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For the Young Uns!

34 REPLIES 34
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Re: For the Young Uns!

Hi Everyone,

I thought I would share my little bit of good news, I have seen my doctor today and they have told me I can have a lumpectomy rather than a mastectomy I still have to have chemo and radiation treatment but I can do that I have been seriously ill in the past so I know I can get through that. I said I felt so vein wanting to keep my breast but like others on here I am single and I know we all say a bloke isn’t worth having if he cant get past my breast but still I just couldn’t bare the thought of having to deal with that I’m only 25 and the thought of having to worry about that every time I started dating someone freaks me out maybe its because I’m young I don’t know. I am just so grateful after being seriously ill in the past I was just praying for good news and finally I got some. Strange a few weeks ago I would never have thought minor surgery and chemo would class as good news but today it is.

I hope that more of you get a little luck like I have, if you don’t than please stay strong and turn to this forum I’m very new to this illness but this place to come and vent has already felt like a haven to me, so thank you.

Lindsay

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Re: For the Young Uns!

Hi everyone

I am 34 and was dx 22 sept 08, have had 4 FEC, 2 Tax and 2 Herceptin so far, see oncologist again tomorrow hope to find out what next. ie surgery!! I'm so going to miss my breast, but suppose the brand new one will las longer.
I'm also finding it all a bit hard sometimes as I am on my own, I did want kids but prob won't be able to try until I'm 40!!!!
I don't really think about it but will a guy want to touch me again?? I'll cross that bridge when i come to it, if he doesn't then he's not worth it. Right girls?

I've still got long road ahead but we can jsut take little steps at the moment take each day at a time

hugs to all
Sharon x

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Re: For the Young Uns!

Hello all,
I think I have joined this thread a little late, but never mind I'm another 20 something.. I am 27 and had my primary dx at 22. There seems to be quite a few of us young uns on here!
Love to all
Sarah x

ness1
Member

Re: For the Young Uns!

Hi everyone. Great take on the old BC susie, sad stories always overtake the good positive outcomes.

Im now nearing the end of treatment am having my 3rd Herceptin this Friday, just feel tired on it, no other noticeable side effects yet. My treatment plan has consisted of Chemo, Mast, rads, ovary removal and Femara daily for the next 5 years..

Are any of you guys going to the younger womens forum in Sheffield next month??? Im going so see you there if you are.

Here's to a better 2009 then 2008, onwards and all that.

ness1.
xx

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Re: For the Young Uns!

Hi guys, I think I might be able to just sneek in this group, but not for too much longer - 39!

It is rare at our age, but we're all checking and all catching it early so we will survive and become stronger people as a result!

My experience of BC has not been too bad really. I'm one of the lucky ones, but thats why I joined this forum - to spread the more positive word.

When I was first diagnosed a few months ago, I dared to check the web in general for info. It depressed me, so many really sad stories, so I instantly stopped looking. There are success stories, but unfortunately they tend to be swamped by the sadder ones.

In short, I found a lump, got it and a node whipped out and had radiotherapy - end of story! So you see, there is a lesser extreme. If I'd've taken on board all the stories, I'd've had myself written off!

It isn't all doom and gloom, so if you're newly diagnosed don't assume the worst. Concentrate on the positive stories - I did and I'm ok now!

take care - Susie

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Re: For the Young Uns!

Hi Lindsay,

I had a lumpectomy so managed to keep my breast... and with clothes on you can't tell but breast is a little flat on the side where they removed the lump so its not always a mastectomy but just prepare yourself that you will look different no matter what but I can cope with mine... I do feel really lucky. I did say to my best friend that I think the mastectomy would have pushed me to my limits but she said that I would have dealt with it, just like i did everything else because I had to!

You sound like you've been through a lot already so you know that you have the strength of character to get through it and I know it'll never be the same but there are men out there, decent men, who will still want to be with you... it might not be as easier as before but I'm sure it'll be fine!

I hope your feeling as well as you can and I've got everything crossed for you! Let me know how you get on

Erin xxx

Lucy_BCC
Member

Re: For the Young Uns!

