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DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

Hi Heidi......You've been through such a lot these last few months. And unfortunately yep, you are having to 'grit your teeth and get on with it'. But you can do it girl. If you want a rant or to offload, come on and do just that, thats what this thread is for.
I've been on arimidex nearly 2yrs now, so if you want to ask any questions ask away. Every drug has its side effects as you know.

You take care now love. Big big hugs. And well done for beating this cr*p disease!Again!!!

Hope everyone else is back to normality.
Helenxxx

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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

Hi all.
thought it was about time i updated.!
Ok. Well yes it was back. Evidently never went away.
Had op last week to remove lots of chest wall and also my beautiful reconstruction. Been v difficult week. Saw oncologist today. Not chosen chemo route. Stopping Tamoxifen cos its not done its job. Having zoladex monthly injections and armidex. Not looked into them on here yet but no doubt Will!
onwards and upwards eh. Grit my teeth.smile and get on with it.
Helen... You have been Fab. Thank you. Xxxxxxx
hope you all well Xxxxxxx

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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

Hi there girls...Heidi,you are having one rough ride of it. Just know that we are here for you anytime you need a chat or rant about anything...take care love, big big hugs and positive vibes coming your way in a never ending loop....

take care love
Helenxxx

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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

You go girl....thinking of you heidi....

Helenxx

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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

Hi Helen and girls.
Thank you so much for your support. Means the world to me. Feeling very calm and can't wait to get it out. Had to get some diazapan from Dr on Monday as was all over the place! anyway my warrior head is back on and ready for battle. Lots of love Xxxxxxx

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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

Hi all...Heidi just a message to wish you all the luck with your op tomorrow. Will be thinking of you love. positive vibes and cyber hugs coming your way....(((hugs))

take care now
Helenxxx

amdamc
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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

Heidi

Cyber hugs and totally understand your worries - the mind goes into overdrive, but try to rein it in and wait for the guy who knows to tell you the results - all sounds good on paper doesn't it!

We're here and rooting for you.
Love Anne x

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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

Oh heidi love.....keep strong as you can sweetheart, big hugs and postiive vibes for you....as Cathy has said we are with you all the way....

love Helenxxx

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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

Hey Heidi

I'm so sorry to hear how scared you're feeling - and who would blame you. All I can do is send hugs, love etc.

I've sent you a PM.

I know we're all here for you in whatever way we can help.

Lots of love.

Cathy x

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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

Panic panic panic. Is anyone out there. I have the mist terrible gut wrenching feeling i have got inflammatory bc not invasive. Help help x

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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

Hi all. Thank you all so much for your support. I go into hospital on Thursday. Scared for so many different reasons.
Czech mate...nice to meet you. Must admit i am not great with abbreviations! The lump is definitely in my muscle in the exact place of first cancer lump. Dr said its also spreading round my implant. Had 5 weeks of radiotherapy and can't understand why its come back. Dr says he sees a case like me once very few years but not sure what he means.
The kids took it ok. Questions started coming about an hour after. I HATE the fact they are going through this again. I don't want their child hood ruined by breast cancer. They always have been and always Will be my number 1 priority in all this. I just dissolve when they go to bed.
I am so frightened. It means so much to have you all Here. Thank you.
So great to hear from you all. X x x

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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

Hi girls....Anne well done you...you'll make a great listener, got plenty of life experience behind you....stronger for it! You go girl!

Heidi let us know how you are doing .....big hugs!

Helenxxx

amdamc
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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

Hi everybody

Come on here to browse every now and then and something made me look at our old forum and saw your posts Heidi.

Hard to know what to say, but absolutely thinking of you and sending the vibes and hugs as hard as I can. Please let us know when you're going in and what's happening. Have been in your shoes, and know how strong you are, hang in there kid and wish we were all nearer to each other - just keep in touch.

Helen & Cathy - lovely to hear you two again, seems only like yesterday when we were comparing notes. I've just signed up for volunteering at Citizens Advice, trying to help people with problems - must be a sucker for stress!

Take care and love to all.
Cheers
Anne

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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

hi there Heidi...well it sounds like they are pretty concerned, and its very stressful for you not knowing for definite until the after the op. Either way, its being sorted and quick too...its going to be hard for you to tell your kids again...positive vibes and hugs coming your way love....will be thinking of you next week, let us know which day you have the op on.

