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Deterioration of this disease

debsincornwall
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Thank you all so much it is good when you do a post and get a response. I don't do a blog I decided my thoughts, rants, fears and joys would be posts on BCC when I started reading posts on here. Some moved me tears and others made me laugh out loud!

Day 1 with brain mets.

Rang eldest daughter who was confused and then heartbroken in equal measure had all day at work to decide how to tell her girls. She chose the separate approach I don't think she could cope with the joint drama. Molly is 21 with baby so she told her on the way home and then told Grace when she got in. Grace rang about 7.3o so we just chatted about normal stuff and then the question ' yea nan but how are you? I daid I would start a new treatent next week so would most likely sleep a lot. Silence then she said I know mum has told me. So I said try not to worry. I will lose my hair again but that does not bother me anymore. For her that is very worring. We have all always had long flowing locks. I didn't mention the fat sunbeam face we will cross that one when we come to it!

Ian's best friend rang and Ian was telling her where we are up to she was sad, shocked and asked what they could do. I did intend telling my best friend but by the time I had spoken to D-M I was tired so will speak to er tonight.

Strange how my typing is suddenly rubbish I have asked Ian to let you know if I go ga ga over night but I am hoping that I cope like Tess has.

Love to all my cyber friends.
Love Debsxxx

LMxxxx
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Debs, like so many of us here - never posted on this thread - but just wanted to add my love and prayers. Your amazing personality shines through your posts, and I am thinking about you,
Take care
Love
Lizzie XX

delivic
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Hi Debs

I still follow this site but haven't posted really since my mum passed on, but couldnt not post when i read this jst want to say my thoughts are with you , and im sure that you will def see your grandson.

Vicky xx

renee
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

hi debs,
just to let you know my thoughts are with you and your family and i will be saying a prayer for you that you get to see and know your wee grandson.
love reneexx

peppapot
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Debs I am so so sorry darl. Its really just not fair you have to go through this.
God is good,and I am sure you will hold that little baby.
I will pray earnestly for it to be so.
We will all will you on, and pray for you and your family.
Tell the treatment it will work, like it did for bikini girl. It must.

Thinking and praying for you darl (((((HUGE HUGS))))))

I just want to hold you.

peppapot
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Debs I am so so sorry darl. Its really just not fair you have to go through this.
God is good,and I am sure you will hold that little baby.
I will pray earnestly for it to be so.
We will all will you on, and pray for you and your family.
Tell the treatment it will work, like it did for bikini girl. It must.

Thinking and praying for you darl (((((HUGE HUGS))))))

Lily200
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Hi,
I am so very sorry to hear that the chemo has not done what everyone on here was hoping that it would. Keep thinking about holding little Bean and it is not too long away till he makes his entrance. By having the treatment it will buy you the time you are talking about and we all hope plenty more too. Perhaps he was sent to help you through this really tough time and he is waiting for you,
Keep one eye on looking after yourself and the other on that little charmer who will be in your arms in months
Big hugs
Lily x

katemate
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

I, too,Debs have followed your threads and am so sad at your news.

I went to a healing mass today and have prayed for everyone suffering from this disease. I also prayed for our families and friends who support us, who do all they can to make things as "normal" as possible for us.

I will continue the prayers for you all.

Kathy

elljaydee
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Hi Debs,

From another admirer of your dedication to dispelling the myths about this awful disease may i wish you the best of luck and minimum discomfort with your next phase of treatment.

All the best
Linda

Reanne
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Hi Debs

Like so many others, I have never posted on this thread but have followed your postings and have great admiration for you for your feisty appearance on TV re Tickled Pink. I too am so sorry for your news.

Cathy
x

nell
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

hi Debs..never posted on this thread before, but often read it. So sorry for your news. I felt that I wanted to let you know just how much I feel for you, and you are in my thoughts...{{{{gentle hugs}}}}

take care
Helenxxx

Tinks05
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Hi Debs

Just wanted to say along with everyone else, how sorry i am at your results.

I follow your thread, as i wish so much my mum could have been just like you. Your inspiration that has passed onto so many ladies on here is unbelievable.

I hope that you get to meet and hold your grandson as i know this is what you really want.

I will have everything cross for you, i'm not a religious person but i will certainly pray for you and your family

Take Care

Kerry xx

junieliz
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Hi Debs & Ian, I would like to send you both my love and best wishes. I hope your treatment works for you, you will be in my thoughts and prayers. You have so much to look forward to and this will help you along the way, take care love junieliz x

gemini
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Dear Debs

So sorry to hear your news. Just want to let you know that I've had gamma knife twice and thankfully it has been successful. I am currently having chemotherapy but still manage to have good times and I hope you will cope with your treatment and meet your grandson in Feb.

