Diagnosed 2 days ago

[Silverlady]

I cheated and told my immediate family by phone - I just blurted it out and then said I need to go. I told everyone else by facebook. I haven't cried yet and I didn't want anyone making me cry. They have cried, but when I wasn't about. I was diagnosed on 29 November then 14 days later I had it cut out, I am officially cancer free at the moment, but it's strange as I hadn't had time to get used to having cancer and now I don't.

It's a strange bubble we are now living in.

Sending you extra hugs.

Susan x

[Claire123]

Hi Susan - thanks for that. Not that it's nice to know others are the same as me, but it makes u realise how many people are coping with this day in, day out.
Having a bad day - think it's as my extended family have now been told, so that has me a bit emotional as a lot of them have been in touch.

[Silverlady]

Hi Claire,

Your diagnosis is the same as mine, grade 3 lump. I had a mx on 13 December, where they took out a couple of lymph nodes to test them - all clear, although it wouldn't have mattered if hadn't been as I would have gone back in and had them removed.

I'm now just waiting to hear when I start my chemo on Tuesday next week.

My head has spun so many times, my neck is 2" longer.

Sending you hugs.

susan

[Claire123]

Hi all, I finally had my biopsy results on Thursday and it was as I expected - Grade 3 lump, although the other part they biopsey'd was clear. Surgery scheduled for 25th to remove lump and a couple of lumph nodes (even though tests so far have have shown them to be clear). I will have chemo and radiotherapy after that, so still a lot of hurdles to go, but feeling a bit better now that I know what's what. Although my head I spinning that a week and a half ago i hadn't even had a doctor's appt!

[SJPrior]

Sorry I should have said grade 1

[Lindylou23]

Hi there,  

I too was diagnosed on 3 Jan - it looks like quite a few of us had an anxious wait over the Christmas period! 

I was back to see my consultant yesterday and now have been booked in for a double mastectomy and lymph node removal on 18 January! Wow it's all happening so quickly. I will have to wait a further two weeks after my op to find out if it has spread and whether I will need chemo 😩 A very scary time! 

[skatecoolaly]

HI there

I echo these sentiments, be kind to yourself,you are at the start of a long journey BUT you will win through. Its alot to take in and you may not hear it all at first. Let it digest, then be informed, before you make any decisions. I remember when i was first diagnosed it was a blur i didnt hear it all, so it didnt sink in, i also couldnt cry or react.  Let things digest is the best way before you attack the next stage.

If i can give any words of encouragement do not give up,you will win this battle, Another suggestion, i wrote a diary and wrote each day how i was feeling,not matter how silly that sounds,it made sense.  Then after i could read it back when i felt stronger.  It really helped my journey.

Dont be afraid to ask questions not matter how small

do your research being informed is very wise.

but do know you are not alone, there are alot of us out here to help you on your journey

best wishes

Aly Parker

[SJPrior]

Hi all. I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer stage 1 grade 3 on 5/1. I will need a masevtimy, radiotherapy and chemo. The worst time was waiting for the results. Christmas was also very tough. I was relieved when I knew what I was dealing with as it could have been much worse but the last few days have been tough as it's thrown my life upside down. I'm a keen runner but I've not felt like running much. Also.my appetite isn't good. I'm going to try and take it one day at a time x

[marydan]

Claire and Alex,

This is without a doubt the hardest time but Tuesday when you have all the info you will feel more in control.

Don't get me wrong I still was full of anxiety and to a certain degree still am but think this is human nature.

I had a spinal and brain mri in december due to my m.s but as yet no word.

This too makes me jittery but I truly think its natural. Totally get what you mean about the new slimming world, and that again scares us as why we losing weight.!!! Crazy.

