Delayed Reconstruction

[riversidedawn]

Hi JellyJem

Amazing job losing 4 stone! That's fantastic.

I had immediate implant reconstruction in September 2014 then had DIEP in September 2017. It's a big op and the first week or so you wonder why on earth you've done it, but then the recovery happens pretty quickly. 

Let me know if you have any specific questions either on here on pm me. xxx

[jellyjem]

Hi, I'm a bit late to join the party but hoping someone will be able to help me with information for delayed recon.  I am two years on from my left side only mastectomy and I will hopefully be able to go on the waiting list for a DIEP flap recon once I have lost 20 lbs (so far I've lost over 4 stone).   

I can't live with myself long term with only one breast and I'm hoping the recon will help me feel like "me" again.  

[Ms Merton]

DIEP is an amazing operation.  Obvious big downside is the long tummy scar and the op will leave you in pain for a week or so with a few weeks recovery and 3 months for total recovery. But the result is a natural feeling breast, soft and squidgy and all you. You can lie on your tummy no problem. There is no "weight" to carry etc. It is also a permanent solution once finished.  I am told that the recon should change size like a normal breast if you gain or lose weight. Hope that helps. Good luck whatever you choose. Xx  

[riversidedawn]

Well a little over a year on and still not happy with reconstruction- I've put on two stone since diagnosis so that hasn't helped as natural boob has got bigger and falsie stayed the same. Still very lumpy and bumpy. Nipple tattoo has helped me psychologically. I have an appointment to see plastic surgeon next month to discuss my options. I am now considering a DIEP as I've put on enough weight round the middle! Didn't have any belly fat before and during treatment.

My friend with the LD and implants still looks amazing and even better now she had had a nipple made. Again something I can have as skin over my implant is very thin from the ops and rads.

Good luck with your research into the best option for you.

[JSA]

Sorry, I haven't -- am still flat on one side. Not fat enough for tummy option (I've tried eating more!). Hope you get some good responses 🙂

[Melanie8]

Thanks ladies. How are you all doing now? I am considering reconstruction. I think I have enough fat for the take from tummy option. Any stories?

[JSA]

Definitely not boring! Sorry to read about the haematoma and I hope you are out soon. (I don't mind the boredom of hospital but I do mind the endless & unnecessary racket -- I always take earplugs but still sleep badly.) Surprised to read that your friend was so active so soon after the LD flap as I always thought that operation sounded like a big deal.

I hope you heal well and that you'll be reasonably happy with the result when naked.

[riversidedawn]

Hi, yes it was done on Tuesday, still in hospital as still got drain in and surgeon doesn't want me going home with drain because of previous complications. Unfortunately I got a hematoma on the top half of implant side on Wednesday. Luckily surgeon came to see me in the evening and after investigating with ultrasound confirmed that it couldn't be drained off so went back into theatre to undo her work, remove the clot then reinsert the implant. Hence it's all a bit swollen and mis-shaped.

She came in yesterday again and has taped the top of my boob with compression tape to reduce swelling and redirect any fluid to the drain.

The uplift side looks perky, more bruised than I thought it would be but not sore.

My friend who had the LD flap had implants inserted into bad side and other side a couple of weeks before me. They look absolutely fab, she came out of hospital the same day and was driving and mucking out horses the next day!!

I was hoping mine would look like hers but they don't and I'm a bit disappointed. But my surgeon is happy with the result and confident that it will look good when swelling and bruising settle down. I've just got to behave myself and not overdo it to allow everything to fall into place.

I'm not convinced I'll ever be happy with it naked, but I can see that there should be better symmetry when clothed. I'm 49 next week, got 2 kids so not exactly going to be strutting my stuff as a topless model! I'm very active so this is a better option for me than an external prosthetic.

Sorry for the waffle, hospital is boring!! Hope my ramblings are useful to someone xx

[JSA]

Hello, Riversidedawn.

