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Desperately scared!


Re: Desperately scared!

Hi. I went through exactly the same as u back in march. My consultant was not at all sympathetic. His words were 'im 90% this lump is cancer' that was before any scans n biopsies. I am needle phobic so after the ultrasound n mammogram I left and rebooked. He told me that somebody who really has got cancer could've had my space. I felt so low no words could describe. Luckily for me my lump was non cancerous. But I can totally sympathise with how ur feeling and what ur going through. Some consultants could do with a bedside manner training course! Xx

Re: Desperately scared!

Hi, just an update
My breasts were very very swollen this morning despite the anti-inflamitries (my breasts usually increase by about 2 cup sizes just before I get my period)

Doc couldn't feel my lump as the rest of the inflamed tissue was concealing it, send me for ultra sound anyway but the doc there only ran it quickly over 1 small area which showed nothing.

To be honest they both made me feel really silly and although I didn't get bad news I walked away from ultra sound really upset.

When I returned to see the surgeon I told him I wasn't happy he hadn't felt it and doesn't seem to believe me that it's there and can't tell me what it could be. ( I feel because I'm only 25 they did minimal investigation)
Anyway after I opened my mouth and didn't just leave quietly he agreed to see me back in 6 weeks mid cycle to feel the lump when my breasts aren't swollen. And to see the genetics team about having the brca test.

P.s I got the extremely patronising response of 'cancer isn't painful' from the surgeon as soon I I mentioned they were sore due to starting my cycle ATM.

I'm really not happy with the service I've received. But I suppose I have to be glad it wasn't bad news. Just another 6 weeks of waiting now!! 🙈

Re: Desperately scared!

Hi Bkw89

Don't worry... if there's anything there, they'll find it!


I was told when I had mine that some of the mammograms were a bit vague due to dense tissue so I got sent back in for more to be done. This doesn't seem to be an issue for the ultrasound however so between the two they get a pretty good picture of how things are.


If your breasts are a bit swollen due to hormone changes, you might want to take a couple of painkillers to be on the safe side. Women seem to have different experiences of the mammograms. I was expecting them to be far more painful than they actually were as I had heard several stories about how much they hurt. I found them to be more uncomfortable than really painful. It helped to conciously relax into it rather than tense against it.


Remember too that even if it does turn out to be something, treatments for BC have come such a very long way in the last few years and the prognosis is so much better than it was 13 years ago.


Best of luck for your appointment today. Hugs x

Re: Desperately scared!

Thankyou for your kind words.
Yes I'm constantly touching and feeling and hoping it's gone. But it's definitely still there!
I'm a bit concerned now that because I'm mid cycle and my breast and harder and swollen (as they always do mid cycle) it may effect the scans etc I have tomo.

I've taken some anti-inflamitries and hoping that reduces the menstrual swelling enough for it not to be an issue in the morning. Do you think it will have any consequence?

Or am I just totally over thinking every possible thing that could go wrong or result in a miss diagnosis?

Thankyou again xx

Re: Desperately scared!

Hi Bkw,

Having just gone through what you're going through, my heart goes out to you. I can't give you any medical answers but I can say that the initial not knowing was, for me, by far the worst part. I'll be keeping everything crossed for you tomorrow. Please don't read any books etc, or google, as keeks says. It puts the fear of God in you and a lot of it is unnecessary and outdated. 

Best of luck, and big hugs xxx

Re: Desperately scared!

Hi Bkw89 welcome.


you have done exactly the right thing in getting this looked at, unfortunately this also brings a lot of stress and worry.  One minute you are ok then you either want to rip someone's head off or burst into tears. It's all stress and completely normal. You are in no way being a drama queen, you feel what you feel when you feel it with very little control. 


You will also probably feel phantom pains from your body being tense. Mine were lower back, kneck and sholders. But most of all I am sure you are prodding and poking around feeling for changes.


I am afraid that's all normal as well. Most lumps turn out to be nothing to worry about but until you know it's only natural to worry. Stay away from doctor Google.  You will just freak yourself out.


I hope it all goes well tomorrow.


take care



Re: Desperately scared!

Hi BKW89


Welcome to the Breast Cancer Care discussion forums, you've come to the right place for some good, honest support from the many informed users of this site.

While you are waiting for replies, I have put for you below links to some of BCC's publications you might find helpful. Also our helpline team are just a free phone call away, 0808 800 6000 lines open Mon-Fri 9-5 and Sat 10-2




Take care,

Jo, Moderator

Desperately scared!

Hi, I'm 25 and a mum of a 2 year old daughter. 13 years ago my aunt died at the age of 36 after being diagnosed with BC at age 29. My mums 2 other sister have both has hysterectomy from ovarian cancer. I found a pea sized lump back in May went straight to the dr and he put me on the non-urgent waiting list for breast clinic. I found this ok as he obviously wasn't too concerned. I sort of forgot about it then last week I went back as I felt my lump and it has tripled in size and is no longer round but long. It is in my left breast to the top left of my nipple. I also have pain sometimes in my armpit.
The dr that examined me again last week put me straight on the urgent list and I now have an appointment for ultra sound, biopsy and to see the breast surgeon tomorrow.
I can't think of anything else and have been short tempered and snappy then balling my eyes out. Am I being a drama queen or is this normal? I'm just so scared.
Thankyou for any replies in advance xx