Had a Cancer sleep last night - first one for a over a week (ie didn't sleep)
When I was up I phoned the BCN always good to have someone with a sympathetic voice who doesn't hug/love/cry but just talks about how things are. and listens
Anyway result is I have the worried for appointment, and I may have a bit of fluid in my arm pit from biopsy but not to worry as it's not the size of a golf ball (she was joking!) Practical though told me to keep an eye on it as may need to be drained if it does get that big.
Felt better, hoping for a sleep tonight, must be ready for Father Christmas (Even over 60's need him to lighten things if you have Beast cancer) !!!!!!!
Great to hear all went well yesterday Rose - was thinking of you. Be kind to yourself this week and as hard as it will be..rest!!!
I did laugh about you worried in case anything falls off!!!! I had to gear myself up to look at my wound (which they left undressed with this spray on clear plastic stuff!) and taking a shower/washing hair was a drawn out faff each morning but as each day passes by it is certainly looking better. The only thing I am finding comfy to wear is these cropped stretchy tops from Primark - they were only £1!!! Mind you they are a fluro orange colour (hence the price!) but at least the colour distracts from my wound!!
Have a wonderful time with your family over Christmas and hopefully you feel better in yourself now the op is out of the way.
Rose you are a star!!! And boy oh boy do I wish it was just haemorrhoids we were having to deal with eheheh 😉
Lorraine and Sarah I hear you re the sleep - I am exhausted and looking forward to a rest over Christmas. Wishing you all the same - enjoy and lets all look forward to a very healthy 2015 xxx Karen xxx
Home now, feeling a bit sore and tired but otherwise fine. SO glad it's over, for now! All went well, according to the doctors, and I'm strapped up in this ghastly bra thingy, daren't loosen it to take a look in case anything falls off! Taking it easy today, but can't see that lasting. I don't do sitting around. For anyone else still waiting, please don't worry. The haemorrhoid op I had a few years ago was much more unpleasant. One day I'll have something done where I can show off my scars! Love, Rose xx
Hi Lorraine! Good to hear from you. How are you doing?
I'm all packed and ready for tomorrow, looking forward to getting it over with. It's the anaesthetic I'm dreading, hate that feeling of going to sleep against my will! Other than that, I'm just going with the flow. I'm in the hands of people who know what they're doing, I'll just let them do what they need to. I visited a friend for a few hours this afternoon, family are fussing too much and getting on my nerves, even though I know they mean well.
I'll be back here in a couple of days to see how everyone's doing.
Much love, Rose xx
I started sleeping again last weekend - a whole week of sleep (great), wonder if it 's something to do with fact Lymph Nodes were stage one to me of getting on with my life, so feel more relaxed. Mind you once Mastectomy date set may not.
As for clothes, my lovely daughter came with me and we bought some really nice cardigans and scarves to brighten them up. Primark was one place, as I wanted to buy stuff I may not want to look at in a years time, and I bought a Glitzy one as well for Christmas do's.
Just went out to but some more suitable soft seamless bra's. I bought one a week ago from Sainsbury's that was pretty.
Today have looked at Matalan and M&S and OH had to guide me out of both shops sobbing. I did not realise how close to 'the surface' these emotions were!!
Is it too much to ask to have another pretty, feminine soft seamless sport type bra at this time??
We live too far fromSainsbury for a visit but OH said next weekend
Jusy had to say.........
Still waiting for date for mastectomy, had Lymph nodes removed on last Tuesday and feel fine, just a bit sore (and smelly!1) in the arm pit.
Facebook page looks a good idea but have never used it, not registered or anything!
I read all the posts on here with great interest and can relate to most of the comments, such a mixed bag of emotions, up one day down the next. I have now met my plastic surgeon who is very positive of the outcome of my reconstruction (Deip) which I will have at the same time as the mastectomy, am now just waiting for the date, I still feel as if I am talking about someone else. Best wishes to all for christmas and lets hope for some good health in 2015!!
Spirit is willing body/energy levels weak but I will always be dancing in my head Rose - I am thinking of you each day Kx
Been at my daughter's today, discussing her cooking Christmas dinner (my job!) and the twins each wrote me a card saying "I love you" in their best handwriting. That started me off.
Enjoy your holiday, Sarah, hope the ready-roasts are good! Seabreeze, thanks for your encouragement, it's good to hear from someone recovering well from what sounds like a similar case to mine. Karen- keep dancing!
Tomorrow will be spent either in silent contemplation or manic activity- just going with the flow. If I'm not back on here before then, I hope everyone has the best possible Christmas xxx
Two days to go, bag packed, and it still feels unreal. I've read masses of literature about the various things that I'm about to go through and it's like it's all happening to someone else, apart from the occasional stomach churn. The emotional wreck has turned into an ice maiden and I don't know why. It's a good thing in some ways, I'm tearing round getting things done, but can't help wondering when reality will smack me in the face and I'll fall apart. Anyone else go through this dream-like state? xx
oooh, will look that up. By the way, that comedienne was brilliant, I forgot to thank you ! xx
Sarah - glad that you have a plan of action and are happier re the left boob etc.