Hi Cathy, glad your normal life is back on track and your doing well. And it is good to know that there is always someone here on the forum, if we need it...

take care
Helenxxx

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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

Hello Heidi, been reading your story (and others) from afar for a long time, sorry it has come back. May I ask if the lump was over the top of the implant area? Or even on a scar? Just read that RT causes BC in the ICON mag.
I've asked my surgeon how BC would show up again over a recon and he said it would be in the skin but I have little confidence in him so am nervous about all these things.
I hope they can remove the lump without too much collateral damage.

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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

Hi.
Thanks for yr message Cathy. Its so weird falling back into breast cancer world again. Hoped it would be longer than 2 years of entering it again though. I saw oncologist today. I have op next week. He thinks it may be in my chest muscle. Wont know more till after op or even if i Will keep implant till i wake up from op. Telling my 2 kiddies tonight. Here we go again.
Xxxxxxx

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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

Hi Heidi, Helen and Anne

I haven't been on here for what seems a lifetime and have just had the 'finishing touch' to my surgery (which I will get to see tomorrow).

Heidi, I'm so sorry to hear that you've got this worry all over again and I couldn't "log off" without sending you love and wishing all the best.

Helen and Anne, I hope your lives are going well. It's strange, although I haven't been here for a while (getting on with life etc, etc), it doesn't feel strange posting and I still feel I'm talking to friends.

Wishing you all - and everyone else here on the forum - lots of love.

Cathy x

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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

Hey there Heidi....oh I'm so sorry its a lump, heres hoping for the best love. Have they diagnosed the lump yet, or are they going ahead and taking the lump out anyway? I know you have a strong family there Heidi, all routing for you and being there. When is your op. I guess you will find more things out on wed. I am really feeling for you love....take care and keep busy, so the time will go quicker.

thinking of you
Helenxxx

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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

Hi Helen
scan has confirmed its definitely a lump and not scar tissue. They r planning an op for me. See the oncologist again wed. Am completely petrified. X

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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

Hi Heidi....Oh love I'm late on here posting, but I have everything crossed for you. Hope the biopsy went well. I hope you will find out the results very quick. Because of your previous history, they should do this quite quickly. I feel for you love, but here for you. Let me know how you go on. Big ,Big hugs and loads of positive vibes love. A step at a time.

take care now
Helenxxx

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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

Hi Helen.
Glad yr doing well...takes time to get life back in some order. V happy for you.
I just thought i would let u know i saw oncologist today...he worried. Going in for scan and biopsy tomorrow. Here we go again.
Xxxxxxx

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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

I'm doing just fine Heidi. Finally, this last month, I finally feel like I'm getting back to normal. My energy levels have increased loads...so I'm picking up the threads of my life and beginning to enjoy it once more. All good.

Yeah Its gonna feel like going back in time for you love. Just this time you have the knowledge of what you might have to go through. Soooo hope that you dont need to. Take it a step at a time like you did before...the only way.

take care love
Helenxxx

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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

Nell. ... Thank you so much for coming to my rescue. Good to speak to you again. Yes feel like i have rewound 2 years. Positive thinking and all that i know.
How are you doing?!? Xx

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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

Hi Heidi love....its mixed feelings hearing from you, everyone is getting their life back together again and then something like that happens. Not hearing from the girls, is all good, hopefully. I'm so glad you are getting it checked as soon as. The waiting will be the worst as you know.
We can all keep our fingers crossed for you Heidi and hope that any results are quick in coming back to you. Better safe than sorry. Wish I could give you the reassurance you need....I have my everything crossed for you love...and am here for you as I'm sure the other girls are. Positive vibes and super big hugs winging their way to you.

take care lovey, will be thinking of you
Helenxxx

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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

HI girls.

Long time no speak...
Hope you are all doing well in your journey.
Am looking for a bit of reassurance... 😞
On Tuesday night i noticed that i have a huge dimple in my bc reconstructed breast. In the middle of it a pea sized hard lump. Just like before. Going to see oncologist on Wednesday, GP already seen it and is concerned too.
Am 2 years on, had mastectomy on this area, 25 radiotherapy sessions and done 2 years of tamoxifen so far.
It can't be coming back surely???? But if not then what is it??

Sorry to be all doom and gloom.

Heidi xxxxx

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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

Oh Heidi...wet eyes here too..fantastic!!!What a great fund raising event!!Well done you...
Sarah thats great news too about your 5 year pass....congratulations!
I'm sure your mammo will be just fine.
Life is for living and its great to see everyone doing just that...

I'm in the process of retiring from teaching...but as one door closes then another will open...in time...Embracing a new future is beginning to feel good...even exciting!

Keep well all
Helenxxx

amdamc
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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

Hi Heidi

Just seen the video and it made me cry. All power to you, well done, brilliant stuff.

