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Diagnosed 21st June

15 REPLIES 15
Neetie
Member

Re: Diagnosed 21st June

Hi Sharmer, yes we will get through this and be a stronger person at the end. Good luck with your treatment, really good to hear from other ladies in the same position 😊 xx sending hugs
Sharmer
Member

Re: Diagnosed 21st June

Hi Neetie

I am in the same position as you, diagnosed 2 weeks ago with idc grade 3 with a large area of dcis. Having mastectomy 13th July. I am HER2 positive so will be having chemo etc. My heads all over the place so know exactly how you are feeling. Good luck, we will get through this together x
Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Diagnosed 21st June

Good luck today Neetie- I told people "women's problems " didn't go into any detail , this wasn't exactly a lie and seemed to quite successfully stop people asking questions -apart from one very nosy colleague! .I then told a couple of colleagues that I liked and trusted in my own time (and on my way home as ended up in tears every time I told people !!!).
Neetie
Member

Re: Diagnosed 21st June

Hi everyone, thankyou for your kind words it really does help. I am planning to go back to work tomorrow but will wait to see how I feel in the morning. I break up on Friday anyway for 2 weeks leave so would like to go back before I finish as my op will be after my fortnight off. Not sure about telling people at work as don't want the sympathy so may just say it's gynecology stuff, good idea. Feel a little better today and I think I am starting to come to terms with what is happening. Thankyou everyone for great support, really desperately needed, bug hugs to you all xxx
lizred
Member

Re: Diagnosed 21st June

HI Neetie, just wanted to say hello and add a couple of things to the other ladies' words of wisdom 🙂

In those early post diagnosis days you may well find anything makes you upset again - maybe its becuase we find it easier to get upset over a GP appointment rather than the bigger picture of what's going on while we are still getting to grips with it all.

Its also very common to become convinced you are riddled with cancer - nearly always an anxious brain playing tricks and noticing every last little twinge or ache which wouldn't have bothered you a couple of weeks ago! Add to that the fact that stress often caused tummy upsets and hey presto, its another thing to worry about (I decided I had lung cancer a bit after my BC diagnosis cos I had a twinge in my lower rib cage!). Hopefully you'll get to see your GP soon and they will be able to put your mind at rest a bit.

Re work - I work with a small team who knew I had gone for a follow up appointment after routine mammogram - I also knew I wouldn't be able to just pretend everything was fine (I've been told I really don't have a poker face!). I sent an email to one of my colleagues just before I went back to work after diagnosis and asked her to circulate it round the others - basically said I had been diagnosed with BC and was having further tests to work out the best treatment; I also asked people not to talk to me about it unless I started the conversation, so I could focus on work (not because I'm mega conscientious but so I could have some nornality in my life). Everyone is different in how they choose to handle things, I'm sure you'l find the right way for you x

Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Diagnosed 21st June

You certainly seem to have you fair share of stuff to deal with at the moment Jojums!!!Good luck with MRI .Things will get better,anxiety levels do die down ,sleep returns -good days gradually become more frequent .Do whatever you need to do to get through the next few weeks ,sleeping tablets ,Valium whatever ,it will get better .Jill.
Jojums
Member

Re: Diagnosed 21st June

Hi Nettie like you only my boss new I took a few days a/l and asked my boss to tell my colleagues my news whilst I was off as I couldn't face telling them myself I went to see my gp Friday and have been signed off work for six weeks as my head really is on the shed I'm going back to gp on Friday and going to ask for something to help me sleep as haven't had a decent sleep Since diagnosis got my MRI tomorrow be so glad wen I get the results and I no what I'm dealing with to complicate matters I have fibroids and I'm waiting to have on op on them as causes horrendous monthlies so don't no wats gonna happen about that phew I'm done in x
Charys
Community Champion

Re: Diagnosed 21st June

I agree with Jill,

 

Neetie you really don't have to tell people if you feel it won't be helpful to you. I made a personal deliberate choice to tell a very small handful of people, but the majority I interacted with had no idea at all....until much much later (well well after treatment had finished). I wanted to have people treat me normally and didn't want sympathy or kind words. That sounds horrible LOL, I couldn't 'cope' with sympathy and kind words is a better way to explain it. Enough of my thoughts and life were taken up with thinking about bc, and I wanted a 'place' where it didn't exist. If people are asking, as Jill said, make something up gynaecological....that shuts most up lol

 

However if you do want people to know, you could ask your manager to tell people quietly and that you really don't want to talk about it at all and you want to come to work and get on with things as before.

Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Diagnosed 21st June

Neetie do you have to go back to work tomorrow -sounds like you could do with a few more days to get your anxiety levels down to a more manageable level .I had telephone appt with doc and he gave me a weeks worth of Valium just calmed me down enough (low dose ) to be able to process things a bit .You could get your manager to tell people on your behalf or don't tell them at all right now -I told colleagues I had "women's problems" and needed an op -no-one asked me any questions as they were too embarassed!I then told people as and when I felt able /wanted to .
u2girlie
Member

Re: Diagnosed 21st June

Hi Neetie.

