Ok, so here is me with orange hair.
2 days post first chemo and I'm still OK. I had a really strange dream last night, I won't bore you with all the details, but the message I received was that it was OK to have no boobs and that I was cured. Yes, a lovely feeling. There were dogs in it too. I woke up feeling really good.
Saffronseed, I cannot get over that women in the big black 4x4. What was she thinking ! ? I expect I will be shaving my hair off soon, good for you for doing it. I'm so glad you know who you are and you are a wonderful person. I remember last time how much the wig itched, I wonder if there are some out there that are more comfortable. Having lost my diary, I have not yet made an appointment to get a wig, and I have not got my old one out yet..... Denial maybe?
Monica, is your line of work physical ? It's good to have a date to look forward to. I've no idea yet when I shall return, I have been off 5 weeks so far, but I was switched off before that (in March when I got my diagnosis)
Lee, I still feel 20 at times, but the age of doctors does worry me!! Thank goodness our close up sight stated to fail at a certain age, so we cannot see our wrinkles. I m a very happy with my age, actually. Happier that when I was 20. So sorry to hear about your friend, my thoughts are with her family and friends.
Hope everyone has a good day today.
Well said Monica!
Saffronseed I find it hard to believe that someone could be so lacking in any sensitivity that they could say such a thing to you. I am totally flabbergasted!
You seem to be a real life demonstration of the ups and downs of this journey! It's tough losing your hair but it's only hair and it comes back, but I know what you mean about the itchiness of wigs...I often had to curtail, say, a supermarket shop just because I couldn't bear the wig anymore! Some of us are more sensitive than others to these things. You sound as if you're doing incredibly well though...hope you're not overdoing it!
Thinking of all of you who have had surgery today or who are dealing with the after effects of chemo.
And Maria, you're my age, I think you said, so less of these "being old" comments! We're forever young! Hope you're still feeling okay and the SEs aren't too bad. That goes for all of you dealing with the fall out of chemo. I started off really badly but was decorating rooms on the good weeks!!
Maria, looking forward to seeing the orange hair! Sounds fab!
Heather, hope you're feeling better, I'm sure bobby must help. I have 3 dogs but the latest one (the black blob you see in my profile picture!) is a Cockerpoo, Mimi, 7 months old, and very differnet to my two bigger gun dogs, who I love dearly but this little one is such a companion that I completely get what you say. What would we do without our animals?!
Lost a great friend this afternoon. Raising a glass to her.
love and hugs to all
How ignorant can you get?? Saffronseed I hope you won't let that stupid woman bring you down - remember, your hair will grow back but she will never be other than ignorant and rude.
Its great that you feel able to work - I haven't felt able to for almost a year, but am getting quite excited about going back (in 3 months or so LOL) but am going back for 3 days/week, Ihope - thats what I've requested. I think you're doing really well.
Hope everyone is feeling OK - having chemo or going through surgery, keeping you all in my thoughts
love, monica xx
today very busy i am shattered. Although I don't officially start back to work until Monday, I have started doing emails and thus getting the phone calls and work associated stuff. I am actually enjoying it, the problem is I have so much else to sort out like hospital appts and hair stuff etc etc and finding it hard to fit it all in - I am too used to being a lady of leisure over the last 3 months methinks..
Had my hair shaved off today! was sad but relieved as its been driving me bonkers.. it looks awful being bald but will wear scarves and probably less often my wig. I wore my wig from the hairdressers and it felt ok but scratchy so after about half an hour when I got back to the car I took it off - so baldy head it was.
My first taste of baldy - I got out of my car and this horrid women in a big black 4 wheel drive opened her window and shouted at me 'get some hair' I was a bit surprised that someone could be so spiteful to someone they didn't know (or my circumstances) however she drove off before I could say or do anything... I just hope it doesn't happen to her... I am a believer in what goes around comes around...
Sorry to ramble but my journey continues.. one moment positive and inspiring, actually getting my work head back on and feeling that I belong once more to the bigger world and I am not just a patient!
next being pulled back to earth, being made bald and feeling ugly, and then being insulted by some ignoranmous making me realise that I look different and peoples perceptions of you are very much based on how you look rather than what you are...
anyway I know who i am and the good news is no side effects so far.... xx
So, what was round the corner today ladies ?
