71603members
375694posts
cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

68 REPLIES 68
mumof3girls
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

I have a PICC line in and whilst getting ready for a bath there was a knock at the door.I answered it to see my neighbour who just stared at me in a strange way and then said -don't worry I will come back later.It was only when I closed the front door I realised that not only did i have my PICC line covered with cling film but it still had the roll attached-talk about chemo brain:)
Love and hugs -Marie x

kulakatz
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

The weather may be horrid outside, but at least you guys are keeping the blues away with all these fantastic stories. I also wish there was a like button. Or a drum roll at the end of the punch line in each story.

My hair has finally started to grow after finishing chemo in Feb. I now look like I have just had a bad haircut and not had cancer. A friend noticed my hair growth and said "Wow look at how much hair you have!" My friend then added " At least it has grown longer than your beard now." Of course she was referring to my tamoxifen beard. Cheeky cow! Of course we both just fell about laughing. I am so pleased I have friends who don't tiptoe around difficult subjects.

Lotsa love, Lone xxxx

charlotte_e
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

forgot this one even tho husband only said last night...he was moaning about the stress he is in at work and with coping with our lives!.... he said he feels like going to his manager and tell him he cant cope with the job right now and how when he gets home and looks at his wife, he wants to cry!.... I just said, "i'm not that ugly am i" he smiled again!

dee49
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

Wish there was a 'like' button....

charlotte_e
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

2 funny tales from me.....
1st after fec 2 a few weeks back now i was on facebook and a friend had left a lovely post, as i was feeling down i decided to call her, so i did and then i cried on the phone to her.... she asked me just one question..." have you lost your pubes yet?", the tears soon stopped!I'm her 3rd cancer friend so shes a pro at the right thing to say.
2nd, on popping into the cafe where i dont work right now!, one friend/workmate, was talking to me as she worked.... picking up a large floured bap, i told her "nice bap!", she said "but i only have one"..... guess what i said... "so do i". Its ok i have threatened to wear a purple wig to her wedding in a weeks time!

scottiedog
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

I was on a first aid refresher course on Tuesday. At one point our (not very good) instructor said when discussing a particular injury, "You don't wanna think about going to bed like that, coz next day you'll wake up dead." Hmmm. I wonder how that works?

iamok
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

Hi had a good giggle last night
My sister and friend came to visit last night, following my 2nd mx last week. After aboutban hour my friends baby was crying for his bottle. She asked if I minded her heating it up, so I said help yourself. After a few minutes of crashing about in the kitchen cupboards she asked "where are your jugs" to which my sister replied as quick as a flash she hasn't got any. As I just cracked up laughing my poor friend just looked horrified, until I told her I honestly didn't mind and have to see funny side LOL Mandy x

lisha
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

I had to laugh the other day when i went out with my mum. I said to her when i have my chemo and i am down we will have to go and do something nice like get our nails done or get pampered in some way . I have never done anything like that so it would be a real treat.
My mum replied with "oh yes that would be nice we could go and get our hair done together" i looked at her and in an instant her mouth dropped open and you could see she wanted the earth to swallow her up.
I cant repeat what i said to her on here but we both ended up in tears laughing . Its a good job we can laugh isnt it .It has tickled me ever since just the look on her face!!!

dee49
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

After finishing chemo my son said to me "I guess you're getting better then?"
"Yes" I replied.....
"Thought so, cos you've started moaning at me again"

aren't they brill!

kulakatz
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

he he he he. Keep those stories coming guys. Am loving all of them!

AlexG
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

Not strictly a 'cancer' joke, but it made me smile.

Question: "What is a waist?"

Answer: "The space between a woman's breasts, and her other 'interesting bits'"

Question: "So why is that a waist?"

Answer: "Because there is plenty of room there for another pair of breasts!"

honeybee121
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

not so much a joke but somethink i just did

i was getting dresss added sume makeup ect whent to pick up me smellys and picked the hair brush up and went to brush my hair
im laughing me head off when me daughters ask wots funny and i tell them without thinking they said wots funny about that "take a look girls moms got no hair" "OH YER WE FORGOT " nice to know they dont see a change in me

ChoccieMuffin
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

Saw my mate outside the Doctor's today looking really worried.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"I've got the big C," he said.

