Feeling down

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Morning all, I got the results from my WLI and SNB on Monday which overall were pretty positive. The tumour was twice the size they thought at 4 and 1/2 cm but the nodes were clear and they got clear margins so I am still at stage 2. The bad news was they said I was a grade 3 which is aggressive and fast growing and there were very early signs of vascular invasion whatever that means? Still don’t have a treatment plan as they are doing the oncotype test first. They seem pretty positive about things so why do I still feel so down. Maybe it’s only just hitting me that I have cancer and it’s going to be a very tough 12 months although I don’t doubt for one minute I can get through the treatment and then hopefully get on with my life xx

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Hi Runnerbean,sorry you are feeling down.Your results sound positive but the wait for the Oncotype test is hard as you still can’t get your head around what treatment you will need yet .I think signs of vascular invasion means that it was developing the ability to spread outside the breast - but luckily it hadn’t !!! I think this hits you in waves ,sometimes you can carry on as normal and at others you feel rubbish .

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Hi Runnerbean

Good news re margins and nodes, but still a lot of unknowns, which is bound to get you down. You will probably feel better and more in control when you have your onco results and a treatment plan. You’d be pretty unusual if you didn’t have down days from time to time. Assimilating the fact that you have cancer is a bit of a process - i remember I was fine throughout all the diagnostics and eventual diagnosis, and stayed that way for about a week after diagnosis, and then woke up one night thinking “B&*&dy hell - I’ve got CANCER!” I don’t think it had really hit me till then. As you say, you WILL get through whatever treatment is planned and come out the other side, and life will go on. All of us on here are evidence of that! All the best to you. xxxxx

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Hi Runnerbean

I had the same BC to you…grade 3, 45mm, no lymph node, clear margins. Once this has sunk in, you’ll realise that the surgery was very positive. Have they talked to you about chemo at all? I was told due to grade, that chemo was advised. 

I think it all hits us from time to time and you’re allowed to have down days.

Sending a hug xx

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Thanks for your support, they are doing an oncotype test before they decide if I need chemo or not. My feeling is with a high grade tumour I will probably need to have it. I guess I thought I would have a treatment plan by now and waiting for the test results has delayed things again xx

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The waiting is the pits !!

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I have also been waiting for oncotype results.  I get them tomorrow, and, hopefully, a treatment plan.  I confess I haven’t had a hard time waiting this time, because I have been focused on the infection rather than the cancer.  Runnerbean, why did they say you’re stage 2?  I was upgraded from Grade 2 to 3, but they didn’t mention the stage again, so not sure if mine changed.

Feeling down is normal, by the way.  It’s a kind of sudden drop, having had the sugery, then told there is no more cancer, and yet still having to await treatment! 

 

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I think they kept me at stage 2 as there were no nodes involved and it was still under 5cm. The stage didn’t change from my original biopsy. I hope you get a low score from your test results tomorrow. I will keep everything crossed for you xx

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Sending hugs for tomorrow Pecan.
xxx

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Had my appointment yesterday - score was 14, so low. Also showed I have very high scores in terms of oestrogen and progesterone receotor positive-ness, so much to be done about that.

Will be thinking of you tomorrow.
xxx

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Good luck pecan for today x

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Morning Runnerbean
It’s normal to be feeling down, it will feel all surreal and it will be a rollercoaster but every appointment we go to and every step of treatment is to make us better. We have the best CC here. You will get through treatment (I was a total mess at first) and we will get on with life but of course it will be at the back of our minds forever. In a way it’s telling us to slow down and mange change certain things in our lifestyle. X

Pecan
Hope you get the results you want. Remember most of the treatment we are getting is to help us live a better quality of life in the future! You might not think it at the time and keep wondering ‘Why?’
Try to keep yourself occupied roday.xx

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Thanks, everyone.  I have the District Nurse coming this morning for a dressing change.  I don’t enjoy this!  And then hosiptal transport comes 2 hours before the appointment, so although there are lots of delays, it does break up the waiting time.  The actual onc appt is 3.30.  I’m still in a state of… out of body-ness.  You know, like it’s happening to someone else, I’m only carrying their pain.  :womanhappy: