So many of us seem to feel this way.Have never once felt ill,. When the district nurse saw me day after op S I still had drain and had to check me she couldnt believe had op day before, as i looked so well, As im 67 did she expect a "little old lady"lol. Glad im not only one feeling this is not happening to me, june
Still on the fraud list!
Work suggesting I "give myself time", OH saying he'll take leave to look after me. Feeling like I'm being smothered.
So hope I'll be like Cazz.
Seems strange to feel so fit and yet know there is a nasty little Storm fighting in my d cup!
Also sooooo relieved that I'm not alone in this fiasco
Hugs to you Sunflower. Enjoy the peace.
Yes, completely feel like this, although .... had surgery on 12th Feb and am now realising that the results appointment might not be as straight forward as I thought it would be. Also, will be on drugs for at least 5 years, and have a lifetime risk of lymphoedema, so not quite the, "I'll be better by September" message I took from my first appointment. Decisions have had to be made so fast, that this week after surgery has been a chance to process a lot. Also, massively bunged up so not enjoying that!!!
Hi , i felt exactly the same as you. I was diagnosed last October and didnt really react as i felt so well. I just carried on as normal really. told my family but was really calm and didnt want any fuss.
I had the lumpectomy and lymph node removal and have recently finished radiotherapy and have now started taking tamoxifen but still do not feel like i have had cancer .
I wonder if it just hasnt hit me yet or its my way of coping by pretending its happened to someone else, I helped nurse my Dad through teminal prostrate cancer and when i lost him 17 months ago my partner then had to have his leg amputated so i just transferred the caring from my Dad to him..
Your not alone in feeling like you do, whatever the reason, we all react differently. xx
Goodness its nice to know im not only one feeling like i do with this it cant be me stuff. Strange thing is as soon as i found lump say after boxing day in the bath, though it never felt like was happening to me, i always knew was cancerous people said o probably a cyst you are so healthy but i knew. Im not sure how people expected me to behave, one of my closest friends thinks im selfish cause ive said i dont want chemo if i can avoid it as my risk if dont have it wouldnt be much higher. Weve practcally fallen out over it. I had the operation, seeing oncologist next week, def have to have rads and tablets ok with that but i dont want to put chemo into me unless i have to, i feel healthy still and myself i dont want to become "not myself" can anyone understand that. People seem to expect you to grow 2 heads and become a different sort of person, but why. The friend i mention is now saying ive always been negative cause as i hate retirement and have never been able to get a part time job i should have done volunatary work, and should now, cause of the cancer, why if i didnt want to do before why does she think i would now, im still me,. june
Hi storminadcup (great name by the way!)
Yup, I feel a fraud but sort of in reverse. When I was diagnosed I read all the leaflets, did a gazillion google searches etc and kept reading this 'life changing' thing that was happening to me and worried about what those changes would be and just how bad it was going to get. It was one of the few times I wished I didn't have so much imagination! Although I didn't have any public meltdowns I did have more than a few sleepless, teary nights as I worried about whether it had spread, how I would cope with the treatments, all the practical things around keeping my life running through what could potentially be a long illness.
I was/am one of the lucky ones though in that the WLE/lymph node surgery got it all out in one go, no sign of spread to the nodes so I don't need any more surgery or any chemo. Now it's three weeks after surgery I feel completely well and have my normal energy levels back so I feel a bit of a fraud when I have to tell people that I have/I had cancer as they assume I must have been through a nightmare and it hasn't been all that bad.
Sorry to be a bit rambling, but what I'm trying to say is that it is difficult to know what to think and therefore what to feel until you know what it is that you are dealing with which you won't know until after the surgery is done and you find out what the rest of your journey looks like. I hope you are also one of the lucky ones and wish you all the luck in the world with your operation and recovery.
Thank you all for helping. Guess it will really hit when I start packing my bag and buying new bras....
bit like waiting for a baby but in reverse!!
I too felt a fraud - and still do. I only had a small tumour and 15 sessions of RT last May. I've never felt ill just a little sore after the op, have very few side-effects of anastrozole and have carried on my life as before. I do feel a guilty when I read of other people's problems but also very very grateful that a routine mammo found the lump before it made its presence felt.
I consider myself very lucky and just hope that my luck continues. We're all different personalities as people and our cancers also have different 'personalities'. Concentrate on keeping well and helping your family and friends realise that these days Cancer, although more and more people are experiencing it, isn't necessarily a death sentence.
No you are not a fraud, ive never once felt ill, ever,, thats why it seems like its not happening to me and sometimes it still doesent, though ive had lump removed, seen surgeon, still sore but never really had any pain, Now waiting to see the oncologist as i have to to decide on chemo myself as risk not much higher of reoccurrence if i dont. When people said how are you, and one of my friends who as i live alone always panicked if i missed at text or phone call thinking i wasnt all right, id say yes im fine why wouldnt i be.I think the scary thing is it does seem so much to happen to women who are normally very healthy, why is this, it isnt lifestyle like many cancers, but then again it is easy to treat than many other cancers, Surely though research should look into why it seems to affect so many women who do everything right and still get it.june
No not a fraud
I went through quite a while thinking this isn't me - I feel fit and healthy, definitely not unwell at all.
Unfortunately it did hit in one big go. tell OH you need support not anger - he'll get over that anyway
it is hard for those close to you because they can do nothng really for you.
All the best
Keep coming on here it is a great source of support and information
I am sure your fellow forum users will be along soon to share their own experiences with you, but in the meantime I have put for you below the link to a couple of BCC's publications you and your family might find helpful. Also the link to the area of this website where being newly diagnosed is discussed further.
Well now I've told my family and close friends. Experienced a mix of reactions. Shock and tears from some; "what a pickle we're in" from my parents (dad has prostrate with secondaries so was concerned about telling him needn't have been); suffocation "we'll be there for you etc etc"; my daughter (14) was amazing and went and got breast cancer leaflets she'd had a school; my son (21) needing space; my husband being angry at the slightest thing.
But me ....
I feel nothing, its all just words, I'm fit healthy capable and so this feels like I'm a fraud.
Does anyone else understand this....