I was so strong holding up and waiting for surgery for 6 weeks. I had bilateral mastectomy with direct reconstruction 10 days ago. And I’m recovering well physically. But emotionally I’m a total and complete mess. It should be vice versa. The cancer has been removed. I should feel cancer free and happy. But instead I’m super depressed, can’t stop crying and somehow don’t feel cancer free at all. It seems life will never be good again. 
xxx Julia.
Hi Julia
I am sorry to read that you are feeling so low, please feel free to call our helpliners to talk things through on 0808 800 6000, our helpliners are here for you with practical and emotional support
Lines are open 9-5 weekdays and 10-2 today
You may also find some of our other support services helpful such as ‘Someone like me’ telephone and email support from other users who have had similar experiences, here’s a link so that you can read about these:
breastcancercare.org.uk/breast-cancer-services/talk-someone
Take care
Lucy BCC
Hi Julia,
Don’t be surprised by feeling like this at any time in the coming days, weeks, months even years.
While you have had a surgery date to focus on then recovering from surgery you possibly haven’t had time to quietly process what has been going on but as you recover from the surgery there is more time to let it all sink in.
If you find yourself remaining in a low state then it sounds like you need to reach out and get help. Don’t let things get too bad that you are too low to do so.
Hopefully you will ride the rollercoaster to another (long running) crest soon.
Hugs
Judith
Hi Sentangelo,
I’m sorry you are having such a rough time of it. I was also a bit of an emotional mess for about a fortnight after surgery having been reasonably OK in the 7 weeks since diagnosis (well OK, I had one major meltdown but that nothing unusual for me even without a cancer diagnosis!). As well as finally having time to process what has happened to you, you might be having a reaction to the anaesthetic as I’m told it is quite common to feel weepy and distressed for some time afterwards (I found a couple of articles about it by googling). Hang in there, it really does get better.
xx
Sharon