I'm OK, not very hungry, but I can eat and I've got plenty of reserves anyway.
I dyed my hair orange, so I hope it won't fall out too soon. I'll put up a photo soon, if I manage to.
My tree feller was back and cleared away some of the trees, but the one nearest the house is still across the grass (I can't call it a lawn)
Tors, I hope you had another good day. One day at a time eh.
Saffronseed, I couldn't work, my brain is worse than my body I'm afraid. I realized on Monday just before heading off to the hospital that I had mislaid my diary with all my appointments in it. Today I realize that is is actually lost, HELP. Been phoning people to find out when I had arranged to meet up with them, and trying to remember the other appointments. Just realized I have an appointment for a blood test (post chemo) and a massage (Lovely) at the same time. Got to re-arrange one of them.
So I look forward to hearing your stories of today.
Oh for the simple things in life (making tea! looking after boys!)
Yes i did read your threads last week, with your injections and your poorly little boys! yuk how awful for you, no wonder you were an emotional wreck! but today you have felt great, so that is a positive thought
You Take Care,
Hi Sandra, i have felt great today, looked after my boys alone, made tea for everyone, felt normal ish. Hope there will be many more days like it, better than last week when i was a physical and emotional wreck! Take care
Yes read about your haemotoma, sounds nasty, and a long job! before it settles down. Well l have heard of some good excuses for getting out of having nooky but..........this has to be the best!
Lucky you, l am afraid my brain went at the same time as my body!
Just can't get my head round too much at the moment.
Thank you tors, hope you are keeping well?
Maria I will tell you my three legged dog story another day, he even made it into the local papers!! how is that for fame!
Hi all had 2nd Fec this afternoon.
Veins held up well and no pain at all so good. Feel a bit sicky at the moment and sipping water - had shepherds pie for dinner quite bland and needed something to eat. Hair has gone though and with one breast and a large hemotoma on the other side, bald and pale I don't look or feel that desireable so no nooky tonight! thank god....
Yes, all being well, will return to work part time (ish) next week as I feel up to it - my brain is ok (its my body that doesn't work right) I will work from home mostly though so not to get infections....I will see how it goes anyhow.
I feel a lot better today than yesterday. You realy have a 3 legged dog ? He must come along too, to support us all. He must have a story to tell.
As for those doctors, nurses, firemen and policemen. I tell you they are hardly out of nappies.
what news, how are you ?
where are you on your journey ? Thanks for the good wishes
Hi Saffronseed, Yes this time tomorrow! hopefully l will be still having a nice sleep or 'eating'
How is chemo going for you, on your second and l see talking about going back to work! Many s/e? or is it early days!
Take Care Lots of Hugs
Hi sandra good luck for tomorrow have a good nights sleep if you can and just think this time tomorrow it will over with...
Heather, Ouch these veins do worry me! wish l had good ones, they can never find mine when they do a simple blood test! what hope? Lol
Well the snoring did become a bit of a pain! but decided you needed a rest! I have two dogs, Bliss is an American Cocker Spaniel, and Bailey is a three legged Toy Poodle, Always such a big fuss and welcome when l come home, they will miss me for the next few days! but they will do what they always do when l am out, and sit at the window and wait and look.............
Mmmmmm dishy doctor, l wish, sadly l know what he looks like! The anaesthetist is a girl 'friend' of my sons, and the porter is my friends son! so while it is lovely l know them, no chance with romance!! Lol!
Monica, Yes l know what you mean, and l do try and look at the bigger picture! still hard! Wow the new look! looking good, how long did it take to get to that length?
Maria,Glad you felt 'comfortable' today! you sound like an old woman! in your snuggly cardigan!
No, Maria just you getting old! don't think they lowered the age of police and doctors!! perhaps they are brighter so get an early start in life!
Hope all went well today Maria? did you say and l missed it??
Well l think you are going to have to look in your wardrobe for that Lumberjack shirt, and get those logs cleared up!!
Thank you for the big hugs, need them! will save some for tomorrow.
Just phoned the hospital up, they don't want me in until 1pm!! sounds like a late op! they said it would probably be about 4pm, gosh l hope he doesn't finish at 5pm and rush my stitches, would like nice neat ones! must make a point of telling him to sew nicely!