Rosemary - still smiling re the journey of weirdness... thinking of having a T-shirt made with that on it 😉
Regards to you both - Karen xx
A few people have started a facebook group apparently so I have asked to join that - the thread for details is post xmas chemo
Hi Sarah. Oh, isn't it such a relief when you know what's happening and when? Glad you're getting sorted out with a plan for work, you will honestly feel so much better when you've got control of your daily life instead of having to be at work. it's so lovely to be able to choose to nap during the day if you can't sleep at night and just to be able to lay out your own day at your own pace, before the medical machine will take over. I'm happy for you too that you get to keep Leftie! My bag is now packed, got visits to make to close friends and family over the next couple of days then I'll be ready for Monday. Went to see the twins in their Christmas Carol Concert today, such fun! And this morning my son and I created mayhem in the local Toys R Us while choosing his presents for them. Oh and I got my first wage including sick pay today and it wasn't quite as bad as I expected cos I got a tax rebate, so you should too. Every little helps. I don't want to sound flippant here, but husbands (mine at least) aren't always that much help in the support department. Some of them (mine, again!) are harder to deal with than the diagnosis. Good friends are so valuable at this time, also sons are amazing! Keep us updated as and when you feel able. Love Rose xx
Rose, I love your description 'journey of weirdness' hehe as it most certainly is *siggghhhhhh 😄
Thanks for thinking of me - really appreciate it Rose - likewise Kx
Hi Sarah & Rose
Sarah it took me a couple of days to recover from the party haha 😉 Feel better for having seen all my friends though in one go... and spiritually it has done me the world of good as there was not a pitying look in the building 😄
Rose well done you - I was thinking of you - 22nd right?? Sending all my well wishes xxx
I contacted Breast cancer support and spoke to a lovely volunteer who had BC in 2011 with similar treatment plan to mine and is out the other side - meant alot to know that others with a 50:50 prognosis beat this!!!
Tomorrow I have an appointment with headstrong and a wig stockist just in case the cld cap doesnt work... Friday its the pre chemo meet with the breast care nurses - Tuesday heart echocardiograph test and then 30th my first chemo.... Cant believe how fast everything is moving. Few days of peace for us all over Christmas I hope - Hugs Karen x
Went to a Support Group meeting today, really good experience. met up with some ladies who were just a couple of weeks after surgery and they were all so well and reassuring. Only 4 days left till it's my turn. How's everyone doing? x
Hi Sarah! Oh yes, twins are so, so much fun. Are your girls identical? Our two are and are already extremely good at playing on that. We're off on the Santa Express steam train tomorrow, probably my last fun day out for a while. I'm so pleased you're getting sorted at work. I didn't know hospital appts were covered, I've been using holiday entitlement. Tell you what, when I finally decided I'd had enough and handed over my sick note I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted. It's wonderful to know that when I can't sleep at night I can nap during the day. Also, I don't miss the sympathetic looks, and the "how are you?"s in that awful quiet concerned tone. And the sudden bearhugs and tearful faces. All well-meant, I know, but I'm NOT DYING!!! I love the guy who said "You didn't have to go to these extremes to get out of going to the Xmas party. Next time, just say no". If you can afford it, get yourself signed off and enjoy some time for yourself, even if that's just watching rubbish daytime TV under a blanket on the couch. My cheer-up time is dancing round the kitchen singing my head off to loud rock CDs, while the neighbours are out at work. Lord knows what the window-cleaner thought. Like Elaine said, there's still a lot of energy left in us 60-year-olds!
I hope you get some decent rest this weekend. Figure out what jobs can wait, and do them later, much later. Someone once said "After 7 years the dust doesn't get any thicker". I'm putting that to the test.
Talk to you soon, Rose xx
Sorry you have have to join us but you will echo the other ladies in that you will get great comfort and support knowing you are not going through this alone.
I noticed you messaged at 5.30am!!!! The early mornings are the worst although I did post a message a few weeks back at 2am!! I was averaging about 3 hours a night and went to see GP as I couldn't function with so little sleep and was growing a pair of horns (so I was told!). The GP prescribed me Zopiclone sleeping tabs. I was reluctant to take them but my neighbour who works as cabin crew said the pilots take them as they dont cause any grogginess, etc. I limit them to twice a week so at least I know I will get a good 8 hours. I was also prescribed some Diazepam (I was in a v anxious state when I saw GP!) but I have resisted these and seem better in myself as the weeks have gone by. Its the lack of sleep that is awful. The first week after diagnosis (14th Nov) was just the worst. I was just totally consumed by this dreadful disease and was trying to fathom out why?? Fit, healthy, non smoker, breastfed kids, etc but I guess it doesnt discriminate...
Don't be hard on yourself and go and see your GP. I sincerely hope work are sympathetic and supportive towards you but go and see HR. The last thing you need is pressure from work with everything else going on. I am fortunate in that I work from home 2 days a week as a private PA. My boss lives overseas so I can slob about in my PJs at my desk without having to getting dressed (not been easy this week after op on Monday!) and he has been great.
Keep us posted!
Thank you- I feel ancient right now. On the other hand I feel fortunate to have reached 60 and still have (most of!) my faculties! xx