Maggie my dear,
I'm not surprised you had a little meltdown, it was probably overdue! And you've just had an op, which always puts the body into a bit of shock.
You strike me as a very loving funny and lovable soul who probably always worries about other people ahead of yourself and actually allowing yourself to be sad just for you is just the thing.
Remember this is TREATMENT to make you better, and the convincing probability is that it WILL!
We will all have up days and down days. I am sure once you actually start chemo treatment you will feel better emotionally (even if sick as a pig!) because you'll be on the road back to health, even with some pitfalls along the way.
Big hug and much much love, thinking of you
Have really cried for the first time this evening.
So intent on being strong for everyone else.
Husband is being a pain in the arse but that is nothing new and another story.
Onwards and upwards as they say and think I need some time to adjust to what is to come.
Somehow the discomfort from my op has just paled into insignificance. The team I am dealing with however have been so so kind.
Oh honey that bites. Blasted holiday stealing lumps.i know its not that, but it does add insult to injury. so sorry you're feeling down, being strong and brave is so tiring. Gentle hugs lovely xxx wish it was better news.
Oh good. I love to think of you enjoying yourself at a gig and clapping so soon after your op.. well done my lovely! It will have done you the WORLD of good.
Oh that sounds splendid, the Mexican food and the dancing! Hope you're managing some rest too. I should think although you'll be really nervous going in for the Onc visit, you'll be more settled when you know exactly what the treatment plan is.
I am very up and down. STILL getting myself in a state bout lymphedema and having to watch that arm very day for ever in case it blows up into a big balloon. But I reckon I always will be worried bout something. Love to all xxxxx
Thanks Jane. That means a lot to me. I have been feeling a bit battered the past couple of days!
Thankfully my wobble seems to have abated at the moment anyway and I have just had a fabulous night out with my husband and boys. Mexican meal followed by lively concert and yes, I did get up and dance with the girls (now affectionately called Perky and Droopy) safely contained by Royce!. It was a great evening and dancing was so good for me. Might feel it tomorrow though.
I have started taking arnica today and do think that it is helping with the swelling. Something else for the shopping list for you and Annie! Tablets from boots amongst other places.
I get the pathology results from the op on Monday evening so that will be the moment of truth.
How are you doing? Bet you just want to get started?
Thanks for your reassurance girls. Chemo seems pretty inevitable.
I think the boys were hoping that for once I wouldn't be able to embarass them by getting up to dance at the gig - ha, takes more than some evil little (or not so little as it transpires) lump to stop me :-))
I will raise a glass to you ladies as I party to the music...
Very strange experience sitting in my business meeting today - the other people there had no idea at all that I have breast cancer and (fortunately) were blissfully unaware of the glue and stitches that are holding me together under the wonderful Royce brassiere!!! Oh my.
I'm guessing that if any of the microscopic little buggers have got past the nodes then chemo will find tham and blast them before they can set up camp. That's its job.
Good tip for the aloe vera gel.
have another virtual hug, you deserve itXXXX
On top of everything else I am now panicking about lyphoedema (sp) following all my lymph nodes out. Is there anything i can do BEFORE the op to lessen the chances? Any tips anyone?
I am fine about the lumpectomy, i am fine about the radiotherapy, I am fine about the tamoxifan..........it is the axilly clear out (which now equalls lymphoedema to me) and the chemo that i am dreading.
There just seem so mountains in front of me, too many. All for one pathetic little 1 cm lump. Dammit.
Ah thank you..
I think part of the whole thing is exhaustion as well, I haven't really slept at all for two weeks. My head is going round and round with all the information.
I was prepared to be told I had cancer (the radiologist seemed pretty certain at the biopsy appt) but to be told it was grade 3, although only 1cm, and that there was some lymph involvement just seemed like more bad news than I can handle. Every time I have an appt it's more bad news! They did seem pleased that it was Oestrogen positive, i don't really understand why.
I'm so grateful for this site. I can't seem to talk to anyone without becoming a blubbing wreck, so writing things down seems easier somehow, and reading good news stories here (i am feverishly searching for ALL the good news stories!) is a comfort.
I also seem to have COMPLETELY lost my sense of humour.
Bless you all. Once I've got my act together i hope I'll be able to give some support as well as taking it.
Talking of which, can anyone suggesr what type of bras should i buy for post lumpectomy and axilla clearance? Any tips? I'm a 40C (at the moment) so need a bit of support.
Thank you... I have been awake and crying like a complete wet mess most of the night, whilst trying not to wake up my husband. I think I must be in shock or something. Perhaps I'll feel better when if got used to it. I wish we could give each other a hug.