They said l could have some breakfast at 6am yeah right, as if l will want to eat at that awful time! so l will give that a miss, and have a nice cup of green tea instead.
Lots of Hugs to you Lovely Ladies
Sandra - thinking of you tomorrow, big hugs for the big day.
Good wishes to everyone especially those embarking on chemo.
Love Clare X
Good job hospitals are better than tree fellers, No sign of him at all today.
No handsome doctors today, just nurses about my age. I feel more comfortable with them.
Sandra. I know when doctors and policemen seem so young, it is because we are so old ! but I am sure they ARE younger than in my day !! I hope they don't know who I am when I go out, I think I look different with clothes on. Anyway I shall soon be incognito when i! loose my hair. Thinking about you tomorrow
Isabelle. My thoughts are with you, I hope I am not to late to wish you all the best for Wednesday.
Monica, if the first one is the worst, so far, so good. Mind you they said I would feel worse tomorrow.
Heather, sorry to hear about your pin cushion, I guess my unpleasant experience yesterday will have been worth it. No troubles with getting the needle into the portacath, I'll do it myself next time !! Hope your quiet day went as planned. I am planning on one tomorrow
Take care all you lovely ladies
wanted to wish those of you having treatment and surgery this week lots of love,
Maria, I hope chemo is OK - the first is the worst as you are facing the unknown - aren't things a bit easier when you know the terrain? We are all here for you xx
Izzy and Sandra, I hope your ops go well tomorrow and that you recover quickly and well. Losing a breast isn't easy, but it helps if you can think of the 'bigger picture' - your ongoing health. So many of us know what you have to deal with and are always here for you xx
Welshgirl, there are no rules about how and when you deal with all this stuff, you only have to deal with it in your own way.
sending love to everyone
Hi everyone well I missed jumping on the charabanc yesterday, was stuck at the hospital!! My left hand and arm look like a pincushion today lol 10 goes they had trying to get my line in for Herceptin. I had more bits of cotton wall stuck on my hand and up my arm, I looked like somebody had been trying tp practice first aid on me lol The nurses where really nice though and they kept apologising, but like I said to them it has got to be done, and it wasn't there fault it is my silly veins.
So today I am going to have a comfortable ride. I am going to relax, and probably snooze, you will have to wake me if my snoring gets on your nerves lol
Lee, my little dog Bobby is my sweetheart, he is so loving and I can tell him about all my fears. It is really nice when I get home from a sh**ty hospital appointment like yesterday, and he is there waiting for me 🙂 he makes me forget what I have been through.
Maria I hope they got your Portacath in ok, and that your chemo goes ok today. Hope your tree fella comes back, a bit rude not to even come and say what he is doing.
Sandra and Izzy thinking of you on the start of your big journey, hope you will be ok, sending lots of ((((( hugs ))))) for you both. Just think this time next week you will be back telling us about dishy doctors and stuff lol anyway good luck to you both.
Well think I am going to get a book and relax today and hopefully have a quiet journey today.
Love to all I have not mentioned, hope you all have a fantastic and pain free day 🙂
Love to you all,
Heather, Thank you for words of support. Good Luck with your Herceptin xxx
Sue, Yes, so much better to be on a journey with friends, no one wants to be on their own on this journey. Thanks for your Good Wishes xxx
Monica, Aqua & Welsh girl
Thank you for your words of comfort and support, pleased your pain is gradually easing welsh girl xxx
Lee, Yes, TERRIFIED comes to mind! Thank you for your kind wishes xxx
Christine, Thank you for your good wishes, and l will def. be doing the excercises! xxx
Lucky me! l am having the operation on Wednesday afternoon, but l am not going into hospital until 1pm Wednesday, feel so lucky, really didn't want to be sitting around the day before!! (done that!) So good luck to you for your Wednesday op. xxx
Maria, These doctors, with their masks and hats! l am sure they only wear them so when they go out to clubs and bars they know who we are, but we dont know who they are! Goodness they could tell a few secrets!! Oh dear Maria, you said his 'oh so young assistant' showing your age!
Maria, your tree feller,only half a job, not even a hi! how very rude, sounds like a bit of a cowboy to me, any descent professional would have come in for a cuppa!
