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Feeling a bit numb...

10 REPLIES 10
Jaine
Member

Re: Feeling a bit numb...

It's good to hear from people at different stages, I guess we are all going through similiar feelings.  My WLE is Wednesday, so though I had been beginning to feel less stressed, I am starting to get anxious again.  Results on 3rd December, then hopefully will know more for definite, and the final treatment plan, but definitely Radiotherapy in January.  At least I'll be relatively OK for Christmas.  Will be trying the relaxation stuff I think I'll need it.   Keep calm and Carry On!

Rowan44
Member

Re: Feeling a bit numb...

Hi Frances

I dont know how I will be after surgery and they said 3 weeks for the results ! things seem to move far slower than I would like but I suppose in a way that is good as too fast would also be bad .

I am keeping busy and keeping positive

Glad your drain is out and you are on the mend

keep in touch  we all need to support one another through this

R xx

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Feeling a bit numb...

Hello Rowan, just want to say hello, as even I feel tha you wait until 3 Dec is a fairly long one.

Your relaxation websites sound good and by focussing on moving forward, you are doing all the right things.

 

Well my ANC and wider margins op was 7 days ago now and so I visit the surgeon (again) tomos!  eek  I actually dont think anything of it it now - god or bad - feel kind of resigned.  I thought about it all so much after first op and obvs it got me nowhere 🙂  I guess what will be, will be.

 

Oh yeah, my drain came out today!  What a relief! it was the weirdest sensation ever

 

Sending ou lots of love and positivity

 

Frances xx

Rowan44
Member

Re: Feeling a bit numb...

I am 2 weeks into Diagnosis  and can fully empathise and sympathise with everything on this thread , I am 47 not sure if I am menopausal as I was on Cerezette to stop periods  found a fair sized lump in my breast and to my dismay another in the axilla .. the lumps have appeared within about 2 months !  told it is a grade 3 tumour with axillary spread so I am booked for mastectomy and axillary node clearance 3rd of December .

one day I am up the next I am scared and depressed. I havent been offered scans and I keep thinking if it has got that far where else has it got ?

I have been doing some relaxation techniques they have really helped me   I know it sounds like mumbo  jumbo but I think it can help me visualise my recovery and I am willing to try anything ! http://youtu.be/KrKPb9jt-GU is the link to one about surgery and helping you to be less anxious . The therapist also has another free download called spontaneous remission http://www.debbiewilliamsrecordings.com/free_download.htm , its  been helpful for me so I thought I would share its worth a go ?

Hope this helps

R xxx

 

Jonamo
Member

Re: Feeling a bit numb...

Thank you all for your replies. Your thoughts and experiences are invaluable. It really does help knowing you are not alone, though of course would not wish this on anyone! Feeling a bit better today. Usually takes me a couple of days to digest the bad news and then I am ok and move forwards. Tomorrow I have my bone scan and should have my results just after Tuesday. I also have my pre-chemo assessment.
Tracy, it sounds like we are in a very similar place re our other similar disease and we will possibly be having chemo at the same time. I was also on 22.5mg Methotrexate, though have been off it over the operation period and am now off it as starting chemo with diff drugs. Apparently I will receive lots of steroids as well which may help my AS too.
Hugs to you all. Xx
Tracy1967
Member

Re: Feeling a bit numb...

Hi jonamo, I totally understand how you're feeling. This time last year I was feeling so fatigued, unwell and brain fog but doctors said nothing wrong with me. I plodded on until May this year when I went back to dr as I was getting pain and stiffness in my hands and feet. Again I was told nothing to worry about but as my mom had had rhumatoid arthritis I asked for further tests. Tests proved positive and I was diagnosed RA at the beginning of July. My Mom was diagnosed with RA and BC at the age of 70, I'm 46 with 2 children 13 and 7. Mom beat the BC and passed away aged 83 but nothing to do the BC or RA. In early August I found a lump and was diagnosed with ILC (same as moms) in September. I can't help thinking there's a link with my RA and BC, could the RA symptoms be my immune system fighting the cancer? How could both my mom and I have the same diagnosis but mom 70 and me 46, surely there's a link. I also wonder how long I've had BC due to the way I was feeling this time last year. I had a bmx in October and my 14mm lump turned out to be 5cm and my suspected clear sentinel nodes had 1 with microcells. It seems like all down the line things are getting worse. Like you I can't help but think its spread and finding it very hard to think positive. I'm really worried about my liver as ALT result was high (487) back in August when I found the lump however this has now gone back down to 27 though RA consultant blames this on methatrexate which they started me on in July - how can I be sure he's right? Also 7 years ago when I was carrying my daughter I was diagnosed with colistasis which again is the liver giving high results but everything goes back to normal once the babies born which it did! I know that logically these are a coincidence but I can't help linking the 2 together. Sorry for the war and peace, just having a wobble day as I'm seeing surgeon and oncologist on Friday to discuss next treatment which now looks like chemo, rads and tamoxifen (originally rads and tamoxifen). I guess what I'm trying to say that it's normal to have these feelings of doubt but hopefully everything will come good for us all. Sending big hugs to everyone who is living this nightmare and can't wait until we're all able to post on the inspirations page when we're 5 years clear. XXX
Lols
Member

Re: Feeling a bit numb...

