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Feeling Pathetic

35 REPLIES 35
Downbutnotout
Member

Re: Feeling Pathetic

Hi Faye

Sorry to hear you're having such a hard time. No wonder you're worried with all you've been through already because of the disease, and being so young with a young family. You're not being silly at all. We've all been there, waiting. As everyone says, it's the hardest time, worrying and wondering.

Do remember that 9 out of 10 referrals are not cancer. Although I have had cancer I've also had a cyst and lipoma, which are non cancerous, so it could just be something like that. If it's not the news you're hoping for, however, once you know it's easier to deal with when treatment starts. But fingers crossed it's a negative result.

In terms of the clinic, do take someone with you as it's such a stressful time and if you get the result the same day it would be good to have support, either way. At fast track clinincs they do try to let people know on the same day if possible but if you need a core biopsy it takes a few days - I was told it would be at least a week for those results. I knew when I was phoned at work after 6 days and asked if I could make an appointment first thing the following morning that it wasn't the news I was hoping for.

Try to pamper yourself, do nice things with your children and partner. Get plenty of exercise - it really helps. Try deep breathing exercises as well. DO NOT GOOGLE. Wait to hear what the professionals have to say. Also, the BCC helpline are wonderful. They make you feel so much calmer - so do give them a call, I'm sure that will help.

Please let us know how you get on - we like good news stories on here. There's been a few worried ladies on the Forum just in recent days and they've now had good news and are out and about celebrating. But if it's not the news you want you'll find lots of support and advice on the Forum from people who understand.

Take care. We're here if you need us.
Flori X

Mummyto2
Member

Re: Feeling Pathetic

Thankyou for the reply Lucy, it was in the 'worried' section of the forum where I tried to create a post, not sure if I'm doing something wrong, but it does say every time I try to post that the site is having technical difficulties.

Sarah, all the best for your appointment on Monday, I really hope you get the results you want to.and I'm so sorry you lost your parents to cancer.
Faye xxx
SaraWag
Member

Re: Feeling Pathetic

Hi
It is the not knowing thats torture. Monday seemed at first to be ages away, but now it close, too close
I can feel my anxiety levels are higher and higher. I know I need to keep level as don't want daughter to pick up on anything.
I promise to keep to this site, I have been on Google but know I shouldn't.
I am prepared for the worst I think, I've got a deep down feeling it is BC. Lost both parents to cancer (55 & 62) - but still praying and hoping for a miracle to keep me here for my most precious and beautiful daughter.
Thanks for the cyber hugs (wish my mum could give me a big hug too
xx
Lucy_BCC
Member

Re: Feeling Pathetic

Hi Faye and welcome to the BCC forums

In addition to the support and shared experiences here please feel free to call our helpline on 0808 800 6000, lines are open weekdays 9-5 and Sat 10-2

I am posting a link to the BCC 'Worried' information page where you will find further information and support ideas:

http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/worried

Take care

Lucy

Mummyto2
Member

Re: Feeling Pathetic

Hi there, I'm so sorry to crash your post, I've just joined the forum and cannot seem to make a post of my own, it's saying there are problems, I'm desperate for some advice so I really hope you don't mind me putting my post on the end of this one?? I feel awful!!!?.....

Hi all, and Thankyou for reading, I'm 32 recently got married, I have a 12 yr old daughter & 2 yr old son. Life is/was perfect.
I found a lump in my breat about a month ago now and finally plucked up the courage to go to the docs this week, I have been referred to the breast clinic by my doctor and I'mabsolutely petrified. My beautiful brother died on his 26th birthday of secondary liver cancer 9 years ago and I can't bear the thought of putting my parents through this heartache again. We have had our fair share of this vile disease already 😞
My husband is trying to keep me very positive, but I know he's being very naive by thinking this sort of thing won't happen to us, but with everything that happened to my brother I'm just so frightened. I can't even look at my children without welling up, I feel silly in some ways because it could be nothing, but I can't help think of the worst.
How do I get through the next week or so before my clinic appointment, aNd would I find out the same day if it's bad news? Should I take someone with me? many thanks, Faye xx
SaraWag
Member