Hi Lindsay, welcome to the BCC forums,

BCC have published a booklet for those newly diagnosed which may help you to understand more, you can order it via the following link:

http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/server/show/conPublication.82

We also have dedicated 'younger womens' services and information which you can read about via this link:

http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/server/show/nav.712

Please also call our freephone helpline on 0808 800 6000 which is open Monday to Friday 9am-5pm and Saturday 9am-2pm, here you can speak to one of our team who are either specialist breast care nurses or have had an experience of breast cancer themselves and are here to support you and help you through this difficult time.

Best wishes
Lucy

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Re: For the Young Uns!

Hello

Im 25 and newly diagnosed with early breast cancer.

I found out this week that i have breast cancer i think i'm dealing with it quite well i have been seriously ill in the past with another illness so i am kind of used to hospials, surgery and stuff. My one major fear though is a full mastectomy. i came on here to see what other people have gone through but i have only scared myself more because it seems like everyone has had to have a mastectomy. Honestly i think i can manager any treatment if it meant i didn't lose my breast. Does anyone feel like this and has anyone on here not had to have a mastectomy. i think people probably think im living in denial but i'm only 25 and single and i don't know if i'm strong enough to live the rest of my life with a deformed breast.

Well i guess i will find out on wednesday what my treatment and surgery will be.

thanks for letting me vent.

Lindsay

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Re: For the Young Uns!

Hi All,

Hope everyone is well... Had a really busy xmas and was lucky enough to be whisked off to New York for a week which was amazing!

Angela - firstly you didn't kill the thread! you know what its like when no one posts for a couple of days and it slips down... I cannot believe they couldn't detect it from the biopsy... at least they still removed it. I wanted to get my eggs frozen but because I'm triple positive I wasn't allowed plus I'm on Tamoxifen now for 5 years and have had my periods stopped so I won't even know if I can have kids until I'm nearly 30! Have you finished your chemo now?

I'm starting to get my energy back now... feel like I haven't been myself for a really long time... although, please let me know if anyone does this too, but my friends will come over and after about an hour or so I'm really tired and literally don't talk... just go quiet and can't really think of anything to say, which is very unlike me! My friends have been trying to shut me up for years so they must be loving it!

I hope everyone had a great xmas and new year and roll on 2009!

Erin x

amdacc
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Re: For the Young Uns!

OK, I didnt mean to kill the thread, Sorry Guys.

Angela

amdacc
Member

Re: For the Young Uns!

Hi

Thought I would join if its ok... Im 34 and was diagnosed in june. I went ot the drs with a lump and was sent to the hospital. I had a biopsy in May, It came back clear, so i was sent for another biopsy which also came back clear. My lump was 4cm x 2cm so the surgeon decided to remove it anyway. When the results of the lumpectomy came back they discovered that there was cancer in the core of the lump that the needle could not penetrate. I have invasive grade 3 ductal cancer , tripple neg. So I was back in for a mastectomy and lymph node clearence exactly 3 weeks after the first operation. There was cancer in the lymph nodes too, although it was only 2/20. I went to get eggs frozen as I have no children and I do want them, so that held off my chemo for a bit over a month. I started chemo and went onto the tact 2 trial. I am now about to start no 8 so i have an end in sight and I have 4 weeks of rads to start probably at the begining of feb.

I started a new job just 8 weeks before I was diagnosed, talk about bad timing especially since I had healthcare at the old job hehe, just my luck.

I agree with the feelings about being looked at with pity inthe OC department, I havent met anyone under 50. The hospital I go to has a support group, but again its all older women. This sight is great, It makes you realise your not the only one going through this.

I dont know about anyone else, but I have found that you really find out who your friends are... I have one friend that Im supposed to be a bridesmaid for, who didnt phone me for 3 months after finding out about the cancer.... Some freind eh! I just think that there are so many people who just cant deal with the whole cancer thing.

I hope 2009 is a better year, I have heared so many bad things this year (not just my cancer diagnosis),

I hope veryone in here will have a fantastic year next year, Happy new year, it can only get better!!

