Hi Beryl, don't forget the lipbalm! Someone suggested some squash to make the hospital water taste OK but others have said sherbert lemons to take the taste away.
Right, so we're all off to Rose's for afternoon tea and cake are we? We all promise to take our glasses off when we get there Rose so no need to do any housework, just feed us cake and we'll love you for ever and ever. Do you have a recipe for that other old school favourite Toffee Cream tart with dessicated coconut on top (although I'm told posher schools than mine had grated chocolate on top)?
Well done Sarah - It will help all of you relax more - don't worry about the tears either.
Have packed a bag of snacks and books to read, juice and ice tea. Found the snack difficult because I don't snack crisps and that. Booklet says expect a longer stay with an implant
So that is packed.
Have a shirt type nightie, need to wash dressing gown, have a new toothbrush, and baby wipes. Mind blank about anything else, it will come back to me though
On Saturday OH says we'll have nice meal, thing is he doesn't do cake
Can I come over to yours for cake please Rose?
so happy to hear your good news Gill. Hope your have a lovely chilled out evening now and put your feet up for a well deserved rest! xx
Ooo be right over!
On the meal prep thingy, I'm on a real go slow, get wobbly legs fast. I put things like chicken pieces in a bag with the sauce or marinade, did not pre cook anything. I found even cutting up onions hard work as have to hold them very still whilst cutting. Odd. I moved at nat geo slow mo speed, just enough to make me feel less useless right now 😉
Anyway, very simple I figure it goes in a casserole dish to bake later. Xx
Edit. ?.do you make gingerbread as in cake or biscuits? Looking for a good cakey recipe.
And ginger is anti nausea xxx
Theres always a good reason for cake! Or a bad one
Great decision, Sarah! You need this time, and it sounds like the girls will appreciate it too.
It's too hard at this point to try and carry on your pre-diagnosis life. We are fundamentally changed when we are given The News, and yes, you need to allow yourself the time to absorb it fully.( I say that as someone who STILL, despite tests, surgery, soreness and having seen the battered and bruised state of Leftie, is in denial that I have/had cancer!) It's lovely to be able to just pick up and drop tasks as you feel the need, rather than be driven by work performance needs.
Leftie feels a bit weird today, I assume it' s because the swelling's going down, it feels kinda tight. Might have a word with my BCN tomorrow. Not spoken to her yet since we were introduced at my results meeting. She'll have forgotten who I am.
Take it easy for the next few days, no frantic housework and filling the freezer with a month's meals! Promise? Only do what you have to.
Love, Rose xxxx
It is totally the little things.m
My surgeon said he was sorry my christmas wasnt what I would have hoped and was a bit stunned when I said the silver lining had been more time and more focus on our children and our small pleasures.
Its been a really nice time, I'm always over committed and now Im not.
I am self employed so I ve lost a lot if my gardening business, but a friend has stepped up for part time stuff for my special clients. I may be broke but Im not going to dwell on that.
Let us all eat cake!
(Kettle is on )
I guess you could ask them to email a copy of the pathology report to you now? The problem with that is that they are quite scary to read unless you've got a medical bod around to explain what the terms/language mean, so that might actually be worse than just waiting for a fortnight 😞
I think Sarah is right and it is just luck of the draw as to how quickly these things get done but at least it sounds as if you've had really good care from your clinical team so far so perhaps that's some consolation. And I'd agree with your interpretation - they seem to move pretty quickly when there is a need to so hopefully that means all is well 🙂
I'm consoling myself with the thought that they can't have found anything sinister? But it's annoying that, once more, my results are known to all significant parties except me for 2 weeks. Annoying! xx
Aaargh! Really don't understand why it takes so long Rose, my hospital says results available 7-10 days post surgery (but then, what they say and what they do haven't actually matched up so far!). Still, at least you have a definite date now 🙂
Just got back from my results appointment - it's benign. I assume from that he means scar tissue which is what they thought in the first place. Never felt so relieved in my life. Going to stop poking and prodding now! Good luck to all the other lovely ladies with results pending.
Just got an appointment letter for my results- 20th Jan!!!
I guess they can't be too concerned about what they found, then...
Sarah, don't be silly! You are not self-centred at all. Can't help harking back to when I worked in a bank, though, I think we were at least on 6 months full pay if sick. Never actually tested that though, this is only the 2nd period of sick leave in my life!
