72.7K members
1.2M posts
cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Emotional crash Week 1

7 REPLIES 7
Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Emotional crash Week 1

Good luck !!! Hopefully he will be more receptive at the weekend like you say and you can get him to listen.
AliOG
Member

Re: Emotional crash Week 1

Thanks, Jill. I think that's half the problem - finding time when neither of us is stressed/knackered. Hopefully we'll get some respite this weekend. Thanks for your support x

Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Emotional crash Week 1

I think it's a pretty common issue ,like you say most men deal with things very differently to women.Its a long day when you are at home on your own feeling crap and would be lovely to have them walk through the door give you a big hug and say how are you ,what can I do to help.Ive found ultimately that female friends were better at giving you emotional and practical support and I had to swallow my pride and ask for help, I also gained a nice little support group of ladies from the forum too .Still I like you would rather have had the support from my other half really .Try and find a time when he is in a better mood to talk to him about how you feel,hopefully things will improve .Jill.
AliOG
Member

Re: Emotional crash Week 1

Hi Jill and thanks for replying,

 

I think that is the main problem. He doesn't find talking easy at th best of times and I act as the social glue for all our friendships. Even when people phone up to see how he's doing he just passes the phone to me. He's been in a job where he's had to be emotionally tough and he's learnt to shut down as a coping mechanism. I've pointed him to support groups etc. but it's not his style. His withdrawal from me is making this whole process a lot harder than it already is. As I'm stuck in the house alone all day, I look forward to him coming home but I just get the silent treatment. It's so hard! I think I'd like a woman to look after me while I'm poorly! 

Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Emotional crash Week 1

Hi Ali,I haven't been through chemo but I totally understand where you are coming from .My husband has never been very good with illness and has been fortunate himself not to ever really had any significant health problems (fingers crossed).He was great in the beginning but definately got compassion fatigue as time went on and didn't really understand the mental rollercoaster we are on .Having cancer is a physical and mental onslaught .May be worth discussing with your GP whether medication may help with your low mood if it doesn't lift .Its very hard for partners too but frustrating when the person closest to you withdraws when you need their support most .Does he have anyone he can talk to ,he may be depressed himself and showing it in a different way.Hope you feel better soon .Jill.
AliOG
Member

Re: Emotional crash Week 1

Hi Anniej,

 

Sorry to hear you had that. Sounds nasty. I'm pretty sure mine wasn't fatigue as I was still able to function physically. Crying all the time and feeling hopeless when you're going through this treatment is really unpleasant. Unfortunately my husband isn't being very positive either which isn't helping. I'm sure me being in the depths of despair is hard to put up with so his response has been to clam up, retreat into his shell and stay there. I'm not sure either of us is going to make it through 6 rounds of chemo at this rate.

Anniej
Community Champion

Re: Emotional crash Week 1

Hi Ali, I was ok on first round, but second round I was a basket case. Crying at anything and everything. It never lifted, and I was physically unable to function as well. I ended up at my GPs and after a thorough physical and a telephone consultation with the on-call Onco I was diagnosed with extreme chemo fatigue . The result was a reduced dose of chemo for round three, and I was great on this. 

AliOG
Member

Emotional crash Week 1

Just wondering if anyone else has experienced a full on emotional crash during Week 1 of the chemo cycle. I had my first EC on Monday last week. Side effects were fatigue, dizziness, brain fog for first four days and then once I stopped the steroids, my mood plummeted. I spent days 5-7 crying virtually all the time and was beginning to fear I would never pull out of it. I've suffered from post natal depression in the past and this put the fear of god into me that it was back. Half way through day 7 (yesterday), it just lifted and I felt almost normal again. Finding the emotional side effects harder to deal with than the physical. Anyone else found this?