How have you been since your surgery to replace the expander and have the uplift? You probably can't type at the moment...
Personally I haven't had rads but I think you were asking Sharon. - Judith

[riversidedawn]

I've had an expander in since last may - put in between chemo and rads. Booked in to have it replaced plus uplift on good side tomorrow.

Excited but nervous as suffered with infections after mx and immediate recon.

You don't mention if you've had rads? My friend was told she couldn't have an expander in irradiated skin as it won't stretch so she had to go for LD flap.

[Scooby0871]

That's my aim as well. To be relatively happy when I look at myself naked. I am 34DD on my natural side. I would guess my new boob is a B cup.  I had no qualms about going smaller. Size has never bothered me, I just want two again! Not sure if you are in the same position as me and would need an expander in first, but your size you end up with depends on how much your skin can stretch in the first place. 

I haven't been in a great place mentally since my mastectomy but finally feel I am getting there with my new boob so there is hope! x

[JSA]

Thanks, Sharon: That's really helpful 🙂 As you are just a few years younger than me, you're probably similarly droopy on your 'real' side. My aim is to look OK-ish when I see myself in the mirror while dressing & undressing, not to wow the general public with a pert cleavage on display: I've never been one for low-cut tops (not that there's anything wrong with them, they're just not me).

May I ask what size you are? I am a 32D -- so large, droopy breast but narrow ribcage. I don't want to look all porn-star (not that I've seen much porn!) I'd be happy to go down a cup size.

I think once I've had the follow-up appointment to my recent uterine re-suspension (which may not have worked...) then I think I'll ask about breast reconstruction. Thanks again!

[Scooby0871]

Hi Judith

i am just in the middle of my reconstruction, having taken three years to come to the decision! Like you, my only option was implant and whilst I wasn't sure about this I must say I am very pleased with it. I am now three weeks post the implant going in and I love my new little boob! It is actually quite realistic in shape although obviously harder than a natural boob but not 'rock hard'. The process isn't easy. I had to have an expander in first, which needed to be pumped up weekly then left for a couple of months before the implant could be fitted. Like you, I have also got to have an uplift and reduction on my other side, in a couple of months, but I am trying to look at this positively.....I will have a perkier boob and it will mean I can buy nice under wear again as I won't need to wear a mastectomy bra anymore. It is a long process but I am glad I've made the decision to go ahead.  I am 45 so we are similar in age so hope that my thoughts help you a little. It is a hard decision to come to and only you can make it but I, personally, just couldn't live with myself with one boob.

Take care

sharon xx

[JSA]

I am also thinking of having a reconstruction, five years after my unilateral mastectomy. Unfortunately, I can't have the method where they use your own flesh as apparently I am not fat enough (which surprised me). I could have the Tram Flap but dislike the idea of having a muscle moved.  So really, an implant alone is the only option -- but then it wouldn't look natural (I am 51) and my healthy breast would need a lot of hacking and lifting.

I've been to talk to the plastic surgeon twice over the 5 years since my mastectomy but just go round in circles. I've looked at Boudicca Within, it's a great book, but I still can't decide.

The reason this has become more of an issue is that I have pelvic prolapse, so I just don't feel like a woman any more -- I don't feel like me.

- Judith

[Cag]

Hi,

It is a huge decision.  You take your time.  Try not to let your emotions and thoughts consume you, what I did may help you, on a piece of paper I put two columns titled pro's and con's of having/not having reconstruction, and did the same for the types of reconstruction I could have.  I filled out the columns based on how I felt and found both exercises quite useful as they helped me work out what was important to me.

Thinking of you x

[Scooby0871]

Thank you for taking the time to add that Cag, appreciate it.  I am in turmoil at the moment with my emotions, what to do, what not to do. Have the couple of books that were suggested.  Not read Boudicca yet but had a quick look and the reconstructions look fabulous. Just such a huge decision to make isn't it x

[Cag]

Hi again

When I had my op the other week I felt ready inside, I felt I needed to do this to be able to get on with my life.  After I had the op I revaluated that decision and thought did I do the right thing, but I can honestly say that thought was only because I felt so ill with nausia after the op and the couple of problems I had with the wound had gotten me down.  It will be 3 weeks tomorrow since my operation and I now that I'm over the nausia and my wound is healing properly I feel good again.  I put a dress on yesterday and was so pleased to see a balanced top half.  It isn't just how I looked when I saw myself it was also how I felt knowing that they are my breasts. Maybe that is acceptance. Time will tell.

