East Enders

[Guest user]

Yes well said applestreet. So sorry about your accident, thats all u need! Wish u a speedy recovery hun x

[Guest user]

Well said, applestreet, but thoughtless ratings-chasing programmes like EE don't help, they just drag us back.

[applestreet]

Hi

don't know if this is the right thread to put this on but some ladies say that they worry about what the future holds for them as regards the return of the gremlin.

I went to the doctor's on wed, have infection in Mx site, got off the bus at my stop, stepped onto one of the new fancy bricks the council spent all the tax money on, the brick flipped up. I FELL DOWN THE HOLE AND BROKE ME LEFT WRIST!!!!

When I went to AE in an ambulance...all v dramatic...I explained to the nurse about my Mx because I banged it and her reply totally stunned me. "I had bc last year, wle, chemo and rads, I regard it as a blip in my life and am now living to the full"

She looked fantastic, hair grown back and nails and was really chuffed because the day before she had her fist proper styling for a year.

Her attitude is what I feel but it was great to meet a woman who has been there and got the t-shirt.

Life is for living, worry can go and s*d off.

Hope this can help anyone in any way. M

[Guest user]

Hi Clare37 and hatty

Thanks for your comments. I'm 4 years on now and have coped and come out the other end of the tunnel a much stronger person. Lots of help from friends and my GP who knows the situation and is am absolute gem.

The point I wanted to make I suppose, although not very well I agree, is that there are other issues other than the obvious being dealt with in Eastenders

Tanya trying to cope on her own, her daughter Lauren being her only support and confidant and the effect on her. The way events in our life influence the way we behave. I also think there will be more to come with Tanya's sister and her response.

I find it difficult to watch at times but I will continue because I think there are important issues being dealt with on how cancer affects every part of your life.

[Guest user]

Claire i agree it could go on for years but for someone just diagnosed i felt it would give a false reality especially doing head radiotherapy for cervical cancer.
Soaps i can take em or leave em. Mostly have better things to do with my time. The complaints section is not just for complaints it is there to comment on what you have seen. I think it is worth putting a point of view to help them get it right next time good or bad.
Jan, so sorry you are having to cope on your own and i wish there was something i could say to comfort you.

[Guest user]

Jennifer ' I appreciate it must be difficult trying to move on but being constantly reminded I do but it will always be everywhere adverts, interviews, media in general but we can choose not to watch listen to a certain extent. Surely it would be worse if the medai chose to oignore completely it which would lead to less support and understanding

Jan ' im so sorry u had to cope with this alone

I also agree that the timeline wasnt realistic with treatment but its a soap they have to fit a lot in to short amounts of time, the storyline could go on for years if they did it completely realistically and thats just not feasible as its not real but it is approaching issues that people should know about

[Guest user]

Morning everyone.

I'm with you Clare37 although I agree the speed of the treatment starting and her discharge from hospital wasn't realistic.

I identify with her coping on her own. I have coped all the way through on my own because the man I married decided not to support me in any way. Obviously it's been Tanya's own choice to try and go it alone, I had no choice. I have good friends but they aren't there most of the time and certainly not in the wee small hours when the gremlins visit.

Last night's episode affected me because at last she is going to get the support and help she needs. I couldn't help thinking how great that would have been if it had happened to me.

Love to all

J xxx

[belinda]

Don't watch soaps so only commenting on the comments here.
I was diagnosed stage 4 from the beginning, in 2003.
I do skip, live life well, I'm feeling very 'uncancery' at the moment. Many stage 4 women really live life to the full for as long as they can, for as long as they are able.
I've met and lost many friends who were the most positive thinking, feisty, bravest women I've ever met.
I also know being stage 4 can be a lonely place, sometimes especially here on the general forums.
Have a good weekend all.

[Guest user]

Im staggered that some of you think Tanya story line is touching realism. How, she gets diagnosed one day has an operational procedure and isnt even in a day has chemo and rads straight after and targeted her head for cervical cancer. This is what annoyed me its not a real portrayal of what its really like no way.
How many can say that they have had the whole procedure like that i certainly cant. Makes it seem a doddle when you look at it like that.

[Guest user]

Fair enough, Clare37, it may be good to educate people on how hellish a cancer diagnosis and the subsequent treatment can be, BUT the down-side is that for a person (like myself) who has finished treatment and is trying to get their life back to normal - do they REALLY want their friends and family harping on about it and reminding them about it all the time? Personally I want them to treat me the same way as they did before I was ill so I can put it behind me.

[Guest user]

I agree that the portrayal of the very real fear of cancer coming back was a good thing. As upsetting as it is to watch if it makes a few people realise the mental trauma side of this disease as well as all the horrid treatment it is worthwhile. I have read on this forum so many times how it is annoying and upsetting when people assume u just have the treatment and u r cured but in reality those fears of it coming back are unfortunately realised. I hope this wont be my reality as we all do but know it is a real possibility.

