex
Hi Kate I am not sure whether or not I can go back to work yet, I don't know about you but i feel exhausted all the time. Went back to docs today and he said it has been traumatic for me and i don't seem able to move on. I know it is for everybody. How are you feeling Kate? My doctor mentioned to ask my boss for a few hours at a time, I only do sixteen a week, but that feels like a milestone at the moment. I seem to want to hide away from everybody. Can you talk about it yet to your family or is it making you feel like you don't want to acknowledge it yet. I couldn't even look at the books about it all till after my op Take care hugs lindalou
Hi Lindalou, Glad to hear that the painkillers are working, it's pity they cant give pills to make all the worry go away. Are you able to go back to work this month? One day hopefully we can move on and not think about it every day. I dont think it helps with the media coverage of poor Jade Goody, it was on the TV every other night.
I am trying to make myself go out for a walk and go shopping again. Do you still have an appointment with your GP this week?
Hugs and take care,
Hi kate I am taking my painkillers and it isn't as painful now but like you feel like your world has turned upside down and I know that everybody thinks that you should be feeling on top of the world by now but I don't. I feel like I cannot move forward from this, even now I keep thinking it could come back, I know the other ladies seem very poorly as well but it doesn't make it any easier does it. My family think I am okay now, it is good to talk to you because we are both in the same boat, but you seem to be having it a bit rougher than me, and you understand. I still cannot talk to anybody about it all. I hope you are feeling a bit better, but I understand that you cannot help it either I'll send you a hug and take care lindalou
Hi Lindalou, Sorry to hear about your ordeal, I hope the painkillers are working and try to take it easy. You wonder when is this all going to go away, as you say family think you should be feeling on top of the world by now. My world feels as if has been turned upside down. I have an appointment with the radiotherapy dept on Wed 15th, I don't know when I will start the treatment.
I do feel guilty when you read the forum and realize that some of the ladies are in such a bad way. I think we are still in shock , and I know I worry what if it comes back, do you feel that some times.I am still looking at good places to run away to but I havent found it yet. I hope you will feel better soon and take it easy. Hugs Kate
Hi Kate after trying to get an appointment on Monday the receptionist said I had to wait for a week to see my doctor who has been very good with me. She doesn't seem to know that it's an ordeal to go and see any doctor if you think like i do, I just want to run away. I phoned my BCN up and I had to go back to City Hospital yesterday, instead of my doctors which could have done the same thing. I thought i had seen the back of that place till next year, they said I had some kind of infection and I have to take another lot of painkillers for my arm. I like to chat to you as well we seem to have both gone through the mill don't we. I hope you are feeling a little bit better, one day you do then the next you feel like rubbish and you wish you could wake up and think it's all been a dream. Take care I'll send you a big hug Lindalou