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Feeling cross!

11 REPLIES 11
NAZ
Member

Re: Feeling cross!

Ah thanks for your lovely words Rozita! 🙂

 

It can be hard sometimes and i think i was just having a 'black' couple of days at the weekend.

 

Suppose the swimming kind of triggered things for me, made me aware of my own scarred chest area and back. But as you say, we are still here, so need to make the most of the good days hey!

 

Hope i haven't offended anyone reading this, if i have, it wasn't intentional, but some times what i would give to have two natural healthy breasts again. Never mind.

 

Here's to more good years ahead Rozita!

 

NAZ XXX

rozita
Member

Re: Feeling cross!

Hey naz I was a similar time to you my 5 years in dec. I sometimes wonder what is wrong with me to still b like this nearly 5 years after when some people seem to just move on
I had a lumpectomy so luckily didn't loose my breast but I have constant aches and pains in it which prevents normal ( whatever that was ) and looks diffrent I wish I wasn't scared of it coming back iv lost so many loved ones to some sort of cancer but like you some days seem harder than before
You sound like a lovely person and you have every right to be angry I guess we don't have a choice anyway but I know I am so grateful to be still here Go get yourself a fab dress and put your lipsy on and hold your head up high !! You are a fighter and just going through what we have makes us amazing !!!! X

HueyL
Member

Re: Feeling cross!

Breast cancer does not discriminate!

mary32
Member

Re: Feeling cross!

Hi

 

Can any of us truly say that we have lived the perfect lifestyles? No alcohol, no processed foods, no meat, perfect weight, perfect excercise regime? I think not.

 

The way I look at it is that it takes a combination of factors to create a cancer that takes hold, a perfect storm if you like. The genetic error has to occur to cause it in the first place, it has to defend itself against the bodies defence systems to keep on growing and so on, perhaps a generic link in your family helps it along.

 

So a bad lifestyle choice in itself won't cause cancer, some these other things have to be in place as well.

 

Mary

 

 

NAZ
Member

Re: Feeling cross!

Thank you Jo, that is very reassuring to know .

Jo_BCC
Member

Re: Feeling cross!

Hi Naz,

 

The helpline are there for you for as long as you need support, how ever many years have gone by since your diagnosis, people's needs/concerns change over the years so please don't hesitate to give them a call.

 

Take care

Jo, Moderator

NAZ
Member

Re: Feeling cross!

Oh Keeks, what have I said... Such a bad weekend, emotionally . Sorry xxxx
I guess when we are cross, we lash out and say wrong things, just like I said to one of my good friends that she couldn't possibly about my feelings, when I know she does.

I hate BC and the impact it has on all of us at times xxxx

keeks
Member

Re: Feeling cross!

Naz I am sure the helpline have all the time in the world for you. Just like they have for all of us. There is no time limit on grief. 

 

But I'm sitting here crying because I'm the overweight smoker and I got it too.

 

Keeks

NAZ
Member

Re: Feeling cross!

Hi Huey
Yes I hear what you are saying and I totally agree with you! I just seem to have these odd days when I feel so sad and down about it all. Suppose I pine for my old body which will never be back and would give anything for another day of my old life as it was back then. I just seem to be taking forever to accept my new body, when everyone else is doing a great job of moving forwards . Maybe one day I will get there.
Jo, I doubt the helpline have time for people like me who are heading towards the 5 year mark??

HueyL
Member

Re: Feeling cross!

Hi Naz, I read your post earlier and have been thinking about what you have said. I too have days like yourself,when I see really large ladies and I think it's not fair! I have always looked after my weight and have never smoked and eaten a healthy diet! I returned to the gym last week for the first time after 18 months, I had a lumpectomy,stage 3 hert2 er+.  I saw it as a small achievement in my recovery.  I try to tell myself that all the women I see may have had some kind of health problem, or are going to! There will be women I see that may have already been through this, or may go through it, we just don't know peoples circumstances! I know it's really difficult but ,hey,you are still here, and well done for being confident enough to go swimming! This is how I'm trying to deal with it, I hope it helps a little.

Jo_BCC
Member

Re: Feeling cross!

Hi Naz

 

Sorry you're feeling cross!  Here's the link to BCC's publication 'moving forward - support for you', I hope you find it helpful.

 

http://www2.breastcancercare.org.uk/publications/moving-forward/moving-forward-support-you-after-tre...

 

Please don't hesitate to call the helpline if you want to off load to someone away from family and friends, the staff are here to support you.  0808 800 6000, lines open again Monday morning at 9am.

 

Also here's the link to the area of this website where the impact of BC is discussed further.

 

http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/breast-cancer-information/impact-breast-cancer-0

 

Take care,

Jo, Moderator

 

NAZ
Member

Feeling cross!

I just feel cross. I miss my breast more than ever and it has been nearly 5 years now! I hate how BC has messed with my brain. I went swimming today, and all i could focus on, was how NONE of the women had any scars going across their back and how everything looked 'normal' Just when i think i am done with grieving over my pre BC body, i get hit with a wave of sadness and pain. So sick of it all now, i just wish it had never bloody happened to me and to some fat unheatlhy smoke instead!

 

Just feel fed up today.