You will find all the help both information and companionship here. Your not going through this alone. I also felt like that mix between calm and manic although I must admit my percentages were more evenly mixed! I've just had surgery and looking to plan the next stage of treatment and the manic is calming down. I too have worked in a "mans" world and very few female friends so take all the support you need from here and when you feel able attend a support group meeting, I found a great contact there who has given me great support and advice. Get all the help you can and you will come through this stronger than ever. xx
Really Stupid - Did not check my breasts after false alarm five years ago scared the hell out of me - now have Grade 3, 5cm tumour plus lymph involvement and tests to establish what else, following routine NHS mammogram (even though my last test was less than three years ago). I have had a bad week - went out for a walk to calm down and even a sea gull dropped something on my head - I really thought I was too young for this - I exercise regularly - eat sensibly - and there is no family history of breast cancer (just a lot of stress from flying all over the country over the last ten years). I just need someone to communicate with, I work in a mans engineering world, so have no female friends to speak of, and feel like I need to hide with shame having been reduced to this. If I see anyone I know while I am having treatment I will freak out and run. I am between contracts at the moment so certainly won't get any work now. 90% of me says that I can get through this, but the other 10% is out of control.