December Angels 2013

[Kaz16]

Hello everyone
Petal I do hope that all the advice has helped. We all respond to what we are going through in different ways and I think to share your feelings of anxiety is a really good thing to do . It is very hard to go,through this without a partner/ husband , I am divorced and also feel very alone and over whelmed at times.
I am having my first FEC tomorrow and know that I am feeling very sensitive, the receptionist in the chemo day unit at my hospital is so rude to everyone , I asked politely to make an appointment for a routine flush and the person concerned snapped "I am too busy to do that " .I am so worried about chemo tomorrow I almost walked out never to return. But I suppose I will turn up tomorrow....... I am only JUST a December Angel as my chemo was cancelled on the 11th due to,an infected seroma. It is still very large (keeps filling up again after drainage ) and the oncologist still Isn't very happy but wants to go ahead but will give me antibiotics to self inject - oh Joy !
Don't think my New Years Eve is going to be the best and I am trying to drink lots of water in preparation for tomorrow's chemo interspersed with left over After Eights and Quality Street (don't think that's on the top 10 tips!)
Love to all The Angels and Happy New Year, I wish it was 2015 but we will all get through 2014 together, which is simply going to be my New Years Resolution. Love K

[Ro21]

Oh Petal, I just want to reach out n give up a great big hug, there is no way you are a wimp!!!! Can't give u any better advice than the posts from Sue, Tracy, Setareh and Vickie they're spot on & I hope it helps to learn other people have similar experiences.

Listen to your body & take it easy, the helplines, GP's and chemo nurses are all here to help us, never feel shy of asking for help, we need to do whatever it takes to get through this journey. Hope u feel better soon x

[Guest user]

Hey Petal

I think we all feel like wimps at times...I get told off for saying that and am told its brave instead 🙂 Palpitations are temporary remember and big breath up through your nose and out your mouth sitting quietly will make them pass. I have a minor underlying heart issue which effects my heart rate and I know the scariness of them, so far FEC hasn't effected it by I know it may come but just know it will pass too. I'm no doctor so trust your instinct and stay calm and well. Maybe give the helpline a call too, I know they are open today albeit shorter hours I think.

Wishing you calmness amongst this craziness were in

V xx

[setareh]

Hi Petal, so sorry to hear you're feeling like that. I felt the same when I heard I had cancer and the fear of unknown and the waiting time caused me a lot of stress but once I started my treatment I feel less stressed. I live on my own and haven't told my family because my mum is old and is suffering from asthma and high blood preasure but I have a few good friends who are helping me and encouraging me to be positive. If I feel stressed again I'm going to see my GP. Please take care, you're in good hands and I'm sure your medical team are looking after you. Don't be affraid to call them.  hope things getting easier. Thinking of you

Much love

[Tracy1967]

Petal88 I also had those feeling with FEC 2 and I'm pretty sure they're anxiety attacks. It's when we think about how we're breathing, how our hearts beating because we're looking for side effects which aren't there. Took time but I've managed to calm myself down using mindfulness which is a little like CBT. It's about letting the thoughts enter but then letting them flow out without confronting them because that's all they are - thoughts. If someone had told me 6 months ago I'd have anxiety I'd have thought they were mad but were only human and this will pass.

XXX

[SJB]

Petal88, I was a mess waiting for my diagnosis, and when i first got it (3 weeks ago) - if you don't believe me, go check my opening posts in the new members section.

You're having panic attacks, which is perfectly natural. I strongly suggest you talk to your GP about going on anti-depressants. They don't just help depression - they stop anxiety and panic attacks too. I went straight on them, and after a week or so they kicked in. It makes it so much easier to cope. Please do as I say. I'm only on 10mg of citalapram a day, but it has made such a difference. x

[Jo_BCC]

Hi Petal88

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling this way.  Our helpline is open again now if you would like to give them a call and have a chat about how you are feeling, they're here to support you through this.  Calls are free, 0808 800 6000.  The opening times for the helpline for the next few days is below.

Monday 30 December 9am–5pm,

Tuesday 31 December 2013 9am–2pm

Normal opening hours resume on Thursday 2 January 2014 (Monday–Friday 9am–5pm and Saturday 10am–2pm.)

Take care,

Jo, Moderator

[Petal88]

Please can anyone help with positive thoughts on how to cope with feelings of panic? I keep getting palpitations and am breathless going upstairs and I don't know if I am bringing it on myself through worry or if it is a normal side effect and I have to deal with it. I try controlled breathing and calming thoughts but it is difficult when I am on my own (my husband died in January). I have had lots of support from family but I know I have to be able to get through this and I feel such a wimp.
Lots of you seem to be on FEC and I don't know if the side effects are different as I am on TCH. Anybody else out there the same as me? You all seem so brave and I am already nervous about the next session. Are you all coping ok? It helps to just write this down. Thanks for being there.