Re: Feeling Pathetic

Thank you so much, your words are kind and helping me think a little differently.
I am going to The Nottingham City Hospital Breast Clinic on Monday with my sister. Even this makes my heart burst as I just can't bear to put her through it, especially if I am diagnosed with BC.
Not talked to my daughter yet, trying to protect her at the moment and don't want to worry her.
Big deep breaths.
Thanks to everyone for their support too.
Means a lot.
xx
catsmother21
Member

Re: Feeling Pathetic

Thank you Katy - hope your fingers and toes feel less cramped now that you don't have to cross them for us anymore.

You take care too my lovely 🙂

Debs
xxxx

katytc
Member

Re: Feeling Pathetic

Wonderful news girls, can uncross my fingers and toes now, take care !! xx

catsmother21
Member

Re: Feeling Pathetic

Thank you so much Leanne, Flori, Shawshank and Kate. xxxx

kate40club
Member

Re: Feeling Pathetic

Fantastic news ladies 🙂 soo happy for you x
shawshankredem
Member

Re: Feeling Pathetic

so glad u dont have to join us on here all the best x
sue x
Downbutnotout
Member

Re: Feeling Pathetic

Debs and Leanne - Fantastic! That's great to hear. I dare say it'll take a while to get over the sleeplessness and stress of recent days and weeks but I hope you can both settle now and get on with your lives with a bit less to worry about. I suggest a bit more pampering for good measure.
X

Leanne_xoxo
Member

Re: Feeling Pathetic

Debs I am so pleased for you. Brilliant news.

i was so calm today, the waiting and not knowing was awful but today I felt really calm. Luckily I got the all clear too. Thank you so much to everyone on here for all the support and kind words xx
catsmother21
Member

Re: Feeling Pathetic

Thank you Flori and Jacqui thanks for the best wishes - it is good news and am just about to post in the good new forum xxxx

swanie
Member

Re: Feeling Pathetic

Hi Debs and Sarawag
No No No you are not pathetic - the waiting is the worst part of all this. The only bit of advice I can offer as anold lag on this site is do not look at posts that go beyond your immediate situation I.e. don't start looking at the chemo site - it may never happen and you can scare the pants of yourself for nothing. find out what to expect on the first appointment and thing about what you need to ask - write it down and do take a friend. You always forget stuff.
Good luck ladies - i hope it is all a flase alarm. Whatever happens you do somehow get through it.
post again and let us know what happend.
cyber hugs - Jacqui

Downbutnotout
Member

Re: Feeling Pathetic

Debs - I hope you got a good, negative result today.

Leanne - good luck for tomorrow.

SaraWag - try some deep breathing, get out for a walk each day to help calm yourself down. Do like Debs, pamper yourself and do nice things. I can understand that all you can think about is your daughter - what an awful situation to be in. I don't have children, so that was one less worry, other than my niece who was devastated when she found out as we're very close.

Remind yourselves - 9 out of 10 people referred to the clinic don't have cancer. I've had other panics since my diagnosis. I found another lump just before my 5th chemo, just below my scar, but following a biopsy it turned out to be a cyst. Then I found a lump in my leg, but that's a harmless lipoma. I developed a swelling on my face, but that was an infection in my salivary gland! These things are all out to frighten me/us, however, there's often a simple and harmless reason behind lumps and bumps.

Best luck to you all who are waiting. As everyone says, that is by far the hardest time. If all is well, then you can put it all behind you and carry on as normal. If it's not the news you were hoping for at least you'll know what you're dealing with and will have a timescale for what happens next, which really helps because it gives you some focus. Anyway, do write to let us know how you get on. We particularly like to hear good news stories here on the Forum.

