I am sorry to read that you're going through a really tough time at the moment. I'm sure some of the other users will be a long soon to offer you their experiences and support.
In the mean time you might find it helpful to talk to a member of staff on the BCC helpline. Here you can talk through your questions and concerns with someone who will offer you emotional support and practical information. The number to call is 0808 800 6000 and the lines are open Monday to Friday 9 to 5pm and Satuday 10 to 2pm.
Best wishes Sam, BCC Facilitator