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First meeting with Oncologist tomorrow

14 REPLIES 14
rosie14
Member

Re: First meeting with Oncologist tomorrow

The July 17 thread has now been started!
Bolly
Member

Re: First meeting with Oncologist tomorrow

Thankyou-I will do.
My first Chemo went well-have been drinking loads of water and just feel a bit tired and headachey so far,but just taking it as it comes xxx
Thankyou and love and hugs to everyone xxx
rosie14
Member

Re: First meeting with Oncologist tomorrow

Great news Bolly remember to join the monthly thread poss July. You can start it by writing a new thread called July 17.
Charys
Community Champion

Re: First meeting with Oncologist tomorrow

That's a brilliant outcome! Well done on taking action so quickly and effectively,that should help you feel more settled at such a difficult time. You have every reason to be positive!!!

Bolly
Member

Re: First meeting with Oncologist tomorrow

Thankyou everyone for your help-I really appreciate it XX
My BCN is fabulous and I have spoken to her and she has changed my Oncologist.Apparently my first one has a reputation for not being very accommodating so at least I know it isn't just me! I feel a bit more positive (again) now and have been to a Chemo talk this afternoon,at my Hospital and my first Chemo is next Thursday (29th).My head is overflowing with information but I want to get started now and get on with it!
Lots of love to you all and Thankyou for being there-and for keeping me sane XX
Charys
Community Champion

Re: First meeting with Oncologist tomorrow

There doesn't seem to be a July one started just yet. It'll be some of the same people carrying over from June to July anyway, so pop on over and have a peek.

Charys
Community Champion

Re: First meeting with Oncologist tomorrow

Hi Splinters...

 

Here is the June thread, mind you are practically in July, so I'll quickly find that one for you. Just post on the threads to say 'Hi' and thats all you need to do to join.

 

https://forum.breastcancercare.org.uk/t5/Chemotherapy-monthly-threads/June-2017-starters/m-p/1118137...

Splinters
Member

Re: First meeting with Oncologist tomorrow

Thank you. How do I join the monthly thread. Starting next week 30th June
Charys
Community Champion

Re: First meeting with Oncologist tomorrow

Oh Bolly, that is just terrible......you've done well to even type that without losing the plot! Sounds to me like a man who has absolutely no bedside manner AT ALL, and no interest in being thoughtful and sensitive. Its a fine line between being realistic and telling the truth and being bloody negative.

Unfortunately these types of consultants exist (mine is not a good one either and I was glad when I went back to the surgeon and was seen by the deputy oncologist!) and they simply shouldn't be doing the job they are, as its quite clear that a large part of dealing with human beings illnesses is the emotional and psychological side of things.

In all honesty, I would ring your bcn and ask if you are able to see a different oncologist....if you are at a large enough hospital where this is possible ? If that isn't possible then I think you should ring and complain anyway, as unless this happens then the hospital won't be logging the problem and it will continue for you and others. I know its hard when you feel so vulnerable and low, cry on the phone if thats how you feel, but this person is going to be seeing you quite a few times and if you simply find you don't like and can't connect and trust them, then its going to continue to be hard for you. You've had very conflicting information from different parties, and from the oncologist himself and you have every right (your body, your life, your nhs!) to have a clearer communication meeting with someone.

 

Did you go on your own? If you did it sounds to me like it would be helpful to have a supportive and strong 'someone else' go along with you.

 

x

rosie14
Member

Re: First meeting with Oncologist tomorrow

Hi Splinters you need to allow 3/5 hrs for chemo. So I would get someone to bring the kids home from school for you so that you don't have to panic if you overrun!
When you commence chemo do join the monthly thread either June or July as these will be the ladies that give you the biggest support as they are making the journey with you! I am from April 14 thread and 5 of us still post and we are having our 3rd meet up next month!

rosie14
Member

Re: First meeting with Oncologist tomorrow

Hello Bolly no wonder you are feeling down!
What a pity that you have such an unpleasant oncologist I don't think he should be doing the job he is when even the nurses say he is abrubt!!! I would definitely contact the breast clinic immediately to explain what the oncologist has told you. Who ever is right or wrong you need the truth!
When you do commence chemo join the monthly thread which will probably be July 17 now not sure if it has started yet but someone will start it any day now!

Bolly
Member

Re: First meeting with Oncologist tomorrow

Hello everyone-still new to this so please help me.Told on Monday that I have BC but a small tumour and some in Lymph nodes.Breast Doctor and Breast Nurse saw me in the Breast clinic for results and were both very optimistic that it can be treated and that there is definitely so much to be done and to be positive about.Was told that it hadn't spread and wasn't anywhere else (bone scan and CT scan were both ok)and that I could have surgery straight away but that it would be better to have Chemo first then mastectomy.I know it is bad news but it could be so much worse and I really felt very positive about being able to deal with it.
Then yesterday we went to see Oncologist (who several nurses had pre-warned me that he is very abrupt)!! And we came out of THAT appointment feeling the total opposite of the day before-he told me that the chest wall was involved and that there was something in my neck he didn't like-even though he said himself that my scans and x-rays were all clear of it being anywhere else.Said that he can't guarantee that I will ever be free of it and may have to live with it
He really contradicted himself a couple of times and went from telling me that lots of woman go through this and it can be done to making me feel that I am actually terminally ill and every one else was lying to me.I know i am panicking now but I just felt so depressed yesterday after feeling so positive at the breast clinic.I found it all very negative.Am really down in the dumps now.
This site is so helpful and I don't know what I would do without it xxx
Thankyou xxx
Splinters
Member

Re: First meeting with Oncologist tomorrow

Thank you Argymargy. Its Already been decided on chemo before op as mines aggressive. Called him BORIS. Fortunate to Have hubby and bestie with me at every appt as my ears cos you don't absorb it all. Didn't know how long to put aside for appt as like to organise my day/ kids
Argymargy
Member

Re: First meeting with Oncologist tomorrow

Hi Splinters - sorry to hear that you're here!  Every oncologist is different, of course, but I imagine there will be a specialist nurse in the appointment with you.  The oncologist should explain what kind of treatment plan you will be offered, including the drugs, the number of treatments, whether you will have chemo first or surgery first, the likely need for radiotherapy and when you might have this etc.  It's worth taking a friend because they will remember things that you don't remember and may have questions that you haven't thought of.  Also handy to get the friend to ask the doctor/nurse to repeat things that you may not fully understand.  Try to write things down.  Best of luck. xx

Splinters
Member

First meeting with Oncologist tomorrow

Hi everyone, very new to this malarkey. Diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer a fortnight ago. Having first meeting with Oncologist tomorrow. No idea what to expect?