"What, cancer?"

"No, dyslexia."

cherub
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

I'm in my upstairs office pottering around (got builders in finishing off my new kitchen and laying the floor today). Was just having a cuppa handed to me by OH when I read Lizzy P's posting. The bit about the French doctor made me choke, couldn't stop laughing 🙂

Whatever your situation and however dire it is, having a really good laugh does the trick.

dee49
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

Out one day and you how clumsy your fingers get on chemo.... well I kept dropping my car keys and the lady behind the desk said to me "Awe you having a bad hair day love" ....... I just burst out laughing! and she couldn't stop apologising - never gave me any discount though!

kulakatz
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

G'day Guys! I am loving your jokes and stories! It really helps to laugh about things. Here are a few about Radiotherapy:

So, I had a hard time with chemo, the surgery wasn't a picnic either, so when I heard that I was having radioTHERAPY, I thought: finally, something that sounds relaxing! He he. But there was no radio! I was so dissappointed!

They told me that I would have to lay still and not move a muscle for 40 minutes. I was more concerned that I would have to keep my mouth shut for that long and not have anyone to chat with! he he

They said they had to take some images first before they started my treatment, but they would not listen when I told them, that I look better from the other side. he he

Of course, I have had my eighth session of rads and i'm getting into the swing of things of stripping off as quick as I can. When I told my husband how good I was at stripping, his eyes nearly popped out of his head! he he

Now it seems so unfair that the time when I meet the most gorgeous hot nurse, I am not looking my best at all, and am lop sided and sprawled out on the treatment bed. I still smiled whilst thinking I have no chance, and then giggled when he said he was just going to roll me over a bit. he he. I must admit I look out for him all the time now!

So, they have told me that I should stay out of the sunlight whilst undergoing treatment. No working on my summer tan then! So I jokingly asked the lady if she could zap the other side to even up the tan a bit. She just glared at me! I said oh well, I guess I will have to go for a moon tan this year (and stay white). She still glared at me. So I finally shut up for a whole 2 mins. he he

Since my surgery I have had a bit of lymphodema in my arm. The rads onc said that the radiotherapy would make my arm swell more. What I didn't count on was that radiotherapy would help me to grow a new boob! I know, I couldn't believe it either! But my swelling is going from my arm onto my chest and it is pretty much a b cup most days! where it should be flat as a pancake. I never expected that! he he. I've heard some radiotherapy treatment can make your genitals swell because of the concentration of lymph nodes in your groin, but don't worry, I haven't grown anything down there. he he.

Sorry about my weird sense of humour guys. I would blame the cancer but I am afraid I have always been like that.

Take care everyone. Keep those stories coming in. Even if they aren't funny like mine. he he

Lotsa love

Lone xxxxx

sophia2
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

Brilliant, just found this thread how funny, i dont have a joke but a true story from when i found out i had cancer in march.
My best friend who lives 80 miles away from me was diagnosed with cancer in dec last year and i was devastated, we've been friends since age 13, i was dreading telling her about me but after much psyching myself up i phoned her and told her.Her reply after the line going silent for a minute " you've just always gotta copy me havnt ya!" I laughed so much i was crying, it reminded me of why she is my best friend. She now gives me all her hints and tips including how to do a good comb over etc..

juju341
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

when leaving hospital after my mx a nurse told me to put a coat on cos it was "nippy" out. i said "are you taking the p*ss"? her face changed a bit, until i said its ok love, i might have lost a breast but i've not lost my sense of humour!!!! x

moorcow
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

Great Lizzy. Lovely stories. My friend Mike Baker is running a blog on his website about his lung cancer - he has the worst set of doctor doctor jokes on there if anyone wants them - terrible but funny, you know the sort..."Doctor doctor, I feel like I'm turning into a wigwam", "don't worry its just because you are two tense"...
yup that IS how bad they are, but there are hundreds! bw Nicola

mummysboob
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

ha!! love it lizzy! xxx

Lizzy_P
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

I dont know any jokes but I have some funny stories about things that happened when I was going through treatment last year.

