I had just turned 39 at dx and surgery. I had a big weep after surgery, it was beginning to feel real then after the whirlwind that starts when you're told you've got bc. I was worried about my children, then aged 4 and 2.
The emotions get us all in different ways. I'm usually really strong and after the wibble after surgery I was 'strong' throughout my chemo and rads, but when I went back to work I cried every day in the car on the way for weeks. Having bc changes you, and that takes a lot of getting used to.
Thanks for all your responses. I suddenly don't feel alone with this. Although I have got a great support network I had been told by the few people I know who have had BC that I would appreciate support from those who had gone/were going through it themselves and the comments really bear this out. Thank you for your advice and I will contact the hospital tomorrow or go and see my lovely GP. I have been given painkillers but they don't seem so effective this time so will ask about that too.
I also am struck by the number of young women who are on these forums - this isn't meant to happen to us.
Keep strong everyone
I too was 44 at dx. But that was three years ago, I'm now 47 and feeling fit & well. I had chemo, rads, herceptin, the whole lot took 22 months, it's a long haul, so hang on in there, but you will get through this and feel well again afterwards. There is life after breast cancer.
I'm now waiting for a recon next month, but that's another story!
Im new to the forum too and 44!!Why are so many of us under 50?? I was Diagnosed on 22 Dec had 1st op on 13th Jan and second one yesterday for further clearance, was devastated when i was told had to go back in again, asked if a masectomy would be better but con told me because he had to remove a large area of skin too he would also have to do a skin graft so easier option for further surgery, but felt slightly railroaded into the decision......if i have to go in again think i'll crack just want to get on with starting my chemo and rads> I'm usually upbeat too but finding it hard at the moment....
I'd phone your breast care nurse and ask her advice re pain, I was sent home with codeine and paracetomol but using heat wheaties too to ease the pain.
I'm so pleased Ive found this forum with people that can support us.
hi chelsea girl, wow r u 44? im 44 n was diagnosed on th 9th dec thts when my world changed also . i had my 1st op 22nd dec got results on 7thjan (due t xmas n new year). had second operation to remove all lymph nodes on 18th jan. know how u feel at the moment keep getting a seroma n sitting here with what seems like 2 boiled eggs under my arm having wine on top of pain killers for relief!!! cant believe how hard this second op is to recover from. just want to be ok again then get on with chemo n stuff great eh !!! xxxx
I know how you feel, I was in absolute agony after my second op - ended up back in hospital for a further week with wound infection.
You should have been given a phone number to ring if you had any problems after the op, I would ring that number so they can check that your wound is okay and not infected.
Sorry to hear you've had such a rotten time. I too had second surgery very quickly after the first - lumpectomy and then mastectomy. As women I think we sometimes forget that we are allowed to feel unwell and after two major operations anyone would feel low. With regard to support make sure you ask for help - I contacted my local GP practice when I came out of hospital and the district nurse regularly came round to see me and still does after each chemo. I also picked up the phone regularly to the BC nurses to ask the most stupid questions - they were lovely and will help if you ask although they may not ring you. Remember surgery is good - it gets rid of the cancer. Hope you're feeling better soon.
Hi - I'm so sorry you have had to join us here, it sounds like you've had a horrible time. I had 2 ops in two weeks too, I think it is very common. Lump and node sample first, then margin clearance and full node clearance, as unfortunately nearly all nodes infected. I am also lopsided - but better that than the alternative.
I think everyone is very shocked at the start, but the protocols are very well established for BC, so whilst I would never say don't question your consultant, I think the case for clearing margins is fairly clear cut. It is not uncommon to take a long time to recover from surgery, physically and emotionally, especially two close together. But the risk of leaving cancer cells in place is high - and if missed now, would require much more radical surgery later.
You really shouldn't be left in pain without support and pain meds - are you taking anything? have you spoken to your GP?
hi there, I too had two operations within a fortnight due to not getting clear margins, I was ok after the first op, second one was a nightmare, my boob was a disaster, the wound was a nightmare and had to go back to the hospital every couple of days to get it drained, ended up with what I can only describe as a colostomy bag attached to my boob!!!!
But here I am 7 months down the line and finnished treatment, you will get there
Hi I am new to the forums and new to breast cancer so please forgive the lack of abbreviations. I was diagnosed on 9th Dec 09 with invasive ductal carcinoma and had a lumpectomy on 14/1. Went for the follow up on 20/1 and consultant told me that further surgery was needed to get clear margins, although there had been no spread to lymph nodes. I am so ignorant in this new world that I did not think I was being told I had a choice more accepting it as inevitable and although I was devastated my nearest and dearest who were with me felt the fact that the surgeon was offering me another surgery date within eight days was really positve. I have never been railroaded into anyting in my life but agreed to the surgery and though I had just better get on with it and regard it as a minor setback.Recovered well from the first surgery and am generally fit an healthy so anticipated that the second smaller op would be straightforward. However since Thursday when I had the surgery I have been on the floor. I feel really upset that I wasn't given time to make the decision, I haven't been seen by a breast care nurse following either of my surgeries and was totally not expecting to be in as much pain. I am having a hard time looking at myself in teh mirror, although I thought the first surgery hardly made an impact I now think that I am totally lopsided. Family and friends are a bit blown away as well because I am normally so upbeat and have been since the diagnosis but I just am overwhelmed with how low I feel. Any comments would be gratefully appreciated.