Evening Margaret and Bella.
I Just want to say i know exactly how you both feel at the moment. I was diagnosed October 2012. Bella just like you i thought 'thats it' sort out the will. My Son was planning to get married and i thought my Baby is getting married and i won't be there. I even cleaned out cupboards so my lovely Husband wouldn't have to do it after i had gone. Diagnosis of Breast Cancer affects everybody differently, we all deal with it in our own way but in the early days most people struggle to make sense of it and rationally plan things, i really don't think these thoughts are uncommon. Neither is it a Depression, It is a normal response to an abnormal situation.
So... What i did was took advice from the experts, Surgeon, Oncologist and Breast Care Nurses about the best treatment for me (that will be different for everybody) and i focused on the things i could do something about and that helped me feel in control. Keeping to my routine, i continued working, cooking cleaning etc and went out when well enough. I spent a lot of time exercising and trying to distract myself, walking cinema etc. at the time all this felt hopeless but with hindsight (wonderful thing) it was the right thing to do. The treatment process takes a while whichever way round you have it and i know today is really difficult for you both but you are doing good and you're doing exactly what you need to do, one day at a time, one decision at a time.
I had Neo adjuvant Chemotherapy (i'd never heard of having Chemo before surgery and struggled to get my head around that). I had a 6.5 cm Invasive Ductal Cancer in my right Breast, Diagnosed October 2012. Chemo, Mastectomy and then Radiotherapy. I won't fib and say it has been a piece of cake but it has been a journey and i am at a stage where i can step back and even look at positives from the journey. I am just waiting for a date to have my reconstruction completed to right breast and left one lifted to match and in July, almost two years on from my Diagnosis, i will be taking my new pert breasts and skinnier butt to my gorgeous boys wedding.
Ladies keep posting then we will all know where you are at with your treatment, remember you are doing good and you will get there. Take Care Gilly x
Hi Bella, I couldn't leave your message unanswered. I know exactly how you feel and it does take a while to adjust to the b++++y awful uncertainty of everything.
I too have sorted out my affairs as I think thats perfectly Ok, this is a really scary thing that really focusses your mind on what matters. Now I am trying to lean on whoever I can to get me through this and out the other side so I can live again, be that for two or thirty two more years. I phoned the Samaritans today, first time ever and they were OK, I was just a bit desperate for someone to talk to who would not get upset.
It's the worst time ever but one that you and I will get through.
Take care Bella and be your own best friend, do whatever it takes and keep in touch, Sue x
And Bella..........I don't understand why all women don't have mastectomies AFTER the chemo.......it makes sense. A friend of mine had chemo first........it didn't work.....so they tried another which did...........then she had the mx.
I had chemo after surgery.........and how do you know it's worked?
It's understandable that you feel so hopeless..........I think we all do when first dx.........we have no control over what's happening,,,,,,,,and that feeling is normal. We're used to organising our lives......but we can't do that any more.........we have to listen to others........and that's scary.
When I was first dx I was told it was small etc & I wouldn't need chemo........fast forward a couple of weeks & chemo was on the cards. I was absolutely scared s......s. I sat in the chair waiting for my first chemo and just wanted to run............ But it wasn't half as bad as I expected. I felt rough sometimes, yes, but just kept my head down, got on with it, and thought 'it'll be worth it ' and it was.
It is scary when first dx............you don't see a future.........but there is.
Someone on these boards was told by their onc.........'if you give me a year, I will give you your life back', That was certainly true for me......but it does seem a long year!
Bella, I completely get the hopeless feeling - on Friday last week, before the call I did not have cancer, but then I did but bugger all informaiton and this week a tonne of tests and a partial diagnosis and possible 4 - 6 week journey ahead of me - If I can do this as a newby you can too - in fact from what I can see on these posts we are not alone - I said to my partner the other day its a journey I dont want to take but I am slowly waking up to the fact that i am a tough old bird (or rather young one - being under 50). Some days look like they will be easier than others and there is a huge support network I have only started to sractch the surface of - not sure how this forum works re friending - I confress I have not really used forums but today I have found it fanstatis for advice - my partner also gave me some good advice tackle it in small chunks and work on what needs to be worked on first --- All the best of the best C
So sorry to hear you have joined the forum and feeling so low, but there are plety of ladies on here with lots of experience and offer much valued and appreciated support.
If it helps I just want to say I am having chemo first (just had my 5th session today). prior to surgery. My tumour was 2.6cm x2.6cm and I had a MRI after second treatment an it had shrunk quite a bit so I will be having a lumpectomy. I was advised this was the best treatment for me and chemo first is becoming more popular. It gives them a clear picture of how effective chemo is working and also eases your mind its doing what its meant to.Chemo is definitely do-able although side effects not great. When I spoke to breast surgeon he said my prognosis was very good. Sometimes we have to put our trust in the team looking after us as they have seen this every day and know whats best for us even though you will have bad days but once your treatment is in place you will feel much more positive and in control.
sending hugs x
I'm sorry Bella........you're in the worst possible place right now. It's so scary.
I know I planned my funeral etc etc (it's still on my PC) and really couldn't look into the future at all.......it was bleak.
But that was nearly 6 years ago............I had 3 lymph nodes affected and vascular invasion & I thought it was a death warrant.............but I'm still here........enjoying life and rarely (very rarely) come on these boards. There are plenty of women who are off enjoying their lives and don't post here......they're too busy enjoying themselves. OK, the treatment isn't pleasant, but it's so worth it.
I still have my hospital bag and wig on top of the wardrobe...........I don't want to tempt providence.
Just cross one bridge at a time.......once you know your treatment schedule you can come to terms with it & just get on with it.
You will get over this.........keep telling yourself.
Its not abnormal at all to feel overwhelmed with a bc diagnosis - but you've already taken some good steps like coming onto this forum and meeting up with people here.
Its great that you feel like getting up today - even if its just to do one or two things. I'm sure you will feel a bit better for that. Bella11, its bound to feel worse if you haven't been sleeping and not eating much. I hope you can have something to eat today - treat yourself to something that you really like.
Take care xx
So sorry that you have just got this news. It must have come as an enormous shock to you.
I know that waiting for results is such an anxious time - it is sometimes easier once you know what you are dealing with.
Do you have something to distract you for the next few days? Its just until Wednesday, but that must feel like a long time away now.
If you can try to take this step-by-step. You've already had your mammogram and MRI, so the next step will be to meet with the team for the results and then to start to put a treatment plan together.
There are lots of treatments available and your medical team will be able to advise and guide you on that.
There are many many people who are treated for bc that has been detected in the lymph nodes. The main thing to remember is that the treatment is there and the medical team will work out what treatment is best for you.
I hope everything goes as well as possible for you on Wednesday.
Keep posting and let us know how you are xx
Welcome to the forums. This must be very difficult for you, I’m sure other users will be along to support you soon.
In the meantime, maybe you would like to talk things through with a member of our helpline staff who are there to offer emotional support as well as practical information. The free phone number is 0808 800 6000 and the lines are open again in the morning and normal hours are Monday to Friday 9.00 to 5.00 and Saturday 10.00 to 2.00.