Best wishes, Gemini.

nicky08
Community Champion

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Dear Debs
Like everyone else on here I am so so sorry to hear your cr@p results. I really hope the RT works for you, as with Biking Girl, and that they sort everything else out as well. You are one determined lady and I'm sure you will do your damnedest to see your grandson. Thinking of you.
Nicky xx

marmite
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Dear Debs,
So devastated to read your news, and wish you all the best for succesful treatment, you can beat it.
Your posts are always so upbeat and have us all in stitches, so you must keep going.
Thinking of you and your family, and big cyber hugs.

Marmite xx

dm1968
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Dear Debs

I am truly devastated to read your news and know that there is nothing i can do to make things easier for you.

I hope that your treatment works and that you get to hold your new grandchild.

I so hate this effing disease, robbing us all of so many things in our lives. I have tears rolling down my checks writing this, as emotional today anyway, and ur news has tipped me over again.

Sending you big hugs Debs and really really hope that your next treatment works for you and that the brain mets get zapped.

Take care and lots of love
Dawn
xxxxx

Jennywren
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

I'm so sorry to read of your results. I do hope you get your treatment over with quickly and that it treats you kindly - and works. If there are just a couple of mets, could you not have gamma knife (stereotactic surgery - where they zap them individually), instead of whole brain radiation? I know you have a lot to take in right now but it may be an alternative option worth looking into. Have a look at http://www.brainmetsbc.org/ One lady who posts on that site has had brain mets for about six years.

Thinking of you and Ian

Jennyx

maltomlin
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Hi Debs

I really can't add anything that hasn't already been said. Just hoping you have a great response to the treatment, as other have done. I'm sure that you'll be holding your little grandson in a few months time. If anyone can beat this - you can.

Thinking of you.

Mal x

TORONTO
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Hi Debs,

So very sorry to hear your news.

Good luck with the treatment, stay strong and positive (as if you need me to tell you that!!)

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Take care,
Lots of love,
Janxx

Bahons2
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Hi Debs

So sorry to hear this. What filthy rotten news.

Wishing you an excellent response to your forthcoming treatment.

Thinking of you.

Take care

X

S

india1
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Hi Debs,

I am so sorry you have received such cr-p news. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Love nicky

scottishlass
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Hi Debs, Have sent you a private message but just want to add my name on to your huge following in wishing you wel. I hope you have the stength and the courage to keep going and hopefully have that baby to hold in your arms when the time comes. Much love, Val X

daisyleaf
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Hello
just wanted to wish you well Debs - you are in my thoughts and prayers. Reading your threads has inspired me since my latest dx and helped me enormously - I am sure that applies to many people who use the forums.
god bless you
monica xx

brightlight28
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Debs,

I just wanted to send you good thoughts.

Victoria xxxxx

rjenr2
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Debs honey

i don't think i can say anything useful at the mo except your daughter will want you to hang round.

Much love jen xx

notyetinthebox
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Debs, had a little bit of contact with you once, and know that you're a feisty lady through your posts. You WILL get through the rads to hold that baby boy - no doubt about it. Good luck, missus. xxJacqxx

scobie
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Debs we dont know each other but just wanted to say how sorry to hear you got a bad result today thinking of you and hope that treatments gives you some respite and tell yourself "I will hold my grand-child!"and try and keep positive.love to you and your family.Joycexx

cass141
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Debs, so sorry. I will be willing RT to do it's best for you and hope that you'll get a good response. Love to you, Ian and your family. x

Anthi
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Sorry to hear about your results. Thinking of you and sending all possible good wishes to your and your family.
Anthi x.

Jacksy
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Oh Debs,
What a heap of cr@p. There's nothing to add that hasn't been said already, just sending enormous love to you, Ian and your family
jacquie

BoneyL
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Dear Debs

Don't want to repeat what has already been said, but I too am praying for an excellent response to RT for you - wish you weren't going through this.

Love
Linda
x

magsi
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Dear Debs,
I am so very very sorry to read your news.
Big hugs
As always
M x

Daisy_do
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

So sorry to hear the news Debs and I dont usually come here but wanted to say that your family have really known what love is and you have shown them all the way. Recently they have had a chance to look love in the face once or twice and to give it also. You have probably given them the best lessons anyone could.

Dont be so hard on yourself because you will be around for a while yet.

God bless you and keep you safe.

Delphinex

AnneS
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Oh Debs, So sorry to hear your news. I know it's what all of us dread so much. I really hope the treatment works well for you. As others have said you've achieved so much and even appeared on Tv looking so well considering how you've been feeling.
I wish I had the right words but you certainly mustn't feel guilt towards your daughter.Your love for your family shines through your posts and I'm quite sure they realise how much they all mean to you.
Your frankness and amazing humour has helped me so much through last year and this year so I will keep dancing,singing,praying for you - anything to help you through.
Lots of love, Anne xxx

belinda
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Dear Debs, I am so sorry to hear your news.
Whatever may happen in the future I know your grandson will know just how much you love him.
Good Luck. I had 2 friends with bc brain mets who lasted years after their treatment. With Love, Belinda..xx

jaynemh
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Hi debs - so sorry to hear your news - you must be still reeling with thoughts buzzing round - about the next treatment and your daughter - sending you love - your little bean will know about your love - you will hold him and tell him...jaynex

juliet66
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Debs,

So sorry to hear your news. It truly is a bag of c..p. You were so kind to me in your pm the other day. What a woman.