I am  usually quite a chilled person but this has shook me to the core, however things do settle and we will get there. Take Care. xxxx Mary

[Claire123]

lol Alex 'Chins', well maybe one and a half chins 😂😂 Soon to be 1 with the new anxiety levels! I said to my OH the other day that this is the new Slimming World! U have to have humour I think - anything to get through.
So sorry, that ur in the same position as me - looks like we're both in for a sleepless couple of nights til Tuesday and then hopefully as all the lovely ladies on here say we'll both feel a bit better. 'Chins' up Claire xx

[Silverlady]

Hi Alex,

I am also 49 and found my lump myself. It was 3.7cm (4.7cm when they got all of it out) - I kept asking myself how did I miss this lump until it got this big, I check myself all the time (as Mum had BC).  But my lump was mobile and moved around, so the bugger kept moving away as I checked myself.  If I slept on my side, I still couldn't feel it, it just disappeared. 

But, I did find it and they have took it out, so I am lucky I was checking myself.  

It's really horrible waiting at this time for results and I like everyone had convinced myself it had spread, especially when the consultant told me it was aggressive and so I had to have a CT scan (when no one else was having one) cause if it had spread it wasn't worth doing the mx. I was so hoping I could have a mx.

lots of hugs

Susan

[ann-m]

hi alex,
Yes, it does feel better when you know what you're dealing with, this stage is always the worst bit, thank goodness you had the screening appointment.
hugs
ann x

[Alex1967]

Oh and I meant "chins" plural to everyone not meaning you have loads of chins Claire 😂😂

[Alex1967]

Hi Claire and all you other lovely girls who I have chatted to on the other threads. Well Claire I too had an awful Xmas and Year wait due to having been called back after a mammogram for USS which I had on 16 Dec and they told me it was cancer (she could tell it was), 3 biopsies taken from the "22mm lesion" as she called it. She scanned my lymph nodes and said they look normal size but said "as far as they can see on USS they are" so no doubt will test. I've been walking around like a robot in my own bubble for 3 weeks - I have a consultant appointment on Tuesday for the "official" diagnosis and whilst I need it to hurry up I'm a flipping nervous wreck! I didn't have any symptoms at all and only went for the trial screen (I'm 49) but when they asked me to lift my arms up there was an indentation in my left breast at the bottom and of course when I looked at the other breast which was normal shape I could tell!!! Kicking myself why I didn't check this before?!!!!!! I'm a midwife and to think I spend my days with boobs, been trained on the physiology of them yet couldn't even look after my own 😫 No point dwelling now though, I have to tell myself they have seen it and they will treat it. I think my biggest fear now is what they are going to say to me on Tuesday (the severity of it if it is) - I know we always think the worst, think that's human coping mechanism but I just hope I will feel more in control after Tuesdays appointment. Keep your chins up and remember the treatment nowadays is amazing xx

[zena75]

PS Jo, very funny 🙂 .. luv it now I'm known for that lol x

[Jules1]

Thank you - I feel your support Ladybowler. You will keep me strong through this xxxx

[Jules1]

Thank you - yes - the only time I've cried is when people are nice to me!!!

[zena75]

Hi All, 

Jules,  Im so sorry , its the fear of fears: I feel for us women , and so frightening , hard to tell anyone because its real then......  I find it hard looking my family and freinds in the  eyes, Its like my pain and fear is mirrored in them... and I  just ball like a little girl...

Also the unbelievable shock of it ! one day walking around with stuff like "whats for tea" and "shall I put a wash on", i mean I got so angry at a speeding ticket i got , now I mean GOD I hope I get loads more and live to drive all over (ps,  only doing 55 in a 50 .. on a dual bit ) .... still annoyed with myself actually.... I digress.

Jo .... well done hun , Ace .. lets try and use it.

zena xxxxx

[Pinkloz83]

Hi Jules

i am sorry you find yourself here but we're all in it together, I promise you.

I was diagnosed on Tues (3rd) after a horrific Christmas/new year waiting! I too am also having 6 chemo sessions, mine are every 3 weeks. But don't know when they start yet (have my oncology appt next Thurs)

I am also having a sentinel node biopsy on Monday, and like you will be having lumpectomy after chemo.

Keep us posted, the ladies on here are just amazing xx

[Jules1]

I was diagnosed on Thursday (5th). I then waited 24 hours before telling my sister and her OH. It was very hard but I got through it. I had to wait 24 hours so I could let my brain take the information in.

