Feeling very alone. Treatment all done in 2007. Had Ld recon now waiting for tidy up op probably in October or November. No problem with that prospect.
My problem is and i am sorry to moan, that i have no job and no friends.
I have my husband and sons, 3 of whom live away from home, but no friends.
My job was taken away from me earlier this year and i miss it so much. I fought to get through bc, chemo, rads and the horrible hormone therapies to get the life back i had prior to bc. Yet it seems to be disappearing.
I had friends at work, my own salary and i loved my job. Now that’s all gone and i am on Esa trying to get a job with little or no chance when potential employers find out i was sacked from my last job, the door soon closes on me.
I apologise for this posting just desperate to offload to others who know how it feels to go through so much then feel so alone
Please do not be on your own, I am sure there will be plenty of people who will contact you through this web page.
I have just recently finished treatment and my employers really weren’t interested in it at all.
Keep trying for employment although I know that is easier said than done considering how it is at the moment, but I am sure that others will contact you also.
Is there any charity work you could do, perhaps at the local hospitals etc? I was so impressed at what our local cancer hospital did, so I am sure that volunteers would be needed.
I think what it is with people, you either get them being really sympathetic when you having treatment, but when it is finished they stop asking you.
Regards
I know exactly what you mean - I have two sons that have just left home and my youngest had his baby in May 2009 and moved in with his girl and I had mastectomy in June 2009. Made redundant from teaching 2008 as GB said that all 16+ exclusion kids (disaffected youth) were to stay in school until 19 - ha so we didnt get funding and two centres closed. The kids not going to school, excluded or independent living, youth offending - where are they all going now??? staying on at school until 19 of course hahahaha its sad - anyhoo I digress - I am now on Tamoxifen and all that comes with it and searching for work.
I say to the boys that they must have their lives and not worry about me but I do think that we are sometimes seeing the glass half empty.
Look to what you do have and how lucky you are - My eldest for years used to slam the front door but I never stopped it because I knew that one day it wouldnt slam. That time has come and I look forward to the granchildren occupying my time.
We feel like this because it makes us realise what has gone out of our lives. Concentrate on doing something about it. I am concentrating on getting a job, starting a course and updating my maths as I missed the metric measurements and you cant cook with a spreadsheet!
Decide exactly what you want and plan everything you do and you will feel instantly better about things.
I do feel for you as I understand what you feel and have started to put things together for moving forward and now I feel so much better.
I’m self employed in our business, but mostly doing part time hours as I’m combining work and study. However, I was experiencing intermittent confidence issues when dealing with work things, so I’ve recently taken on some voluntary work one afternoon a week at a local charity. I’m finding it helps and there are a fair amount of office staff there. The training is also good as you have to do 12 weeks, some of it in other offices in the area. Some of the clientele can be challenging as it’s a homeless project, but I didn’t want to do charity work involving cancer as in my case I felt I wouldn’t be moving forward if I did that.
I’m also doing a couple of websites for myself as work projects (one is a shop, the other just a hobby thing) and the charity have asked if I would be interested in giving them a view on their website.
You will always have frends on here.You have my number-just ring me anytime if you need to chat.It seems so unfair that you are out of work through no fault of your own.What about working in a charity shop or similar just to help you meet some new people and get out of the house.Take care dear C.Love Valx
Sorry you’re feeling so down. I felt that when I went back to work it was a struggle but it was the normaility as much as the salary I needed. Luckily my manager has been excellent, it helps that I work in a hospital I think, people are much more aware of effects of treatment etc. Also, she very much takes account of the psycological effect the illness has.
How about maybe doing some volunteering at your local hospital? A lot of people that go this route at our Trust then go on to successfully apply for positions either through an agency or the hospital direct (because they’ve got experience from volunteering there). There are many different sorts of admin posts - I don’t know what your previous occupation was?
Hi mounties,
Sorry to hear you’re feeling so isolated. Are there any support groups local to you? After the mx I joined a post surgery sports group (badminton swimming yoga) and was amazed how much better I felt after a 20 minute walk there, an hour class and a coffee afterwards. I’ve also tried voluntary work and agree it helps just to spend some time with other people. When I was diagnosed I was doing an Open University course and picked this up again later which was a good distraction but also there were some tutorials so a reason to go out and meet people again.
Hope you do find something to help soon.
Best Wishes
Misha
Hi
I am so sorry that you feel that way it is just an awful feeling.
I myself have just managed to hold onto my job but had a fight about my job spec changing. They have my life hell at times but i need to work and threaten to go to the union. I know this is of no help to you but it is sometimes a cruel world.
Volunteer work maybe the way to go…if only to get you out of the house and building up your self esteem.
You do not say what happened to loose your job but employers are not allowed to give bad leaving reports but can refuse to give a reference. If you do volunteer work for a spell you could references from this to help you back into work.
You could retrain or go back to studying as a mature student which you get funding for.
Please donot apologise for posting as this site is all about supporting people when they are feeling low and vunable.
A Huge Hug for you and keep us informed on your process and i look forward to hearing from you soon.