Hello Buddyfan and Butterflyflyfree
Sorry, that you find yourselves here. I've only recently joined this group having been diagnosed with secondaries in my spine and possibly pelvis at the beginning of December. I am awaiting results of a detailed MRI scan which was done the week before Christmas - my appointment is next Monday and I am not enjoying the wait! I hope that we can support each other through these early days for us all.
We went to our neighbour's for a new year party last night (including Thomas and Mollie who are 15 and 12). Mollie and I made it til the early hours of this morning and husband & Thomas got home around 2.30am! I've been very accepting of my recent diagnosis so far, but having everyone hugging and exclaiming Happy New Year made me shed a few tears.
Well, I will wish all you lovely ladies a "happy new year", I'm sure we'll all make the best of it with your support and uplifting tales. xxx
Thank you SML for posting, think this time of year can be an emotional time for many, appreciate having young children must make things even more difficult for you and Riversidedawn.
Annej, thank you, I love reading posts like yours as I find it so inspiring to read and learn from what other people are doing. I know I should be doing more of the things you are, and it was already on my resolution list to take up more classes etc, so when I need the motivation I’ll return to your post!
Maria, Riversidedawn and Lindyloo, my heart goes out to you having scans and waiting for results at this time of year, fingers crossed that all goes well and we get to hear good news about you all in the new year!
Bon, I must’ve got my diagnosis within a few weeks of you, again with bone mets, like you then I couldn’t imagine I would get to where I am today and am also thankful having this time without chemo!
Wishing you all peace, health and happiness as we enter a new year, Kxx
Thank you so much for your kind words, you are all so thoughtful and it means a lot. I had scan today so now it's the waiting game, I hope you all have something nice planned for tomorrow night, whether it be a night out with friends and family or just a quiet evening in, you are all such strong ladies and whilst I don't often post I am so appreciative this forum xx
Hugs to you too, Carolyn52. I'm interested in your comment about the hormone pills .... as my insomnia is out of control at the moment. I'd thought it was a combination of general 'stuff' (i.e. can't switch my mind off) and steroids (making me a bit wired ... I've been prescribed them to help with breathing problems) ... but now wonder whether letrozole exacerbates it too. I'm wide awake half the night ... and it really doesn't help with the big picture coping .... as I'm knackered most of the day. Next week, I'm planning on returning to work after a couple of months of not really doing anything .... and I'm nervous at to how that's going to go .... in terms of being able to focus, but also stay awake!
Anyhow, thanks again everyone for the love and solidarity .... and warmest of greetings from a blustery Brighton!
Thank you so much, everyone, for your replies ... I'm so pleased I posted the message, it's really helped me feel connected.
To be honest, while loving Christmas, I've always found New Year tricky - as a time of looking forward, but also looking back and reflecting. This year it is especially hard as my diagnosis brings so many unknowns. When I look forward, I feel like my life telescopes in an out ... one minute fearing it will be very short, the next confident and determined I'll be here for many years to come. I particularly struggle as we have two relatively young kids (12 and 14) ... which, while fueling the determination, adds an extra dimension to the fear.
I particularly feel for those of you awaiting scans or results .... hard at the best of times, but extra hard at this time of year. I send you love.
And I agree about accessing all the help that's available. We're very fortunate to have a brand new Macmillan Centre here with lots on offer. However, there are still some days when I just want to curl up in my shell and just get through the day.
Thanks again and much love to everyone
I've been reading these posts early in the morning, always a difficult time for me so thank you all for sharing. Christmas and new year does make you think a lot about what's in store for you. I was diagnosed with bone mets in September 2015 and at the time would not have believed that 2 years later I would be having such a wonderful Christmas. I feel that, after the initial turmoil, I finally grew up (I'm 71) and learnt the value of the people around me and how to reach out to them. I'm lucky that i have had this period without chemo and have been in reasonable health. When first you are diagnosed you can't imagine that you will learn to live with it.
Anniej, you seem to have had some good support, it must be good to have a Maggie's centre nearby. This forum has been a blessing for me and through it i have met Carolyn and Barton.
Maria Louise and Riversidedawn. it's a bad time to have to be worrying about scan results. We are holding your hands and hoping with you.
Hi SML and Riversidedawn, I can sympathise with you. I was diagnosed with lung mets part way through my radiotherapy a couple of months ago. I was completely blindsided, and missed that my Onco was so matter of fact. I spent 48 hours in a crying fit, which didn't help at all! What has helped has been to talk about it. One of the district nurses called in to see me and although she was a bit clueless re secondaries, she was great at holding hands and listening. Maggies was my next port of call. The Secondary breast cancer lead took me through my diagnosis and explained everything calmly and clearly. She advised me to regard it as a chronic illness, albeit a nasty one. It's not going away, but it is treatable. The bottom line is, I'm living with BC, not dying from it. My Onco was matter of fact because he has drugs to treat me. In fact, a great big bag full. He's also got me onto a new one that NICE has just signed off on . I accessed some counselling from Maggies which was super. I went on a sleep management course for a few tips - you just can't think for a whirling mind. I had panic attacks which have now stopped for the most part. I'm on a mindfulness course which I love. The meditation helps you to think and live in the moment, so treasure each day. I exercise more , attending TaiChi and Pilates which puts me in contact with others in a similar situation , as well as helping tone muscles and develop core strength . I also attend a support group which has made me feel quite humble. There's always someone worse off, isn't there? Maggies has been a place of sanctuary and support, and I feel very blessed to be so near a centre. Another thing I have focused on is my family. I intend to stay around as long as possible for them! PM me if you need to talk. I have found there are good days, and not so good, days and nights. X
Maria and SML I was dx with mets 12 years ago the day b4 Thanksgiving. I knew my family thought it was my last Christmas. They put up every decoration we owned and bought more. The more they decorated the more miserable I was. I felt like I was being led around like Scrooge watching Christmas past, present and future and could only watch not touch my family or join in. I felt like I was allowed to just look through the window and they weren't mine any more. Then I woke up and realised I needed to join in again, I needed to emo t whatever time I had. That being miserable and distant was hurting them and me. So I joined life again and got busy living. Thankful I did. I would have wasted 12 years.
Maria scanxiety is tough! Hoping for the best for you!
SML, Each of us handles this differently. I thought maybe my story would help.
Just wanted to let you know you are not alone. I was diagnosed in Jan 2016 straight to Stage 4. I have a scan tomorrow and after a lovely Christmas with my beautiful girls and husband I feel totally overwhelmed by the worry of it all and just feel like sitting in a room and crying. Anyway I don't want to drag you down, just keep you company xx
Hello lovely people. I just wanted to touch base with others as we head towards the New Year. I was diagnosed in September ('straight to Stage 4') and, after the turmoil of the first few weeks, am now on treatment and, I think, reasonably stable. However, I'm still really struggling with the emotional side of things. I wasn't sure I'd make it to Christmas, but evidently did! Now, I look forward to the New Year ... with a sense of determination, but also with huge worry about what's in store.
I know some of you have been diagnosed for way longer and been through all kinds of experiences. I'd really appreciate any thoughts on how you cope with balancing out the reality of a pretty horrendous diagnosis with finding a 'new normal' and planning for the future.
Maybe I'll feel better once the New Year actual starts ... this is always a weird limbo time of year!
Love to you all