The first time I dropped my little boy at school after I had shaved off my hair I was running late. I ran past a group of friends standing chatting at the gates and I shouted "Im so late - I was doing my hair!!" I will never forget their faces!
After my lumpectomy I had a really nice pert boob and I can remember this really gorgeous young french doctor came in to examine me. I sat there on the hospital bed with this young man with my left boob in his hand speaking with a french accent thinking 'make the most of this - it will never happen again'
When I went on to have a masectomy (unfortunately I had to say goodbye to my pert boob) I used to say to my husband "oh go on I'll show you my tit!"
When I lost my eyelashes my friend whos a beautician said she would put some individual eyelashes on for me - she had never done it before so I was a bit of an experiment. It took ages and when she finished I looked in the mirror - there I was bald head with these massive eyelashes - I looked like a drag queen!! Anyway the bloomin things kept falling out and one morning my husband said "wow youve got a few hairs growing - turned out it was a clump of my falsies stuck to my head!!
We invited some friends round for a drink when I was going through chemo - anyway one of them raised his glass and said "Good Hea..." and stopped as he realised what he was saying. I cracked out laughing
Bless him he couldnt stop apologising but I thought it was hilarious.
Sometimes people couldnt understand my sense of humour but it has helped me and is still helping me get through this s**t.

hipchick
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

Not seen this before. One of my favourite jokes from long ago.

Girl goes to see Dr. He applies stethoscope and asks her to breath in and out. She give it her all.

'my, what big breaths'

'Yeath, and I'm only thixteen'.

kulakatz
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

G'day Guys!

It has been a while since I have been on this site. I thought I would have a look and see if there had been any other postings of funny stories or jokes, but there was none!!!!!!

I think that with all the stuff that we have to go through with BC is like a rollercoaster ride. I found that having a laugh and sharing that with others, really helped me on my days when I was struggling. So, please join in if you wish to share a story that may bring a smile to someones face. Reading some of these jokes may help you realise that you are not the only one out there going through this stuff. I hope none of them offend anyone.

I have had my chemo and surgery and am now on hormone therapy and soon to have radiotherapy. So, I will be posting some of my shameless sense of humour on these topics too. I hope you will join me with a few stories of your own?

lotsa love

Lone xx

kulakatz
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

Hi Guys! Well, I have finished all my chemo now and have had my surgery recently and shall be doing the Radiotherapy and Tamoxifen route.

I just wanted to thank you all for the stories and jokes you all posted that helped me get through some pretty tough days. I hope that some of you had a few laughs too.

Take care everyone and keep posting your stories and jokes.

Lotsa love,

Lone xxxxxxx
Ps: the white hair has turned grey!!! and I now have pubes and nose hairs, shame about the leg hair and facial hair that is growing back a bit too quickly!!!!!! he he

kulakatz
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

Hee hee hee Sophie that was great!

I don't know about you but I have found that when I am out I have to wipe/touch the end of my nose constantly, paranoid that there might be a 'drip' at the end of it. I reckon I must look like some sort of cocaine addict with all the sniffing etc. As if being bald, having skin that makes me look 90 and almost one boob wasn't enough to get people staring at me?

I just can't believe how quickly it can come out! I mean, I have never really won any races before, but my drip could run for England in the next olympics it is that fast! Sometimes I don't even feel it until it is a large drop ready to launch itself at some poor unsuspecting posh dog! he he (from a previous story).

Lotsa love,

Lone xxx

triphazard99
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

Lone - lmao at the dog snot saga! I was driving my son to the ortho this morning when he burst out laughing 'Mum, your nose just dripped onto the steering wheel'.... damn, and I thought I'd been keeping on top of it! Having a cold doesn't help, either.... After he'd finished laughing (in horror I think) he thoughtfully declared that he would treat his nasal hair with more respect in future...