I had mastectomy with immediate reconstruction, 4 weeks ago, then back for axillary clearance 12 days ago. Your fear of the "unknown" is by far the worst part, as you don't know what to expect! It won't be as bad as your imagination is telling you.

It is a very scary time, made worse by waiting for results, dates for things to start etc, and certainly the worst part is telling others! I felt like I was having to support them!

And I don't think there is one of us on this site, that hasn't, at one time or another, thought that just a sore throat would be the cancer spreading!!

Please talk to your GP as to how you are feeling, and hopefully they can point you in the right direction. I have found this site to be a godsend, even if I don't comment, just to be able to read others' stories, gives me support. YOU ARE NOT ALONE HERE!!!! ❤️ xxx

Neetie
Member

Re: Diagnosed 21st June

Hi Sib, I haven't been back to work yet but hopefully try tomorrow. So scared as only the manager knows and everyone is asking questions as to why I am not there. I wanted to tell people myself as and when ready to but I think that tomorrow will be extremely difficult when I start to tell people. I know they will be very sympathetic but sometimes that only makes you feel worse and not sure I can cope with everybodies sympathy. Manager is really good though saying I can do short days so will leave it too upsetting.  Good luck with your op on Friday, that is really quick. Take care and thank you for support xx

Neetie
Member

Re: Diagnosed 21st June

Hi Jill, I have just tried to phone my GP but cannot get an appointment for today so got upset again. I spent 3 hours at hospital yesterday as was convinced I had bowl cancer with having bad upset stomach for 6 days. Hospital did calm me down and advised I see my own GP today but just cannot get in. It feels so lownly at times and just feel like there is nobody that understands. This is why I have joined this site to speak to ladies who do know how it feels. I have arranged for a doctor to phone me after surgery today so I can explain how I am feeling. Thank you for your message, it really does help x

Anniej
Community Champion

Re: Diagnosed 21st June

Neetie, sorry to hear your news, but as my Consultant said, if you're going to have cancer, then this is the one to have! Tips for staying calm do vary from person to person, but these were the best ones for me: keeping a diary of my journey. I wrote in it in the wee hours of the morning when sleep escaped me. I ranted and raged in it when I couldn't with my hubby. I also used this site to gather pertinent questions for my meetings with the medical team. Exercise - walk to get stronger in body and mind. Nutrition - healthier options. There's hours of reading in recipe books! 😊 My tumour was ductal and oestrogen +ve, so I started to do food swaps based on this. Weapons of war - buying for England. Soft face cloths, clothes pre and post op, Manuka honey, ALoe Vera toothpaste , baby  toothbrushes , non scented paraban free toiletries. Not cheap this cancer thingy!! Other ladies have found meditation, mindfulness, yoga and Pilates very helpful. I go to my Maggies centre and do Pilates twice a week when chemo allows. Finally, be good to yourself . Put things in the diary - meet friends, go to a concert and enjoy life. Stay strong. Best wishes . X

PS. Do not Google .😡

Sib
Member

Re: Diagnosed 21st June

I am having mastectomy and lymph nodes removed on Friday. I was only diagnosed last week 22nd. I am going to work this week to keep me occupied.  It's scary but the alternative really doesn't bear thinking about. You will get great support on here with lots of factual information and great tips.    Be strong together we will beat this. Sending a hug  Xxxx 

Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Diagnosed 21st June

Welcome Neetie !!Its very hard to stay calm when you have just been diagnosed ,the first couple of weeks are horrible ,overwhelming but after that the anxiety levels do die down and you begin to feel more calm and in control .A lot of us have resorted to medication from GP to help through the first few days -if you are really struggling give GP a ring .Talk to us here we have been there and understand .A month does seem like a lifetime doesn't it ,I was diagnosed on the 28th May 2 years ago and had op on 18th June .I stayed at work til day before op (not quite sure how I got through it was in a bit of a daze ) but at least it gave me something else to think about .Try and keep busy ,don't spend too much time on your own,get out and walk it helps bring down levels of adrenaline .You will feel better -I promise.Jill.
Neetie
Member

Diagnosed 21st June

I am so scared as have been diagnosed with grade 3 agressive breast cancer and need a mastectomy. Booked in to have lymph nodes removed on 17th July, for testing before big opp. Can't help my mind wondering off and wish it would all go away. Its such a shock that has hit me really bad.  Need all the support I can get so thought I would join this site to be in touch with other ladies in the same situation as myself. Doctors have told me that it is very treatable but I just want this thing gone tomorrow and not have to wait a month. Anybody got any advice on how to stay calm...