Cheers
Anne x

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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

Hi everyone.

As Sarah said, it was great to meet up with her for a quick hug before we went into playtex city to do our moonwalk marathon. Honestly had the best night of my life. Smiled every step of the way and can't wait to do it again.
I made a short video and have put it on you tube, all you have to do is copy and paste the link below and it will lead you straight to it. It's very amateur and the music only comes on half way through it but it tells my moonwalk story.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7z50DUjSHc

Heidi xxx

Esskayeff
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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

I was in London on Saturday/Sunday with my husband Steve who was doing the moonwalk and met up with Heidi for a quick photo. Both completed it - a great achievement - and both raised over a £1000 for breast cancer. A real achievement.
Hope all are well. Waiting for my mammo results and passed my 5 years yesterday - keep hoping I am not tempting fate by celebrating !

xx

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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

Hi folks...Glad the recovery from your op is progressing just fine Anne. Yep we just have our tattoos to do. I have decided to ask for something like a bee or butterfly, mmmmm how about a horse, then I can ride into the sunset for good! hehehehe

Not had a holiday yet Anne. I went back to work part time in february. Found I just didn't have the stamina for it, mentally and physically...so on 'sick' once again....feeling so much better these days. Think I will be closing that door now...but there's always a window to open isn't there.... a new 'normality' I think...but definitely looking forward to a holiday after two years without!!

take care now missus
and everyone else too....
Helenxxxx

amdamc
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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

Hello everybody.

Heidi - all power to you, its brill you're doing the moonwalk, I've managed the Race for Life ten times (must come kind of near to your distance, just taken me ten years to do it!) All the very best, it must be an amazing experience, enjoy and will be thinking of you.

Sarah, all the best to your hubby and thats excellent news on your 5yrs. I'm 12 days past boob reduction and nipple and trying not to do too much, but its so much easier than the diep and I keep forgetting not to lift, pull, etc.. but see surgeon tomorrow for post op meet and hope to get the all clear to drive and exercise again. So very much hope this is my last op for a long long time.

Helen, lovely to hear from you and now we both only have the tatoo to go. Keep well and have you had that holiday yet??

Love to all.
Cheers
Anne x

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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

Hi girls...yep everyone is moving on Heidi and thats a good thing...putting this all behind us, as much as we can. Soooooooo impressed at your fantastic recovery and training...and so proud of you doing the moonwalk. I think tears are in order, washing away the rubbish you went through and starting afresh....which I hope goes for all of us on this forum.
Sarah lovely to hear from you too. and great of your hubby to give Heidi tips for training. You sound well up to speed too. Nearly five years past diagnosis...one hell of a great goal to achieve....good for you!!Onward and upward!!!
Anne how did your op go. Sorry meant to ask earlier...hope all went as well as it could go. Now there is just your tattoo to have...a bit further down the line, then thats one big tick off your list of getting things done!!!great!!!

Hope all are keeping on track and moving onwards...take care all...

Helenxxx

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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

Hi everyone!!

Feel really bad that i have let our thread slip.. time has ticked by and life has begun to return to normal 'ish' i guess!
My boob has settled into position well, still numb and bit tight on the back but am THRILLED still with the results. Think i said in my last post that am giving the nipple recon a miss for now. I want a year free from operations/procedures as much as for my childrens sake rather than mine. My two have both been through so much and i want them to enjoy having me back and healthy without them being worried about knocking me/bumping into me again etc.
As Sarah said, i am doing the moonwalk in London in 12 days time (yikes - scared/excited/apprehensive/emotional) 26.2 miles during the night wearing a decorated bra. I will be thinking of all you lovely ladies throughout the night and am doing it for US! I have raised over £700 so far and it ALL goes to breast cancer charities so i am chuffed to bits. Have suffered with blisters during training but am so pleased with how far i have been walking when i am normally the one who parks as close to the shop as possible!! LoL!
I look forward to meeting Sarahs husband on the night - he has been giving me regular training tips!
Anne - are you ok? Funny place to get skin cancer on the boob - have they sorted it? I had it on my back when i was 23, had about 10 inches removed, not had a problem since (touch wood).
Nell - think of you often... xx
And the rest of you all too in the different stages that you are at.
I am expecting to shed a tear or two on the night of the moonwalk, but its all positive and a real 'moving on' point for me to be doing this marathon.

