Just resurfacing after first chemo session on Monday. A few tears as the canula went in - suddenly became very real, but I sat happily with the cold cap on looking fabulous (not) for 3 hours, reading, snacking, snoozing until it was all over. I felt ok when I got home so made a big mistake and ate dinner. I never knew how much my stomach could hold until I saw it all again! Lesson One learnt. Snacks only! Tuesday and Wednesday is a fuggy blur of sleep and my mum feeding me chopped up grapes and weak ginger tea because that was all I could manage. But yesterday afternoon I got a call from my BC Nurse who gave me the brilliant news that my CT scan was clear - tears of happiness and relief all round. Now I can focus on the blighter that lurks in my right breast only, and fight on.
I am going to ask for stronger anti-sickness tablets for next time, because I'm a bit feeble when it comes to nausea, but otherwise I'm feeling positive now, knowing that 3 days are a write-off but not completely unbearable.
Now the waiting is over, it is definitely easier, so to everyone out there - stay strong lovely ladies ❤️
So much of what you said sounded like me, I too have grown up kids that Im worried about one of my daughters in particular but she seems to be doing ok
I have just dug out all my craft things and hope that I will be able to find the energy to get absorbed in those when the chemo is working on the cancer.
I dont have a start date for chemo yet but it is hopefully soon..I am looking on chemo as my friend and ally it is going in there to kick this cancers butt!! I am imagining it like pacman or alien and on my side. Yes it will make me feel ill but it is going to save my life
I am having chemo to shrink the tumour and kill cells in my lymphs so much like you perhaps.
I have been buying scarves and hats like crazy too and looking online at how to tie them etc.
I feel like you need to learn an entire extra load of stuff once you get this diagnosis its exhausting and yes I struggle with sleep too, I get up as soon as I wake so my mind doesnt scare me and the house is very very clean 😄
Hi Tor, I've just read your post and it resonated so much with me. A year ago I was in your position, I'd had one mastectomy but was facing another followed by chemo and rads. I felt totally out of control and lost. One of my sons was about to do a levels and the other had accountancy exams coming up. I couldn't bear to burden my mum who had been through bc herself and lost my dad to prostate cancer. However, one year on and I'm living life again. It was not easy and Christmas last year was incredibly difficult but once chemo starts you just grit your teeth and get through it. I felt as though I was drowning with it all but you do swim with the tide and get out the other side.
I just wanted to let you know that there is life after bc and hopefully I'm through it now. I crossed off everyday on my calendar so I could see myself getting to the end!
Lots of love
your post touched me...so many things you mention I experienced the same. My daughter was in a state over my diagnosis, she was devastated.My Mum (87) felt helpless, she lives 300 miles away.
I cried every night and sleep was difficult.
You have already been through the mill but as you say you have been happy with the professional care you have had.
Try not to be frightened about your chemo , yes you may feel unwell but you will cope as you already have coped brilliantly during the last month.
There are lots of ladies on here to give support and friendship.
loads of hugs
Hi everyone - I was diagnosed a month ago, Her2 positive and in axillary nodes, and am still in a state of shock. I was firstly told I would have a mastectomy then chemo and radiotherapy, but once the biopsy results came through, this changed to chemo first. In the past month I've had appointments with consultants, my oncologist, 4 biopsies, a bone scan, a CT scan, heart echo, and today a breast MRI. Chemo starts on Monday, and I am terrified, it feels like I am about to be pushed into a deep dark hole. My friends and family have been wonderfully supportive but I am also feeling very overprotective of my kids (all grown up but my daughter is feeling very vulnerable). I've had my hair cut shorter, bought loads of scarves and woolly hats, bought ginger tea, all the mouth products that help with ulcers etc, books, jigsaw puzzles, constructed a huge playlist, signed up to Headspace for meditation, and feel as ready as I'll ever be. Daytime is spent keeping as busy as possible, cleaning and filling my freezer with meals so my husband can wack something in the microwave for when I can't manage.
But I cry myself to sleep, or can't sleep at all, and wander the house untl the small hours, in the depths of despair. Wondering if it has spread, how will I cope during treatment, will my mum (85) cope, will I ever be able to travel the world and fulfill my dreams....
This forum has been really helpful, just reading through people's experiences, so I just wanted to add mine, and wish everyone the best outcome possible (I don't think luck comes into it, this is down to the wonderful professional care of the NHS). Love and positive vibes ❤️