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Daily freak out - how will I cope?

8 REPLIES 8
Member

Re: Daily freak out - how will I cope?

Hello Whitfield. I'm a year today since my mastectomy. I still struggle with the whole 'cancer' thing. I have good days and bad days. Bit of a bad couple of days at the moment. These boards are fantastic. No matter what the problem there is someone who has had it and can offer support. Best wishes to you.
Member

Re: Daily freak out - how will I cope?

Hi Melly04

Seems we think the same so we must be normal. How are things for you now?

It's so nice to hear from others as they inspire me. What a great web site but shame we need it.

X
Member

Re: Daily freak out - how will I cope?

Hello Songbird68

What a lovely sign in name. My name is Pam but couldn't get this on the site as someone else has it - hence Whitfield.

I'm feeling a bit better as chemo starts Monday so feel I'm actually now fighting back. Thanks for kind words and I have also thought about funeral stuff and now realise this is normal.

Pam x
Member

Re: Daily freak out - how will I cope?

Hi Busyanne,

Sorry to have taken so long to reply. My head is in a better place now and chemo starts Monday. Getting hair cut off today will be a challenge but I thin it will be better than to have it fall out later. It's a process and finding ones way down their particular road is a challenge that we will do no matter what the outcome will be.

Today is a positive day so far but around 2pm hair cut time it may be more difficult.

Much love to all the people who post on this site. Xx
Member

Re: Daily freak out - how will I cope?

How funny. I thought I was the only one that did a huge spring clean and tided the garden, gave away lots of clothes and didn't think it worth buying myself anything new. I also planned my own funeral. Glad that perhaps I'm not as abnormal as I thought I was! X
Mel
Member

Re: Daily freak out - how will I cope?

Hi I'm a year out from grade 2 multifocal and I still have really down days where everything seems so pointless. I pick myself up by just going through the motions of my daily activities, listening to music. Keeping busy as I can.
You are so newly dx and I am sorry to meet you here. It does get better as gilly and busyann have said. And it's not unusual to "get your affairs in order" as they say.
I even picked out my funeral music! And started to give things away to close family. wish I hadn't now I am a year survived cos that was some nice jewelry that I wouldn't mind wearing!
Having said that, I still can't face cleaning under my bed lol..So, to answer your question, yes it is normal to think you are going to die.
Big hugs:)
x x
Member

Re: Daily freak out - how will I cope?

HI Whitefield, We all struggle with this type of diagnosis and treatment path.  Some people cope better other not so much.  I started off quite positive but once I had my type of cancer I started to read all the horror stories to the extent that I cleaned out my personal belongings and gave away various things, this was to prevent my family having to have a massive clear out when I was dead.  I thought at that point that I would not survive six months, again no real reason for it other than reading all the outdated stuff about Her2 positive breast cancer.  However as treatment progressed and I stayed away from all information pre 2012 I became more positive and am still today.  I take each day as it comes, I enjoy my life and dont let trivial things upset me.  Yes I do worry and I still get wobble days when I can become quite depressed but I pick myself up and tell myself that I have been given the best treatment on offer and have made friends with some ladies who are post 10 years with her2 secondary breast cancer.  So there is light at the end of the tunnel. 

Also when I had my diagnosis after surgery and was referred for bone and ct scan it sent me haywire for a time, but I spoke to my breast care nurses who talked me thourgh all aspects of treatment and learned that everyone who had spread to lymph nodes had scans and really it was a way of knowing exactly what treatment I would need.  Yes it is scary but with the right support and treatment you wil get through it.  Take care, good luck as you start your treatment.

 

Member

Re: Daily freak out - how will I cope?

Dear Whitfield

 

This really is a difficult time for you.  I can bet the people telling you to be positive aren't currently going through treatment for breast cancer.   You really will go through every emotion possible over the next few weeks.

 

There is a thread where people have posted some of the bizarre things friends and family have said, i am sure with the best of intentions. I have been told various things from 'there is always somebody worse of than you'  (trust me on some days i struggled to believe that).  and one really good friend told me not to worry Breast Cancer is like the common cold now........ I hope she never gets this particular cold......    

 

In terms of thinking you may die, everybody has different thoughts but i can tell you i am almost two years on from my original diagnosis.  During this time i have had Neo adjuvant Chemo 6 x FecT, 5 x surgery and 15 sessions of Radiotherapy.  Some days i was able to be positive and on others i had very dark days.  Only now do i see this as a normal response to an abnormal situation. I know you have only just been diagnosed so it's hard to imagine two years down the line when today will seem like a bad dream. 

 

On some of my bad days i cleaned out cupboards / wardrobes (so that my family wouldn't have to do it when i wasn't here) and planned my funeral.  Lots of people reading this may not have experienced any such thoughts but i do think a lot of people have similar thoughts and i can just say take one day at a time, write everything down and ask the questions you need answered but because we are all very different nobody can really give you a prognosis, just guidelines based on historical research.

 

Whitfield, keep posting for support, allow yourself time to discuss / think about treatment and take one day a time.

 

Take Care   Gilly x      

Member

Daily freak out - how will I cope?

Recently dx grade 3, triple node involvement with 31mm lump. I'm struggling with the fail freak outs as I waiting to start treatment. I know this is normal but it's hard. I have great support but feel isolated not knowing my prognosis and what I have read from you lovely ladies is that I'm going to feel this way for a long time.

Next week my scans for bone and CT then hopefully start treatment.

I have alway had very think hair and thinking should I cut before treatment? I'm gong to have chemo - removal and rads.

Any contact with you ladies gives me hope but I'm struggling with "I can beat this attitude" which everyone keeps telling me I should think. Is it normal to think you are going to die?