Hiding your tears? stop being so brave!
Well curious friend, and saffronseed, hope your chemo goes really well, and is very kind to you.
Love and Hugs to All
Good luck for tommorow Maria hope the chemo goes well. I think there are a few of us going to be facing different journeys tommorow, I feel like mine begins then too.
Good luck Sandra for tommorow, I hope we all get loverly nurses and dishy doctors !!! (even granny's can dream!)
Love and best wishes to you all,
Well, the doctor had nice eyes, but whether he was handsome or not, I don't know, There was me, naked under a sheet on an uncomfortable trolley and he had a mask and cap on as well as special glasses. His oh so young female assistant came to see me afterwards when I was back in a comfortable bed, and told me I could go home. That was that, never saw him again.
However at least he was on time and everything was done. My tree feller only cleared up half the trees, and didn't even come in to say hi, I hope he will be back tomorrow.
Welsh girl; I'm glad you are feeling more comfortable now. I cried for my "friend" two years after loosing her in 2003
Tina ; mine does not feel great today, but you give me hope it will be more comfortable tomorrow.
Carol and Christine, there is plenty of room for everyone on this journey. We are all helping each other.
Hope and Aqua, thank you for your support. The nurses were OK, sweet, but never saw my tears.
So tomorrow, it first chemo, I'm not scared, just curious
Love to you all
Ladies may i join you? i have been travelling for 1 year and am glad to have left each previous stage behind. Like Hope i also feel more tired now on bad days than i was hoping for; but have many good days too! I agree i also think exercise is the way to gee the body up a bit from the lethargy it is finding so appealing. I dont want to camp here much longer but to move on...
Best wishes to the ladies like Sandra who are facing surgery this week - just one tip if i may - remember to do the exercises they suggest. They are important.
Good luck with the chemo to all embarking on that rollercoaster ride. You will find some good moments on that ride if you look out for them and before you know it the end will appear...
Love to you all
Oh Maria you made me laugh, I thank you for that. So was your Doc handsome? I hope today went well for you
Lots of hugs xx
Hello to all the new ladies joining in...I'm looking forward to getting to know you all.
Maria, I do hope your doctor was handsome! And the nurses kind. Hope it went well this morning. Not sure if it means you started chemo today or if the portacath is fitted well before that starts, I'm thinking there is probably a delay between fitting and chemo starting?
Hope it's kind to you.
love and hugs
Maria, hope you have room for another little one to join you in your journey, good luck and take care
love n hugs
Hi Maria, I have the portacath since last week, opposite side to my mx and about 5cm little scar with a disk like object just under the skin. Just a little discomfort and bruising now. Worked very well for my 2nd FEC last Thursday and after emla for 45mins did not feel the needle going in!
It's like another step on the journey, one day at a time!
Good Luck. Tinaxxx
Good luck Maria for today and all the following days... and Sandra too with your mx approaching. Not an easy time but a stage one has to travel through. I am 12 weeks since my mx and wishing to join you on your adventure with all the other ladies here as I haven't acknowledged the loss of my friend yet!!!
It's very strange as I'm gradually losing the pain and looking level and symmetrical again but I don't think the reality of the loss has really 'hit' me yet.
I wondered whether anybody else had this delayed reaction?
Best wishes to everyone trying to cope with treatment this week and it's accompanying emotional fallout.
Welsh girl x
Hi there everyone,
Dragonfly, I agree, I would not have chosen this adventure, but I shall learn from it all the same.
Lee, Glad the swim did you good. So there we are, having no hair can be good !
Sandra, your elegy to your friend is the best thing I have read on this site. It was moving and so true, with a touch of humor. It deserves a thread all of it's own because maybe not everyone will read it on this one. Please do it.
Clare, I am so glad Sandra's elegy helped you, I must admit it was very special.
Heather, please continue to ride along.
Sue, yes the more the merrier.
Monica, You are right; rapids, waterfalls or a slow meandering river, its all part of the same adventure
Aqua, these journeys are of discovery as well as sadness and pain.
This morning I shall discover what is is like to have a portacath. I wonder which side they will put it, I wonder if the surgeon is handsome !! I hope the nurses are kind.
Good luck to all of you for whatever today brings you.
