Diagnosed today

[Fuffs123]

Janey

Sending you hugs. I had a complete meltdown in the supermarket before my op! Someone took the last packet of chocolate biscuits I was looking forward to and I sobbed! Soo embarrassing and when a kindly shop assistant offered to go and get some more out of the stockroom, I cried even more! Next day, husband brought 6 packs home from the local shop, in case I went bonkers again, ha ha! X

[janeyf4]

Thank you to all of you for your support, this forum is amazing and full of strong women who are willing to  reach out to others when they are going through so much themselves.  

I have been a bit calmer yesterday and today. I had my ct and heart scan yesterday and my lovely eldest son insisted on coming with me for support. I have to go next Tuesday to have a marker put in my breast before they start the chemo the following week.  I have had a good chat to my daughters and explained everything that is going to happen, they have been so good and helping me to look at wigs online. I have just ordered a lovely wig very similar to the style I have at the moment.  I don't know if the hospital supply wigs on the nhs as nothing has been mentioned up to now but I feel a bit more in control having ordered one. There is nothing more I can do now but wait for the results of the scans and for chemo to start which I am dreading but wanting to start so at least something is being done at last. Take care everyone. Janey xxxx

[storminadcup]

Hi Janey

I'm not sure which must be worse feeling emotional as you do or a fraud and cold like me. Thought my temper fuse is getting shorter and had a tiff ovet the wrong bin being put out for the binmen. OBvisouly that is going to create a mjor recyling crisis in North Yorkshire.

As said on the same ride just different tracks. Between us we're sane!!

So I'll give you a bit of my hard heart for some of your softness

But seriously you throw what you like at us and we'll catch it.

x

[Matty2]

Hi Janey

It hit me lying on an ultra sound biopsy table, then had to walk through a hospital sobbing trying to find my OH.

Also I find lingerie deoartments especially in m&S  - well thet are now ano go area for me.

But as far as children go. My daughter is in her 20;s so maybe older than yours, she was very upset and when I had my op stayed holding my hand for hours while I recovered, It made us ckoser than we have been fora while

Do NOT be ashamed to sob - we have all been there and done it. It goes with the course of the beast, along with sleepless nights.

beryl x

[JETS]

Janey ! Sorry autocorrect on ur name x

[JETS]

Hi Janet x I know eXACTLY what you mean about showing the children u r upset and it upsetting them - I had a v bad experience at the gp yesterday ; won't go into it but am now waiting for a referral to the hospital - it tipped me well and truly over and I bawled my eyes out when I got home - daughters hugging me crying too - horrendous x today I went for a long walk and cried again! But was better for when I got home - smiling and feeling okish - my daughters said that they thought it was good that I lost it 🙂 - they said it wouldn't b normal not to be crying - today I realised that sometimes it's all just too much and crying is your body releasing the stress and anxiety as much as everything else x you take care - ur children understand xxx

[13gerbera]

Sorry you're having such a miserable time of it Janey and wish I had some words of comfort to give you but I think it is no bad thing that your family know how difficult this is for you.  I know you are used to caring for the family but that doesn't mean that you don't need to be looked after yourself - your children will understand and hopefully, when they've got over the worst of the shock, will be able to comfort you a bit and they will certainly understand that you can't be your usual self.  THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT! you have absolutely no reason to feel guilty.

This is a scary journey to be on and you'll need loads of support, we all do, and I think you and your family just need some time to accept that you can't be your old self for a while.

xx

Sharon

[Carmen42]

Hi Janey,

It's completely normal to have a massive breakdown or two during this horrendous time.

My first one was before we'd told the boys my diagnosis. We were eating dinner as a family and I felt physically sick, like each mouthful was choking me, but I had to eat it because I didn't want the boys to think anything was wrong. After I'd finished I disappeared to the bathroom sat on the floor and sobbed my heart out. The second was at a very low point during my first chemo, the boys were playing up and hubby was shouting at them.  

I really don't think you can get through this without breaking down, it's a good thing, it helps relieve stress and it lets people know you're struggling. Your family care about you and you really can't keep up the charade that everything's fine.  You will all get through this, it's a tough time so please don't beat yourself up about it.

Take care,

Carmen x

[janeyf4]

Hi Jets, I have had a complete breakdown today which has been brewing since diagnosis. I was looking at wigs online and worrying about my ct and heart scan tomorrow and went out to the kitchen which had been left a bombsite by my teenagers when I had only cleaned it an hour before. I just lost it completely and couldn't stop sobbing, My daughters then arrived home to see me crying and now they are upset.  I just hate seeing everyone so unhappy and it's my fault. I feel like my whole family is falling apart and there is nothing I can do to stop it.  Janey xxx

[Carmen42]

Hi all,
My chemo was postponed yesterday, full story on Jan monthly thread. So I'm looking forward to a week free from drugs. Hair is continuing to come out and is extremely thin now.
Anyway, good luck to you all xx

[JETS]

Ps Im not bothering with cold cap as I'm a single parent and it extends time in hosp ( need to b home!) but also mainly because I've been through enough recently and don't want anything more tough then it has to b! ( such a wuss) however for many people it is great and if u do try it take all the hints on the chemo pages - lots of people are real advocates of it xxx

[JETS]

Hi janeyx. U r doing really well honey xxx.
I'm due to start chemo and expect it to b start of March - on the going through treatment forum under chemo monthly threads I've started one for March starters so we can help each other out a bit x feel free to join me there!
My chemo is post surgery .... Lobular is difficult to detect on ultrasound and mamoogram so that will b why they want the mri scan. Try not to worry about that - they are just checking their own results . Mri noisy but honestly not too bad .
I am scared a lot about chemo and spent today on and off tears - but weWILL do this xx lots and lots of love Sarah