[Ro21]

So glad you're home & ok Sue, you're so right we mustn't ignore things & just get on with it anymore, we need to put ourselves 1st n ask for help even tho it's hard to do. These things can come on so fast.

Hope your ok now Tracy it's scary isn't it to think u can feel ok but not be!

Barbie n Wyn n jonamo glad to hear your all doing ok, I'm like u ok with little nausea but been quite tired today ( FEC-T # 2 day 6) .

Noticed a difference when missed my arm exercises, need to get back into my morning routine of exercise n massage don't want the swelling to get any worse........

Love n hugs to you all, x

[Jonamo]

Hi, had FEC #2 yesterday. Also had Emend and so far so good. Feel really really tired with no energy but managing to eat so that's good. Well done on going out with dogs this morning...no way I could!
A x

[Barbie40]

Hi

Had my 2nd fec yesterday and feel fine. Was prescribed emend this time n I've had only mild nausea last night. I've even been to the beach this morning with the dogs!!

Wyn I'm pleased your feeling ok after your 2nd session too.

SJB relieved your home n feeling better.

Good luck to those of you having your 2nd fec next week, I think its easier wen you kno what to expect

X

[Tracy1967]

SJB you're so right about watching yourself, well done for acting so fast and sorting yourself out. I wasn't as lucky as you, they kept me on IV abs for 3 days but actually felt fine all the time. Listen to your bodies ladies and don't snuggle down in the duvet if you get the shivers like we normally would, check temperature and be vigilant.

[wyn]

hi everyone

hope you all had a merry christmas

SJB sorry you were unwell, hope the antibiotics kick in and you are feeling better soon,

Had my 2nd fec yesterday and so far so good, just slight nausea with a headache, hope everyone else who had chemo yesterday is feeling ok as well.

hugs

Wyn x

[SJB]

Although I had been feeling good since the weekend, I suddenly started feeling ill yesterday evening (Boxing Day). Body aches, headache, hot with shivers - temperature was suddenly 38.2. So I rang the chemo emergency helpline number and then found myself rushing to hospital. I was only there for almost 24 hours, but they gave me intravenous antibiotics and put me on a saline drip, then today sent me home with oral antibiotics. They don't know what it was, but I had an infenction, which I could not fight. I have just started getting a few mouth ulcers, and they said it might have even been those that did it.

An oncologist popped in to see me and said I had done everything absolutely right. I just thought I'd let you all know - you really need to be vigilant of your condition. Do not go to bed feeling ill, thinking you'll feel better in the morning. It doesn't work like that now. x

[setareh]

Hi everyone, Merry Christmas! Lots of love and best wishes for 2014!!!

I'm still recovering from first chemo. My next one is 2nd Jan

[Ro21]

Hope everyone who had chemo today is feeling ok, merry Xmas to you all x

[Petal88]

Happy Christmas everyone!

[Jonamo]

Merry Christmas Angels! Hope you all have a fab day.
A xx

[Barbie40]

Hi jonamo

I had 2 lymphnodes affected, that must be why I've not had any further tests. Thanks

Think I'm just getting paranoid now.

X

[Jonamo]

Only had CT and bone scan because I had 5 lymph nodes with cancer, my hospital scans if more than 3 lymph nodes are involved. If 3 or less, it is unlikely that the cancer has spread further. If you have more than 3 they can't stage you until they know for sure if it has spread further or not.
Xx

[Barbie40]

Hi fellow angels

I've noticed a lot of you saying you've had bone and CT scans to rule out further spread of C. Does everyone have these tests and usually when are they done as I have not had a single one and am a bit paranoid incase they miss anything?

X

[Jonamo]

Brilliant news Denise!
Have a very Happy Christmas everyone!
A xx

[Joanne1973]

Oh and petal88 that's fantastic news about your scan Xx

[Joanne1973]

Denise, that's great news, what a great Christmas present for you! What's the plan for you now then? Hope the collar bone soon heals 🙂

Petal88 sorry you having been feeling ill and anxious for next cycle.  Just take each day as it comes and definitely only think a cycle at a time.  Hope you manage to have a peaceful Christmas.