Sophie xx

kulakatz
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

This is not a cancer joke, but it did make me smile:

A husband tells his wife that he has invited a friend home for supper.

"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn't go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!" said the wife.

"I know all that" said the husband.

"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" said the wife.

The husband looked at his wife and said "Because the poor fool is thinking about getting married".

Don't forget to post some stories or jokes that may help to make us smile?

Lotsa love

Lone xxxxx

kulakatz
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

So, you will never guess what happened to me the other day? I was out watching my son's footy training when one of the mum's (a very posh one), came up to me with her classy pooch. I bent down to pat the dog, as you do, when.......... My nose dribbled! (You know what I mean, when you don't have any nose hairs and your out in the cold and you get a sort of dewdrop forming on the end of your nose ?). Well, not only did it dribble, it reached all the way down to the dog!!!!! How embarrassing!!!! I then spent the next five minutes apologising to the posh mum for snotting on her dog and chasing the dog trying to wipe the snot off....... I wonder if she will ever come near me again? He he!

I haven't been able to get on with false eyelashes........ maybe I should stick them up my nose to avoid anymore snot dribbling incidents? What do you think?

Lotsa love and hugs out there for those who need them,

Lone xxx

kulakatz
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

Glad you are enjoying the jokes and stories. I do think it helps if you can find something to make you smile when you are having a bad day.

I have done all of my chemo now and about to go down the surgery within the next couple of weeks and then radiotherapy route. I was thinking of getting the nurses something for looking after me, but wanted it to be different than the usual chocolates, biscuits or sweets. So, I came up with an idea of something that would remind them of me............... some eggs! I know it might be a bit boring, but I was thinking that I am bald and so is an egg, I can be a bit fragile and so can an egg. Sometimes I just crack up, like an egg I have a hard outer shell, but inside I am soft and gooey like an egg. If you muck me about, I can become scrambled, like an egg.
But an egg can be really boring on it's own......... Maybe chocolate eggs would be better???? What do you think?

Lots of love to all of you out there,

Lone x

looking_lovely
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

Kulakatz,
I have just found your jokes ,thanks so much
I haven't laughed so much since I can't remember when.love the one about turning blonde,no offence as I used to be blonde too until chemo zapped me and I ended up with very dark hair

kulakatz
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

There are Positives for being bald:

* I don't take as long in the shower as I have no hair to wash.
* I no longer have bad hair days.
* I can go for a ride in a convertible with the roof down and not have to worry about my hair (the one I have left), getting out of place.
* I can get great head massages without getting oil in my hair.
* I can change my appearance with different wigs, scarves, hats or caps etc.
* No more greasy hair!
* I save money on haircuts, dyeing my hair and hair products.
* I can now turn heads! people who wouldn't normally notice me, certainly do now! he he
* I can scare the postie or delivery men for a laugh.
* I make those dreaded door to door salesmen who come calling feel uncomfortable and they leave me alone.
* I can't get nits from the kids.
* I don't have to worry about dandruff.
* I can get sympathy from people and get the comfy seat, or extra ice cream when eating out.
* I get lots of hats & scarves for presents. (maybe that isn't a positive?)
* People don't notice how fat I am now as the attention is more on my head.
* I don't find stray hairs on my clothing anymore.
* I get more compliments of how good I look (even though I look horrid, but they say it to make me feel better).
* I don't need to wear a swimming cap when I go for a swim.

Please feel free to add to the list........

lotsa love

Lone xxx

gardengirl
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

Hi Kulakatz,

Re your breast IDs, on describing my new 'nipple' on my recon to my niece:

Before After

( )(.) (.)(.)

🙂

kulakatz
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

Hey guys, I have had a couple of bad days myself and needed a laugh. Again, I hope these jokes don't offend anyone. Here goes:

How are woman's breasts like electric train sets?
They were originally intended for the kids, but Daddy
always winds up playing with them.