Love and hugs
Maria - I wish you well on the next stage of your journey on this horrible path. I hope chemo is not too harsh on you
Sandra - Good luck with your Mastectomy, I hope you will recover quickly.
Any other Ladies having ops, treatment - good luck to you all
Good luck Sandra and Isabelle with your ops, both on Wednesday I think. I said goodbye to my "friend" last June and I remember feeling terrified before the op but I got through, as you will, and so did two of my children who were taking exams (one of them on that day...she didn't do well in that one!). Be kind to yourselves and don't expect too much...it's another milestone on the journey.
To those of you like Maria and Saffronseed starting chemo next week I wish you all strength, the journey seems a long one as you head off but you will get there.
Heather (cute dog by the way), that swim helped...for a while I did feel more energised! I am going to try and do some on a regular basis...especially since I don't need to worry about it taking ages to sort out the hair afterwards! Very liberating!
love and hugs to all.
I hope all goes well for you on Wed. It gets a bit more scary as it gets nearer, but I like yourself will be glad when wed is over, I love the way you talk about your friend, you could'nt have put it better! We all have to look foreward to better days - hopefully all will be well.
Love Isabelle xxx
I'm one of the people who has been journeying for a while - just had the oophorectomy that ends my active treatment (apart from AIs that go on for longer term) and looking forward to the next stage of recovery.
There are some lovely positive attitudes reflected here and I'm looking forward to adventuring with you all. I've always been of the opinion that its not where you are in life that counts, but who you are there with.
Hope everyone who has tests and treatments this week find that the going isn't too tough. Sandra, you are saying farewell to a 'friend', but one whose significance in your life has become negative, and it is clearly time to do it. I hope that your great attitude helps you through - will be thinking of you.
seems like some of us are adventuring in the rapids and others are setting up a new camp on the bank further down - all part of the same journey though!
love to everyone
a journey with friends is far better than a journey alone so count me in!
I've started my journey 'adventure' too, have a long way to travel yet but am as prepared as I can be i think.
Sandra Good good luck for this week, you will be fine...I loved your parting words to your 'friend' very moving but brilliant outlook.
Will be thinking of you and all others having treatments this week
Hugs Sue xx
Hello Ladies, can I jump on this ride and go on a journey with you all. I have been on my journey since last year but I have found myself floundering about in a very lonely place sometimes. I have a wonderful hubby, and fantastic family, but sometimes I feel very alone. It is good when I come on here and read about people that are feeling the same has me, then I understand I am not going mad.
It wont be nice losing your friend Sandra, but it will be so good to get rid of the horrible thing she has inside her.
Hope I am still waiting for my energy to return, but I try and make the most of the days I feel good.
I will be going on another part of my journey tomorrow when I get my Herceptin. It always makes me feel ill for the first few hours, its like I have got the flu. Then next week I will be tired, so can we do some gentle travelling on our journey this week.
I really hope that where any of you travel in the next few days, whether it is physical or mentally, I hope it is a fantastic journey for you all.
I'll hop of now, love to you all
Hi Clare, So very sorry to hear you are having difficulty coming to terms with the loss, We all try and get through it as best we can. Each stage we go through is so very difficult, and we try and cope the best we can, some days better than others.
I am really dreading it, needless to say! but l know it has to be, no other option. It has been a part of me for 63 years, and although they were going 'south' they were still part of me. It is bad enough coping with this dreaded BC, but having to lose the breast as well!! I can and will live without it, after all l have a better chance without than with it.
It will be a struggle, never thought it would be, but now the time is coming close........But l have to, and need to, think positive.
After all it is 'just a breast' and with it l will die, without it l have hope, and right now l really need that hope!
Take Care Clare, your life is really worth more than one breast!
Hi Sandra - I lost my 'friend' last August and have had difficulty coming to terms with the loss, I'm getting better each day and your post has really helped. Thanks so much.
Off on 'my' next adventure! (Wednesday 12th May 2010) When l return, l will have a little less baggage! so while l am sure l will miss my 'friend', she has caused me nothing but trouble over the last few months. So a few words of comfort to my 'friend'.
I was once so proud of you, along with your partner, you were there for me in my hours of 'Love' you were there for me in my days of 'nurturing' you were there to fill my tops and dresses, to make me feel every bit a woman!
