Darling Rads of August

[missmore]

That's what I am hoping,  its a v low dose and some women say it helps with the hot flashes the tamoxifen gives you

haha every cloud! 

[familytree]

Makes loads of sense Sheena. I'm still hovering whether to take the anti depressant I have..feel like a junkie! But if it shakes this lethargic feeling away then I should get it down me! Scared of side effects lol x

[missmore]

So blondie, someone says you got off lightly? Jeez, how insensitive! 

I took my first anti depressant today,  like you and Maggie until now only ever took the odd painkiller for headache etc

you feel you have turned into someone else sometimes,  not the original you if that makes sense.?

Sheena xx

[Blondie223]

It's all such a minefield of mixed emotions and positive and negative ways of seeing everything, I wish I could switch my thoughts off sometimes, am sure you know that feeling too Maggie.

I'm 45 and have very mixed emotions about the Tamoxifen, on it for five years so feel as though any choices I might have made (albeit a bit late) have been whipped from beneath my feet. Have had health issues before but nothing life threatening, so reading your story re Angina I definitely feel as though I've - touch wood - got off lightly.

I was diagnosed in June too, went to get a thickening checked, that was fine but they found areas that I wouldn't have been able to feel for years apparently, so a lucky find really.

Getting ready to go out now, treating OH to a Thai meal, I've been putting him through hell recently. 

Have a lovely evening, take care, and speak soon xxx

[amberstone]

Hi Blondie  I am not on any meds as I was triple negative and the chemo was withdrawn as more risk to my heart condition than benefit from chemo, I am so glad not got meds as the side effects sound miserable on top of everything else  I thought I might have meds to come during or after rads but they said no- nothing.  But that made me think - mmm are they saying nothing will help, or you are one of the lucky ones, even though they tell me "it was caught early"   its hard to accept that you might just have beat it. I was diagnosed in June after mammogram- never had a shock like it.

I am like you I was pleased that 5 years ago I got to the age I was and never took a tablet only HRT- and was still working at 63yrs I felt about late forties, then Bang- started with Angina (just thought I was getting overweight - too many cholcolates!) then it led to heart bypass everything in the last 5 years has been hospitals/tablets/appointments.   Now this.but we are strong and these things are sent for a reason- to make us stronger but I feel about 90 now but coming on here is a breath of fresh air when some of the ladies get their funny caps on.   take care Maggie XX

[amberstone]

Hi Sheena   I was at the nurse 5 weeks after surgery and as I got upset she sent me through GP and he had a chat with me, I know surgery can lose your sleep pattern  and they say you dont sleep as well as you get older. I thought it would right itself soon.  He said he did not want to give anti-depressents but go back if I wanted to and he offered short term sleeping pills, but they effect me with worse "hangover" headaches next day so refused them, thats only adding to it, so I am just plodding on. 

I have been fighting menopause for 5 years without anything, as I dont think symptoms are bad compared to some ladies, I am only suffering with hot flushes and headaches, only difference is now I have hot flushes anyway and even bigger headaches I dont really believe in herbal/natural remedies.  I just dont look forward to going to bed at moment as I wont sleep.   I have even gone in spare room as I can get up when I want without disturbing my Husband who is up for work at 4am.

 I am on here now and have the most thundering headache, suppose screen not helping 

I am wondering about pain relief for when boob "gets really sore" hopefully it may not be too bad? but I can only take Paracetemol or codiene because of heart condition medications. Bummer really am off now to get paracetemol, I bet we all rattle?? take care Maggie  xx

ps I do have GP appointment before my Review appointment on Monday so may chat again to him.

[Blondie223]

Thanks too Maggie, know what you mean about feeling so vulnerable. I went to Spain for a week's break before rads, anxiety levels peaked, that constant feeling of panic. Spoke to my GP when I got back and have been prescribed anti depressants but am reluctant to take them, think will wait and see how I go having started Tamoxifen and rads now, deal with those side effects first before possibly chucking some more in. I'm in the same position as you, ie no chemo, "got off lightly" as someone I know who has had chemo in the past said to me. Hmmmm, is all relative though, I mean when I think about how relatively carefree I was only a few months ago. 

[Blondie223]

The booklets lie, haha Sheena, thanks for the reassurance that it's not just me! So do you finish rads after three more sessions then? Fab! xxx

[amberstone]

Hi Blondie   I am like you I have only had 3 of 15 and on the 2nd one that evening I had sharp stabbings in my boob, mostly my nipple area, I mentioned this at the 3rd one and they said "oh too early for side effects" usually kicks in end of first week - end of story- but everyone is different.   I am using Aqueous cream morn and night did buy E45 and Aloa-Vera gel from Holland & Barrett as was suggested by someone on here, but have read ladies having problems with E45 and Aloa so sticking to Aqueous.  