All the best with your decision.  xx

[Jo_BCC]

Hi Scooby

To help you along I have put for you below the link to one of BCC's publications you might find helpful

http://www2.breastcancercare.org.uk/publications/moving-forward/moving-forward-support-you-after-tre...

Take care,

Jo, Moderator

[Scooby0871]

Thank you for that Caroline.  That is what I am struggling with - accepting myself and I just don't know which way to turn with it.  Good luck with your recovery xx

[Cag]

Hi

I had my reconstruction 16 days ago. I had DIEP not implants and I know this isn't what you are considering for yourself, but I thought I would just write to say that which ever reconstruction you go for the important thing is being positive and getting your head round what the end results will be and being able to accept this is now you.  I'm not saying this lightly at all, but I think the first problem is how we look to ourselves and others, and then it is very much how we feel about ourselves inside and out.  I can relate to feeling as though my life was on hold and that I couldn't fully get over having cancer until I had had reconstruction and looked relatively normal again. 

We know we miss our real boob (s) and for me I have lost both but having two now very small breasts for me is better than one as this made me feel unfeminine and odd. I would like to have kept the one I opted to remove but I was too scared of getting cancer again so on balance I was prepared to let it go.

I have lost myself a little but now it is up to me to get my head on straight and be glad that I'm still here. It is early days for me and the operation was a huge one, and so far I've had 2 further minor ops for problems that occurred so I have someway to go before I feel better.

So the message is about acceptance and being ready to go through reconstructive surgery.  Make sure you feel mentally and physically ready to have the operation and then you'll be much better equiped to recover and be full of positivity.

Good luck, Caroline

[NAZ]

Great, no worries xxx Hope you find it useful. There are loads of ladies who  have had different recons, some complete with nipple and some with not, but well worth a read of their stories .

[Scooby0871]

Thanks Naz, just ordered it off Amazon though xx

[NAZ]

Scooby, i have the book, it is called the Boudica Within. If you want to look at it, i am more than happy to send it to you (PM me for details ) if you like.

NAZXXX

[Scooby0871]

Thank you both Grumpy & Yvie for your replies.  Definitely going to look for the book and your thoughts are very helpful Yvie.  The trouble is whatever we do isn't going to be an instant answer is it and I think that is what we (well me anyway) all want.  Nothing is going to be the same again or match our remaining boob and am I better off the way I am or giving recon. a go I just don't know.

[Yvie178]

Hi Scooby
Almost replied yesterday but felt I might put you off, however I will begin with the positives! I look normal in clothes and can wear most of what I used to wear, cannot wear underwired bras but have found mesh soft cup bras most comfortable. Am 4 months post op this week but still have pains - stabbing and pulling mainly. My recon was immediate implant with strattice and my scar is across the middle of the boob to the nipple which was removed, like you I did not have enough tissue for any of the other options though they could have done the ld with implant but I didn't want even more scars etc. at first and for a good couple of months it felt like a bowling ball strapped to my chest and it was painful, took max pain relief for 3 months. It's numb - like your face after dental treatment. I still wear cropped bra top to bed as I have pulling pains if I sleep on side. However despite all the above I do not regret the recon though I wish they were more upfront about how it feels and pain etc. I have nipple sharing and breast lift to good boob to come end august and am hoping that will help. Because I am reasonably slim I have dents above recon and the implant is palpable. The surgeon is going to try some lipo on the dents, these bother me a great deal, I hope that helps .

[grumpy]

There is a useful book Boudicca Revealed ( I think) showing ladies with recons standing naked, scarred and proud. Your clinic may have a copy, or you can get it from Amazon. The photos may be helpful....