Once there was a girl who wanted larger breasts. So one day she
went to see her doctor, Dr. Smith.

Dr. Smith told her to rub her breasts and repeat the following:
"SCOOBIE, DOOBIE, DOOBIE, I WANT BIGGER BOOBIES".

One day she was running late and decided to do her excercises
on the bus when a guy came up to her and asked if she was a patient
of Dr. Smith's. To which she replied: "Yes how did you know?".
He replied with one hand in his pocket: "HICKERY DICKERY DOC!"

Don't forget to let us know any funny stories you may have that we can laugh with you about?

Take care everyone

Lotsa love,

Lone xx

crazy_cat_lady
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

S'okay lone, I forgive you for gag stealing LOL x

kulakatz
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

I have been getting excited about the fuzz that has been growing on my baldy head since my last chemo session a fortnight ago. The only problem is that it is WHITE! Now I wasn't expecting that. I know that I am nearly 43 and sort of expected it to be a bit grey, but white/? blonde was a surprize.

Actually, I have been colouring my hair since i was about 18, mostly blonde, so I don't really know what my real hair colour is. I never really expected that chemo might save me some money getting my hair dyed. Knew that there had to be a positive spin to chemo.

I thought all the memory, concentration troubles was caused by the chemo, but maybe it was because I am turning blonde????????? What do you think?

I do hope that none of these jokes or stories offend anyone? They may be to everyone's taste, so I apologise if any one feels uncomfortable reading them. The main aim is just to have a bit of light hearted humour to cheer us up.

Sorry crazy cat lady, didn't mean to 4get your joke......... at least each time I read the joke it will feel like the first time I've read it. Beauty of the chemo brain hey?

Lots of big hugs to all of you out there that may really need one today.

lotsa love

Lone xxxx

crazy_cat_lady
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

Lmao, but I have to say kulakatz you pinched my lumpy boob/knee joke from previous page!! Mine was straight to the point though x

Projectwoman
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

Love this thread had me crying with laughter much needed today!

kulakatz
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight, so that it would not blow off in the wind. A gentleman approached her and said: "Pardon me, madam. I do notintend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowingup in this high wind?" "Yes, I know," said the lady, "I need both hands to hold onto this hat." "But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed!"said the gentleman in earnest. The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, "Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!"

source: http://www.jokebuddha.com/Wind#ixzz1E9QSlzF4

kulakatz
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

Breast ID System

(o)(o)
perfect breasts

( + )( + )
fake silicone breasts

(*)(*)
high nipple breasts

(@)(@)
big nipple breasts (you know who you are)

oo
a cups

{ O }{ O }
d cups

(oYo)
wonder bra breasts

( ^)( ^)
cold breasts

(o)(O)
lopsided breasts

(Q)(Q)
pierced breasts

(p)(p)
breasts w/hanging tassels

(: o)(o)
bitten by a vampire breasts

o/o/
Grandma's breasts

( - )( - )
flat against the shower door breasts

< o < o
electric shock breasts

|o||o|
android breasts

(/)(o)
scratched breasts (ouch)

(%)(o)
extra nipple breasts

($)($)
Jenny McCarthy's breasts

(^o)(o)
zit on your breast

( o Y o )
poses for playboy magazine breasts

kulakatz
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

An old lady went to her doctor because she was concerned about some lumps she had found under her breasts.

The doctor gave her a thorough examination and told her, “Ma’am I have some good news and some bad news.” She said the she would like the good news first.

The doctor said, “The lumps under your breast aren’t cancerous.” The old lady asked what the bad news was.

The Doctor replied, “The lumps under you breasts are your knees.”