Bellablue 1 Jac, so glad you are feeling better 🙂

I hope each and every one of you lovely inspirational ladies manages to have the best Christmas you possibly can.  It all feels very different for each of us this year as we are on our own difficult journeys. But I hope you all manage to keep well, keep drinking-water or wine whatever takes your fancy-and keep wiping those runny noses! 😉

Love Joanne xxx

[Petal88]

Btw, is day one the day of chemo or the next day?

[Petal88]

SJB you are an inspiration, how nice and normal to go to the pub. I have been in a horrible state the last few days and had a night in hospital but am back home trying to cope again. I am sensitive to lot of meds and unfortunately the things I'm on now all make me feel ill even though I am apparently tolerating the chemo ok! At first I thought it was all in my mind and I had to get a grip but with tight chest and clammy hands and feet and racing heart I was advised to stay in hospital. I eventually came down once some of the meds stopped and now I have a few more on my allergy list. I am desperately trying calming breathing exercises and reading up on how to relax but the thought of next session petrifies me. I know I have to find strength and I really appreciate this forum and the positive thoughts, and it even helps to know others struggle and find help here, too. Thanks to whoever posted about runny nose as mine is all the time and at least I'm not paranoid thinking I've caught a cold!
I had a call from a really lovely community cancer nurse and she is to come and see me next week. She has given me helpful info and I hope everyone realises there is a lot of help out there if it is needed.
Ending on a positive, I had the good news that my scan shows the cancer has not spread beyond under my arm so that is the best Christmas present ever.
I'll be thinking of everyone. Have a lovely time as far as you can and don't worry about what you can't get done, just let it all go on around you!

[Bellablue1]

Good morning Ladies

To date I am on Day 7 FEC 1 and feeling a lot better. I now have a bit of an appetite, but finding sleeping difficult as I keep waking and imaginig that I am still having the chemo administered!

I keep checking my hair but all there so far. I do plan in the next week or so to get it cropped really short in readiness for the evitable.

I am wishing you and your families a happy Xmas and hope all the special ladies on this forum get through the coming months together.
Luv n hugs Jacxxxx

[Tadpole]

Well, apparently I don't need chemo, test results for optima prelim back last week. Been rather overwhelming

Experience, had a difficult few days, one broken collar bone, and short stay in Wesh hospital seems to have
Helped me understand the complex world of a woman's life. I also think we are the most supportive team possible, let's hope the future is brighter for everyone this Christmas. If tests, treatment and support
Could help all those with cancer, and dispel inequality together, everyone could lead better lives.
Happy christmas to you all, God bless, Denise

[Barbie40]

Hi guys

After an emotional weekend watching my hair fall out I finally got the clippers out this morning n shaved it all off on no.4. My head is a bit chilly but otherwise I feel much better.

I hope everyone has a lovely Christmas xx

[wyn]

hi everyone,

Sarahmummy I found breaking the news to first members of family very upsetting and that obviously made them feel uncomfortable because they didn't know how to react,however  i have since been more positive when talking about it  and they are much more relaxed and supportive.

Jonamo it takes a bit of getting used to when you shave hair off,i find looking in the mirror first thing in the morning the worst but when i apply make up and headgear i feel so much better and stronger and feel i can face another day. hope all goes well for 2nd chemo on 27th (same as me). going to hosp tomorrow to have bloods checked prior to chemo so hoping it goes ahead then that will be a third of treatment under our belts.woohoo.

Hope everyone has a lovely christmas

Wyn x

[SJB]

Sarah, you ask how people have coped with family and friends - well, I just made it public so as many people knew as possible, and so far, that has been amazing. Everyone has been relaxed in my company and we have a laugh every time i see them. People generally reflect back what they see in you. If you are scared and shy to talk about it, so will they be. I have been upfront and confident when talking about it. Even discussed chemotherapy in a packed pub earlier, with loads of people listening!

[Sarahmummy]

Hello all, I had my first FEC-t on 12th so building myself up for number 2 on 2nd jan. jonamo - felt for you hearing about your decision on your hair, you are a week ahead of me and I know it's coming for me and my next hurdle. I look normal now for my kids but now it's going to change and I must must get my head around it. I have been ok last few days and my post 10 day bloods were the right blood cell count so I have no appointments now till I see my doctor before next chemo. Feel tied, headaches, runny nose (Thankyou ladies as I was wondering why but now realise it may be a symptom) but get this second wind at night and can't sleep. Met a couple family members this weekend and clearly they were uncomfy in my company. How are you ladies managing family and friend interactions? Told my children now and my son who is 13 is now relaxed with it. Had a bumpy few days but a visit to the chemo nit and then a chat over a very large macdonalds meal did the trick. Good luck to you all and here's to chemo number 2 in a week or so. I do appreciate all your honest insights into your experiences so Thankyou . Sarah x

[Jonamo]

Decided that today was the day to shave most my hair off...fed up of finding hairs everywhere, so my husband got the clippers out. I've left about a cm as my scalp is quite sensitive...not the greatest of looks but will just wear hats and scarves from now on. Shed a few tears beforehand but ok now. What's done is done.
A xx

[Jonamo]

Thanks Tracy, glad to hear the Emend worked, have been prescribed it for next week, so hopefully I will benefit too.
A x

[SJB]

Oh that's a relief, thanks. I'm trying to take it all in.