Angela

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Re: For the Young Uns!

hi girls I am 31 - well my mind always feel like a 12 years old. I was dx before my 31st birthday and now undergoing kimo. My tumour was triple negative and no known family history. It was so wired to find out that i had BC.. Now 4 months after dx i still could not believe it sometimes.

I also jioned the telephone support group and find it useful too.

I guess the most annoying thing is you donot know what is going to happen in the future. If I am in my 70s and had BC i might be more relaxed..

Having said that life is full of uncertainties anyway. If it is like a TV programme guide and you know what to happen next it will be so boring..

Hope you all take care and have a lovely holiday!!

xxx

lisaf
Member

Re: For the Young Uns!

hi all, im 35 but feel about 55 at mo but in a much more positive place at mo. was widowed a few years ago, then got b cancer on 35th birthday and like Angie, live in lake district. Had masectomy, chemo and rads and then potential family history but no-one as young as me, opted to have ovaries out, and now on arimidex and bone strengtheners. Just found out bone scan okay as had pain and was really scared had spread so of to enjoy works party tomorrow - hoepfully 2009 a better year for all of us
xx

ness1
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Re: For the Young Uns!

Hi everyone, just wanted to say that I have just finished an 8 week BC telephone support group, and found it well worth taking part. Its a bit strange at first as you dont know who is speaking etc so you have to say your name before talking, but after a couple of weeks you recognise everyones voices. There were only 4 of us, plus nurse and moderator. I think that myself and the other 3 girls will keep in contact now as we have shared 8 hours of dialogue together and have gotten to know each other.
Ness.

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Re: For the Young Uns!

Hi All,

Reading the posts I still find it unbelievable that there are so many young women in the same situation... being on here makes me feel more 'normal'... because I do feel like a rarity... when I go in for radio at the moment... there are a group of older people who will start a conversation and talk to anyone/everyone but me and when I walk in I get looked at... I swear they're talking about me somethings... but that might be the paranoia, lol! Although the time my mum came and I was in, they all starting talking to her!

How is everyone else? Charlotte sorry you had to join this but its the best place to get advice... i think we all know how it feels to have support from friends and family but that they can't understand it!

Erin xxx

TelephoneSuppo
Member

Re: For the Young Uns!

Hello everyone
I just wanted to make sure that you know about Breast Cancer Care's telephone support groups for younger women (women in their 20s & 30s). The next one is due to start on January 29th 2009 & it lasts for an hour a week for 8 weeks. Up to 8 women take part plus a counsellor & nurse who act as facilitators. The groups provide an opportunity to talk to other young women with breast cancer about the issues which affect you. If you want more information you can either call the helpline on 0808 800 6000 or e-mail

best wishes
Suzi

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Re: For the Young Uns!

hi Charlotte

Im sorry to hear of your news. i just wanted to say that I am also 28 and was diagnosed in september. Im a little further down the line than you in that Ive had my mastectomy and am currently going through chemo ( had 2 so far). Id be happy to chat anytime, and there are lots of lovely helpful ladies on here.

Yvonne xx

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Re: For the Young Uns!

Hi all

It is so good to find this forum! i was diagnosed with breast cancer just over 4 weeks ago, it doesnt run in my family and so was a big shock. i had a total mastectomy 3 weeks ago and i start chemo in a couple of weeks...so i get to have christmas which is nice 🙂
i have been feeling pretty positive, but somedays are really hard and it would be good to chat with people who are in the same boat, sometimes you fell like no one can really understand!

I am hoping to get internet at my home soon, so will def be using this alot!

xxx

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Re: For the Young Uns!

Hi, just sneaking my nose in, (I'm 39), you've probably noticed but in case not there is a younger women's forum in Cardiff on the 23/24 Jan. I'm not sure if I am going yet but if any of you are going it would be great to put faces to names (Louise79 - we might meet - having missed each other at the BRI for so many weeks by only one day each time!)

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Re: For the Young Uns!

Yvonne you might like the breastfree website:

www dot breastfree dot org

Strangely now that I've lost the steroid induced puffy cheeks and my hairs a really short grade 1 look I'm being mistaken for being early 20s instead of early 30s by quite a few people so the theory I read on there that some people don't even notice you're *that* flat chested and rather see you as young and athletic is true.