I stuck by you when you travelled too far south, and gave you all the support you needed!
But sadly the time has come, for us to part. Please don't be sad, it is not your fault, just one of those things that life throws at us, and my only chance is to leave you, and go on with my journey.
Hope you don't mind if l keep your 'partner' I am hoping she will remind me of the happy days when l had you both so close to my heart.
Love and Hugs
PS. Maria, Saffronseed, and anyone else having their chemo this week, have a safe journey! XX
Isabelle, Good Luck with your op on Wednesday! X
I agree, dragonflyspirit, that's my journey too and it's not as easy as I first thought but I am trying to simplify my life as I believe that is the way to go but it takes time and a lot of effort. Energy levels just haven't returned.
Off for a swim now in the hope that that helps!
Hope everyone is in a positive frame of mind today.
I agree with Tedoris, BC isn't the kind of adventure one would choose, but Maria, I like that you can look at it as an adventure. I'm past the treatment and still floundering a bit. I'm beginning to realise that "new normal" isn't just there waiting on us. Finding it may be the second journey.
Theresa, your storm rider thread inspired me, but was completely beyond my comprehension !!
Peacock, so you are trying to show those French girls a thing or two, perky C, and tummy tuck, all done for free. Wow
Tedoris, that's why it is an adventure
Isabel, a journey is an adventure where ever it begins
Lee, your cyber name says it all.
All aboard Everyone
Thanks for your good wishes Hope,
Everyone is so kind on here, i suppose were all in the same boat to some degree, its loverly to get in touch with you all,
Best wishes Isabelle xxx
Isabelle, our posts crossed. You must be feeling very shocked at the moment so I send you big hugs. You will receive lots of support on here and those of us who are a little further ahead can try to answer any questions you may eventually want answered.
lots of love
would love to be on the journey with you. Hoping that my BC journey is complete and just needing to get stronger but would definitely be there to support you and anyone else who needs it.
My own journey is now more personal.
Wow, Peacock! That's definitely something to look forward to. Wishing you all the best with that!
love and ((((hugs))))
I have just been diagnosed with breast cancer last week,I am going in hospital on tuesday and having my op on wednesday ,lumpectomy and SNB to start with,then rads. This is just the start of my journey, I would like to keep in touch with you and the other ladies who are also tagging along ,
Best wishes Isabelle xxx
Hey not quite the adventure we all had in mind! But one that we can all join in! Who knows what lies in front of us ladies!!!!
Wow Peacock, A perky size C and a tummy tuck! you will venture from it a new woman.....Hope to see some holiday snaps of your adventure!!!!!!
Good Luck for later in the year
Well I am having a bit of an adventure myself in a couple of weeks. Let me explain. Before BC I had always longed for smaller breasts, had often thought about having them uplifted and made smaller but couldn't afford it.
I'm not sure that having BC was the way to go about it but, I am having a boob reduction on the good side, and can't wait! I long to be a perky size C cup and it is going to happen soon. The eventual pair of breasts will happen, but later in the year, with a tummy tuck too.
Good luck to all the explorers.
Maria - good luck on your adventure...:D it sounds rather like the way we tackled things on the Storm Rider thread... (we were out in the wild west and some talented people on the thread used to write stories of how we were whupping the ass of the boss... (cancer) ) It certainly helped all of us get through things and along the way we all became incredibly close... i hope you and your fellow adventurers become just as good friends...
Dear Monica and Sandra
Each of us is on an adventure, and I love your idea, Sandra that we will be there for each other when we flounder. But they will be adventures of discovery. Discovery of ourselves, and of those around us.
Hugs and love to you, because that is what will help us on our way,
Yes please Maria, put me on your list to join your adventure. We need some fun in our lives, and this sounds like fun! Hope your adventure has more 'ups' than 'not so ups'
But whatever it brings you, we will be there to journey with you in this unkown adventure. One thing for sure if you or any of us fall along the way, there are plenty of ladies to 'pick' us up and put us back on your adventure!
As you know l will be 'quite' a few weeks behind you, but be sure l will be there at the end to give you a big Hug, so for now l will be following in your footseps! and watching your every move!! so be positive and keep as 'happy' on your adventure as you sound today!
And don't forget to pack your wig!!
Lots of Hugs are sent your way