Don't feel too bad today at all. I just went outside and moved the car, so that's good.

[Joanne1973]

SJB I had said that the tiredness can be cumulative over the course of the cycles, so you can feel more tired on the last cycle than on the first, not that it increases during the first.

I'm day 9 now and feel pretty much back to normal. A little more tired than usual. No nausea, appetite fine though feel full quicker.  Heartburn after eating my main meal. Still have that mild headache though but probably need to drink more. And my nose will not stop running! Must have very little mucous membranes left up there!

Good luck to all you lovely ladies facing chemo this week, sending you a virtual hug through the ether 

XxXX

[Lilyboo]

Hi I had FEC1 on the 12th Dec, and have to say the lack of sleep has been awful, that and the very hyper feeling my mind racing but unable to concentrate. I did go to my GP yesterday and got some sleeping tablets and stronger headache pills, have to say although I feel a bit leaden this morning I feel so much calmer. Other than this problem I feel fine. Hope you can sort the sleeping out I know how desperate I was beginning to feel x

[Tracy1967]

Hi A, I was given the Emend before FEC 2 and so far it's worked wonders for me. I had no sickness or nausea in the AM, also slept most of the night ( woke a few times). I've had breakfast this morning and will take 1 Emend today and tomorrow when hopefully things will start picking up. Many hospitals don't give Emend unless you have serious sickness after chemo, I'd definitely ask for this and give it a go.

Marion Im on the November newbies thread but I totally understand how you feel re hospital, I developed neutropenia sepis on day 14 of first FEC ( both children and hubbie came down with flu virus on my lowest week - typical) so I was isolated and put on IV antibiotics which helped bloods raise again. My dose has been reduced now to stop the neutropenia. When they give you 100% chemo they guess your 100% given your weight and height, what they don't know is how dense your body is so there's a 25% threshold so they can reduce your dose and you still get the full benefits of chemo without the neutrophils hitting rock bottom. My oncologist has also given me antibiotics to take on day 8 as a precaution .

I hope everyones 2nd chemo goes ok, remember if you're having a rough time make sure your oncologist knows ahead of 2nd chemo as you shouldn't have to suffer in silence, it's early days and they need to find the meds which suit you. Emend has definitely made a big difference for me.

Good luck ladies and merry christmas to you all

Tracy XXX

[wyn]

Hi everyone,

Barbie, i know what you mean by feeling emotional, the more that came out the more upset i was becoming and it felt as though someone was pulling my hair out (weird) so i bit the bullet and had it shaved off and feel much better for it,( no going back) lol. good thing is we are in the midst of winter so can cover up easily without too much attention.

Jonamo, i am not a member of facebook and wouldnt know where to start lol so i am happy to stay on here.I find the steroids given at chemo had been keeping me awake and if i sleep for a short time during the day i end up pacing the floors during the night.

Hugs

Wyn x 

[SJB]

Who said the tiredness increases during the cycle? I was hoping to get back to some sort of normality soon. I still haven't been sick at all, but am not really sleeping, and have so little energy. It's horrible.

I went out yesterday lunchtime (day 4) just across the road to my local pub. I sat at the bar, chatted to friends, and had a few J2O's to keep my fluids up. Only there for an hour and a half, but it felt great to feel a bit normal for a while.

Hubby and I are meant to be going to the pub for a Christmas meal on christmas Eve. i'm hoping to have a half sensible appetite by then, but still can't tell. I just nibble like a fish at the mo, no real appetite at all...should be the best diet ever!

