Hi
Had a mx and SNB on Friday. Decided against reconstruction at this stage but am going to need chemo. Operation went well and the pain is definitely not as bad as I’d feared. However, it was my first op ever and my first real experience as a patient so everything has been very new and very scary. I came home yesterday.
On Friday I felt good that I’d got through the op and pleased that the tumour is no longer in my body. However, since then I just keep dissolving in tears and feeling that I can’t really cope. I’m worried about going for my results in 10 days, hate having a drain (but am worried about it being removed in case it’s really painful), am really anxious about the prospect of chemo and just can’t seem to find any inner strength or positivity - which I need and did have a bit before the op. My partner and best mate are being amazingly supportive so I feel guilty for crying and seeming so negative. Any tips on how to feel less scared, overwhelmed and tearful would be gratefully received!
Thanks
Wendy x
Hi Wendy
I’m sorry to hear that you are having a pretty tough time at the moment. I’m sure the users of this site will be along to support you soon.
In the meantime maybe you would like to talk to a member of our helpline staff who are there to offer emotional support as well as practical information. The free phone number is 0808 800 6000 and the lines are open Monday to Friday 9.00 to 5.00 and Saturday 10.00 to 2.00.
Best wishes Sam, BCC Facilitator
Hi Wendy,
Sorry you find yourself here. I had chemo first. I’m now just over a month since my seventh (and final) infusion and it was not a nice experience, but it was nowhere near as bad as I had imagined. Other ladies on the forum will also confirm this. I think we all get through this by focusing on each part of our treatment separately. You are through the surgery, but now face a new challenge. This will be another first for you, and it is understandable that you will feel scared. It will be better once chemotherapy is underway and you know what you are facing.
Sending you a gentle virtual hug!
Margaret
Hi Wendy,
I’m in a similar position in that I am between surgery and results. I had went in expecting MX and SNB, but as the nodes were tested during the op, I ended up with stage 3 ANC. Our hospital policy is that you wait three weeks for results, I think to alllow more time to heal before the next stage. However, it doesn’t stop me feeling like I have been ambushed; 3 weeks to the day between initial mammogram and surgery. I have been very lucky with family support; my Mum stayed for 10 days to run the house and I have been coping for 4 days since she has gone. OH has been fantastic with emotional support, but it doesn’t stop the worrying. The only thing that keeps me going is that I can’t change what is happening, and I have to go with the flow. We all hope for good results on the day (in my case 20 Feb). My BCN keeps saying that the operation is the main treatment, that the lump has been removed and any further treatment is to prevent reaccurence. I remind myself of that every day.
Keep busy doing what makes you happy, a displacement activity at least! Best of luck for your results
Christine
Hi WAC,
So sorry you have to find yourself here. I had Mx and snb on 12.12.12, three nodes removed one of which had cancer cells in it, so I’m currently having chemo. Like you, I went home with drain in. Although I hated the thing, it only caused me discomfort when I lay on it. Having it removed wasn’t at all painful. District nurse came out to me, removed all the glue holding the tube in place (that was a relief in itself), snipped the stitch holding it in, didn’t feel a thing. Then she said ‘take a deep breath and hold it’ I did, and she gently pulled the tube out and put a dressing on it. She also left me a dressing in case I needed it the next day. I didn’t, but wore it anyway. Wound where tube had been was quite sore for a while so I used E45 cream on it and on mx scar.
I have only had one session of chemo, but didn’t have any problems with it except for a bit of thrush, and tiredness. As long as you take your steroids as prescribed, and use the anti-sickness pills, you should be able to cope with it. Of course, it is different for everyone. I belong to the February Valentine group here in the ‘undergoing treatment chemotherapy’ thread. Pop over to have a read at our posts, we’ve all had different effects, but none have been unbearable for us.
As for inner strength or positivity, you’ve had a massive shock, you will gradually begin to find a way to deal with it, especially when you have your results and your treatment plan. But please come on these forums often and read the posts of others to help you come to terms with your experience. Don’t be afraid to rant, moan, ask questions, anything at all while on here. It’s what we all come here for.
Wishing you good luck and sending big hugs.
Poemsgalore xx
Hello Wendy,
Huge hug for you. I expect almost anyone who has walked this path before you will recognisie herself in what you have said. I had the whole shebang around two years ago, albeit in a different order, so hopefully I can reassure you a little bit.
I remember in the first few days after I came home from my surgery feeling quite emotional as the enormity of it began to hit me. I had four drains (I had immediate recon) and can assure you that it didn’t hurt when they were taken out - an experienced nurse will get it out whilst you are taking the deep breath she tells you to take!
I had my chemo first, as I had a massive tumour. Of course it isn’t fun, but it is doable, as hundreds and hundreds of women can testify. You may find it helpful to join a ‘starting chemo in month xx’ thread to get some peer support, but remember that people tend to post more about struggles than the easier bits. I was one of those annoying wotsits who worked all through treatment; I say that not to boast, but to encourage you that some people don’t find it so bad, but are unlikely to say so.
It is very early days just now, and you need to be very gentle with yourself. Just now it sounds impossible, but the time will fly by, and you will soon be looking back on all this.
Huge hugs (gentle!!)
Revcat, I’m not surprised to hear you worked through your treatment, you are such a star and have given many of us inspiration. Big hugs to you too.
Poemsgalore xx
Hi
Thank you all so much for your inspirational and reassuring comments; they are really helping to allay some of my darker thoughts. After the shock of diagnosis - largish area of DCIS plus grade 3 invasive tumour (but only about 1 cm, they think) - I really tried to focus on the positive, on getting through the treatment and getting on with life afterwards. It’s just this past week, with the reality of the mx, that this has seemed so very difficult. I think I’m just being my usual, impatient self - and I hate feeling out of control! I do need to just take things one step at a time.
This really is an excellent forum and I will certainly seek out other threads. Thanks again - and hugs.
Wendy
WAC
My drain removal didn’t hurt and takes no time at all. You’ll feel lots better once that old drain is removed. Just think of this time, between now and results day, as being there for you to recover from your m/x, which is a big thing to go through.
All the things the other ladies said about treatment are right and it’s best to deal with one little bit at a time. We let our thoughts race ahead…just deal with the present.
Jen x