This morning I have told my Mum. Had to tell her on the phone as she is 4 hours away. I coped better telling her (maybe 'cos I could see her face!) She was very upset but I now feel more able to tell extended family and work.

I have my MRI scan on Tuesday and then the following week I should know my plan. I have to have 6 chemo sessions. Does anyone know if they are once a month or once evry 3 weeks. I got a bit confused with the nurse as I was in a bit of shock.

[Jo C]

Helena,

I'm having a lazy day!

Jo xx

[Jo C]

Thanks Helena. I'll take a look st that. Maybe we will be duplicating things a bit but hopefully it will be a useful thread for those of us on the newly diagnosed bit of the forum to put some info together.

[Jo C]

I've set up a thread for healthy hints and tips so get posting ladies! xx

[Jo C]

ER+ is oestrogen receptor positive. It means that oestrogen 'feeds' this type of cancer so hormone treatments such as tamoxifen can be used to block and reduce the effect of oestrogen.

[Claire123]

Hi ladies, I think a helpful hints and tips thread would b great.
Can I ask what er+ is? Is this something to do with oestrogen?

[Jo C]

Hi Zena, I've got turmeric tea with ginger, manuka honey with ginger and I also bought some timeric for adding to food but haven't done yet. It would be good to have a hints and tips page. I feel like a lot of us are thinking of healthy eating and other things we can do to fight back. My diet is rubbish though at the minute. Some days I have no appetite and other days I just eat rubbish! I hate milk but do like cheese and butter. Shall we get a healthy hints and tips thread going?

[zena75]

Hey all
Emily sounds like you've got a busy life Hun - horses are harder work than kids , I had 3 ponies growing up, ( not at same time) 😀.. Mum still has hers but I gave up when I found out that boyfriends were such fun too!! lol ( what a mistake I made 🤣🤣🤣🤣) .So glad you are getting thru this .. your posts keep me going a lot hunny 😘
Pam how are you feeling after your op and how did treatment go ? X
Pink yes - apparently dairy feeds the oestrogen so I'm gonna try and cut it out ( of course cheese is my favourite thing in all the world 😣) .. lots of other dairy free cheeses so will update what they are like ..
Ps be good to have a save post tab for all the really good posts - stories and mainly advice on chemo, ops , bras - thinking Helena would be super good at that and Sarah and loads more of you amazing girls ??? So we had an advice and tips from us page ??
I just got chamomile essential oil and geranium one - put a few drops of each in my bath just now and WOW amazing relaxing and smells nice too .. they both supposed to be good for bc ..also dandelion tea is good and not as bad as you may think lol . I put a slice of fresh ginger in to spice it up a bit . Also Jo bought some tumeric tea ( pukka) its lovely and I feel good I'm thinking more about my body ( again better late than never )
Big love ❤️ all

[Pinkloz83]

Morning girls, hope you're feeling ok today. 

Zena - I'm er+ too, what's that about cutting out dairy? Does it help? I've been eating loads healthier too lately! Every little helps!

I love hearing positive stories about people having babies after all this rubbish! Things like that just keep me going. 

I've just got my Oncology appt through for next Thursday, I presume to discuss when I'll start chemo?! Eek! xx

[Emily T]

Sorry Zena, that made me chuckle, just got a picture in my mind of your poor client sat looking horrified.

Doing your degree sounds like a great distraction without pressure of  work.

I know that hearing others experiences is helpful so thought I'd just tell you mine briefly. I'm 41 (and 11 months lol) no kids but 2 horses that have been my life saver, they don;t judge or worry when you cry.......I've had my op, I had a 5 week wait from diagnosisi to op, which was hard! I'm now waiting for an oncologist appointment and still waiting my HER2 result although I know I'm ER+ (I had a 15mm ductal carcinomer with some DCIS and LCIS)......Ive found the whole experience long, I just seemed to constantly be waiting. I stayed at work up to op day though. I work as reception/admin in a chidlrens centre and the girls that I work with are amazing and were soo supportive, it was great to have the distraction as I would have gone stir crazy sitting at home......now I'm back at work again after 3 weeks off, I'm finding it very tiring, which I wasn't prepared for.......

