Hi Everyone - I was diagnosed with breast cancer on Thursday. I am fit, healthy, 45 year old dance and fitness instructor with 3 children (single mum) - I live in Merseyside - my mum died of BC 21 years ago aged 42… Not sure how I feel inside but I am strong and ready to fight…No other option
Have my full biopsy results this Friday - so far talk is of mastectomy, chemo and recon - I have asked for doubloe at some point - so far has been university (I am studying PGCE), work cover, organising friends to support kds, schools, legal, etc etc so I am keeping practical and busy… and brave for my boys.
If anyone would like to say hi that would be great… Kx
Hi Salsaroja and welcome to the BCC forums
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Hi Salsaroja. So sorry to hear your news and welcome to a place you never expected to visit. I was only diagnosed on November 15th and things move really fast.My operation is already booked for December 4th . You will find lots of help and advice on this forum. I have looked at many and this one is definitely the best. If I can be of any help just ask _ not that I know much but am learning very quickly.Stay strong and I hope you have support at home. Sending hugs. Dee x
Welcome K!
So many of us here are very fit and active- irrationally - makes it harder to believe the bc diagnosis. However I do think that a good fitness level makes a big difference to post surgery recovery. Good luck with your journey. This is a great place for feeling a shared strength but also a place where you do not have to put on a tough front on the difficult days.
Hi k, this is a great forum, ive been leaning on it for a couple of weeks now and talking to all these strong women is so Uplifting.
I went in for my results yesterday and had another biopsy instead…so waiting another week.
Hopefully your news is positive.
Im also 45, have 2 girls 10&11. Felt odd telling them, but they’re actually coping better than some of the adults. The advantage of never watching any terrible medical dramas.
Sending love and hugs. Xxx this is the place you can say how you really feel and we all get it.
Hi Deedee, Sandie, Rose, K, Maggie
I’m a couple of months ahead of you - diagnosed and surgery within 3 weeks back in September. I’m 47 with 2 kids aged 9 and 12. Also keep fit and active with gym, yoga, riding, skiing. It’s not fair is it?
What to expect? It’s different for all of us. Some have chemo followed by surgery others surgery followed by chemo, or one or the other. Talk to your specialists, I was told to see as many surgeons as I wanted to as there’s no rush - they do it quickly for your mental health rather than physical need. My surgeon said by the size of the tumour is had it over a year, so a few weeks if research won’t hurt.
Find out what’s right for you. I had a full mastectomy, my surgeon did a reconstruction at the same time. Some surgeons don’t offer this, my friend had to wait 18 months for her new boob.
I’ve had one session of chemo about six weeks after surgery, next one next week (got delayed because of an infection). Hopefully will get number three done before Christmas.
I’ve only just found this site, wish I’d looked earlier! So good to share info and read everyone’s experiences.
Good luck with your results and appointments, make a list of questions and ask them all.
Dawn x
Many thanks to you all for responding… Lucy, Dee, Annie, Maggie, Sandie, Dawn and Rose.
Its funny but I am not scared - I had a feeling BC would get me at some point and at 40 I fought my GP for the right to get early mammograms and be put on the family history clinic - I am full of fight and determination.
I know its going to be challenging and I will have down days, and that is why I wanted to reach out to others in the same position… There will be days that I need you to tell me whats what, how you dealt with things and remind me that the crappy times dont last forever… All tips appreciated ie I have read about cold caps, cosmetic make up, sheep skin pads, etc etc and believe me, despite being the most independant person, I will be asking for help where I can I have no family but some great friends and feel blessed.
I am wishing you all the very best of luck and its lovely that you all said hello - keep in touch
Kx
I just wanted to say hi and say I’m really sorry to hear your diagnosis. Its just awful to hear that news. I too was recently diagnosed with breast cancer on 14th November. I am booked in for a lumpectomy on 8th December and it cant come soon enough. I had not had any symptoms but decided fo book myself a private mammogram as a birthday present for my 45th birthday (!) after hearing on the news about Michaela Strachan (TV presenter) being diagnosed following routine mammogram at 47. I really didnt expect it to come back abnormal so within a week my care had been taken over by the Nottingham Breast Institute and I had a Mammatome biopsy and ultrasound. Looks like the tumor is 13mm so not sure how long it has been there for but just so glad I went when I did.
I think I am still in shock and like you not sure how I feel but it is consuming me…my sleep is awful and I am feeling very anxious. Keeping busy and practical is defintely the way forward. Some days I feel positive and other days I dont but guessing this is normal.
Like you I am also very physically fit, healthy (or so I thought!) and a single mum of 2 children (9 and 11). Things in my life had only just settled down nicely after a horrendous past few years (divorce, house move and lost mum and sister) and now this?!?
Let me know how you get on this Friday. I think there will be a lot of support from this site.
L x
PS: I am also from Merseyside (a Liverpool gal!) but now live in Chesterfield.
Hi everyone,
A few new names appearing in the chain, hello to you all. I was diagnosed in mid spring, so I’m further down the line and pop back to say hi and help with q’s where I can…
Salsaroja - My friends have been my family through my journey…I consider myself fully adopted by them (and the cat)! This site is really helpful for queries and the occasional story with people who simply get it.
Welcome (and simultaneously sorry you’ve had to join us).