He he I liked this one!!!!!

kulakatz
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

A Unique Irish Celebration:

An Irish woman named Mary O'Leary went to her doctor to get her results.. The doctor, after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked Mary in the eye and said, "I've some bad news for you... you have cancer and it can't be cured. I give you two weeks to a month to live."
Mary, who was shocked and saddened by the news, but of solid character, managed to compose herself and walk from the doctor's office into the waiting room. There she saw her son, who had been waiting. Mary said, "Son, we Irish celebrate when things are good and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't so well. I have cancer and I've been given a short time to live. Let's head for the pub and have a few drinks."
After three or four drinks, the two were feeling a little less sombre. There were some laughs, some tears, and more drinks. They were eventually approached by some of Mary's friends who asked what the two were celebrating. Mary told them that the Irish celebrate the good and the bad. She went on to tell them that they were drinking to her impending end. She told her friends, "I've only got a few weeks to live as I have been diagnosed with AIDS." The friends gave Mary a hug and then they continued to drink all through the night.
After the friends left, Mary's son leaned over and whispered in confusion, "Mum, I thought you said that you were dying from cancer. You just told your friends that you were dying from AIDS."
Mary replied, "I am dying from cancer, son. I just don't want any of them sleeping with your father after I'm gone.
— Author Unknown

truffle_shuff
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

brilliant, will try to think of some, love a good laugh, but it makes my reconn boob twitch when I do XX

kulakatz
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

How may chemo patients does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer: I doesn't matter how many you find, no chemo patient has the energy to change a light bulb anyway. he he

CheshireCheese
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

AlexG - loved it, but horribly near the truth!

AlexG
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

Not a 'cancer joke' but a tongue-in-cheek 'mammogram warning'.

"We should encourage all women to partake in routine mammograms, but it also useful to prepare them for the procedure by giving them a few useful tips.

It is suggested that you first go into your garage, strip to the waist, then lie on the cold concrete floor. You should then ask a friend to line up your breast with the wheel of the car before reversing over said breast.

If this procedure is not sufficient preparation, we suggest that a good friend line up two bricks, place your breast between the bricks, and then slam them together with as much force as possible."

You must remember, that this form of screening was, no doubt, invented by a man, so I'm sure they would have no trouble if we screened their balls for cancer in a similar fashion, they might find a 'kinder' method."

P.S. Not serious - hope it makes you smile!

kulakatz
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ! You guys are really making me laugh. Thank you so much. I love it! Keep them coming as we all could use a good belly laugh from time to time.

crazy_cat_lady
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

Sorry if this offends anyone, you wanted jokes here goes:

Fat woman goes to docs, says 'ive found 2 lumps in my breast' doc replies 'thats your knees you fat cow!'

Jeniffer
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

To Rhian: The Big C had rhe occasional good line but the gratuitous use of the most vulgar and foul language I have ever seen on TV made it so unwatchable that I had to switch off quite early on.

AvenueSue_
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

Thanks for starting this Lone, I nearly wet myself reading some of the threads. I also have a pubic hair fringe along my C section scar. It's like a sideways on exclamation mark as if to say what are you looking at?'
Don't have any funnies of my own to post but got these from the net and they made me laugh.
sue x

Real Doctors Notes
1. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
3. On the second day, the knee was better, and then on the third day it disappeared.
4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
5. Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.
6. Healthy-appearing decrepit, 69-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
7. The patient refused autopsy.
8. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
9. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
10. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40-pound weight gain in the last three days.
11. She is numb from her toes down.
12. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
13. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
14. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
15. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

cherub
Member

Re: Do you know any good cancer or chemo jokes to make us laugh?

My pubic hair came out all in one go in the bath, it was floating along on the surface of the bubbles. The day my hair started coming out, I had to glue the rest of it on with hair lacquer as I had an oncology appointment in the afternoon. It starting coming out in clumps that evening when everybody on Eastenders started shouting at each other!

FEC made me fart atrociously, I went round Sainsbury's in double quick time due to jet propulsion. It got to the stage that I felt I couldn't go out and I was terrified of bending over. My OH was desperate to see Casino Royale over the Christmas holidays and when I said I didn't feel I could go he retorted "oh for goodness sakes, just fart during the loud action bits". Good job we are not embarrassed by bodily functions :-))