There should have been some helpline numbers I agree but to dont agree with complaining about the programme, tv will always show upsetting things but we can turn over! I got upset when they showed how tanyas chemo buddy dies and someone said to me its just a soap, yes it is but these aree real issues and possibilities. Perhaps this will open peoples eyes a bit and stop them filling up the 'well meaning but annoying things people say' thread

Apologies if this upsets or offends anyone, not my intention, just my opinion x

[Guest user]

SCACO - just another to add to the list - me - i think what u wrote was totally real and i thank you for that - i have been watching Eastenders, i agree there should be helpline "if you have been affected by tonights" etc....... but ALL Ican say re Tanya is the way when she was first diagnosed i DO relate to her, the carry on as normal, its just a thing needed to be done, have the treatment, dont tell everyone, dont treat me differntly- i was like that, it was a shock but i blocked it out - though i know what u mean re the "pocket" of it may be there, but as my friend said to me, seeing me sick with chemo, she said there is no way anything bad could grow inside me as it was killing off my insides took my hair etc etc, only thing it didnt kill was me, my postive attiude, my spirit, even the staff at the hosptial told me what an inspiration i am and that is just as powerful to me as the chemo i took in my veins. Hope, and spirit, definetely!!! xxxxxxxxxxx

[juliet66]

I also agree. We moan when cancer is potrayed as a walk in the park. A bit of realism makes a refreshing change.However I am sure the story will be developed in a more positive light with Tanya accepting her treatment and making a full recovery. For some of us however that is a fairy story.

Why cant soaps present a person traumatised by cancer ( her fathers) and her feelings towards the disease ?? It is how people feel and react. If people can get shown as victims of rape and abuse, why cant people with advanced cancer be represented ?

As you say a helpline would have been advisable. Nobody wants to shock or traumatise without support or back up.

I personally think the potrayal is a realistic representation and exceptionally well acted and researched!

Julie x

[Guest user]

I also agree - it shows a raw and emotional response to a cancer diagnosis. So often on TV characters bravely accept their cancer diagnosis which belittles how scared you can feel.

Storylines are always going to cover topics that will upset people going through it - cancer, other illnesses, divorce, affairs, suicide, murder, bankruptcy, losing a child or partner etc etc. Every soap will cover some storyline that will touch a nerve and be too close to comfort for some people...

[Guest user]

Hi I agree with missy64 I was also glad that it was mentioned that the cancer may come back. I am very aware of this I get so fed up with people thinking that now my treatment is finished everything is fine pink and fluffy and that i should just pull my self together. Many a time i have felt like having a melt down or waited in fear for results. So I was glad to hear Tanyia voice my fears on Eastenders.

Heather

[Guest user]

I finished active treatment yesterday, and walked straight into treatment for the side effects. A real emotional day, and then a character implying that I may have wasted the last 8 months.
What a crock of sh,t.

[Guest user]

scaco im struggling to over come the fears, im making myself ill worrying ive just beed prescribed antidepressants, bad thoughts are always in my head, i fear every ache or pain is the dreaded thing coming back for another go at me .. i just wish i could take my brain out and wash all the crap out of it .. i so hope i can one day feel as you do... your words are an inspiration just switched the telly on and guess what tania bloody branning .. cant watch it ... it so touches a nerve

[janipi]

Amen to that SCACO.

[applestreet]

Hi ladies

Having just had Mx to cut out my tumour and waiting to start chemo, I think the storyline is totally insensitive to real people suffering from cancer. My mind can run away on it's own without Eastenders to promp it thank you v much!!!!

SCACO, totally right attitude, LIVE FIRMLY IN THE PRESENT. YOU CAN'T CHANGE THE PAST. WHATEVER IS GOING TO HAPPEN IN THE FUTURE IS,NT GOING TO BE CHANGED BY WORRYING ABOUT TODAY.

I don't watch anything to do with cancer, I was lucky as mine was found by accident but depressing myself by watching this rubbish is a total waste of whatever time I may have left. The phrase LIFE IS TOO SHORT has taken on a whole new meaning to me since dx and every day is lived to the full now. If I am unfortunate enough to have a recurrence I will fight the b****r just as I am doing now!!!!

I have an aunt who's had BC twice and is still going strong.

best wishes M

[Guest user]

I have done the same, Daysie.

I said my complaint was that, as it was a frightening story, there should have been a helpline offered at the end.

Thanks for the warning about Pat. I will NOT be watching!

[Daysie]

I have just submitted my complaint to the BBC for insensitive communication re Tanya's storyline.

Not to mention the impending storyline where Pat dies on Xmas Day!
from C. Oh what joy to have with our small portion of dinner!

[cherub]

I have a hospital appointment next week and fingers crossed I am hoping to be discharged as I'm at the end of my 5 years. I haven't watched Coronation Street since the Sally storyline. For me the fact they put it out on Christmas Day was just a bit too much. I don't usually have problems with portrayals of cancer in films etc., but I can't watch documentaries about children or teenagers having cancer. I also had a very unhelpful person tell me I should go and see "The Bucket List" round about the time I'd just finished chemo!