Everything has already been said. Just take comfort in knowing that knowledge is power. Knowing is truly horrible, but at least you know about the new nasty little uggers and can give them short shrift.

As you have said so many times, it will be easier once you get your treatment plan.
Sending you love, prayers and best wishes.

Julie xxx

carolinew
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Oh Debs this is the news that none of us want to here I am so sorry. But like you said Biking Girl has been through it and there are also several other ladies on here and on the other site that have had them and have been successfully treated. So YOU WILL be around to hold your new grand son. At least now they can treat you properly.

Lots of love Caroline

LesleyLP
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Debs, I am devastated to read your post - I know it was the news you were dreading most and can't begin to imagine how you must be feeling. I hope and pray that your treatment will work as well as it did for Bikinggirl and that you WILL be around to welcome your grandson and for a good while longer than that. I'm thinking of you and your family and praying hard for you.

Lesley xxx

loopyjack
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Debs, I am so sorry to hear this news. I hope the treatment is as successful for you was it was for Bikinggirl and you get to hold your Grandson. Thinking of you.
Love Lesley xx

ripley
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Dear Debs

It is heartbreaking to read your post. I am so so sorry. I can't imagine the shock of hearing those words or the pain you are going through. I wish you the very best of luck with your treatment and hope you get a good result - we know it's not unheard of!

lots of love & hugs
xxxx

FairviewJ
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Hi Debs

I'm new to posting on this site (but not new to BC) and haven't posted on this thread before. However, although my words seem inadequate I just wanted to add to everyone elses wishes, and to say that I too wish that we could ease your pain and that you get to meet your new grandson.

I've read many of your posts and have a huge amount of admiration for the help and support you give to others, as well as the insight you give as to how you cope with this cruel disease. You are such an inspiration and my thoughts are with you and your family.
Love Judith
xxx

carmcg1
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Debs, my heart goes out to you and your family.

take care

love and big hugs

Carol xxxx

celeste
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Hi Debs,

I cannot express how shocked and sad I am to hear this news. I am very familiar with that feeling of guilt that we experience for the pain and hurt this has caused our children - but my eldest daughter told me last week that she was a stronger person because of it. I hope so - I think so.

I too hope this treatment is sucessful, because clearly based on recent experience on the forums - we cannot do without you - look what you achieved with brain mets!!

You are an amazing woman and i shall be thinking and praying for both of you.

Take very good care

love and best wishes

JanB
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Hi Debs,

I haven't posted on this thread before but I have been following yours. I'm devastated for you and I wish, like everyone else, that we could ease your pain.

I do understand how you feel about your daughter. My mum has lung cancer with brain mets and I would have done anything to take away her pain. Instead I had to tell her I have breast cancer and add to her worries when she least needed it. I wish with all my heart that you get to see your grandson so that you and your daughter can share that joy at the very least.

Jan xx

rhapsodyangel
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Debs - so sorry to hear that the scan results were not what we wished... I never got to meet my grandparents as they died before i was born... But i have genuinely always loved them and feel that i know them as my parents told me so much about them... I so wish that there was something i could say that will help...

Theresa x

debsincornwall
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Just got back from clinic and I knew results would not be good but how bad I think I was mentally prepared as my spelling has gone my balance is poor and I get the odd word muddled. I was still shocked to hear the words SEVERAL BRAIN METS! My liver is worse than it was I knew that bl@@dy vinerolbine wasn't doing anything. Sent to RT to be measured for the mask which I hated had another scan on brain and back as started last week with really bad back pain. So now I sit by the phone and wait.
I would like to thank Bikinggirl who took some of the fear away by sharing her experience with us. Hope I am as successful with the treatment as she has been. While having the scan I thought I could smell burning hog!
Just spoken to my youngest daughter who is expecting her first baby in Feb her dad died when she was 4 and I am so proud of her why why oh why am I putting through this pain at this important time of her life? Will I get to hold my grandson? Will he know how very loved he is? Will she forgive me if I don't make it? This is the pain that is ripping me apart I feel so very sad.
Love Debsxxx

carmcg1
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Ill be thinking of you both tomorrow, Debs and Dawn, that was the hardest part for me waiting on results!!

take care

love n hugs

Carol x

AnneS
Member

Re: Deterioration of this disease

Best of luck for your results Debs and Dawn. Thinking of you xx