End of relationship

[Rachy65]

Aww thanks for that hun. I've felt gutted all week,..everything has fell apart since my diagnosis and this just topped it for me..I've told him I didn't want to marry him either.I just hope I pull through all of this for my own sake if we split up I will be choosy xx

[ladybowler]

Rachy

I split up from a partner I had been with for 10 years because i suddenly realised, as a result of being housebound for 10 weeks and having to accept my demons, that this was a relationship that was doing me more harm than good, at the time I was 41 it was 1999.  It was the best thing I ever did, yes it was hard emotionally and financially but i survived. 

Six months later, when I was least expecting it, I met Colin, we have been together with 17 years now, he is the best thing that happened to me,  Unfortunately he was diagnosed with MS two years ago and with my diagnosis last year 2016 was a s**t year but we have got through it

The ony reason I am telling you this is hopefully to give you some support and confidence that you can move on from this, be who you want to be and not be controlled by someone else.

Sending you loads of hugs

Helena xx

[Optimissy64]

Rachy just want to send you a hug. (I also want to say what a B^s&*rd he sounds and you need to tell him that you have no intention of getting engaged to him either,  but I'm not sure that is appropriate on here.....) If I'm overstepping the mark then I apologise, but I feel very angry on your behalf. 

Value yourself for the woman you are, don't be defined by him. And I seem to have some old fashioned idea about marriage being about "in sickness and in health" Hmm.Look after yourself and get well for you. xxxxxxxx

[Rachy65]

HI Jack. .Thanks for that hun..I've just seen this really inconsiderate,selfish side to him that I hadn't seen before..sort of bully boy tactics..We were supposed to be getting engaged at The Lake District in September before all of this happened. .now he says he can't ask me to marry him because I am a wreck and he won't consider it untill I get myself right!! It really hurt me xx

[Jack36]

Hi Rachy65 ,my tumour was 3.5cm and a micromet in 1 lymph node ,oncologist had to ignore the micromet for me to have the test ,it came back 17 so no chemo 😊 ,had to wait 3wks for results so life was on hold but not now !!! I feel abit stuck financially as well but I will be prepared to move into a flat ,was hoping to cut down my days at work but if I go it alone I won't be able to so I have a lot to think about but I know things have to change as I'm not happy ,I'm giving him a chance but have made it clear I'm not giving him to long as life is to short to waste time !!! I need to start living and be happy and think we deserve it after what we have been through ! X

[Rachy65]

Hi Jack 36. .thankyou so much for reply. .have you had to have onco because of a large tumour like me?..my partner has completely changed since my diagnosis. .become a sort of bully. He totally disregards my thoughts of fear for the future and tells me to "pull myself together" . My onco has come back low too.. 15..so no chemo.I'm getting to the point now where I can't stand him,he is so thoughtless, bit at the mo I feel stuck as financialy I can't afford to set up on my own xx but I feel it coming x

[Jack36]

Hi Rachy65 , I've just had my results from oncotype test and have waited to see what they were before tackling my OH , my outlook on life has changed since being diagnosed and no longer prepared to put up with him sitting at home watching TV & drinking ! I've told him I want to live life & go out more and if he isn't prepared to make an effort then we will have to go our separate ways, I've apologised as it's me that has changed and now I want him to but I have made it clear he doesn't have to but I will leave if he doesn't !! I'm feeling strong and nothing scares me after what I have gone through, I do not want to waste any time enjoying my life , time to be selfish !!!! Hope it works out for you what ever you decide x

[Becca_BCC]

Hi Rachy, 

I'm sorry to hear that, it sounds like it's been building for a while, that must be really tough. 

Take care of yourself, 

Becca at Breast Cancer Care. 

[Rachy65]

Hi ladies .unfortunately I feel that my relationship is beginning to become unsalvagable..anyone else's relationship ended after treatment? Xx