X

shawshankredem
Member

Re: Feeling Pathetic

hi sarahwag
sendin u a great big hug
u r feeling exactly the same as everyone else my kids r 5,6,n 8 n the fear of not seeing them grow up was the worst feelin ever its the not knowing everyone on here will tell u the not knowing is the worst part as u dont no wat to expect so have nothing to focus on i was UNUSUALLY 4 weeks waiting 4 my results after been told it looked verry much like breast cancer i got the results i was expecting 2 weeks ago n now im feelin ok i had sentinal node biop on tue they r rushing these resultst through as theyv booked me in 4 mastectomy n diep flap recon on mon 15th oct so at last things r moving fast n im feelin ok about the op n once its over n im recovering i can consentrate on the next stage... radio n chemo hope so much u get GOOD news n dont have to join us on here BUT.... if u do have to join us try n stay possitive u will get great support on here even if u just need a rant to let off steam everyone will understand wat u feeling/going through u will kick its arse dont google u will only scare yr self stick to this site n mcmillan also great 4 support will b thinkin about u on mon let us no how u get on hope u get fast GOOD results sending u all the luck in the world big hugs x
sue x
kate40club
Member

Re: Feeling Pathetic

Hi Sarawag
So sorry to hear your news its the worst time for you 'the not knowing' and the waiting and the thinking and then the thinking about thinking!! ARGGG !! your not on your own and you have come to the right place for some support while you need it...this site is amazing and your questions will always be answered..I would just like to wish you all the best and hope everything is good for you!!
sending a BIG cyber hug 🙂
Kate x
carrie35
Member

Re: Feeling Pathetic

Hi Sara Wag where are you going? Your not leaving your daughter your just dealing with an illness and as any illness there are treatments. Stop panicking you might not have BC and if ou do there are a whole medical team at your beck and call to sort you out and get rid on it. Take one day at a time, try not to worry and believe me I know that one is difficult. The 15th is days away, focus on normal family time and don't think about it till you are actually at your appointment. Take someone with you for support. Remember many lumps are benign, I have had several cysts drained over the years. X

SaraWag
Member

Re: Feeling Pathetic

I'm new to this, been reading the posts for a few days and trying to pluck up the courage to write down my worst fears.
I have found a small lump in my left breast and have been referred by my GP to the Hospital Breast Clinic on Monday 15th.
I am doubled over with fear - sometimes I can't breath.
My biggest fear is leaving my daughter, who is 13. Since I found the lump, my daughter is all I can think about.
I haven't been diagnosed yet, but am just fearing the worst I think.
shawshankredem
Member

Re: Feeling Pathetic

hi
how did it go today wen do u get results hope u dont have to wait too long x
sue x
dib
Member

Re: Feeling Pathetic

good luck to you all and your certainly not pathetic,we all cope in different ways,hope it all goes well,
Di.x

catsmother21
Member

Re: Feeling Pathetic

Thank you so much Michelle, Sue and Karen. Your words of support are really helping me 🙂

Debs
xxxx

salonen13
Member

Re: Feeling Pathetic

Hope everything goes well for you today Debs and for you on Friday Leanne_xoxo
Its the worst feeling not knowing what it is and what they are going to tell you.
We have all been there and its not pleasant. I actually felt better once I knew what it was as I could understand what needed to happen to get rid of my lump, hopefully your diagnosis will be non Cancer related.

