I was diagnosed with invasive lobular carcinoma on 12th June, an unexpected finding on WLE for LCIS found on biopsy, following routine mammogram that showed an area of calcification that had grown since the last mammogram. Two weeks after the op I was admitted with sepsis and remained an inpatient for 16 days, pumped full of antibiotics, one of which I had an allergic reaction to, and had a large haematoma drained under GA during my stay, and finally discharged on 29th June. Last Friday I had yet another op for SLN biopsy. The results of which I will get on 7th August.
I am exhausted.
I am by nature a very positive person and have remained firmly positive through all this so far. This week I have noticed how alone I am in all this and my mood is sinking. I live alone, and although my two daughters have been fantastic and attended my appointments etc, in spite of a two hour drive to get to me, I AM alone.
How do you cope without the support of a partner? I have no savings to fall back on and only one more month of full salary. I try to keep things in the day but it just isn’t working this week. I know I am not the only one going through this and I am more fortunate than some with my very early diagnosis but I need to find some coping mechanisms and would welcome any advice.
Sorry for the long message but thank you for letting me ‘get if off my chest’ :cathappy:
BW
Alison
Some of us live in the past, always talking about back then. Some of us live in the future, always planning what we are going to do. And, then there are those, who neither look behind or ahead, but just enjoy the moment of right now
Oh gosh, you have had a bad time of it. I can’t be of too much help, as my op is only on the 9th August, and I can’t tell you what to do about your finances, as I am worrying about that myself. Are you able to get to Citizen’s advice? And we will try to give as much moral support as you need.
Hi Ali
Welcome to the forum.
Sounds like you’ve had a really tough time. No wonder you’re struggling now, because physically you’re exhausted and mentally still getting your head round it all. Things will improve as you recover.
I did have a partner before diagnosis, but he couldn’t cope with it, so I left. I was lucky to have friends and family close by to help. Is there anyone that can support you? Just a cup of tea and a chat would be really helpful now, right?
I think try and cope with one day at a time if possible. In terms of finances, I think MacMillan can help, so give them a call.
I’m sure other ladies will be along shortly with practical help and a sympathetic ear.
Sending a hug xx
Hello and a very warm welcome to this lovely website where you will get loads of help and support. One thing for sure is that you will never be alone whilst you have us lot and you come on here whnever you want to rant, rave cry and laugh with us, there is always someone on here xxx
Have you been referred to your occupational health dept in order so that things can be put into place to support you during this time as your employer has a duty of care to look after your health and wellbeing,
Do you have a Maggies Centre near you that you could go to where you will be able to meet people who are going through similar things as you?
Well, come and get it off your chest whenever you want to, Alison, there’s always someone around to chat to here.
You’ve certainly been through it, with all the complications as well, so it’s not surprising you’re feeling as you are at the mo.
There are certainly others here who are dealing with this on their own & even if family or friends are around, it can still be a lonely place to be.
As Helena says, is there any local support group or volunteer support where you are, your BCN would have details of anything available locally which may suit you.
Other ladies have found Macmillan useful for financial & emoyment advice as well as volunteer support, so it maybe worth contacting them.
Do come & chat whenever you need to, you’re not alone here.
hugs
ann x
Thank you everyone for making me feel less alone. Sorry I haven’t replied sooner.
I have taken time out and have got my head around things a bit more. I realise I need to find a local group or a ‘buddy’ to help me through this. That is my goal for the week ahead.
I am not good at asking for help but am starting to realise I cannot do this alone, and don’t have to. I hope I can offer others support in return.
Keep smiling everyone, and thank you again.
BW
Alison
Some of us live in the past, always talking about back then. Some of us live in the future, always planning what we are going to do. And, then there are those, who neither look behind or ahead, but just enjoy the moment of right now
Hi Alison,
So good to hear you now feel more settled on a way forward for you, that sounds really good.
When first diagnosed, I found it helpful to deal with things at a step at a time, as Helena says & tried not to think beyond the next appointment. This can help to feel a bit more in control & to avoid feeing too overwhelmed with it all.
ann x