I know exactly what you mean about workmates. They don't know how to behave in the circumstances, but I got to really dislike those who came up to me with a sickly sweet smile and simpering voice. And the rush to open doors that I was quite capable of opening myself. And "Sit down,you shouldn't be rushing about". I am quite capable of deciding when/if I should be sitting down! All well meant, but very irritating. On the other hand there were many who understood that I am exactly the same person and treated me with the usual banter and "disrespect". I loved those.
Just over an hour till you're free, then? It will be such a relief, I floated out of the office once I'd made my decision.
If you can get a Neil Diamond ticket, it would be lovely to meet up. I've seen him a few times and although some people think he's cheesy, he puts on a fabulous show.One of my absolute favourites. Going to gigs of all sorts is my hobby (Ocean Colour Scene in Feb if I'm well enough, Ryan Adams, Paul Simon, and Al Stewart booked so far for this year), and I usually go alone. Not many friends/family share my taste! And there's always someone to talk to if I want. I've made friends world-wide through concert-going, such fun in these days of internet fan-sites.
So glad you're finishing work. Make this time about you, and push next week out of your mind if you can!
Love Rose xx
They got their name from a furniture shop(Barker's) whose signage said "We sell everything but the girl". Long closed, but I can still picture it. xx
...and Tracey Thorn & Ben Watt met at Hull University and started their band Everything But The Girl who are the best band ever so Hull is a magic place as far as I'm concerned :D.
Got to travel to Manchester to see Neil Diamond. He did come to Hull once many years ago, but don't think he liked what he saw as he never returned. I've loved him since 1966 (before most of you were born?!) so it's always an event when he tours. Got my ticket back in October on a pre-sale, Sarah, so good luck if you're chasing one!
I'm on SSP, as my employer doesn't offer sick pay, but hey ho. I was fortunate to get a little lump sum pension payment from a previous employer back in April and, much as I hate dipping into it, it'll tide me over hopefully.
Come to Hull! It's got a lot more to offer than you'd see on these TV documentaries which only focus on the end of the fishing industry and unemployment levels and overweight people!
Today I sense a shrinking of the post-op swelling, felling wonky, but there's more to me than a pair of breasts, so I don't really care.
Have a lovely day everyone! I seem to recall that there are some results in today, but I can't remember whose. Sorry! Hope they're better than you fear?
Love, Rose xx
Hi Sarah, I'm with you, I want to move to Hull too as Rose's experience so far sounds good other than the long wait for results (really wish they'd speed up the pathology results for her, seems to be taking them ages)!
I think I remember you saying you were trying to work for as long as possible so that you can save your sick leave/annual leave for after surgery? I understand why you want to do that but the run up to surgery is stressful so take good care of yourself and if you need some time off now I'd take it and worry about post-surgery leave later (perhaps you could 'borrow' some annual leave from next year to avoid unpaid leave if necessary?)
Look after yourself
Thank you! I don't think I have ever been this lazy in my whole life - I need excitement, not peace!
My op was two weeks ago, 22nd Dec, seems like a lot longer. I was told 4-6 weeks for Pathology, but I hope it's not that long. I wouldn't really say I've ever been in pain, more sore and uncomfortable. Before surgery I went to a support group meeting at the BCU, and all the others had had surgery within the previous month and they were all really well,and I'm the same. I'm very careful to do my physio, and I can't lift with my left arm yet, but honestly I've had tooth extractions which have hurt more.
I hope and expect that you'll be fine too
Love, Rose xx
Good to see lots of dates being set, and planning in place.
Lynda, I woke up with a hospital bra on, after surgery, and it was completely free. Either that or they forgot to bill me for it? I still wear it to sleep in. I stayed in overnight, was warned pre-op that because they were doing the mammoplasty they'd want to keep me in. The ward was lovely (as wards go). It used to be part of a private hospital so I had my own room with en-suite, more like a hotel really, so it was no hardship staying, plus I felt safer under the watchful eyes of the staff. Mind you they did wake me every two hours to check my BP which had dropped to an unacceptable level.
My tumours were also small but Invasive. No 2 was only 4mm which caused them no end of trouble when trying to get the wire in. I was fortunate that the breast with problems was apparently larger than the other (how had I never realised that???) so the reconstuction may mean that I end up more symmetrical than nature intended!