My advice would be to be kind to yourself, don;t feel that you HAVE to do things because you feel that you should....I was ready to throttle the next person who said "stay positive!" What the heck did they think I was trying to do!! But you have to smile and nod....I then avoided those people lol!

[zena75]

Yes , I want to stay working but after talking to my supervisor I thought not a good idea - but I am a Bereavement counsellor so maybe not great me sat there crying the whole hour on the poor client 😪😬
I am also doing a degree and in the last year - but I am going to try to complete as really annoying to go back redo year - bloody pain this cancer stuff .. inconvenient really 🙄!
Sounds like you have good gp - I asked for a call back from gps the other day , he called while I was talking to bcn so I asked for another call back and he didn't bother to call again 😖.. So now have to call again - more chasing. But I am very happy with NHS at the moment all been quite fast and nice .. I feel cared for.. hope it stays like that ..
I know others have had different experiences so I will be on my guard at bit tho ..
Great you and pink could have eggs frozen, my friend did it before treatment for Hodgkin.. cancer and had her first , a bouncy boy a few years after at 39 xx
I'm cutting out dairy as I'm Er+ so off today to get free from food .. also now on herbal teas and raisens good homemade soups with spinach and lots of veg .. I'm gonna keep busy with getting me and whole family a bit healthier .. even went through house chucking out all parabens stuff and air freshener s , joss sticks from now and ecover kitchen sprays .. bit late lol but it makes me feel like I'm actively fighting.. yes waiting together girls and get reassurance from the amazing ladies further on on here xxxxx zena 💗

[Claire123]

Hi Pam75, nice to hear from u. Good to hear from someone who is a little further along the road. How are you after ur radiotherapy? xx

[Claire123]

Hi Zena75, thanks for asking, I'm doing ok. Pain not as bad now. Have my MRI in just over a week, but consultant wants to see me on Tuesday to get results of biopsies - have to admit when the bcn rang with that news it sent me into a panic again thinking the worst. I was planning on going back to work until the OP (mainly for the distraction) but have reconsidered as I don't think I could concentrate, plus I have a lengthy commute and with no sleep I don't think that's a good combination. My GP phoned me yesterday as she had just been informed what happened. After a long chat with her she has signed me off. Some of my family have come to visit this weekend which is really helping. It is DEF the waiting on results that is awful. We can wait together xx
I'm 37 btw and am laughing at ur 'new pot habit' - it seems to be a recurring theme on here! I had a glass of wine last night and slept 6hrs straight 😊

[Pam75]

Hi Claire my journey started in the 15th October when I spotted an indent under my breast I Googled and it said cancer straight away....so I was kind of prepared..8 weeks later I had the op and today I went for my first radiotherapy appt had my tattoos and ct scan..any help well give you xx

[zena75]

Hey Claire, how are you doing ? mine got really sore and worried me sick for days.
I had my MRI today - it was hellish.. and the noise ... like being in a space invaders arcade machine.. but its progress and thats good. got my appt in 10 days so hope will find out treatment and stuff then if not before, but if I get cold turkey by tues i will ring bcn and ask for results if she can give anyway.. 10 days feels like an eternity to wait... Im 41 btw and got 3 kids... and a new pot habit lol xxx

[Claire123]

Hi ladies, thanks so much for all your encouragement. Home again from the hospital and biopsies all done - no pain at the time, but I'm feeling it now 😒 Pinkloz83 thanks for the heads up on the egg freezing - I hadn't even considered that that was an option, but when I rang the fertility clinic today to pull out of the treatment (tough call to make), but they were brilliant and are setting up an emergency appointment with my fertility consultant to discuss egg harvesting. Turns out I'm REALLY lucky I hadn't started ivf drugs as they would have been bad news for the Cancer.....
Anyway it has really helped to know that everyone is saying the same thing about the diagnosis and waiting on treatment that is the scariest part.
Just waiting on my MRI appt and then meeting with my consultant to discuss treatment plan xx