I'm not even sure I miss my old boobs now, at least they'll never get saggy now, I don't mean that to sound dismissive but I'm starting to actually like the new me on some levels so I'm really quite sure I'll not be doing reconstruction now. I don't even bother with the prosthetics. I don't *need* a bra anymore and in some ways that's really very liberating so I'm not going to wear one just to make other people comfortable and having been totally flat chested for months now no one notices.. not one at all it seems 🙂

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Re: For the Young Uns!

zena
your very brave and have an amazing attidude xx

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Re: For the Young Uns!

Hi everyone
I was 35 when first diagnosed had lumpectomy and lymph node clearance - results showed I had 38/40 involved so had invasive chemo and mastectomy and rads
I was just in the process of seeing plastice surgeon for delayed tram flap recon and I was diagnosed with secondaries in my lymph nodes to the chest and partially in my lungs - so this has completely stopped my recon. I also have the BRCA2 gene which should mean me having hysterectomy but now cant as I have started chemo again - but hey I am here and thats is what keep me going.
I understand where people are coming from with not having recon and having it I have days where i wish I had had my surgery but others where it really dont bother me as I am just glad to be here
I hope everyone dont mind me gate crashing

Take care
Lisa xx

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Re: For the Young Uns!

hi everyone
im also 21 and have just started the procedure for my risk reducing operation
i decided 2 find out if i had the gene last year, after lots of thought i did feel sergery was the way forward- after watchin my mom aunts grandmothers having breast cancer i didnt want 2 go throught wat they have- especially my mom who has suffered wit it 3 times!
i have had my expanders put in and have my first session of saline pumped in 2 morrow which i can say im lookin forward 2
I have amazing friend and family and i feel very supported by them.
my story - lisa xx

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Re: For the Young Uns!

Hey ladies!

I'm Anna, I'm 21 and have decided that I will be having preventative surgery in the next year or so.

There is a long family history of breast cancer, despite going to geneticists we can't find a common gene but if you saw a pattern of over 5 generations, there is very much a hereditary factor somewhere!!!

I have been told that it looks like I have a 1 in 2 chance of getting BC at some point in my life, my mother was diagnosed when she was 29, which isn't that far off. So it worries me a lot and with a lot of conversations with my GP and other doctors we've decided to have a double mastectomy and reconstruction to remove as much of the breast tissue as possible to reduce my risks dramatically.

I'm on here really for as much support and advice from as many people as possible regarding life after the op and what you go through when having it - pretty much everything! Everyone has been amazingly supportive so far on here, it's lovely to be able to talk to other women who are going through similar situations and gaining advice and support. Really makes me think that I have more strength to be able to deal with it.

All of my friends have been amazing when I've talked about it. It was funny, one of my best mates was talking about it with her boyfriend who I know very well and he said "It's alright it's happening to her as I know she will be able to cope with it and come out smiling, if it had happened to anyone else, they would be a complete mess", which shows that my friends think that I can do this.

So there's my story! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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Re: For the Young Uns!

hi Mandy
I think youre right going to see him in the months after treatment- I guess this is what will happen with me, it is a very personal choice so we'll see what happens (one thing though there is definately not plenty of me to play with, ,lol, as Im just an A cup). Im getting my proper prothesis fitted on thursday morn so looking forward to that- even with a little comfie it rides up a bit.
Its weird waiting for your hair to go- I was shaved to a number 3 the other night but will ask oh to go to a number one tonight as now have massive bald patches. I know it sounds weird but I just want it all gone now so that I can look forward to it coming back- Ive not enjoyed the waiting. Hope yours hangs around a bit longer.
Yvonne x

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Re: For the Young Uns!

Hi fellow youngsters! I was 29 when I found my lump, Diagnosed with Grade 3 invasive then 2 days before my 30th had lumpectomy where they foun 2 lumps not 1 and now had mastectomy and undergoing chemo (FEC/Docetaxel). Had planned a holiday to Australia for mine and my partners 30th Birthday but we had to cancel. I was shocked due to my age more than anything, and the fact that to my knowledge no one in my family other than my dads sister had BC (she was in her 50s). But I was more shocked when they said I was not the youngest, and now talking to some fellow youngtsers I realise I am in the mid range when it comes to the age this horrible thing can catch you at.

