Thank you for the replies.
Wendy, I hope work is going ok and I am encouraged by the fact you sound so positive. It's just so hard to feel that I will get there at the moment! I feel a bit calmer today although I have decided to not think anymore about results or treatment until after I move. I am hoping I might feel more like dealing with it in a new area with a new hospital etc.
What upsets me most is that the consultant who told me "put a bit of Nivea on it or wear a bra with more cotton - it will be fine" before discharging me is still out there treating and diagnosing women.
I waited 2 and a half years between being referred to the hospital with a lump and them actually doing a biopsy - even though they knew I had a positive family history.
Now the more this goes on the more upset I am - if they had found it earlier it is likely my lymph nodes wouldn't have been involved, and I wouldn't have to have chemo. Even now there are constant delays - 2 months from diagnosis to surgery and now another 3 weeks for my results.
I really feel like giving up and saying no more, just leave me alone. I feel like I am fighting every step of the way to get treatment, and I can't do it anymore. Maybe I should find a lawyer - maybe then they would do something. I really don't know, and I am starting not to care.