Seabreeze
Here I am 1am feeling … Well I don’t know how I’m feeling one minute so positive and the next a heap my husband has been my rock and has just come down asking if I was alright and said come back to bed you need your rest ,I know he is right but I am worried about the results I get after my lumpectomy last week I’m distraught at the pain my family are going through all I want to do is get back to normal ,I’m worried the BC is another cancer and settled in my breast …what if it’s elsewhere .My logic is out of the window tonight I don’t like nights and early mornings my mind runs riot .My daughter is 7 months pregnant due in Feb I don’t want to upset her any more
Sorry rant over it does help to vent the fears on here
Hi, I am also up unable to sleep and agree the late nights and early mornings are the worst - the times my mind goes into mega overdrive! I think we are all guilty of this but guess its normal under the circumstances. I am managing to keep away from Google (!!) and just sticking to this site which i have found very good. Sounds like you have a great husband there to support you but its hard for family members and close friends to see us going through this nightmare.
Hmmmm this is the darkest before the dawn thing… my doctor offered me sleeping tablets, which I turned down in horror. (Visions of cigarettes, over filled ashtrays and empty gin bottles )
The breast clinic nurse’s first question was ‘are you sleeping?’ She said rested we heal and cope better, and to give them a go.
For me its 4 solid hours of dreamless blissful sleep. And if my man isnt snoring, sometimes I’m relaxed enough to make it through to 5am.
The middle of the night is so hard with your brain set on busy. its when your subconcious slips its leash and runs around like a wet spaniel at a cat convention. ( not a technical term, but should be )
Ask for relaxation techiques, or some tablets for a few good nights rest. your health care providers will know how to help. Xx
Its totally sucky, but we’re all here for each other on the good days and the crappy ones … sometimes at 2am.
Hi everyone - sorry not to be back in touch - had energy on Thursday and on Friday for my hospital appointment but but exhausted since so I have been listening to my body and resting/sleeping. Its good to read all your backgrounds and know I am not alone
Not all my results are back yet but I know the following:
Stage 3 - lump 25mm and in my lymph nodes - HER2 borderline (2+), ER negative, PGR pending and now gone to FISH (hence possibly triple negative)
Mastectomy & auxilary lymph node removal just after boxing day hols and chemo as soon as exterior healed in early/mid Jan - then radiotherapy - then reconstruction and second mastectomy and recon later next year.
Long haul
Today I went for Bone scan, liver and CT scan and all results should be back on Friday…
2 of my children (oldest and youngest) seem to be coping well but middle one isnt… looking at options for him at the moment so that he can get some distance from the situation.
How are everyone elses children managing with the news???
Hello ?..I’ve just found this forum,so thought I’d join and chat to ladies who are a bit like me…
I found out I have breast cancer on Thursday 4th Dec,a shock is an understatement…you never think it’s going to happen to you?.
I’m 46 single mum to a 14 year old beautiful daughter,who is my world.Ive always been quite healthy,exercise,don’t smoke,drink within limits,breast fed my daughter for 13 months…all the stuff that says prevents you from getting Breast cancer…so I guess I’m just one of the unlucky ones?
Have had fabulous support from wonderful friends and family since my results and my daughter although devastated at first,is dealing with it the best that she can.Luckily she has a wonderful father and his family,to give her support also …so we are lucky in those circumstances,where some poor ladies Aernt.
I have an appointment with my consultant and nurse Thursday,so I can make my decision on a chemo followed by Lumpectomy or Masectomy(18th Dec) and will still need chemo after that.Such a lot to think about!
Rachel
Hi Elaine,been at work today,so just got your reply,hope you’ve had a good day?
I’m glad you coped well with your lumpectomy ,and you can work around your chemo,that’s what I’m hoping to do?.
I have so many questions to ask and it’s all so confusing,so have written everything down ready for tommorow.
Your scans will be fine,think a lot of aches and pains are due to stress and worry,but always good to mention to the doc.
How has your sleep been/diet?
Rachel X
Many thanks all for the support - and happy bday Karen !!! I was 45 at end of November - feel ancient now! Feels like I’ve lived 45 years in three weeks! Glad MRI out of the way and going to try to keep very busy over next week so not yo think about anything as much as possible x best wishes sarah
You’ve made me laugh out loud twice on this forum rose - love your sense of humour ! Another non sleeping night for me - figure a gp visit in order but worried about impact on work … Already had lots of time off for hosp appts …
Good luck Karen?..will follow you on the other board when I start my chemo in Jan.
I had an appointment yesterday late afternoon with my consultant and breast nurse to run through everything and make my final desision about my Masectomy.Its all happening fast(which is good I guess),pre op checks this morning and Masectomy/lymph nodes next Thursday…then Chemo Jan…a lot to take in!
The NHS is wonderful though,they’ve been so supportive and helpful since my diagnosis 3 weeks ago.
You ladies are great and put a smile on my face reading your messages!X
Hi rose thx again and you are right - like u say it’s hard to be all motivational when u feel like crap! I’ve got twin girls (15 now!) - they are so much fun still and you will have so much laughter with them! ! I discovered that I am covered with cancer under disability legislation and so I am entilted to hosp appts and have made appt to meet hr manager next Friday - it’s been a hard shift to start to focus on me but I am starting to realise that this is the best way forward - thx again - u have fun with those girls!!!
I have no family but some great friends and feel blessed.