Love and thoughts always
Heidi xxxx

Esskayeff
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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

I keep thinking that this time last year I was getting in a panic about the op but I have to admit it was all worth it. I had my 50th birthday 2 weeks ago and had a big party which was wonderful. Lenny and her husband came which was great - we discovered a further coincidence - my sister in law went out with Lenny's brother when she was 14!!
My husband Steve is doing the Moonwalk in 3 weeks time for BC as is Heidi.
Next month I shall reach my 5 years post diagnosis. Still waiting to hear when I get my uplift and nipple.
Hope everyone is well and enjoying the sunshine.
Sarah
xxx

amdamc
Member

Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

Hi Helen

So good to hear from you and thanks for the kind wishes. Just got back from my pre-op and just want Friday to come and get it all done and dusted.

Tattoo - thats a giggle, can't wait for that one!

All the best and thanks again.
Cheers
Anne x

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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

Hi Anne..a year already you say...thats both gone quick and slow , depending on whats been happening....
I hope your skin cancer was and is sorted out....what a blow for you love. We are all getting on with our lives...closing some doors and opening others hopefully. Good luck with your levelling up op, I'm sure it will go well...I just have my tattoo to do now then recon is finished with hurrah!

I hope you are all well and progressing with work commitments and life. Take care all and give yourself 'me' time as and when you need it.

Look after yourself Anne..I hope your road becomes smoother this next year..

Helenxxx

amdamc
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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

Hi everybody

Can you believe it, one year gone since I started this post and lots has happened since my last visit. Have had skin cancer in my good boob which has delayed my "levelling up op", but now its sorted and I'm booked for the 23 April. So hopefully on the final bit of my recon saga and will be able to find bras easier and maybe even go braless hehee.

Nell, Tracy, Heidi, Lenny, Lyra, Sarah to name a few of you who became recon buddies, hope you are all well and to those considering recon who read this post, it is soooo worth it.

Cheers
Anne x

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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

Hi girls..just a quickie to say that all went well with the op and I was able to walk away from it after half an hour...great!! Not seen the result yet, but will next week.

I hope all are keeping well...a special thought for you Lenny, because I know you must have had your MRI result way back..whatever it was I hope it was nothing or copeable for you...

take care all in your daily lives ....
Oh forgot to say..I'm starting work..well hopefully..on 22nd Feb..

catch ya later
Helenxxx

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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

Thanks Lyra...this op will be a walk in the park compared to the others this year...thanks again!

Hope all are keeping well
Helenxx

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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

Hi Helen

I had a general anaesthetic because they did some work on my other breast and had to tidy up my abdominal scar on one side, so the op took longer. I also had to stay in hospital overnight. So I can't say what they do when it's a local anaesthetic. I suppose you could take an ipod with you and listen to music yourself - I'm sure they'll want you to be relaxed!

Lyra xxxxxxxxxxxxx

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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

Hi to everybody...just a quick question Lyra. Did you have a local anaesthetic? and if so, how did it feel someone doing surgery on your breast while you were awake...and did they chat to you or give you music to listen to? I know its only a short op. so not too worried about it...just curious about the wide awake part!

take care all
Helenxx

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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

Hi there everyone

Just a quick message before I head off for work. The nipple reconstruction was fine Helen, though I did get very anxious afterwards about dressings and aftercare - but mainly because I was going to my practice nurse rather than the hospital which was far away and she didn't have a clue ( didn't even know what DCIS was) - so I went back to the hospital and am now an expert on dressings etc. So anything you need to know just ask. It looked a bit strange at first, but now looks really like muy other nipple. I had my op at the beginning of December.

As for going back to work, it feels fine now and that fuzzy, confused brain thing has gone and I feel back to normal. Be aware though it has taken months of being back to start feeling this way - at times I thought I would never be able to think straight again and there's alot of thinking required in my job - but be assured it will all come clear.

Hope Lenny, Tracey, Sarah and Anne you are all ok. Lovely to hear your positiveness again Heidi,

Much love
Lyra xxxxxxxxxxxxx

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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

Hi all...hi there Heidi. Good luck with your onc appointment next week. I had mine last week and he made me a mammo appointment there and then for Feb...so make sure you ask about it when you go.
Its been a funny start to the year ...weatherwise, you'll soon get back into the swing of it. I will be having my nipple recon next Fri, but like you I'm not bothered one way or another, and that sounds silly having it done. But with all thats gone on this year, I felt that I'd go with the flow and its a lesser op than the others, so I will cope.
We haven't had a holiday for a good long while, so will be making plans for one for this year ...at last !!! yeah.
Corfu is a lovely place I've been told ...and what a lovely thing for you to be able to do. Introducing your family to your friends, how proud you will be and emotional...enjoy it Heidi!!

