Feeling so down

[blueash]

The fear of chemo is far, far worse than actually having it. You feel rough for a few days, lose your taste buds and some people get annoying things like mouth ulcers. You will not get as many side effects if you can manage to fast the day before and the day of your chemo. Google Valter Longer about chemo and fasting.

I used a cold cap and kept masses of hair - so don't worry about that either.

You will be fine lots of us have had to have it xxx

[Anniej]

Unajoy, I think that you need some help here. Does your GP know how you feel? I would get an appointment to discuss these things. Also, your chemo team does need to know your circumstances. Transport can be arranged to get you to appointments, community nurses can check on you. I promise you, you will not be alone. In addition the help line here is great. I used it a few times at my lowest ebb, and when I didn't want to worry hubby. We're all in this together, plus charities like Macmillan and Maggies and this wonderful place. It's a bit of a b you just moving, but reaching out to people might just surprise you.  Lots of ladies never have infections, so maybe the tunnel getting that bit longer has scared you. It's very doable these days. Chemo may not be a walk in the park, but look at all of us on here who have reached the finishing line. It is doable and gives a much better survival rate, and surely that's what we want? I sending you a great big hug as I guess you're  in need of one. There's also a pair of big girl knickers going the rounds. I've needed them a few times! X

[Sib]

Sending you a hug. X

[CK]

Unjoya43
The lack of sleep is normal as our mind wanders and we have a lot on our minds.
How about discussing with your OH and see if he can suggest something.
Although he doesn't drive it would be good to have him close to you even if tou need to pick him up from the nearest transport?
My family live overseas so I need to rely on friends and neighbours. It's about letting them know and you would be surprised at how much support they offer.xx

[Unjoya43]

No sleep here....:(

[Mishy18]

How would you feel about OH staying with you while having treatment even for chemo week? I know everyone is different but maybe it well help you feel better, Im sure your med team will arrange for a local district nurse to visit you, also depending on your chemo you might get the filisgram injections to do which you can arrange for a nurse to do it for you daily, speak up though re you circumstances and they will put something in place for you, take it you cant sleep either!!

[Unjoya43]

Thanks for your reply. Unfortunately I have moved from my hometown by over 250 miles. Family and friends are back there. My OH is here but we don't live together and he doesn't drive. This is a problem due to my rural location. I'm usually the driver. I haven't been in the area I now live very long. I'm a bit stuck in terms of who to call on for actual physical help. I'm hoping I won't need it.

[CK]

Unjoya43
There are a few of us who live on our own and I understand how you are feeling if you have any problems but just make your BC team aware of this and also let your friends know, so maybe they can take in turns to pop.in to see you. I know you might not want to trouble others but you will be surprised at how supportive someone the least you expected can be. I opened up which is unusual and have had great support. You just need to speak to people so they know.
And when you need to speak to someone, come on here. There are some amazing ladies on here.
You are not alone! xxx

[Ms Merton]

Don't worry about it but do make sure your onc team are fully aware of your lifestyle circumstances. They can prescribe drugs which bring your immune response back up again (Neulasta etc). They also give you emergency antibiotics to keep at home. My onc said the biggest infection risk for most people is themselves! So you can minimise the risk with good hygiene etc.  I travelled on crowded tube trains, went to the theatre, busy shopping centres etc all the time and I was fine. I have cats but was careful to wash my hands after touching them.  On the other hand someone else I know treated with a different type of chemo for a different type of cancer did suffer with infections but she already had asthma and other relevant health problems. Just make sure you also tell the onc team your full medical history, even things that may seem irrelevant to you. Worth asking your GP, Macmillan helpline, etc what other help you may be entitled to or can access locally? For the majority of people the chemo is merely a bit unpleasant - a bit like having jet lag all the time. Sending you all my best wishes xx

[Mishy18]

There will be support out there if you let your medical team know you are on your own, yeah I agree too less likely to catch something when you live alone no little people to give you dreaded bugs and things xx

[Unjoya43]

Phew! I was hoping ud say that

[Sue C]

Oh sorry.....double negative! I mean that you won't get an infection because you are less likely to catch something from someone else xx

[Unjoya43]

Did you mean won't or will get an infection

[Feather1944]

Thinking of you Unajoy and sending you big hugs xxx

[Sue C]

Hi

You might not think it at the moment, but you will be able to do this, I promise. Do you have any family or friends that can pop in if you're having a bad day? Also, your gp surgery or community nurses will be able to come out.

It is quite unlikely that you won't get an infection, especially if you're by yourself. But when the time comes, you can speak to the chemo team and let them know your situation.

Sending a hug xx

[Unjoya43]

I don't feel like I can do it. I live alone with my dog. I can't get an infection and be admitted or anything like that. I live in middle of nowhere and I have to be able to fend for myself.

[CK]

Unjoya43
We are in the same situation! Sometimes I'm dreading chemo yet another side says it's here to mend me so I strengthen up again.
It's normal to feel how you do and as Sue has commented many people have said it's not as bad as we think. Our minds do wander and it is certainly
is a rollercoaster for all of us yet when I see so many ladies come out on top it really does give me hope and determination to get better.
Please post again or there is a hotline you can ring. You are not alone.xxx

[Sue C]

Hi
Welcome to the forum.
There is light at the end of the tunnel, it's just that the tunnel is slightly longer!
We do know how you feel. Many of us have been through chemo ( and rads) and come out the other side. Chemo is not as bad as you might think. It is very doable. You will get tired and unfortunately you will probably lose your hair. BUT it will give you the best possible chance going forward and your hair will grow back.
Once you get your head round it all, you will see that its all achievable.
When the time comes, join the monthly chemo threads so you can chat to others going through the same as you.
Best wishes and chin up.
Sue xx

[Unjoya43]

Hello. I have recently received a high oncotype score and am now facing Chemo. I was looking at a 27 percent chance of recurrence with just tamoxifen but oncologist says chemo will reduce this by 10 to 15 percent which I do understand would put me back in the low bracket. I had been all prepped for radiotherapy and had even started tamoxifen. There was a light at the end of the tunnel that has now gone out.

Since getting this information I have become very depressed and feel like I am just living waiting for this thing to come back. I am terrified of starting the chemo.

I don't know what to do.