Things to look forward to: on the day I was diagnosed I was wailing to a friend "But I've got tickets for Paul Simon in April, and Neil Diamond in July. What if I'm not here for them?" Reply: "Don't be so stupid, of course you will!" And I shall be. Ironically I'd often said I wanted to see Paul Simon before he or I die. I really thought I'd jinxed it.
Still feeling good apart from the underarm pain and some twinges in the breast but I was warned about those, apparently the nerve endings will try to join up.
Going to start nagging my consultant's secretary soon regarding the results. I'm afraid of appointment letters going astray again.
I hope you all have a peaceful evening
love, Rose xx
Will be wishing you every possible good wish for your results tomorrow and hope it is nothing more than a build up of tissue around the 'foreign object' they found.
Hi Gazzlyn, sounds like yesterday was a tough day but I'm so pleased you've managed to get a date for your surgery at last and things are moving quickly for you.
Sorry about the results but glad that it's getting sorted quickly for you. Pre-op - expect a chest xray/bloods to be taken, height weight measurement - my hosp also checked for MRSA (swap to nose and groin area - wear a skirt maybe....- dont need to remove underwear for this).
My pre-op completely through me as I wasnt expecting all this ...plus I cry at any little thing these days!
You have some lovely things to look forward to - wedding and holiday! I must try to get some good stuff in my diary too...
I had exactly the same as you (though I know that no two are identical,) Grade 2, IDC, ER+ Her2- but mine was 20mm. I had lumpectomy and radiotherapy, tamoxifen for 10 years and that was it. From start to 'finish' 4th June - 18th September. I too am afraid to think positive in case I tempt fate, but every now and again I have a moment of realisation that actually I'm ok and life can be as good as it was before, but you won't take any of it for granted. Start to breath again - you're on your way now!
Lots of love to you all, Gill
Hi Everyone, I had my follow up appointment yesterday a week after being told the dreaded! They were running late so sat around for 2 hours before I was called in! Thank goodness for my amazing daughter who even managed to make me laugh at several stages. I was told I have invasive ductal carcinoma grade 3, this has now freaked me out because I was convinced it would be non invasive as it was small. Now I am worried sick it may have spread despite the surgeon telling me it was highly unlikely. Surgery planned originally for end of January but when I explained about my holiday end of April and cancellation fees etc he has managed to slot me in for next Wednesday so I receive my results sooner. Hopefully all will be clear in the lymph nodes and I will be able to have my holiday (a goal to look towards). I will be having larger surgery than initially thought but it will give a good clearance hopefully and i will have a smaller boob . I will be lopsided but he said I can have the other one done at a later date. As I am quite big busted it will be nice to be a size smaller although I would rather have won the lottery and paid for breast reduction rather than this awful disease forcing the issue. I had bloods taken, swabs and ECG and go back wednesday for pre-op (no idea what that involves). The surgeon was fantastic as was the health care assistant, even though they were running so late I never once felt rushed and they answered our book full of questions taken care of by my secretary (my daughter ). I was told that I will probably have to stay overnight due to the extent of the surgery and the distance I live from hospital, however if they get any cancellations and I have the op early in the morning then I may be able to go home later that day. They spoke to me about having a tight surgical bra and it seems the hospital can provide them at a cost of £20, very tight but aparently excellent with front fastenings. You take it in with you to surgery and they put it on you before you wake up. I definately this I will opt for this as I wont need to stress myself out looking for bras!
I popped into work on the way home and it made me realise that I have made the right decision to go off sick. As lovely as it was to see everyone it made me realise that I just couldnt cope with all the stress at work at this moment in time. One of my colleagues has given me a "worry doll" who aparently I tell her my worries and she takes them away for me! poor doll, she will certainly have her work cut out!!! but what a lovely thoughtful gift.
Gill all the very best for your results tomorrow, I hope its the best news for you. Anyone else who is waiting for results, again I will you the best news.
Today is going to be spent with my amazing daughter and georgous grandson wedding dress shopping (for her, not me) something nice to focus on. Hope you all have a good day with positive thoughts xxx
I also feel as if all this is happening to someone else and I'm two weeks post-op. I think it's a coping mechanism. I thought it'd become real when they took off the dressings, but no. I still don't believe at heart that I have or (hopefully) had BC.