I know we should not look for side effects but when we do have a twinge I think we need some acknowledgement that that "twinge" is there and maybe we just need some reassurance as I have never felt so vulnerable even though I have been lucky and only having surgery and rads, other ladies must be going through hell.   anyway I hope you get through rads fine and keep in touch with side effects. Maggie XX

[amberstone]

Funny that Tweasel I have been to our super Tesco and they have rows and rows of tinned chocolates! and he said they are getting Mince Pies in next week.  What!!!  Our lives and days are precious to us now and we dont want it wishing away too quick, let us enjoy what there is of the summer first hey?  take care Maggie xx

[amberstone]

You are so funny Maria     my husband is outside painting bloody fence panels might as well be on my own so to come on here you lot keep me sane and I go downstairs in a better mood

[missmore]

Tweasel!!!? Don't say the C word! Lol
sheena x

[missmore]

Maggie, can you tell gp about insomnia, maybe you need something to help you for a while
sheena x

[amberstone]

Hi Mf    I just dont know what to say to that one, how can you feel what you eat in your scar, wheres your scar?    but this stuff makes up  weired things just to test our sanity Maggie XX

[missmore]

Hi blondie
the booklets lie! I was sore after the second session. At the first review I told them and some folks react straight away. I know lots of folk sail through this part, but for me its horrible. Three days to go next week then I will be able to see a light at the end of the tunnel! was advised to take ibuprofen for the pain and swelling
sheena x

[amberstone]

Bye Sharnie have a great time and relax make it all about you, chat when you back? Maggie XX

[missmore]

Maria,  how odd! I am being super careful with skin and what I eat right now, so it's a mystery but reassuring that someone else reacted as well

sheena x

[Blondie223]

Hi folks, not been around for a while.

Had my second session of fifteen rads yesterday, and although my hospital booklet says I shouldn't feel any side effects until about ten sessions in I had a stinging boob for a while afterwards, hmmm, no redness though?

[Blondie223]

I agree Tweasel, except I'll go one step further - nothing Christmas should be allowed in the shops until after Halloween and Bonfire night, it's wishing the year away. Bah.

[amberstone]

Thanks Jill re-assuring to know that I am one of the club then with a wonkier boob than first thought. 

I couldnt sleep last night, I am so tired by 7pm I doze watching TV but try to keep awake, then get sooooo- bored by 10pm I am off to bed, but usually have few minutes on here then into bed, I was still awake at 1.15am - got up had tea and toast (wold never had done this before this malarky) watched detective programme and went back 2.45am but was awake again 5.50am but I am having weired dreams, bordering on nightmares??? no wonder I am tired today, I might have to join the night owls   take care have a good weekend Maggie xx

[Tweasel]

We've just been to the garden centre, and they are getting ready to open their Christmas department next weekend. It's 28C here and they are busy putting Christmas trees up and building santa's grotto. How depressing is that? Should be illegal to sell anything Christmas related until at least October. Bah humbug xx

[mf]

Hi Maria. Good luck with the raspberries. I think the ops have somehow rewired my tastebuds to my boob!

[familytree]

M.f I will be livid if every time I go the Dr's they say something like 'probably psychological' probably is not good enough when we have been through this. we need reassurance and to be looked after a bit more closely than before.. our lives they are dismissing. I will 'probably' be called a hypochondriac.. so be it! lol x

[Maria_B]

Marcella, , I wonder if I eat raspberries could I grow a replacement nipple? Off to Tesco to buy some...

[Maria_B]

Missmore; YES!!!!!  I developed an allergic reaction on my neck very early on to a sunblock I've used for years, then a week later I developed an allergic rash  on both arms to who knows what.  Had to go to GP for antihistamines because the over the counter ones didn't touch it.  Skin just seems more sensitive in general

[mf]

Hi familytree. I had the dry cough all through rads and have it now. Had severe chest pains after one op but GP said it was probably psychological, though It developed into a horrible virus the next day.

[familytree]

Touch wood I have been lucky on the boob front. No real signs of anything.. I have barely bothered with the creams I bought in bulk. I have even started to use proper deodorant again! Watch this spacewill flare up for being so cocky! lol Has anyone had the dry cough they mentioned? I have! was coughing all night last night... woken up to pains in chest and neck. Oh god when will I relax and believe I'm not riddled with the bloody big C!!! X

[familytree]

Very funny Maria x

[missmore]

Also, quick question,  has anyone else had a skin reaction during rads?  not on the area being treated,  I have got v dry eczema like patches appearing on legs and arms

sheena x

[missmore]

Maria, what a marathon of rads! Make sure you get a handsome young man, I can just imagine you skipping out of the hospital on Monday
sheena x

[missmore]

Sharon, enjoy the holiday and hopefully lots of lovely sleep
sheena xx

[missmore]

Marcella, tell us more about the feeling in the scar, that's really interesting! X

[Jill1998]

Thanks I will get some and give it a go.Marcella,not heard of that before!!!

[missmore]

Hi all

I've read that tea tree and lavender products should be avoided during radiotherapy,  so maybe worth checking out the contents of creams and gels before buying

sheena x

[Jobey68]

Yes jill, got it from Holland &Barratt 99% Aloe Xx

[mf]

Hi Jill. The aloe Vera I use is a gel and it didn't sting me. I've got horribly sensitive skin and can't use the standard creams so I use the gel and an Aveda herbal cream my sister got me. It takes a minute or so for the aloe Vera to sink in. It's great for sunburn too. I got mine at a health food shop. You can also use the plant but it's a bit stickier. One weird thing I've noticed is that I can feel what I eat in my scar - peanuts make it feel salty, curry makes it feel spicy, berries make it feel acidic. Or maybe I've just lost it completely!