Hi jonamo,
What a time for you ((( hugs))).
I was diagnosed grade 3 bc right side 4out of 25 positive nodes had wle and ANC in June, tumour was 3.6 cm with some vascular invasion too. I'm a staff nurse so how I missed that I don't know. Prior to all this I'd had an op two years ago on my foot and since then developed trigeminal neuralgia which affected face and head in fact I couldn't get up when it hit me, had to take meds for epilepsy to try and sort out nerve pain, anyway I'm currently on chemo just had 5 th dose Monday, not the best thing but you learn what to expect and you really do cope, I've had no tri gem symptoms since the chemo started and it was the thing I dreaded as I can't talk or eat when it's bad, so you never know you might get rud off some things for ever, I'm hoping the tri gem has gone for ever as never known pain like it.
I found joining a thread with the people who are going through chemo at the same time a life safer the friends you make all understand your diagnosis and your feelings.
As penny says the waiting really is the worst, I was a wreck after my scan my bc surgeon would only order body ct no bone scan so I had a melt down, eventually gp got me one and I had another melt down and cancelled it as other scan clear. Each health authority has different protocols for scans, try not to worry so easy to say I know. I've 2 boys as well but they are older ive not bombarded them with details but they keep me on my toes as I try to stay positive when they are around, I get my moments though but I think we have to , a good cry, rant or rave and then I feel a bit better. It's good to let of steam and don't feel bad for doing it that's why the forum is so good . Once you have all your dates for ongoing treatment you will feel like you have a bit of control back, your not alone though Hun have a read through some chemo threads it really helped me get my act together , if I can help at all feel free to pm me , take care you can do ths, your a woman we are tough xxxx ju
Lucy_BCC
Member

Re: Feeling a bit numb...

Dear Jonamo
It does sound like you have had a tough time of it, please don't forget that our helpliners are on hand with emotional and practical support for you so please feel free to call and talk things over on 0808 800 6000, lines are open 9-5 weekdays and 10-2 Saturday
Take care
Lucy BCC

Penny47
Member

Re: Feeling a bit numb...

I feel for you Jonamo as my results come through in two days.  But unlike you I only had sentinel node biopsy and all of this was preceded by chemo from May to Sept.  This seems to have stopped the tumour in its tracks but not enough to shrink it so that's why I had mx.  The positive thing was they found a "thing" in my other breast when they did the MRI before the chemo which they decided wasn't a tumour; they did a follow-up MRI after chemo was finished and whatever it was- it had vanished!  (MRI scans, like people at Christmas parties, tend to exaggerate a bit.)

 

You have had a packet,losing your mother while you have been fighting first one condition, now this!  Now I can see you will have the scary succession of tests to face, along with the waiting for results (the waiting is the worst bit I think) and this is not the time of year one would really choose to be going to hospital!  However you will have masses of distractions as the holiday season develops. I hope you and your family can find a path through all the jollyness in this first christmas since your loss(es). 

 

As you will read on other threads, chemo is doable and while there are lots of side effects, everyone's response is very personal.  Your experience of Ankylosing spondylitis and its treatment may help you to cope with whatever challenges your treatment throws at you (as my experience of OA has taught me).  I hope you find plenty of support-sometimes just leaning on others is the only way through this journey.  Gentle hugs and best wishes  😉 -P

jcon130
Member

Re: Feeling a bit numb...

hi

just wanted to say hope you are ok, try to keep positive.

sending you a hug

janet

Jonamo
Member

Feeling a bit numb...

I received my pathology report today on the mastectomy and ANC I had 12 days ago. Wound healing very well with no seroma...so positive. All primary cancer removed...so positive. Tumours were 2cm and 3cm, total area of 5cm bigger than first thought...NOT positive. Total of 5 out of 12 lymph nodes with cancer...NOT positive.
Had ECG done today and Will be having bone scan this Thursday and MRI scan in the next couple of weeks. Chemo will be FEC-T (3 and 3), starting in 3 weeks.
For the first time I am beginning to think about what if it has spread? I almost don't want to know....I think my treatment remains the same regardless of outcome. I have 2 young boys and a wonderful husband who has been so supportive so I am very lucky in that respect...but after being very ill this time last year with my autoimmune disease, Ankylosing Spondylitis (9 months of crippling pain) and losing my mum at Easter, then my Breast Cancer diagnosis at the beginning of September, I kind of think how much more is a family supposed to take in one year! Feeling fed up!
Sorry just had to let of steam....