I'm impressed with the speed your results are coming through. I was told 4-6 weeks for pathology. Plus I waited 5 weeks from diagnosis to surgery. it's quite amazing how timeframes vary around the country.
How old are your children? Mine are grown-up but it was dreadful telling them. I kept thinking how wrong it was to make my children cry. They've been wonderful, Daughter very practical, son an ever ready shoulder to lean on. Husband? Hmmm!!!
Carry on indulging yourself, sometimes we need to be a bit more selfish than we are used to being.
Love, Rose xx
Yep, I know that feeling of it being unreal and actually, I don't think it matters much as it helps us get through it all. And I think every last one of us has had, and continues to have, those days of feeling scared/ angry/ doomed/ helpless and just wondering how we will get through it. I definitely do and I'm about a month further down the line than you but I read these boards and realise that somehow or other we do.
I don't have children and I think it must be so much harder for you as you have to be 'Mum' even when you want and deserve to be comforted yourself. Are they old enough to understand what you are going through and to help and support you a bit? I don't think your day has been in the least self-indulgent, this is a scary and life changing thing to happen to you and no one would expect you to carry on as if nothing has happened, it's time to let yourself go to the head of the queue for care and attention 😄
Thanks for that, Gill
I keep being asked if it's likely I'll be able to work during radiotherapy. I guess it depends on the time of the appointments from what you said, ie, if it's an early one, then a quick snooze and a pm start, and vice versa if I have afternoon appointments? I shan't commit to anything yet, think it'll be a case of seeing how I feel.They've got someone temporarily covering my job for 3 months, so I'm under no pressure to rush back before I'm ready. Problem is I'm ready mentally NOW, just the stupid old body letting me down, and I am not known for my patience! (I know, 2 weeks out of surgery is too soon, but...)
Thank you again
Love, Rose xx
Radiotherapy was a breeze. I would go to school in the morning then drive 30 miles to Taunton for 36 seconds of treatment and then straight home to my children (11 & 7). Yes I was really tired and if the treatment was held up for whatever reason I would sleep in the waiting room. They called me Snoozy. I went pink in the last week and itched like you do with heat rash/sunburn. It was exactly how they described it. The itching and pinking continued for a further 10 days and stopped right on cue! I used Aquamax which they gave me and it was all I needed. I do still have a slightly sun tanned boob but itching etc completely gone. I used the cream before the treatment started which I think was good advice because I really didn't have any problems at all. I do appreciate that I was very lucky with my timescale. I just pray that I'm not heading back around for a second time.
Hi Hope and welcome 🙂
Sorry you're having a low day and telling your children so close to Christmas must have been a strain on you and them, did they take the news OK?
Rose, a member on here, has some fab advice on SNB wounds, apparently breast pads are very helpful.
I wish you all the luck in the world for your results on Friday and am sending you a virtual (as in feels nice but doesn't touch any of the sore bits) hug
Blakie - look at the hospital visits as another step on the way to defeating the Beast, not the other way. I look at it as the more they test the more they find out about my Beast, the more likely a good conclusion.
We have all been in a mess and still are sometimes but hang on look forward and beyond - a target of a holiday sounds good.
I've set myself targets as well, seems to help, some are so small they seem nothing.
Still waiting for op date but had a new bone densitromy date today - previous one was cancelled because of Norovirus.
The week I had my diagnosis was the week my lovely old dog was put to sleep. To say it was a **bleep**ty week was an understatement. I didn't seem to have made the time to grieve for him.
I have 2 cats but really I still need my lovely dog.
My big target is to get the treatnment over with, get movement back and then have another one maybe in autumn
Feel Happy Folks
Hi Blakie, as Sarah says, horrible club to be in but the members are wonderfully wise and caring so good on you for joining us as we'll all do our best to help you whenever we can. 🙂
These early days are just awful as you try to deal with the shock at the same time as having to think about who to tell and what to say, whilst learning as much as you can about what is happening to you. Just getting your head around all the acronyms is a bit of a challenge I found. But it does get easier as the days pass and I think most of us feel better and more in control the more we know so I think you're right to go armed with lots of questions on Friday.
Hope you get all your answers this week but if I can help with anything in the meantime, don't hesitate to ask