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this is my first post although i've been reading for a while and find other peoples experiences inspirational, so i thought i would share my story.
I am 47 and received an appointment for a routine mammogram in january, my first thought was "cheeky buggers i'm not 50 yet". I then found out that my name had been randomly selected as part of a trial to lower the age range in my area.
Had mammogram on 16th feb and was recalled a week later. Had 3 biopsies on the 27th feb, had no idea i had any lumps, one biopsy was from the lymphs. Was diagnosed with IDC x2 on 7th march. Had MX on 19th march with level 2 axillary clearance. Had results on 28th march and was told it was stage 2 and in all was 46mm, 2 out of 12 lymphs were positive. Had CT scan last week, MRI and first oncology appt all next week. I am worried about MRI results as i broke my foot in nov and its refusing to heal properly so my mind is working overtime, although i keep telling myself that if there is anything else its better to find it now and get all treatment together.
Ive been very brave today and just had my hair cut very short in preparation, now sporting a judi dench cut ..... looks n feels very strange.
Thanks for reading this and for all the hope in your messages.
I am half way through my treatment, Mastectomy October, Axillary clearance November, and had my last chemo (of 6 ) 15th March. I will start rads 10th April. I am still on herceptin (target therapy)until next year and then tamoxifen.
My point is that it's all "do able" yeah there are dark moments which we are allowed and if crying helps go with it but at the end of the day you are still the same person as you were the day before diagnosis. The hardest part is waiting for a plan and the worry of spread but with that said I think it has made me more positive and aware of what really is important - "don't sweat the small stuff" in the bigger scheme of things do they really matter?? Party like you've never done before!!!
hi wintersocks....great name. gosh we sound so similiar.what type and grade are you and did you have bone and ct scans too. perhaps we can swap mobile numbers.... hope thats not too cheeky. hugs jane xxx
I thought I would post an update...
I had my mastectomy and axillary clearance on Weds 21st March and everything went well. I'm now home, with very little pain, I still have a wound drain which is not a problem and up early this morning as I slept so much whilst in hospital. Having the breast removed strangely feels like a positive step to recovery and I have not yet felt any psychological impact.
My pre op CT scan came back clear which has given me a huge boost and hope that I can get through this and come out the other end. Just got to get through the bone scan.
I have my appointment next Thursday and will know more then about the stage and number of nodes involved. Chemo, rads and reconstruction all to follow.
For all you ladies trying to come to terms with a new diagnosis, for me starting my treatment has made me feel so much better.
Love and best wishes to you all
Hi WS & Janeypaney
I was like a wailing banshee when I got my dx, im sure the bcn must have thought I was always crying as everytime she saw me i was , it lasted about 2 weeks just floods of tears for no reason. I dont know why it changed or when but it seemed to just lift... I was scared and still am but the tears are few and far between, we all have our own way of dealing with things and there is no wrong way just whats right for us, this site has been amazing and has helped me tons... Just wanted to let you know really that to me the crying seems to be a part of accepting we are only human , but us girls are made of strong stuff and when the going gets tough we all pull together and kick butt !! just look at the amazing women on this site
Love to all xx
Hello, to you!
Your post made me cry and took me right back to my own diagnosis (Feb) My reaction was very similar to yours, I actually would have run away if my partner had not been with me,
When I went to see the oncologist for the first time she asked to examine me and I would not let her, I just bawled and couldn't stop. So there! I have done it too. Because no-one else seems to have done this doesn't mean they haven't. I should imagine it is not an uncommon re-action. I still cannot read my report in full, and I am frightend that initial diagnosis, can readily change reading others posts. I do not yet know any results from the scans and cannot bring myself even to talk to the bcn. I feel like a coward, when I see how other women are doing. You are right it is a brick wall, and we do have to find a way of climbing it.
Please reach out to others, on here they can help.
Thanks everyone for your posts.
Lottie63 that's great news. I'm going to try your method and cross my fingers and toes too.
Jane - don't be too hard on yourself we all do our best to manage the situation to the best of our abilities. For me the anticipation of not knowing is worse and once I have the information I can start to deal with it. You will find the courage to knock down that brick wall! Do you have someone to go with you to your appointment and scan?
Thinking of you all
Hi Lottie of course we won't mind, the more the merrier on this journey. There's still a few days after you for even more starters.
Love Carolyn xxx
LOL I have just gatecrashed !!! hope they dont mind
Love Janice x
Good luck to all you ladies. I'm now about to have 2nd chemo on Thursday after being diagnosed in November then tests galore and op on 16 Jan. The waiting is horrible but every step of the way the staff you meet are fabulous. Keep posting here as well because remember we are all going through exactly the same emotions whether good or bad. The ladies here are great a wealth of experience.
Lottie63 maybe you can now join us on the March chemo thread.