[nappinggirl]

Yes, it is a gel called dr. organic aloe vera gel with tea tree oil and arnica, it was recommended by someone on an older thread and has worked for me.  I know that some people are allergic to aloe vera so a patch test is needed.  I tried E45 but that made my boob bright red and very hot!  I was told to moisturise twice a day but I don't know what to use and a bit nervous of trying anything to be honest.

Have a great time Sharnie! x

[Sharnie]

Good morning all! I finally had a nights sleep thanks to my sleeping tablets - feel better already  Sorry to hear about your problems Jill, I didn't have too much heat just pain. I'm still getting pains now but they are not so severe. I just kept dosing myself up with painkillers. I keep my aqueous cream in the fridge which helps with the heat, tried aloe Vera but it really stung so washed it off. I have always used it before with no problems but think my skin was extra sensitive due to rads. 

Got to finish packing today and have a general tidy up. Will need an early night - we leave at 2.30 am - no sleeping tablets tonight!!! Hope you all get on well with rest of your rads. I don't have very good wi-fi where I'm going so might not been checking in for a week. Bye for now 😃

[Jill1998]

Is it a gel?

[nappinggirl]

Couldn't agree more Jobey68, Aloe Vera has certainly worked for me, I've done 15 sessions and my skin is pink but not sore.  I wish there was something for the inside!  They told me to take ibuprofen for the pain, not having much effect though.

Maria_B, I will be thinking of you on Monday, it should be a great relief to finish.  Let us know what happens next! x

[Jobey68]

Aloe Vera stored in the fridge is heaven! Mine wasn't too bad till near the end , we went away for the weekend and my poor boob was on fire but good old auntie Vera soon sorted it out! 

[Jill1998]

Well done Maria nearly the end of the marathon,yes I don't think there will be a lot of interest in my chest after this either ,it definitely is not something to be looked at with the lights on and I've only just started rads!!!Maggie ,yes I thought my boob wasn't too bad after surgery but once swelling went down ooh dear....

[Maria_B]

24 down, one final one on Monday, then I hand back my gown.  This is likely to be the last time a handsome young man takes an interest in my chest. I will savour it....

[amberstone]

Hi Jill  is that first Rads for you? Sorry I cant keep up with everyone, there is so much chat going back and forth, I do apologise.

So you had pains right away,it must be the rads then, why do they try to say "oh its too early"   - they cant do anything about it can they, its not really bad just catches your breath, you  just want reassurance that it is ok instead of worrying about it.  My nipple is still bit blue, looks like a rainbow and surgery area looking like  orange peel now swelling gone down and a funny shape, I didnt think it was bad at first.  Fancy starting first session on a Friday and then two days off?

I didnt have rads today Christies cancelled it they need to tweek my plan so am there on Monday.

I told my Son we could take Logan to Playcentre and have lunch there, but he had had no morning nap, was litterally falling asleep eating his dinner (he had run round so much) we were about to take one of those pictures  well, he started a paddy to get out of the chair to get to his trolly for nap, WOW can he throw the dolly out the pram!!!!  suppose he is in the terrible two's now, we had to make quick exit, disaster of a day I stayed at their home until 4.30pm had to come home was more tired than I would have normally been with him, so could be rads.  well am off to bed now, goodnight  have a good weekend. Maggie XX 

[amberstone]

Hi Nappinggirl   thanks for the reply.  I am going to wait until Monday and ask them to explain what they saw. But my appoint. is a 2pm one and that means you see the Specialist for a review maybe she will explain anyway. So you can see screens from the bed?   I cant, they leave the room and go down a corridor to watch screens, I can just catch a reflection of my boob in the machine as it goes over to the left side. 

I think someone on here asked the Radiographer for a picture of their boob? to show where the beam is actually hitting, and they gave her one, after all it is OUR body we have a right to see/know whats happening to it.  take care  Maggie XX

[Jill1998]

Maggie I had first session today and I had pains around nipple all afternoon.

[amberstone]

Hi everyone  since started rads no s/e noticed but after 2nd felt sharp stabbing pains right through nipple area, but did have stabbing pains after surgery.  I told radiologist and she said to early for s/e from rads must be still from surgery/healing.  Anyone else had this.  Enjoy weekend everyone as best you can. Maggie XX

[Jill1998]

Yes ,I will try that,already taking it sometimes for joint pain caused by Tfen!!Ironic that I had no pain or symptoms before diagnosis now after treatment have a wide variety ....but at least there is a better chance the bugger won't kill me! !!!!!

[missmore]

Jill take the ibuprofen 4x a day and top up with paracetamol in between x text me if you want xx

[Jill1998]

Yes, I'm thinking I may have similar experience Sheena,Solid, hot boob not good... you poor thing ....I am a bit freaked by the amount of heat!!