HI Whitefield, We all struggle with this type of diagnosis and treatment path. Some people cope better other not so much. I started off quite positive but once I had my type of cancer I started to read all the horror stories to the extent that I cleaned out my personal belongings and gave away various things, this was to prevent my family having to have a massive clear out when I was dead. I thought at that point that I would not survive six months, again no real reason for it other than reading all the outdated stuff about Her2 positive breast cancer. However as treatment progressed and I stayed away from all information pre 2012 I became more positive and am still today. I take each day as it comes, I enjoy my life and dont let trivial things upset me. Yes I do worry and I still get wobble days when I can become quite depressed but I pick myself up and tell myself that I have been given the best treatment on offer and have made friends with some ladies who are post 10 years with her2 secondary breast cancer. So there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Also when I had my diagnosis after surgery and was referred for bone and ct scan it sent me haywire for a time, but I spoke to my breast care nurses who talked me thourgh all aspects of treatment and learned that everyone who had spread to lymph nodes had scans and really it was a way of knowing exactly what treatment I would need. Yes it is scary but with the right support and treatment you wil get through it. Take care, good luck as you start your treatment.
This really is a difficult time for you. I can bet the people telling you to be positive aren't currently going through treatment for breast cancer. You really will go through every emotion possible over the next few weeks.
There is a thread where people have posted some of the bizarre things friends and family have said, i am sure with the best of intentions. I have been told various things from 'there is always somebody worse of than you' (trust me on some days i struggled to believe that). and one really good friend told me not to worry Breast Cancer is like the common cold now........ I hope she never gets this particular cold......
In terms of thinking you may die, everybody has different thoughts but i can tell you i am almost two years on from my original diagnosis. During this time i have had Neo adjuvant Chemo 6 x FecT, 5 x surgery and 15 sessions of Radiotherapy. Some days i was able to be positive and on others i had very dark days. Only now do i see this as a normal response to an abnormal situation. I know you have only just been diagnosed so it's hard to imagine two years down the line when today will seem like a bad dream.
On some of my bad days i cleaned out cupboards / wardrobes (so that my family wouldn't have to do it when i wasn't here) and planned my funeral. Lots of people reading this may not have experienced any such thoughts but i do think a lot of people have similar thoughts and i can just say take one day at a time, write everything down and ask the questions you need answered but because we are all very different nobody can really give you a prognosis, just guidelines based on historical research.
Whitfield, keep posting for support, allow yourself time to discuss / think about treatment and take one day a time.
Take Care Gilly x