Feeling down and depressed
Feeling down and depressed Hi all,
Hope you are all ok
I have finished Chemo and Radio now and thought I would be feeling great, but I dont I feel so down it have only kicked in in the last week or so. I quess when I was diagnosed I made a promise to myself that i would better my life and fullfil all the things in life that I wanted to do. But the problem is I not and it hard I hate London and have always wanted to move away but the problem is my partner loves it and he also has a little girl and would never want to leave her which is right. But it means my options are very limited I have to stay in London for every and the thought of that makes me so sad. I have always wanted to travel and live in Australia for a year or so and I feel like my dreams will never come true. How can I make all these dreams happen if I want to be with my fiance at the same time??
I not sure if I feel down as a result of the radio I know it can have lasting effects I just feel sad and tearful all the time I have lost my appitite and have no energy this is how I felt before I was diagnosed and now I am worring myself that cancer has come back.
Why does life have to be so hard some people seems to have such a great life and mine seems to just go from one nightmare to another.
Sorry to moan ladies but you are the only people I can really talk to about anything like this.
Love Clairemm x x
hi Claire
sorry you are feeling so down , but i know how you feel i was the same after my treatment finished i felt that everything was going wrong ,and nothing seemed the same , if you could afford it why not take a holiday some where different just to have something to look forward to . i had a holiday with a friend on the coast it was a totally isolated little cottage where we could just chill out and where i could just get myself together , felt great when i came back even hubby noticed a difference so i must have been a right misery before lol.
but dont beat yourself up over it things will sort themselves out im sure .
Dawn xxx (big hug)
Oh Claire Claire
i am really sorry you are feeling down my love, its all par for the course i think with the treatment. I certainly felt down once it was all over, its a bit like losing that safety net at first as the past year has been a constant flow of trips to hospitals so see consultants, have chemo and then rads, it has to take it toll on you. Dont worry you are not alone. I learned to love that i was now free of all that and it did get better although - the thought of summer and holidays also pulled me through. I havent been so lucky now but i’ll explain that below.
Dont ever think you cant come on this board and have a moan, it helps to let it all out and there are lots of us on here to give you some support. If you fancy a wekend up here in staffs with us girlies, let us know, you are more than welcome to stay at my house. Might give you a break from London. Have to say i love London but i suppose its different when you live there.
As for your fiance and taking a trip down under travelling, why dont you ask for a compromise and ask him to come with you for a few months and then he may just get the bug for it permanently - never say never, its worth a go, if only he comes for a few weeks to a couple of months, cancer’s a life changing experience so i say do what ever you need to do.
I’ve started Taxotere chemo again today for the 2nd time, hard to believe i know, ive had a recurrence in my lymph nodes on my neck so i’m now stage 3. Got more Rads to follow and finally getting the Zoladex. I have been taken off Tamoxifen and will be on Arimidex after chemo, also been testing now to see if i need Herceptin. Cant believe i’m back in this situation, but hey thats how life goes for me.
You take care sweetie, you know where i am if you need a chat
Jakki
xxxxxxxx
Hello Claire,
congratulations on completeing your treatment! Im sorry to hear that you feel so low post-treatment but rest assured your feelings are completely normal. Ive just reached post-treatment too and like you I cant beleive just how tired I feel all the time. Oh and the gremlins have paid me a visit too-keep thinkin its going to rear its ugly head again. I havent returned to work yet and to be honest I dont feel ready despite everyone around me telling me that Im “better” now and to get on with things. Its funny you say you want to get out of London, Im the other way round, I want to be in the hurly burly of the city. The country life is too quiet for me. Hey, me and you should do a house swap! Seriously though, maybe a little holiday or maybe a weekend away out of London is in order. You deserve a treat. Also you might think about checking out The Haven in Fulham, if you havent done so already. I think post treatment is a good time to go there. You get lots of lovely free complimentry treatments that can help with post-treatment troubles like stress, diet, anixety, etc and they have lots of classes like yoga and meditation, if thats your bag of course! Next Wednesday at the Haven there is a support group meeting for Younger people affected by Breast Cancer. I might go as I havent really met many other young ones on my journey. Why not pop along?
Most importantly try no to be hard on yourself and moan away, thats what the forum is here for. I hope that as time goes on there are more good days than bad and that eventually cancer will take a back seat. Im sure it will, just give it a little more time and Im sure you can make your dreams a reality.
love
stella
x
down and depressed Hi Claire, it really is rubbish the lull after the storm, and the worst thing is that you realise that you have finished all the crap that you have had to deal with over the last six months or more and you want to do what you want to do. The hardest part is getting your partner on board, I discovered with my husband that he was still reeling from the shock of his wife having cancer and was trying to shut himself off and could not see I just wanted to crack on and do. In the end a bit of space was the best thing really three weeks away made be realise that I needed him and missed him, but also made him realise that he really could have lost out altogether and got a grip and started enjoying life with me, compromise was a big issue. Ultimately don’t just put on hold what you want to do because the good thing that having had cancer has taught me is just to be a little bit selfish because a bit cliche ‘but you are worth it and you deserve it’. Lobbers
not alone Hi Clairemm
No you are not alone - being faced with your own mortality really does make life seem very much more important. I had lumpectomy, mastectomy chemo and now Herceptin and all in the last year. Whilst it is very easy to get over the physical side of things (although I’m still not quite there yet) the emotional side is altogether different. You’re right everyone else thinks you should be back to ‘normal’ now what the hell is normal??? Keep your chin up we’re all in the same boat and need each other to keep us going. It really does help knowing that you are not the only one going through it. - my emotions were all over the place a month ago (1st anniversary of it all kicking off!!) I’m now back on the way up and trying to live each day as it comes - its very hard when everyone else stops talking about it but you still want to - try and find someone to confide in or else you’ll end up going under!! - I work for NHS and have found the staff counselling invaluable - only a thought but may be worth a try.
Keep smiling
Luv Clemy X