Good luck and take care
Karen
shawshankredem
Member

Re: Feeling Pathetic

wishin u all the luck in the world keepin everythig crossed 4 u hope sooooooo much u get good news n that u dont have to join us on here. but...... if u do have to everyon on here r a great support i was diagnosed 2 weeks ago after a 4 week wait i had op on tue 9th to remove first lymphnode n they r gonna rush the results through as iv been booked in mon 15thoct 4 mast n diep flap recon then im gonn need radio n chemo.everyone on here says the waitin room is the worst part n b4 i had results my head was all over the place but as soon as i had the results i was strangley ok op on tue went fine n im not in any pain so bring on mon.sendin hugs x
sue x
shelly79
Member

Re: Feeling Pathetic

Good Luck today Catsmother and for Leanne tomorrow, thinking of you bothXXXX

catsmother21
Member

Re: Feeling Pathetic

Thank you so much Katytc and kate40club - the good luck wishes are very much appreciated and mean a lot.

Debs
xx

kate40club
Member

Re: Feeling Pathetic

Good Luck ladies ....sending BIG hugs:) xx
katytc
Member

Re: Feeling Pathetic

Best of luck for you today, fingers and toes crossed and lots of hugs xx

catsmother21
Member

Re: Feeling Pathetic

Hi Maggie

Thank you for your lovely and understanding post. The wierd thing is that I can't cry, it all seems to be stuck inside me. I wish I could have done at some point over the last week to release some of the emotion.

Thank you for wishing me all the best for today as well. 🙂

My appt is at 2pm and so I am going to spend the morning pampering myself and then I will be going to meet my partner at the train station and we will go to the hospital from there.

Not long to go now!!

Debs
xx

applestreet
Member

Re: Feeling Pathetic

Oh you poor love...you're not pathetic at all you're just anxious and it's perfectly normal...finding a lump is a hideous situation to be in and waiting to go to the clinic is just the pits...I was dx last year and between finding my lump and going to be dx I cried a lake of tears...it's a wonder my husband didn't need a swimming boulie...this is from the woman who never panics at anything..glass is always half full etc...I am that laid back normally I'm almost horizontal..I found my lump and went a bit loopy for almost 6 weeks until the surgeon removed it...even then I'm not back to normal..well my normal...yet...I also progged and poked my lump and made it even more sore than it was!!!!!....you are just a human lady that is in a bit of turmoil...be kind to yourself...I wish you all the best at your appt and the door to freedom is opened to you...also you leanne...the same for you for friday...Maggie

catsmother21
Member

Re: Feeling Pathetic

Hi Leanne

Me too - up and down, thinking it won't be anything serious one minute and then thinking the worst the next.

So sorry that you are going through this too. I can manage to distract myself for a while but then I find myself checking it again.

Thank you so much for your best wishes for tomorrow and I am returning them to you for your appt on Friday.

Debs
xxxx

Leanne_xoxo
Member

Re: Feeling Pathetic

I'm doing the same, keep checking, yup it's still there... I'm so up and down. It isn't pathetic it's natural to worry. I had a major freak out on Monday, have calmed down now but it's so difficult to think off anything else isn't it.

best wishes for you tomorrow, I hope it's better news than you've been preparing for. My turn on Friday x
catsmother21
Member

Re: Feeling Pathetic

Thank you Michelle for your lovely reassurance when I know that you are nervous as well.

I'm going to go upstairs, put some feel good music on and do some ironing - that should keep me busy for a while!

Debs xxxx

shelly79
Member

Re: Feeling Pathetic

Don't feel bad, it's natural to feel like this. Stop giving yourself a hard time.
It's when we don't know what's going on it's the worst thing and we worry about everything.
Just remember your not alone on here, as you have helped me with your posts, I hope this helps you abit
REMEMBER YOUR NOT PATHETIC!!!!! YOUR HUMAN!
Take CareXXXX

catsmother21
Member

Feeling Pathetic

I have my first appt at the breast clinic tomorrow. I've been lucky in that I have only had to wait a week for my appt and I have been keeping myself busy to keep myself distracted but today, I am nearly bent double with anxiety. I can't leave the stupid lump alone and keep checking to see if by magic it has disappeared but it hasn't.

I have read quite a few posts about what some of the ladies have been through on here and I'm in this state when I haven't even been dx-ed yet?!

Feel so pathetic 😞