YCM1980 my Surgeon is the best in that all the cancer has gone! Hoorraaaghhh!!!! However he has the tact of an X factor judge! First he said "Recon wouldn't be a problem as there is plenty of me to play with" then said he would see me in 9 months to discuss further after I have had all my treatment. I said "Recon was the last thing on my mind, I want to get on with my life", then he said "well if you are happy looking like that...." I thought get me while I'm down why don't you, is it not bad enough that I was already overweight, I have now lost a breast, gonna lose my hair any time now, and he says something like that!!!! Joking aside, I feel fine when I have something in my bra, but I don't like it when nothings is there but that is only 10 minutes a day in teh shower and I think I can cope with that rather than have more surgery. At the end of the day its personal choice.

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Re: For the Young Uns!

ness,

i'm probs not the best person to ask about ld recon as i've been pretty bloody unlucky and had every side effect that is possible, its been a nightmare since my surgery. This is partly because i have a blood clotting defect that everyone was unaware of until i had major surgery.....they still havent got to the bottom of it, but it has caused a lot of problems.

Its 3 months since my surgery and i am still not fully healed (although i think ive got less than a week to go!) thats why i eel down at the mo. If i'm being more reflective however i would say i'm glad i had a recon, it has just changed how my body feels soooo much more than i had anticipated.

My BCN keeps telling me its not about getting back to normal, but finding a new normal. We cant get rid of the physical and mental experiences we've had and they fundamentally change us. She thinks its harder the younger you are as the shock that your body is not invulnrable is more profound. I like to think of the cheesy old adage that what doesnt kill you maks you stronger. fighting this horrible disease will surely make alot of lifes other 'trials' seem like a walk in the park!

It is good to know that i'm not the only young one out there. (although its also quite sad!)

Lou xx

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Re: For the Young Uns!

Hi everybody
Im 28 and I was wondering if any of you are not having reconstruction following mastectomy. This is my choice but I get the feeling the hospital think Im in shock or something and I'll want it later on. Maybe I will change my mind but I dont think I so right now. Ive just started chemo( 1 down of epi/cmf)- HER2 positive, rads after chemo then herceptin, tamoxifen ( a wee background there). Good to find this young thread
Yvonne x

ness1
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Re: For the Young Uns!

Even though im a bit older then you guys, the looks from the older people in the chemo/rads waiting room drove me mad. I just knew they were saying 'poor thing' or words to that effect as soon as i left the waiting area.

Lou - you mentioned your ld recon results were 'wrong looking' were they not what you were expecting? or did you research and found yours to be different? were you expecting a replica of your real boob? Sorry for all the questions Im just keen to learn stuff from others who have had LD recon. I will hopefully be having this next year, couldnt have it at time of mast as I needed rads after. Any information would be greatly received, positive or neg.

And yes about going back to the day before dx when your life was normal, wouldnt it be nice just to have the same worries as everyone else, instead of 'is the cancer gonna get me'??? I too have found this website invaluable as as one of you has already commented, everyone on here understands, where as friends and familiy try hard but are not even close to how this feels, and yes its always someone else mum or gran who has been there before. (Although, unfortunately I happen to know a number of aquaintances/friends who are going through this at the moment, I am the youngest at 36 but the others are 37, 38 and 41 which I think is still way too young to be suffering this.

Check in again soon.

Nice chatting.

Ness.
x

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Re: For the Young Uns!

Hi All,

Firstly Ness of course you can!

Faith, I know what you mean... that's why I joined this website because its always someone knows someone else and they are usually older and in a completely different stage of life... so this forum has been a complete god send! And its not selfish, its hard for friends to really understand and I felt the same that someone who was a lot older who not be really that relevant to how I'd feel. I'm assuming that you'll be having chemo, rads and maybe tamoxifen and/or herceptin depending the results from what they removed. I started taking Tamoxifen a few weeks ago and so far (touch wood) I've been fine, no side effects really and I'll be starting Herceptin soon. How have your friends and family been?