[Herewego]

Hi Janey, I'm also stage 2 grade 3 and throwing everything at it after the op (lumpectomy and nodes removal). I decided I want to be there for my small kids so started chemo last week (not too bad, anti sickness meds have been good, just really tired). I tried the cold cap but was really not keen on it - I'll see what happens in the next two weeks before I decide whether to use it again for my next cycle.
I know it's easier said than done but there's no reason to feel guilty, you didn't ask for this and everyone is trying to find their way of coping. I found that being open with my 4yr old has helped her to calmer and take things more in her stride - for instance I'm going in for the bone scan tomorrow so kept telling her that I needed extra cuddles and kisses all weekend as I can't be near her tomorrow evening or Tuesday morning for being radioactive.
I actually insisted on working most of the week I was diagnosed to give me some breathing room and normalcy as thinking about the cancer 24/7 was driving me mad.
Keep strong xx

[Carmen42]

Hi Janey,
I have my second chemo tomorrow and I'll reserve judgement as to how bad it is until after that!
The chemo meds gave me really low blood pressure so I felt terrible for the first week and a bit... constantly dizzy, so tired I could hardly move and a very fast heart rate that made me quite breathless. I was ready to quit as I couldn't imagine feeling how I was forever! Otherwise I didn't really have any other side effects, so my plan for cycle 2 is to keep an eye on my bp and hopefully if I can control that I won't feel too bad.
But either way, from day 11 (ish) I started to feel much better and got back to being like the real me, which was fab!

There's a post on the chemotherapy boards about the Paxman scalp cooling which you might find helpful... I'm using it to try to preserve my hair 🙂

Really wish you good luck with the chemo and surgery and haope it hasn't spread.

Love Carmen xx

[janeyf4]

Hi Storminadcup,  I am so sorry to hear your news, I was praying for better news for you.  We shall go through this together. Hugs to you too.  Janey xxxx

[janeyf4]

Hi Herewego, thanks for replying. I did have biopsies to my breast and also in my armpit so they know it has spread to there. I have scans coming up to see if it has spread elsewhere and that is my biggest fear, that and the chemo!. I just feel so guilty making my family and friends so upset and worried. My best friend came to see me yesterday and was in tears before she came in the door and I am finding it really hard to try and be normal around my kids, I feel I am spoiling everything for them and hate to see them upset. The support on these forums is what is keeping me going at the moment so thank you. Janey xxx

[janeyf4]

Hi Carmen, thank you so much for explaining all that to me, it has made things a bit clearer. The thing I am most scared of now is that it has spread elsewhere due to the back pain I have had for a good while. The chemo also terrifies me, how are you doing with the chemo, is it as bad as it sounds. Janey xxxx

[janeyf4]

Hi Lucy, thank you for the link I will take a look. Janey xxx

[janeyf4]

Hi Penfold, thank you for replying. I have a provisional date of 3rd March to start chemo and am terrified also.  I've only just read the leaflets about the types of chemo I will be having and the side effects and now wish I hadn't read them. I was told about the cold cap which might help prevent hair loss but not sure whether to try it or not. Janey xxx

[storminadcup]

Hi  Janey

Slightly different track to you but on a similar ride...

no words just (hug)

x

[Herewego]

Hi Janey, take deep breaths.
This is all overwhelming and the roller coaster will continue for sometime but you'll get through it.
Stage 2 means the cancer has spread, probably to your lymph notes - did you have biopsies?
The Path results are positive i.e. since they are all positive it gives the doctors more options/broad spectrum to work with to come up with the specific treatment plan for you.
Please review the link provided by Lucy and prepare you own questions for your next appointment or if you can't wait that long you could always talk to BCN x

[Carmen42]

Hi Janey,
Firstly sorry to hear of your diagnosis, not news anyone wants to hear.
The stage is how much the cancer has grown, size and spread.
The ER+, PR+, HER2+ are whether the type of cancer is responsive to various things. E.g. ER is oestrogen, so ER+ means that oestrogen will make the cancer grow... at least that's my understanding.
Being ER and PR positive means that hormone therapy, eg tamoxifen will help prevent future recurrence.
And herceptin deals with the HER2+ result.

I am also positive for all of these, I had a mastectomy, now doing chemo, then will have herceptin and tamoxifen.

I wish you luck on this traumatic journey, this forum is very supportive and we will help as much as we can.

If you need to talk through your particular diagnosis then ring your breast care nurse at the hospital, they are great and will totally understand that you won't have taken everything in at the meeting.

Take care, speak soon.
Carmen xx

[Lucy_BCC]

Hi Janey
I am sorry to read your news, I am sure the support and shared experiences on here will help

I am posting a link to the BCC 'Understanding your pathology report' which will help to explain the terms and our helpliners will also be on hand to go through anything you are unsure about:

http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/breast-cancer-information/about-breast-cancer/diagnosis/your-path...

Take care
Lucy

Helpline 0808 800 6000 weekdays 9-5 and Sat 10-2

[Penfold0_0]

Hi Janey, I don't fully understand what all of the above means and so I won't comment on that. What I will say is that your reaction sounds very like my own. I'm also having chemo before surgery (starting week after next) and I'm terrified but I've found this forum to be very helpful. Sending hugs x

[janeyf4]

Hi everyone, I've just been diagnosed today with breast cancer that has gone into my lymph nodes. Even though I was expecting it I am still so shocked. I spent the whole time at the hospital in tears and did not really take much in about what they said.  I have to have a ct scan, breast mri and heart scan next week and will be having chemo first before surgery. They said the cancer is ER+ PR weakly+ and HER+ and is stage 2. Can any one explain what all this means for me. They also said I would have herceptin.  Thanks, Janey xxx