I have breast cancer. Stage 2 invasive ductal I started chemo last Monday. To say I’ve been ill is an understatement . This is the first day I’ve felt a little bit better although still so so weak/ fatigued/ the sickness has been the worst!!! Continuous vomiting at the wk end…called a off duty doctor sat who gave me more sickness tabs…then by Sunday I was in the worst state I think I’ve ever been in. The sickness was horrendous…called an ambulance I was freezing cold hot sweats servere stomach pain and continuous throwing up. Haven’t eaten since last Friday. I had a slice of bread today I have no support. I am home alone. I called my nurse last weds to say I couldn’t eat and I was so weak. She started having a go a me. So badly I had to put the phone down where I was so upset at her behaviour. I said I felt I had taken to the chemo badly and this was before what happened to me at the wk end. The hospital at the wk end must have made barts aware I was in at the wk end and yet she hasn’t contacted me once this week. I’m to afraid to call her because she starts having a go.
I feel so alone and so sick and weak. I also only lost my mum 4 months ago.
I cared for her for 4 years. I’m still grieving and I’m so hurt.
I wanted my breast removed as I didn’t want to go through 4/6 months of chemo. Yet I mentioned it to my oncologist and was shut down. I have spent in total since my diagnosis 25 mins with the doctor who gave me my diagnosis which was 2 x appointments and 1 x appointment with my oncologist. None of anything was explained none of any options where given. So far I’m totally shocked how I’ve been treated under barts.
I can’t have any more chemo and be this sick alone and so IIl. So I want my breast off and I don’t want this chemo. My nurse having a go because I haven’t been eating…as I said I messed myself twice because I couldn’t make the toilet so how can I make food while puking up?? She said not eating was very bad… she just not listening how ill I have been. She also said that 80 year old women have chemo and have to live alone? I’m wondering if that’s true?? Or a ploy to stop me from saying I’m sick and should be greatful or something?? Any advise please. I’m so scared so alone and not coping where I’m so sick. Also my throat feels like it’s on fire and my head is so itchie… I’m so scared what can I do living alone and being so sick with the chemo
Thanks
Hi Nicki
I’m so sorry that you feel like you’re going through this on your own.
I have a few suggestions for you…you can contact the nurses here on this website, either by phone or email and they will be very supportive. Also, join the chemotherapy thread on the Going through Treatment section. There will be lots of others going through the same treatment as you and you will be able to support each other. Lastly, how supportive is your gp? Or the chemo nurses?
Things will get better and you will get through this.
Sending a hug x
Hi Nicki,
I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve been going through such a horrendous time and that you’re alon in all this. As Sue mentioned, please feel free to call our helpline on 0808 800 6000, who will be able to talk you through any questions you have and offer a friendly ear.
The opening hours are below:
Monday-Friday, 9am-5pm
Late opening Wednesday, 9am-7pm
Saturday, 9am-1pm
Best wishes,
Bonita
Hi there Nicki,
It can be tough coping with all that on your own - having a BCN who is unhelpful makes you feel the lack of support too. So soon after losing your Mum, when you are still grieving, will also mean you are feeling raw still. Be as kind to yourself as you can.
I was diagnosed about 18 months after losing my Dad, who I had cared for 13 years, and was on my own for my chemo (in 2014) and reacted badly to it (not as badly as you!). I also got a stroppy chemo nurse when I called at a weekend. Thankfully, my BCN was helpful on other occasions when she was available, so I did at least feel I had someone on my side at the hospital. That said, I only once had a follow-up telephone call after a problem, they were all so busy. Ask for another BCN, it is unusual for them to be anything but supportive, also look for support through Macmillan - they may have a unit at the hospital.
I found all the medical staff were under so much pressure to get so many patients through the system, that they often did not have much time to explain, although mostly they did at least try. This website and the Macmillan website have helpful explanations, although keep in mind that we are all different and the medics cannot predict exactly how we will react to drugs etc. Do not Google - it brings up all sorts of innaccurate and misleading stuff that is hard to identify from the genuine good information, which will confuse and may frighten you unnecessarily.
I am not a medic, and of course do not know all your medical details, but - I wouldn’t have thought having your breast removed would necessarily mean you would not need chemo, to give you the best chance of long term recovery. You must talk to someone who knows much more than I do about this, as others have said here, start with the Breast Cancer Care nurses.
Sorry to have waffled on so long. Thinking of you, be sure to let us know how you are getting on.