I went to see my surgeon today to finalise exactly what surgery I was going to have, I was under the impression that he would do a bilateral mastectomy and then a ld reconstruction without implants, he now says that he doesn’t want to tie up the whole day with just me, although this wasn’t brought up when he first agreed to do a bilateral mastectomy, I have been discussing this with my BCN and she’s not mentioned not doing it at the same time. It seems that this is not the case now, he is proposing doing just the left side mastectomy to begin with, with ld reconstruction and then go back later and do the right side mastectomy (prophylactic) and recon at a later date.
I have several problems with this and I have to make a decision for Thursday. Firstly, I just want both boobs gone, I wont feel safe until they are gone, my mum died within 18mths of diagnosis, she wouldn’t have a mastectomy and in my mind that’s where she went wrong. Secondly I react badly to GAs and I didn’t want to have lots of operations. Thirdly, I want this over and done with and don’t want it dragging into next year, I want to get back to normal and and live my life, I don’t want to waste time recovering from more operations. Of course there is also the worry however irrational this may be that cancer will appear in the other boob before they cut it off and I have to start from scratch again.
I didn’t see my normal BCN today and she said that a later mastectomy and recon could be good if my other reconstructed breast were to shrink he could go in and fix it when he does the other side, but I’ve heard some people say no surgery on that side for a year after radiation, if that’s the case and it shrinks I’d end up having a third surgery possibly, I don’t think I could wait a year to get rid of the other breast.
OK so I’m waffling on sorry, my head is all over the place, I’d made my decision weeks ago and now I have just over a day to decide all over again and I’m cross cross cross.
My options are to do what the surgeon suggests or go for a bi mastectomy (hopefully he’ll agree to that!) with no reconstruction, at the moment, I don’t have any strong reactions to not having any breasts, can’t be sure that I wont feel differently once they’re gone.
Please do call the helpline as Quisie has suggested, the team will be able to talk your options over with you, help you to make an informed decision and offer you support. It opens at 9am until 5pm Mon-Fri and Sat 9am-2pm. Hope you find this helpful.
How weird, im off to see bc consultant tomorrow and my story is so like yours its weird, i had bc at age 31 with wle, lns chemo and rt. then a different cancer at 33 but then this year low and behold new lump in other breast. same treatment surgery chemo and rt… and somewhere in between i sent off a blood sample for gene testing. They rang on the day i finished rt… you have brca1 gene… and since then its been a roller coaster… i saw plastic consulant and due to have so much rt around my neck… due to mouth cancer… and to both boobs it came down to having double mast and recon next year to get over radiothrapy… but sit there for a year like a ticking time bomb… as you say i just want them gone…gone … gone… now… this minute…!! I am a nurse so my logical head says… its only for a year… but my girlie head is… how are you going to cope from having rather a large set to a flat chest… im terrified now that i have got to i want them gone… that they will not do both at same time… i also have to have oophorectomy and they are talking about doing it at the same time…!
As you say… cross, cross and bloody cross… infact lots of other words come to mind… im sick of feeling like a ping pong ball… !!
Phew… im sorry you are going through this… but its so nice to know im not the only one!!
wendy
apoogies for spelling im typeing so quick… its all coming out in a rush!!
I hope your appt went smoothly, you’ve certainly been through it and you don’t need anymore stress and worry.
I spoke briefly to the BCN yesterday and I’m going in to see her tomorrow morning, so no decision made yet. I still have the great fear that if I do as the surgeon suggests then I’ll be unlucky and it will come in the other breast, couldn’t believe it when I checked forums only to read about Angel153, that just makes me more determined to get rid of both asap, logically I know that this is unlikely to happen to me, but something in my head keeps on shouting WHAT IF WHAT IF.
I think I’m going to have to try and push for a bilat mastectomy without recon, if he doesn’t agree then I don’t know what I’m going to do. I have fairly large breasts at a 40F so it will be odd to go to flat, but if I don’t do it and the worse happens I’m not sure I could cope, I’d be kicking myself, I need some peace of mind. It’s a horrible decision to make, before immediate recon without implants was mentioned I was fine to go without recon, but now the idea has been put in my head its making me doubt myself.