I will be starting work after the Feb half term. I'm not up to speed stamina wise, but hopefully that will build up while I'm on the job!!

Good luck to you Heidi, nice to hear from you...and hope Lenny, Cathy, Sarah, Tracy, Lyra, Christina, Helen and Anne are getting along just fine....all back to normality...a good thing!!!

catch ya later
Helenxx

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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

Hi everybody

happy new year! Hope that you all had a lovely time with your family and friends... feels like a long time ago now doesn't it?

Its been hard to get back into the swing of normal routine with all the snow problems, school closures etc. Feels like its all back to normality this week.

Diet began yesterday - have put on a stone and a half in a year so its time to knuckle down and shift some of it. Have started training for my moon walk so am hoping that it will kick start it a bit!

Have my oncology appointment next week, will be my first one in a year. Feeling a little apprehensive about it, not sure if i will have a mammogram etc but it will be good to get some reassurance and to finally talk about the side effects of the tamoxifen. its been a year that i have been on the hormone therapy now, can't believe how quickly it has gone! My gp is not too knowledgable about tamoxifen and I have never had a review from being on them, so it will be good to discuss it with someone.
Tracy - that is so sad about your friend, what a terrible tragedy. Hugs xx
Nell - you are looking so well in your photo - how are you doing?
Lenny - have seen the photos of your pup on facebook - he is adorable.

We have booked our summer holidays to Corfu, i worked there for a couple of years in my twenties so we are going back to see friends. Have not been back for 14 years so can't wait to show the children off as they have never been there. Its so nice to have something to look forward to.
Lots of love to you all...... Think about you all often.

Heidi xxx

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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

I hope all are well . If you are out and about this weather , take care, the black ice is dangerous!! Sorry for stating the obvious. Its nice to know that all are getting on with their lives...normality is good!!

take care all
Helenxxx

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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

Hi all...

HAVE A WONDERFUL NEW YEAR! HERE'S TO BETTER HEALTH AND HAPPINESS! AND TO LOVELY FRIENDS !!! ENJOY YOUR CELEBRATIONS ALL!!!

CATCH YA IN 2010

Helenxxxxx

Thought I'd start the year anew with a new photo... this one was taken on Christmas day and the last one was too....

Have a great new years day!!

Lenny
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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

hi one and all,

i have had connection problems just recently and then christmas wildness set in, hence not posting for a while. i am well and have had 2 lovely days with family in my lovely home...so good to have space to have everyone round.

my mri went ok... don't like them... but have had worse. not sure when the results will be. they are not expecting anything sinister but the thought is always there. thanks for your enquiries helen. if it is what the neurologist thinks, my shaky leg is something i will have to live with...

by the way we now have the new member of our family, he is a 9 week old, black labrador puppy called jet... he is stunning adorable and o so naughty... he has brought us much joy already!

and that is my wis for us all,that 2010 will bring us much joy, love,peace and health.

if i don't write before, happy new year!

lots of love,

lenny
xxxx

ps lyra so sorry about your friend... love and prayers coming your way..

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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

Thats so very sad Tracy. {{hugs}} to your friends and family and to you as well love...life throws such heartaches, and makes us aware of how precious life is ...I'm pleased that you at least had a lovely Christmas day....

Hope everyone else had a nice Christmas ...My day was lovely too...lets hope the new year is a good one...here's to a positive and healthy new year to you all..

Lenny I hope your MRI went just fine...fingers crossed for your results..

take care all
Helenxx

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Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

Hi everyone,

Sorry for my absence of late, but since I went back to work and started planning Christmas I have been run off of my poor old feet.

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas, my Christmas day was lovely but then it all collapsed around my ears yesterday - my boss called from work to say that a very good friend (and colleague) of mine had died on Christmas Eve as the result of a fall in the snow, she was truly a lovely person and was one of my rocks during my treatment. She leaves two children aged 21 & 23, whom have already lost their father. It is so tragic and unfair, she was only 50.

Anyway, I apologise for making my first message after so many months a miserable one, but I know you will all understand.

Love to you all and may you and your loved ones new year be full of happiness.

Tracy xxxx

Esskayeff
Member

Re: DIEP booked 18 April - EEek

Just a very quick wish to you all for a very Happy Christmas day. Going to bed soon before Santa comes ! Every year I say I wll start wrapping sooner but I was still wrapping at 6pm tonight.
The church bells have started ringing so I suddenly feel very Christmassy.
Hope everyone has a VERY healthy 2010.
Love Sarah
xxxx