Love to all
Thank you janeypaney,
Its a relief i can tell you, im a really positive person but had all these little niggling doubts creeping up on me, feeling better already weird cos ive got all the chemo to go through etc but feel bit stronger mentally
Keep posting, this site is a god send isnt it 🙂
great news lottie keep us posted loads of hugs to you jane xxx
Well good news results for ct/muga scan came back clear so thats a relief, I start chemo 27th- Next tuesday, 6 rounds of FEC-T , they actually got bloods from me 1st time... couldnt believe it so not having port fitted for chemo unless I have problems at chemo unit. I did it managed to walk from car to hospital with all my toes crossed and it obviously worked !!
Good luck with your treatment/scans etc keep posting
Hugs Janice x
hi spring 123 i was diagnosed 11th jan 2012 with grade 3 lobular, i had my mx on the 3rd feb and are still full of fluid.i had mri and wa told it was between 2 and 4 cm and after op it was 9cm.ive had a ct scan to which im waiting for results. i like you are terrified of spread as i have a lot of backache and our mind goes into overdrive doesnt it. i was due a bone scan but had a complete melt down and i didnt go.
i have an appointment with my onc on the 28th march but feel like just running away, i read all the time here and i dont think ive ever read someone who has been too scared to go and cancelled like i have.
i kmow we have to face up to this but over these last few weeks i think ive built a brick wall and it seems far to high to climb over.
i just cant seem to find the courage to face it all.
i did read my report i had 5 out of 15 lymph nodes affected and in brackets it said with capsular spread and although ive posted here to ask if anyone else had it no one seems too have. since my op my wrist aches a lot and im not sure if this is down to the op.oh dear dont i go on lol.i hope your scans are fine were all in this together and the girls here are more than wonderful i just wish i could be as strong as they are. jane xxx
Your diagnosis sounds very similar to mine (I was diagnosed Feb this year). I have had an MRI scan and CT, but not a bone scan as lots of the women seem to have had. I do not yet know what is on them
When I 1st saw the doc the very 1st day they told me, I asked her 'Is that why I have back-ache?' - translating as 'has it spread?' She said it has nothing to do with the diagnosis of bc today. I felt that to be a comfort.
Like you, my biggest issue was one of spread. That was too overwhelming to contemplate, like someone else not me. So what I have done is this: just broken it all down, and tried to face 1 thing a day, like for example: today is my MRI, next week is my CT.
I have still not been able to look at my pathology report in full (but know stage 2 - with 1 node) reading more made me physically ill. I felt like a wuss not being able to as it were: cope with the whole thing. But one of the ladies on here said to me look at what you can, when you can. I thought that excellent advice and that is what I am doing. In other words sometimes shock prevents peeking into the future, and not to worry about what is round the corner too much. Also I live with my 14 yr old son and I have to try to deal with it for him. At the moment here is a lot of uncertainty for us newbies, it's very very frightening to be told 'cancer'. But try to be kind to yourself and allow time to absorb the initial shock before looking further. - It's worked for me! - but sometimes I feel very afraid. But that's ok. keep looking to what the ladies say on here. They have been there, they can help us.
Best Wishes and love to you,
It's good to chat with people in similar situations (it's a shame that we are all in this situation, but we have to manage with what life deals us including the ups and downs) I'm already feeling more positive typing just my feelings.
Do you have a date for your chemo to start?
Thanks Janice, sorry to hear about your diagnosis too.
Your comment about having your fingers and toes crossed and wondering how you will walk made me laugh. I'll cross all mine for you too - hoping it's positive news for you today!
I don't have an appointment with the onc as yet - the surgeon said it would be in about 2 weeks time.
Take care and let me know how you get on
Im sorry to hear of your dx, I was diagnosed on 21st feb grade 3 inv, with nodes 3/20 involved, after surgery 1cm was actually 3cm tumour, margins all clear so no more ops had wle/affected nodes removed, friday had heart scan and yesterday ct, today im back for meeting with onc and results .... im scared naturally thinking its spread as you say any little ache or pain rings alarm bells, so its all fingers and toes crossed this am, how im gonna walk lord knows lol !!
I too will need chemo, rads and then ? this will all be decided today, there are many ladies on here unfortunately in the same position, some much worse and im sure they will be along soon to welcome you ! and advise, When do you see your onc ? keep in touch and let us know how your doing,
Im 37 Im married with two children 11 and 10 i was diagnosed in dec im waiting for chemo you have joined the right site you get lots of help and advise i have made lots of new friend who are getting me through this
We all have fear it has spread but try to stay positive and you will fight this
Good luck with surgury tomorrow let me know how you get on
lots of love Tracy xx
I’m new to the forum and this is my first post. I’m 41, I’m married with two children aged 13 and 11. I was diagnosed with BC on 09/03/2012 which was a huge shock. The cancer is 55mm and I have a positive spread to a lymph node. I’m having a mastectomy tomorrow, chemo, radiotherapy and then reconstruction surgery in 6 to 9 months time. It seems like a long and frightening journey ahead of me, but reading other posts this is a well trodden path.
My biggest fear is that the cancer has already spread. Any ache or pain that wouldn’t normally bother me, now I’m thinking is a sign of metastasis. I’m trying to tell myself that it’s anxiety. I had a CT scan last week and due to have a bone scan.
I would love to hear from others in a similar situation or stage of treatment.