[Jonamo]

Hi Tracy, will keep my fingers crossed for you this time around. Did you get prescribed Emend for the sickness?
A x

[Jonamo]

Hi Wyn, welcome. You and I are on exactly the same days, had 1st on the 4th and having second next Friday 27th. Also on FEC-T. My hair is coming out too, but had it cut short a few weeks ago, which means at the mo it's not so noticeable, but think I will shave it in next couple of days. I was very sick for first few days, and have been prescribed Emend for next week to help. Other than big tiredness I have been fine since. We have a Facebook page running as well, so if you would like to join then private message SJB and she will invite you to join. Good luck with everything.
A x

[Barbie40]

Welcome wyn
I am at the same stage as you. Had my first fec-t on 6th dec next one is 27th. My hair started yesterday but coming out faster today. My OH has offered to shave it off so thinking about doing it in the morning. Very emotional at the moment as everywhere I look there are hairs.

Do you feel better having shaved yours off?

X

[wyn]

Hi everyone,

Can I please join your thread. I was diagnosed as triple negative on 7th Nov and started Fec-T on 4th dec. (3Fec + 3 Decoxatel). My plan is chemo first then surgery then radiotherapy. had SLNB on 9th dec and got good news yesterday stating they were clear.

My side effects from first chemo was not too bad really just slight feeling of sickness and steroids kept me awake for over a week. My hair started coming out in clumps yesterday so got OH to use clippers on it tonight as i felt i was starting to look really ill with strands of hair all over the place,( previously shoulder length) and i now feel better for it, just need to use hats and scarves meantime as wig ordered but will not arrive until after new year. Next chemo 27th Dec and will need to drink more water as nurse found it difficult to get a vein for cannula last time  so she said i hadn't drank enough fluid.

You are all doing so well on this journey and keep positive.

Hugs

Wyn x

[Tracy1967]

Glad you're feeling ok A other than the tiredness. I'd still mention this when you're at the hospital just to be on the safe side. Bloods are back to normal for me now and had FEC 2 today - so far so good.

Take care December angels

Tracy XXX

[mazbee]

Hello everyone,

I'm feeling much better today (day8) I'm back on the medication and just waiting for a phone call from Dr to get more to last especially over Christmas but also till my next treatment in the new year. 

I got my wig today, really like it although as I have so much hair at the moment I have to go back for another fitting and trimming when I've lost most of it.  I'm feeling really tired as I didn't sleep well but that's ok I'm pretty upbeat now.  What a rollercoaster this is!  I have to remember to have my tablet before food and as I'm eating pretty eratically, just when I feel like it, I keep forgetting.  Had sandwiches for lunch and a yoghurt which was ok.  I'm normally a real chocoholic and ate a kit kat and have felt sickley since that and the funny taste is back. It won't do me any harm to cut out the chocolate! 

The doc has just rung and prescribed me 2 months of domperidone so I'm hopeful I'll be ok now  ...till the next time.

Yes I agree one step at a time and this first time is a learning curve to see what happens. 

Hope the rest of you get this sickness thing sorted.

love to you all

Maz

[SJB]

hello everyone. yesterday was just a blur. fatigue! I've got up today but feel so achy and drained. no sickness yet, just feel like I 'm dead on my feet.

[Kaz16]

Hello Everyone
I know what you mean about not sleeping Lily bou and I haven't even started chemo yet ! I haven't posted for a while but I have been reading all your up dates , everyone is coping so well . My chemotherapy was suppose to happen on the 11th Dec but it was postponed for a week due to an infection so,it will now go,ahead on Dec 31st , great New Years Eve. I am only just a December Angel.......well done and keep going every one.

Nd

[Lilyboo]

Hi everybody,

I had my 1st FEC chemo on 12th, next on the 2nd Jan, I am definitely working on 1 at a time, during the 1st 4 days I really couldn't bare the thought of going through it all again, but since then things have improved so much apart from I can't sleep and headaches, I feel like a walking zombie through lack of sleep, I almost pass out by 9pm then wide awake again by 1am and that's it, just can't sleep, my brain seems hyper active, but no concentration, every night the same, and makes me pretty stupid during the day, think I will have to see if I can get any medication.

I tell you what though you are all inspirational, in the depths of the night I don't feel alone and I feel I can tolerate this, and there is an end in sight, and Im so pleased I am going through this at this time of year, its comforting to think somehow, come the spring we will all be well on our way to normal lives again.

I had the cold cap, but too early to tell I guess if its working or not, all hair currently where its meant to be, well what's left of it , I had it cut very short, and it seems to have a mind of its own and sticks up on end, look as if Iv had a nasty shock!!

Feel for you all x

[Jonamo]

Hi Joanne1973, Next cycle should be Xmas day, but delayed to 27th, so I can enjoy Christmas and Boxing Day. Had a prosthesis fitting today but they didn't have my size! Got one on order, but she let me borrow one that was nearly right, so it's a bit better than my softie! X