I am lucky in that I have friends who are supportive. BUT offer to take me out for meals , I feel guilty saying no , made the effort yesterday picked at a jacket pot
But I feel so sick and nauseas had really gripy tummy resulting in runs with this 1st stage of CMF. Also feel very panicky , cannot cope with eating at home let alone meals out. What do I do??? Any advice greatly received.
Love Bobbie
Hi bobbie
Just logged on and saw your message, bless, be honest with your friends tell them how you are feeling! i do appreciate its hard, i dont divuldge absoluetly everythin to mine, but i have to say if they are friends they will understand ! 
and they would be cross with you for not being honest as they think you are the same 'ole bobbie and not realise exactly how you are feelin…ask to go for a short walk and have a coffee perhaps instead? or even a walk and take a flask?? its still quality time outside of home with your friends… and if you dont fancy coffee ask for water? it do you good to see your friends and try take your mind off of things, so i still think you should see your friends…i have a lot of friends but over the years have becom honest with them and they never push me now…honesty is the best… and dont let it stress you! they wouldn be happy about that!
take care, hope you feel less sick soon xxx
Hey, your friends must understand if you are off your food. I have been out for meals since my chemo, and the look, smell and even the mere thought of certain things makes me feel a bit sick so I have been more selfish than normal and asked to go to places where I know I will be able to have something I can stomach. If you have lost more or less all interest in food, ask your friends if you can do something sociable that doesn’t involve eating. They must understand. Do not be guilty, tell them to continue asking you out but if you can’t join them for lunch/dinner they must not be offended you WILL be back to normal in a couple of months until then they can eat out without you and do some different things when you DO want to join in with them. Dunno what to suggest you CAN do though? Bowling? Nah, horrible shoes LOL!
I just had my second FEC on Mon 7th and feel the same this week as I felt straight after my first FEC - bit sick and a bit tired. But I managed to do more AND to eat more in the second and third week so hoping that will be the pattern. But I believe you have to listen to your body.
Hi bobbie,
The chemo justs plays havoc with your appetite, tummy & bowels so STOP feeling guilty about not wanting to eat out or eat much at all, just go with your instincts and do what you feel you can cope with. I suspect you are putting a brave face on for your friends, been there, did that, not a good plan! I felt so much better once i’d be honest with my 3 close friends about how i really felt, kept the brave face on for not so close friends which i think was right for me. Your friends will just want to do what genuinely makes you feel better, in my case they treated me to lovely magazines, fresh flowers & watched 60 minute makeover with me in the afternoons! Be kind to yourself. If you still feel panicky the helpline ladies on this site would be good to have a chat to,
hoping you feel better soon,
love & hugs rivergirl x
Hi bobbie,
The chemo justs plays havoc with your appetite, tummy & bowels so STOP feeling guilty about not wanting to eat out or eat much at all, just go with your instincts and do what you feel you can cope with. I suspect you are putting a brave face on for your friends, been there, did that, not a good plan! I felt so much better once i’d be honest with my 3 close friends about how i really felt, kept the brave face on for not so close friends which i think was right for me. Your friends will just want to do what genuinely makes you feel better, in my case they treated me to lovely magazines, fresh flowers & watched 60 minute makeover with me in the afternoons! Be kind to yourself. If you still feel panicky the helpline ladies on this site would be good to have a chat to,
hoping you feel better soon,
love & hugs rivergirl x
tell your friends that you feel sick - most people are well aware that chemo makes people feel sick. don’t feel guilty at all. if they are offended that you can’t come because you might puke or need to run to the loo, they are not good friends. you sound a very nice lady but way too sensitive during this horrible time when you should for once, put your own needs first.
quit the guilts bobbie - if you don’t feel like eating no point! but v good that you are trying to meet up with people.
We all know chemo is hard on us and on the days when it is harder… give yourself a break. hmm i am still in pyjams and dressing gown today…
Keep on trucking girl!!
hugs Jennifer x
LOL 60 Minute Makeover makes up for skipping lunch and I haven’t even started chemo yet - will be having it tomorrow. Bobbie I think it’s great that you’re going out to meet up with friends at all, good for you, and if you really don’t feel up to eating I’m sure they’ll be fine to just meet for a drink, or even a walk round the shops, feeding the ducks in the park, a walk by a river, with a lolly if you feel like it, perhaps a film though that may be a bit daunting. Please, don’t suffer in silence, your friends won’t know how you feel unless you explain gently that meals out aren’t making you feel good just now. Hang in there, you’re getting through this, the evenings are lighter and summer’s on the way… good luck… Lyn xxx
Thank all you great folks out there for getting back to me you never fail to put things into perspective although you are all going through the mill as well.
Jen are you still going to somersaults tommorrow , will give it a miss this time Hubbys b,day tommorrow ,might just visit his friend who shares the same b,day . Meal out a no… no of course. always wanted to lose weight but certainly would’nt reccommend this diet!!! Did you see my post on BRAS. Might have a little drive next few days , have a fortnight off so hoping I’ll start feeling a bit better. I do miss my little car for my freedom. LOts of love and a big hug to alll BOBBIExxxxxx
Hi there,
don’t feel guilty about turning down offers to be taken out for meals - good friends will understand. Perhaps you could suggest they come over to you for a take away (although be a bit careful if you are still doing chemo). If not perhaps they could come round for a coffee and bring yummy cream cakes - even if you don’t fancy them it is quite nice to have a chat and watch the others packing away the callories! I’ve found it difficult to go for meals since chemo and panic if a loo isn’t near to hand - BUT IT DOES GET EAISYER - I’m a year post DX and even managed a trip to Disneyland Paris last week - something that would have been out of the question six months ago.
cheers
caroline
HI There ALL thanks for all you support , it’s lovely to have such understanding cyber mates . Watch out Prof Grieves Gals I shall join you soon for a coffee. Pick somewhere near a car park , my legs are like jelly. Sainsburys would do me not very exciting but just need a cuppa and a chat. LOve to all Bobbiexx
Caroline as got wind of us all so we shall have to watch our step!!!
i never need an excuse to go to sainsburys so let me know when you want to go!!! Anna
Hi Bobbie
Hey happy birthday to your husband!! Yes picked up the post re bras - really helpful, thnak you.
Sainsburys is good! I’ve had jelly legs at times - weird.
Have a lovely day!!
Jen xx