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Feeling worried

8 REPLIES 8
haz25a
Member

Re: Feeling worried

Aw Sonya,

 

Sorry you were feeling rubbish yesterday. Smiley Sad Hope you're feeling a bit better today. Yeah, I know exactly what you mean about partners etc. not understanding. My Partner and my parents both decided that once I had the "cancer cut out" that would be it. I had to get my sister to speak to my Mum in the end as my Mum was just burying her head in the sand, as was my partner and I was left to deal with the reality of the situation on my own.

 

My partner and I are on a waiting list for counselling (separately!) at a local cancer charity. He accuses me of being verbally abusive to him and that it's unacceptable. Yes, he has bore the brunt of my anger but don't we always take it out on those closest to us?

 

I feel as if Cancer has just consumed my whole life at the moment, it's hard to think of anything else especially when you awaiting results and don't know what it's going to be happening treatment wise.

 

I'm sick of people telling me to positive all the time and telling me about "so and so had cancer and they're fine now" They might be fine now but they might have gone through one hell of a journey to get there. Unless you've heard the words "You've got cancer", I don't think you can truly understand.

 

I do so hope you get your results on Monday.

 

Hazel. xx

sonyacheet
Member

Re: Feeling worried

Hi Kim
Mine is a Grade 3 invasive ductal carcinoma. It's 2.2 cm. It's not HER2 +. I don't know the stage yet. This is all I know at the moment.
I don't understand all the percentages that everyone is talking about. I'm sure I will when my results come in.
I'm getting over obsessive with all the information. I just want to know as much as I can so I'm prepared for whatever may come in the future.
Thanks Sonya x
Kimucoughdrop
Member

Re: Feeling worried

Dear Sonya

I am sitting in bed worried about the results. I just had a feel of the lump before I got into bed and I am thinking  it has grown quickly, I would have felt it a month ago so now panicking that it is grade 3. 

 

I hope you get the results on Monday as I know the waiting is hard. 

 

Did they tell you how big your lump was prior to surgery ? Mine is 11mm invasive ductal grade 2 at biopsy but they said 20 percent go to a grade 3 after pathology . 

 

 

Love Kim x

 

Sue H-S
Community Champion

Re: Feeling worried

Hi again Sonya, they may have your provisional results, as they are often e-mailed to them, before the final report. Mind you it is provisional only - so ask them, if you are happy with an initial provisional result. I did, and the final result was as the provisional - although I had braced myself for further not so good news. To understand your feelings and to forgive yourself for them you might find this link of help https://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/information-support/facing-breast-cancer/diagnosed-breast-cancer... Do not let them rush you - I was lucky and was always seen by my surgeon, a nurse and my BC nurse. They Let me take as much time as I need - which I think is very important, as you need to understand and be happy with all you are told. I found it helpful to write down all of my questions before the appointment and ensured I went through them al, before leaving. Information is so important to us, to be able to manage the situations as they come along. Thank you for your wishes - I keep my fingers crossed for you on Friday. xxx
sonyacheet
Member

Re: Feeling worried

Hi there,
I should get my results Monday 23rd but have been told they may not be back in time for my appointment which makes me worried that it could be at least another week before I hear anything.
I have even gone so far to as question, why me? I'm tired grumpy and finding it hard to be my usual positive self. I may just drop in to clinic on Friday so the nurse can check the fluid level. It's still very uncomfortable.
I was only in for about 10 minutes the other day which was disappointing after an hour wait to see her. It was very rushed. Hopefully I will get a bit more time with her if I go Friday.
Good luck to you all
Love Sonya x

Sue H-S
Community Champion

Re: Feeling worried

Hi Kimucoughdrop, Good luck tomorrow. The final pathology results take usually 2-3 weeks, which seems a long time. However it gives you the chance to recover from surgery, before considering the next step. Hoping all goes well for you. xx
Kimucoughdrop
Member

Re: Feeling worried

I go in tomorrow for my op and I know once that's over with it will be the waiting for results. We have stepped onto this rotten journey. Crumbs one minute you are just getting on with your life and then it's turned upside down. It's been a real comfort to me reading posts on this forum knowing I am not alone. When do you get your results? 

Sue H-S
Community Champion

Re: Feeling worried

Hi Sonya, so sorry to hear that you are having such challenging times. Moan away - you have every right to do so and it may help to relieve the pressure and worries, which you are trying to keep in to pretend everything is normal. It is quite understandable that things, you would usually have taken in your stride, suddenly become the one thing that push us over the edge. I don't know, whether you have been given these publications, so here are some links - you can download them and let your husband read them. It might help with his understanding. It is challenging for him too - men often feel they have to protect us from everything and when something happens, which is completely out of their control, they feel powerless and struggle with not being able to have protected us. And, as it is the unknown they often withdraw into their 'cave' and stop communicating. MEn tend to be 'fixers' and when they cannot fix something........ https://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/information-support/publication/breast-cancer-you-diagnosis-trea... https://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/information-support/publication/in-it-together-partners-people-b... You both may also benefit from some counselling, which is often offered - perhaps you could ask your BC Nurse? It is understandable, that you are scared of what is to come. Have you had your pathology results yet? They should be the basis on which your follow up treatment will be decided and will also let you know whether the actual cancer is now gone. It will take many weeks for you to recover from the actual operation - and that alone may make you feel tired and less able to cope with things. Your body has to work hard to heal. Should all be well, and clearance is ok and nodes clear - your follow up treatment is to ensure it does not come back - so although it can be challenging, it will give you more assurance that you are doing everything possible to stay healthy. Hoping you feel better very soon. xx
sonyacheet
Member

Feeling worried

Hi there
Sorry to go on but I've had a really bad day of feeling sorry for myself. I'm recovering from snb and wle on Wednesday last week and have been at home all day on my own watching rubbish TV and movies. I'm uncomfortable but not in pain. I'm swollen and there is a build up of fluid in there but not enough to cause problems.
I know I sound like I've got nothing to worry about but I'm scared about what is to come. I don't think the hubby really understands that this is a long journey. A hard journey with many twists and turns and that just because the lump is out it doesn't mean that I'm immediately cured and better. I've tried to explain it to him but he can't understand why I'm frustrated and narky with him. We ended up in a fight because our son, who is usually quite well behaved, had managed to get in to trouble at school two days in a row. I work at the school and have seen the way he can behave and expect staff to treat him the same as every other child. Whereas the hubby is quick to blame his teacher and say he is being picked on. His teacher would never pick on any child and this has upset me so much that the hubby would think this.
I usually just get on with things and try not to let things bother me. I haven't even started treatment yet and feel that I haven't got the right to moan when there are so many of you in worse situations than me. Having treatments that are making you feel so ill and sick so I apologise for my long vent.
Lots of love
Sonya x