Angie, I know what you mean... I joked to everyone that I'm like a retired person because all my friends work so I'm left to my own devices and especially during chemo when I was really tired and all I did was knit and do cross stitch... if nothing else I've learnt some new skills! How did you fall over?

Louise, I get the "looks"... and it is frustrating but its just part and parcel I suppose. I know about the body stuff... I put weight on through my chemo and now I think to before when I had a lovely figure and used to hate it and think I was fat, etc etc... at least I'll appreciate it when I get the weight off!

I generally feel a lot older than my friends... not jaded just feel like i've been through more than they have because bc is the hardest thing i've ever experienced...

For me I get frustrated that every other 24 year old is carrying on as normal... out and about... they have hair! lol... and I was up for a promotion at work but have been off sick and they had to give it to someone else... and this someone else is awful, she couldn't do her job before and all she does is complain about how much she hates the promotion and I want to shake her and tell her she wouldn't have the bloody thing if I hadn't been off sick. I suppose, I just feel like I've missed so much whilst I've been through all this. Also, does anyone else feel like everything has changed forever? Its like not matter what cancer will always be part of me and my history and even though I might get better it will never go away... I just want to go back to the day before I found my lump and not have this hanging over me!

Its great to speak to some younger ladies! 🙂

Is anyone going to the forum in Sheffield next year?

Erin xxx

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Re: For the Young Uns!

I'm 29 and have often felt like a freak in the waiting room. The other women always seem to think ive come to support my mum (it really upsets her that its the other way round)

've hadmx and ld recon and am struggling with the results. Do any of you feel like you've really aged during all this? I look at other 20 somethings and feel alien to them. I cant believe how much i took my beautiful nubile body for granted. Now its all scarred and wrong looking i want to run up to other girls moaning about their tiny imperfections and tell them how lucky they are which is something my gran always said to me!!

Lou xx

ness1
Member

Re: For the Young Uns!

Hi Erin, am I too old (at 36) to drop in on your younger, younger womans thread once in a while?????

I still feel really young etc, but have been married for quite a while and have 2 kids, and I do appreciate I must sound old compared to 24. LOL

Ness1.xx

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Re: For the Young Uns!

All year I've felt like I've been surrounded by retired people, mainly because I haven't been working (all my work mates are in their 20s or early 30s. I'm on of the older ones at 33) The village I live in has a lot of retired people (Lake District) so I found myself thinking like a 70 year old. I even got invited to join the Womens Club!

Arghh.

I've done chemo which made me all fragile and achy, then rads that made me knackered but that's all done now, I'm back at work and out clamberring over the fells again (or sliding down them like today 🙂

I never thought it would be cancer either as there's no known history in my family and yet it turns out I have the BRCA gene so it was actually pretty destined to happen after all...

What a year, I'm looking forward to the next one (even though it means starting tamoxifen and have the ovaries removed).

Angie

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Re: For the Young Uns!

hi erinG
good idea your totally right its crazy at such a young age wow 24 it just gets younger its sickning really good news you finish your treatment xmas eve hurray to you must be so relieved.

Im 26, 5 weeks post op, from mx and LD reconstruction had high grade dcis luckly no invasion or lymph nodes but still feel like ive been through a wild journey and to say i am very traumatised to be honest, and fet really alone with my age as my friends would always say my nan ,my aunt,my mum ,has had bc but never any body so young, so i felt what they were telling me about there relative etc was not relevent to me selfish mybe but thats how i feel.

Never in a million years did i think A- it would happen to me. B- at my age never just goes to show never say never lol
I am now waiting to hear back now fom the results to see if estogen positive to see if need tamoxfin so thats my next step touch wood wounds healing how they should.

any way ive been talking far to long on here starting to waffle lol

take care xxxx

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For the Young Uns!

Hi All,

I'm 24 and am currently having treatment... will finish radio on xmas eve, hurrayyyy!

I thought I'd start a thread for the younger ladies on the forum because the younger forum covers a lot of ages and thought that the younger lot might appreciate our own thread!

Its so weird having breast cancer... never mind when you're in yout 20s and think it will never happen!

Erin xxx