Love

Grumpy

[Scooby0871]

It is so good to know I am not on my own the way I feel. How you describe things is just how I would say it Naz. Thx. Lord knows what decision I will come to. I Just want my boob back! xx

[NAZ]

I hear you and I appreciate your dilemma. I felt my life was on hold until I was 'done' but then I would not or could not accept it, BUT that is me and I know many ladies are far more accepting of their new look. For me it was also other people's assumptions that because I had had a recon, I was fixedin some way. The reality couldn't have been further from the truth, I wanted to rip out the implant many a time and remind people WHY I had to have the surgery in first place and because I had put myself through hours of surgery time, it must be because I wanted it. True to a degree , but I craved a ' normal' symmetrical body and recon for me was the best compromise.
Talk to as many recon ladies as you can Scooby, because I fear may have put you off! But it isn't easy and sometimes you just need to take some extra time to think and talk and think again xxxxx

[Scooby0871]

Thanks Naz, for those wise words.  I understand what you are saying completely.  I am ok whilst dressed with my prothesis so if I am not happy with the recon. will I actually be any better off.  It would be nice to be able to wear strappy tops, v neck t-shirts etc. without worrying but if I am just the same with my clothes off I am not sure if it is right for me and the thought of more operations does not help.  I think I am grasping at straws if I am totally honest because I feel, and I am sure everyone else on this site does, that my life has been on hold since diagnosis.  I want my life back but don't know how to do it.  So I am just unsure what to do.  I go back in August for another check so may book in with the breast care nurse at the same time to have a chat with them.

[NAZ]

Hi lovely Scooby

It can be a difficut decision to decide whether to reconstruct or not.

I had an LD reconstruction back in 2011 (tissue expander first time round), muscle taken from my back and brought round. I then had an implant positioned later on, nipple created from back skin, uplift and implant inserted (twice) on heatlhy side and areola tattoo. Total operations for me (5), due to infection from a  previous reconstruction.

How do i feel about the impant? Well it gives me shape under clothes and i can wear what i want (most bras and strappy tops). I can swim without worrying about what i look like or needing a prothesis.

For me, the most emotionally damaging aspect has been ( and always will be) the lack of sensation. The recon passes for the real thing, but it isn't. If i touch it, i get upset, so i don't go there, neither does my OH. It feels tight at times, the scarring is very visible (but that is down to my pigmentation) and it does not feel like a breast. With clothes on, no one could tell it is a recon, naked is another story. It does not make me feel 'whole' but it gives me some confidence now, as opposed to beIing totally flat.

I hope others come along to share their experiences and thoughts with you Scooby, because it is a hard thing to make a decision on i appreciate. There are many different types of recon remember, so maybe have a chat with a good PS for his/her thoughts on what woud be best for you?

Best of luck xxx

[Scooby0871]

Thank  you so much Jo, will have a read - such a difficult decision to make isn't it xx

[Jo_BCC]

Hi Scooby

Here's the link to BCC's reconstruction publication.  I've also put you the link to our animated guide for reconstruction.  I hope you find this helpful.

http://www2.breastcancercare.org.uk/publications/treatment-side-effects/breast-reconstruction-bcc7

http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/breast-cancer-information/treating-breast-cancer/surgery/reconstr...

http://vimeo.com/4508162

Take care,

Jo, Moderator

[Scooby0871]

Hi Ladies - any views/advice gratefully received.  I have been trying to live with my mastectomy for 16 months now but am still nowhere near accepting it.  I am thinking of going down the recon. route.  I know from previously looking into this that I haven't got enough fat for a natural recon. so will need an implant.  I am a perfectionist and am worrying that I will just compare it to my natural boob and may end up in a worse place than where I am now.  Can anyone who has had an implant let me know how they feel about it, how it compares to their natural boob, did they have to have lots of ops. to get it right - basically anything that might help me come to a decision.

As always, thanks you ladies for your help

xx