[Missy64]

Hi All

From someone who found out almost 2 years ago that after 3 years my cancer had found a wee pocket in my lungs, I was actually pleased to hear Tanya say what she did. I got sick and tired of people during my first 3 years thinking that now I had the chemo rads etc that everything was back to normal when in actual fact I had the added worry of the cancer returning. Thousands of us live with that fear and unfortunately for some of us it comes true.

I say to Eastenders, well done for showing the reality and highlighting the fact that cancer can return.

There is a reason why there is a 'Secondaries' section on this forum.

I pray that none of you find yourself in the same position as me.

Carolyn xx

ONE OF THE UNHEARD VOICES OF SECONDARY BREAST CANCER.

[Guest user]

Hi hatty just done my complaint xxjosie1

[Guest user]

I also felt distressed at hearing that if only for a few moments and im a high risk of recurrence.
Folks you can do something about it. I complained its a simple procedure do it here.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/complaints/complain-online/

[Guest user]

SCACO THAT WAS ONE OF THE BEST POSTS (BRILLIANT) THATS WHAT WE ALL NEED xxjosie1

[Guest user]

SCACO - Brilliant xxx

[Guest user]

SCACO - totally agree and an inspirational post. As with most of us I think we all worry at some point that the cancer will come back. I was told that I could have had my cancer up to a year before diagnosis - that shocked me more than anything.

My philosphy is that I have enough issues to get through on a day to day basis rather than worry about what is going to happen tomorrow.

Belinda

[June_BCC]

Posted on behalf of new user Jo

I did wobble a bit with that comment i must admit..........i just thought S**T! it sounded so possible, didnt it?

[sallieannie]

SCACO that is one of the best posts I have ever read. Like so many of us I am terrified of it returning but what you say about wasting time is so true.

Thank you so much for posting this, I will try and remember your wise words whenever my brain starts with the "what ifs".

[Guest user]

Well said SCACO - spot on as always! Life is too short to spend it worrying about what might(or might not)happen - I saw my mother-in-law take to her armchair at 60, having given up on the future because she was diagnosed with Rhuematoid Arthritis. She was 86 when she died, having spent the past 26 years saying she might as well be dead, and her life was over.
We need to make the most of what we have and get on with it I think!

[Guest user]

scaca- Exactly - I will adopt that from today !!! xxxx

[supertrouper]

SCACO - excellent post! I share your views on life. We need to remember to enjoy NOW because that is why it is called the present.

[Guest user]

Hi

Just thought I'd chip in with how I'm dealing with the knowledge of it returning on the off chance that it may help someone.

This is what I think/tell myself:

Yes there's a chance it could come back - but no amount of worrying or thinking about it will change that. If it's going to happen it will. Now, this fact could spiral me into a panic but I don't let it; I don't let it because the wretched condition has already had a year of my life and I'm blowed if I'm going to give it a moment more than I need to.

Say it returns in the next year. I'll have spent those last, precious months of health playing hostage to It. What a waste of that time! Equally it might never come back or not do for 20 years. I would be SO annoyed with myself for wasting all of those years.

The other thing is that being as we are actually in the system we are in a better position than the 1000s that are walking around with cancer but just don't know it yet. And that's the other thing - our cancers would have been there for ages before it was noticed. I know mine came to my wedding and also enjoyed a couple of holidays! I HAD cancer but didn't know it and was having a very nice time. Right now I KNOW I haven't got it. Unless I strait getting symptoms I haven't got it until November 20th 2012 at 10.20 (my next check up) and so for the next 12 months I'm flying my kite, skipping thru the daisies, eating, drinking and bring generally very merry.

Life is short - mine might be shorter than was expected (or might not) and so I'm filling my boots!

Xxxx

[Libralady]

I dont watch it but know all the story line as everyone is talking about it and all the daytime tv shows keep showing clips

My mum is hooked on it and was here this evening and was adamant she wanted to watch it - i refused - dont care that it upset her as she forgot to set her sky +. TUFF!- she just didnt think of the effect it may have on me.

It was like last week, Im paranoid about mets as it is and bloody schmichael the damn dog in corrie gets liver cancer - is something trying to send me a message or what!!!

I feel like going to live the the woods with no connection to the media. It doesnt make for a stable mind.

[sarah63]

i think i am going to stop watching eastenders..its left me feeling very flat to...left me wondering if there is a little pocket hiding and waiting...sarah

[Guest user]

I cried as did my daughter upstairs , she posted on facebook how sad it was , thats how i know.
It hits hard and brings it to the surface doesnt it, ive not even finished my treatment........think it will be off my viewing list for a while.

xxxxx

[Guest user]

I have just watched East Enders in which "Tanya" played brilliantly by Jo Joyner has cervical cancer and is refusing treatment. At one point she said "and after all that treatment there can still be a pocket of it hiding in a corner which comes back". I cant believe how after 3 years after my initial operations and considering myself totally ok,apart from a bit of lymphodaemia this programme has really got to me.Even though its a different cancer.

What has made me really angry is that East Enders did not put their usual Helpline numbers up at the end of the programme, though there are some on their web site.
Now am wondering what other latent fears am I unaware of? Does this ring a bell with anyone else