[Treeze]

I really feel for you Claire..I was the same.All my friends told me it would be a cyst so pootled off to clinic on my own expecting them to perhaps drain it and be back at work that afternoon.Err..no not quite! But just started rads after chemo and surgery and if I can do this anyone can! :)It seems impossible now like looking down a long dark tunnel but I promise you, you will get through and have good days again.much love x

[blueash]

Hello girls,

Very sorry that you find yourselves here but don't panic, there are lots of us that have been just where you are now. I have been through surgery, chemo and radiation I also have to have Heceptin until July. You will get through this and we will help you but there are conditions. The conditions are that you will help those coming after you that are shocked, tearful and full of anxiety. First of all it is perfectly natural to be in a highly emotional state and to worry about yourself and your children.

You will soon be given a treatment plan and when you know what lies in front of you things get easier. Come here often and ask whatever you like. Express your feelings and get support from others who know what you are going through. Family and friends that have not actually had this diagnosis mean well but they can say stuff that makes you want to scream. Here we will all do our best to help you cope xxx

[Emily T]

Hi Claire, I'm sorry that you find yourself in this situation but its good that they are on it and you have things in place. Breast cancer is the most researched and there are many many treatment options out there.

I'm 3 weeks post op but had several core biopsys. I can tell you now that its the waiting for results that is the hardest, once you have a full diagnosis and a plan in place, things become easier. Fear is natural, my anxiety was through the roof to start with, but it does get easier. You should have been allocated a Breast care nurse, use her, they are there to support you.

Do not google, its my once piece of advice, if you want information, use this site and the Macmillan one.

This site has also been my lifeline, keep chatting

Emily xxxxxx

[Pinkloz83]

Hi Claire, 

firstly I am so sorry to hear the news, but you have definitely come to the right place. I was officially diagnosed on Tuesday this week, after having scans and biopsies before Christmas. I was told then that it was 'suspicious' and '90% sure' it's cancer. But nothing actually prepares for when the consultant is telling you how much chemo you'll need! 

Its a terrifying time, Im 33 with no children, so I'm being transferred straight to a fertility team to discuss freezing my eggs! My life has just changed dramatically in the space of 3 weeks. I have moments where I feel  like panicking, then just feel accepting of it and ready to fight! 

We are all here for you, keep us posted, you'll find some amazing support. I only signed up here yesterday and it's already a lifeline! Much love xx

[zena75]

Sorry that's 2 boys - dyslexic and a lazy proof reader .. but least of my worries really lol x

[zena75]

Oh Claire I'm so sorry .. it's so awful and devastating and rips your heart out too ( mines still aching with the pain of it ) ... the biopsy will need to be done to find out if it is Def C .. and then MRI to see where .. I had a biopsy last week in boob and armpit - didn't hurt that much at the time but hurt for days after wards. They told me stage 2 lobular and in my nodes so I'm now waiting for an MRI .. to see how bad and if in the other boob ..
it sounds like you found it quite soon so that's a really good thing.
This site had kept me going through this unreal time .. the fear I feel even makes it hard to breath. But also I've had to get on with stuff ( normal house stuff) so have kept going which helps a bit - no work though x
I have a 4 year old girl and 3 boys 9-10 and a oh who's great but not like me (their Mum..)
Message me anytime on p message if you need to. The ladies on here will be up and about soon so much more hugs and support to come, zena xxxxxx

[Claire123]

Hi I'm new to this, so not sure how it all works. I found a lump over Xmas and after 2 weeks of thinking it was just a cyst, I decided to get to checked as I was due to start ivf in a couple of weeks. I truly thought it was a cyst - I even went privately to an appointment on my own! Couldn't believe it when doc said it was cancer. My mind is reeling ever since. I'm going to have core biopsy today and MRI next week. Really very scared, mainly for my 5yr old little girl and my OH.